Give a Nigerian a teaspoon of power and I guarantee you he won’t know how to act.

Have you ever noticed how we lose our minds when we’re given the slightest taste of power? The usher in church who wants her way or the highway? The year 12 student who terrorizes brand new junior students? The family member at the party who hogs all the shrimp, small chops and jollof? What of the older sibling who shouts “I am not your mate” every time there’s a fight? Excuse ma, you need to chill. Were you there in heaven directing what time you wanted to arrive on earth? Or was your soul playing the fertilization game and beat your younger siblings to the womb?

It’s not like other countries do not have this problem. However, in Nigeria, these behaviors go unchecked. We just keep quiet for the sake of peace. That’s what we say. The truth is, we’ve become lazy and numb. If someone finally grows the vagina (vaginas are much stronger than balls, argue with your mother) to actually speak out, we pounce on them! We make fun of their pronunciation, their delivery and throw the entire message away!

Last week, Nollywood actor, Aremu Afolayan posted a few videos on Instagram detailing his experience dealing with immigration officers at Murtala Mohammed Airport in Lagos. He was high key frustrated; his voice broke as he complained of the officers declaring his sister’s French passport fake and a manager demanding N120,000. He questioned what President Buhari and the governor of Lagos State were doing watching their citizens being frustrated at every turn. Lastly, he ended the video saying aye gbo gbo yin o ni da (it shall never be well with your lives)!

Reactions from that video ranged from support to even mockery. Some comments made fun of his Yoruba accent, wrong use of the word “mayor” instead of governor, a few others told him to leave the country if he didn’t like it here. The next day, FAAN released a public message and many blogs talked about the power of speaking out. Speaking out is definitely important. However, the underlying issue is our abuse of power.

Here’s how we can all collectively deal with this. Start at home, treat your children domestic staff with respect. Extend this habit to your workplace. That does not mean you shouldn’t be firm when necessary, but do not belittle and dehumanize them. It’s absolutely terrible to threaten reducing someone’s salary without reason. If for some reason, you find yourself falling behind when it’s time to pay their wages, address the issue immediately. Transparency is absolutely necessary. How can you demand it from your leaders when you won’t display it as a leader? Make your workers as comfortable as you can. Workers can only progress if you provide them the tools to work seamlessly.

These steps sound easy, and you’ll want to breeze through them. But on some days, you’ll have withdrawal symptoms. You’ll want to raise your voice, won’t see the reason to address your staff (after all you’re paying their salaries), and you’ll find yourself taking out frustration from your personal life on them. If you fall, don’t worry. Retrace your steps, apologize when necessary and work to be better.

It’s time to for all of us to go to rehab, we just need to admit that we have a problem. That’s the first step to recovery.