THE MONSTER WITHIN

She told me she had a boyfriend
And it was her first relationship.
She told me she loved him so much
And does not want to hurt him.
But I liked her.

I didn’t care if she was with someone else.
I wanted her for myself.
I was ready to fight to get her.
I called her day and night,
I texted her every single minute.
I was always there for her.

She told me to stop several times
that I was making her fall in love with me.
She was taken and couldn’t betray her love.
That was what I wanted,
I wanted to be her distraction.
I was selfish and wanted what wasn’t mine.
I didn’t care of the consequences.
I wasn’t thinking straight,
I just wanted her.

I invited her to my place,
I wanted to tell her how I felt.
I was dying within me.
I promised her that my hands would remain in my pockets.
She trusted me and came over.
She came to have a peaceful and productive conversation.
I was dazzled when I saw her.
She was sexy, just like fresh bread from the bakery.

My heartrate increased.
The devil within me came out.
I forced myself on her.
Yes, I raped her.
She was a virgin,
I could see the blood on my bed.

I didn’t know what came over me.
I thought it was love
But clearly my actions proved otherwise.
She sat on the corner crying,
She was covered in her tears and blood.
She called me “a monster” and ran away.

I was confused.
I felt bitter.
I couldn’t ask God for forgiveness.
I had sinned against her and God.

I ran after her but when I got outside she was gone.
She was knocked down by a car
As she was about crossing the road.
She rested not in peace but in pieces.

I can’t forgive myself.
This was all my fault.
I am a monster indeed.
I have killed a human being.
I have become the very thing I hated;
A Monster.
A Rapist.
A Killer.

Please forgive me,
And help me fight this monster within.

Nice poem