If we Nigerians can endure economic hardship for almost 4 year now, I don't see the reason why ur mom and fiancee will not tolerate a little time shift as little as two months unless there is underlying issue we don't know. Bro this is the time for u to prove to be the man in the center of all the matter make use of veto power abi executive 6. I wish u all the best.

Extremism:
Bros, any marriage plans wey don begin get K-Leg like this get as e be oo so better run. I had similar experience when I wanted to marry one Igbo babe like that. We had dated for three whole years and it was time to get married. Na wedding venue destroy our relationship oo. I'll advise you thread with caution at this stage. It may be a sign that you and the lady aren't meant to be together.

You should not go into marriage because of threats of calling off the marriage. That's not a good foundation to start a marriage. Take a decision and stand by it. If your woman and her family doesn't like it, so be it. But never ever bow to threats and blackmail. It's not a question of what your mother wants but what you think is best for you.

Lol lemme guess...she wanted it in her village and you didn't?

koyyes:
This is the main reason why ladies should never date for more than a year and men should not date when they are not ready for marriage.

It is very simple.

If after 6 months, the male you are dating is not talking about marriage,just move on to a serious and responsible person.

Ladies, be wise.

u pple will just be giving funny advice that u can't follow if u r in the same shoes.do u have a son or daughter..?? It's only desperation that will make one marry a person he has never seen or know from Adam in less than 6months
please...if ur son comes home with a potential in this terrible day and age..and tells u he wants to marry with 4-6months....u won't ask him any question ??
when it's not like he's 45 or 50 years old

This is clear sign that the marriage will be a shaking type. Talking from experience.

Someone else must have asked for your girls hand in marriage and she refused believing you are there for her. She is afraid of loosing you since she has rejected others. Hence her anger for the change of date.

How can your mom and mother inlaw intrude so serious. I bet you this is how they will still dictate for you after the marriage.

How can your mom threaten to curse. Are you sure she has accepted that girl? If I am that girl I will run 4:40 ASAP .

I SEE A MARRIAGE WITHOUT PEACE. Thread cautiously please.

1StopRudeness:


u pple will just be giving funny advice that u can't follow if u r in the same shoes.do u have a son or daughter..?? It's only desperation that will make one marry a person he has never seen or know from Adam in less than 6months
please...if ur son comes home with a potential in this terrible day and age..and tells u he wants to marry with 4-6months....u won't ask him any question ??
when it's not like he's 45 or 50 years old

Do you start dating someone the first day you meet the person? Or you are those type that are accustomed to one night stands, so you don't mind seeing a stranger for the first time and asking the person out without getting to be friends with the person first.

See, my advice is for smart and responsible people. You can be friends(I mean real friends)with someone for less than 1, 2 or even 10 years before you officially start dating the person. After few months of dating, you should already know he/she is the one if you are a smart person.

Only foolish people will date without purpose or date when they are not ready for what's coming next. It is these kinds of people that cause numerous problems for others with their numerous excuses of why they can't marry the other person. Then why tag the person along because he is not 45 or 50 ?

You think at 30+, the op is still a kid? Do you think all males want to still be paying school fees at 50/60 years?

Do you think all men have the biological luxury of fathering a child when they are past 35 years?

I don't expect you to understand my points. You will learn the hard way.

koyyes:


Do you start dating someone the first day you meet the person? Or you are those type that are accustomed to one night stands, so you don't mind seeing a stranger for the first time and asking the person out without getting to be friends with the person first.

See, my advice is for smart and responsible people. You can be friends(I mean real friends)with someone for less than 1, 2 or even 10 years before you officially start dating the person. After few months of dating, you should already know he/she is the one if you are a smart person.

Only foolish people will date without purpose or date when they are not ready for what's coming next. It is these kinds of people that cause numerous problems for others with their numerous excuses of why they can't marry the other person. Then why tag the person along because he is not 45 or 50 ?

You think at 30+, the op is still a kid? Do you think all males want to still be paying school fees at 50/60 years?

Do you think all men have the biological luxury of fathering a child when they are past 35 years?

I don't expect you to understand my points. You will learn the hard way.

Sincerely u are speaking as if life is a textbook....
After few months u should already know if the person is the one??
Every relationship don't start with with friendship, people meet in different ways. On Facebook on twitter, on the street, some are lucky they marry their friends from primary school or college.. inshort....
There's no point conversing with you, you have a sterotype view about relationship...

PrimadonnaO:



I started by advising him to walk away if he's nursing hopes that this un-submissive woman would change for the better.

But if he has decided that it is her who he must marry, then he's got no choice but to stand by her. That's how leaving and cleaving works. Either he's in or out!

better

na wa o

Op
1. Your mum does not like the girl, mother in-law/daughter in-law brouhaha loading - RED FLAG
2. Your mum does not have a good relationship with the girl's family, that explains why she has been reluctant to meet with them concerning the date - RED FLAG
3. Her old self keeps coming back, believe it or not, that is who she really is. She is just trying to keep the relationship going. Marriage will open the parcel well - RED FLAG
4. If something like wedding date can make her threaten to call the marriage off, biko what would happen when bigger Storms in marriage appear? - RED FLAG
5. You are not in charge here, your fiancee, mother and in-laws are the ones behind the wheels, you are just their passenger - RED FLAG

Because you are going to live with your fiancee not your mum or in-laws, you have to consider this

Can you in the long run accommodate and tolerate that attitude of hers in marriage?

Believe me, if you settle every other thing without this one, your marriage may not be successful.
My 2 cents

Please about this relationship seriously, there are too many red flags

[quote author=thelish post=74036606][/quote]. Haba mama na.

Donlexino:
Babe u smoke weed with that your eyes like that

yea... I sniffed cocaine too... I can give u some if u re interested...

I understand you so well but the way you pushed ur point is too aggressive.... 6 months is the starting stage for friendship to grow.........I vote for 2 - 3 years of relationship

1StopRudeness:


u pple will just be giving funny advice that u can't follow if u r in the same shoes.do u have a son or daughter..?? It's only desperation that will make one marry a person he has never seen or know from Adam in less than 6months
please...if ur son comes home with a potential in this terrible day and age..and tells u he wants to marry with 4-6months....u won't ask him any question ??
when it's not like he's 45 or 50 years old

prettyesther20:
And a man that listens to his family is ready to leave his family? U are too baised

Another one spotted.

Dogalmighty17:


Her family has been very accommodating. They have been open to see my mom. My mom however, keeps finding one excuse or another not to go.

What an elder sees while seating, a child wouldn't even if he climbs the highest mountain.
There's more to this than meets the eye

MichaelBukamzy:
oga,this is enough warning sign to back off.you are still skeptical about marrying her.at this stage,the both families should have been close friends already. you wanna go with your inlaw's date against your mother's? she might have her own reasons too,she went to the extent of laying a curse must you go against her. also,as you are doing all you can for the wedding to hold,remember to observe wheather madam has shed off that bad character as she promised,trust me relationship is always time for mutual deception.when you settle down,she will dig out those attitudes been burried just to keep the courtship going. if i am you,i will back off if inlaw is not ready to go with my family's date,i cant ditch my mother because if unfortunately shit hits the fan,you fit clean am alone .

The guy strikes me as one who doesn't care much about his family's opinion. He seems to be doing much to talk down his mom and painting his in-laws as saints. The same mother in law who said he should break up the relationship if he feels her daughter is disrespectful.

monalicious:


The guy strikes me as one who doesn't care much about his family's opinion. He seems to be doing much to talk down his mom and painting his in-laws as saints. The same mother in law who said he should break up the relationship if he feels her daughter is disrespectful.

Exactly dear. his dad is late.his mum ought to be listened to.family first, unless he has plans of going to marry her alone.

Cindy95:

God/Allah bless you dear... the guys are all shouting that the girl is obeying her family forgetting that the man is doing the same.
please both of you are practicing sane thing. it's not easy changing wedding dates, it looks embarrassing and childish. it's better you don't fix a date if you guys ain't ready nd before you fix a date, the two families ought to be there to deliberate on it.
you are the man, you know your woman and your family better than us, besides we just heard one side of the story.
nobody knows what the lady in question is also passing through. so please before we judge, let's put ourselves in the girls shoe. (it's better we don't fix a date rather than change it thrice and it's enough to end everything cos no one knows what will happen in April too)
please, I'm not here to judge anyone but this matter should be resolved between the two families...
nairaland just might not give you the perfect answer cos we dont know the situation.
the best advice you will ever get is the one you actually gave to yourself so please I'll advice you to do it the right way.
thanks

Too many 'gbagauns' in your write-up. Are you literate at all?

MzErica:
Too many 'gbagauns' in your write-up. Are you literate at all?

ask your father that question... English us not my mother tongue. fake asses killing themselves for another man's language. English professor wehdoneooooo.

"Threatening to curse me with her breasts"

XhosaNostra:
"Threatening to curse me with her breasts"

LMAO

Jaqenhghar:

LMAO

What does that mean lol

XhosaNostra:


What does that mean lol

Laughing my ass off

Jaqenhghar:

Laughing my ass off

No, not that. I meant cursing with breasts. It's such a funny phrase.

XhosaNostra:


No, not that. I meant cursing with breasts. It's such a funny phrase.

Hehehhee. Id like to know how that os done.

Is it possible to have a better platform even on nairaland where boys and girls won't be allowed to post on issues that's just for older adults....


A 20 -27 year old guy has nothing to tell u about a good relationship.....


To the op I believe u haven't grown up coa in your 30s u still can't decide for you and your wife to be....u look like someone that will run back to the mum over every little issues you have with wifey in marriage.....



Pls before you marry learn to go for seminars, conference and talkshows about relationship


Lastly I advice you to read a book titled men are from mars ,women are from Venus.it will help you to relate better with ur mum and ur wife in future


Take this piece u need peace of mind from them both for you to live longer....

My piece though

Op how did this story end? Did you get married? Was it in February or April?

IamD18:
Low self-esteem is damn bad!

What nonsense! Will you die if you don't marry the lady?

If little issues like wedding date can make her family advice her to call off the relationship, what then will happen when a bigger issue shows up in your marriage.

Trust me Bruv, if they really want you. I mean, if the lady and her mother really respect and like you, WEDDING DATE will not be enough reason for her to think of calling off the relationship, it won't just be enough reason for the mother to tell you to leave her daughter alone.

The earlier you understand that no one is irreplaceable, the better for you.

In my opinion; Kindly part ways with her,Mr.


PART WAYS!!!!!

Inside life......well said bro....you nailed it.

OilsPartsCars:
Dogalmighty17

One thing I have come to terms with in life is that, people don't really take advice, what they look for is validation. They already know what they want to do, they come around to ask you, see o, see o, urging you to what they have actually resolved to do.


From your post and reply, it is obvious you want us to tell you to ignore your mum and just go ahead regardless. What you can not see while at the apex of a hill, your mum will have a clear view just seating down. That babe and family will show you pepper. (If you don't want to marry, go na. No Wahalla. Which kind gutter talk be that. So the 3yrs you guys did together doesn't count for you.)



Rush and do what is in your heart. Like Jesus told Judas, hasten to do it bro. Be fast with it

Don't no why people are dissipating energy advicing who has already made up his mind.
Love dey shark yoy now.
Funny enough sef, na even evening newspaper they torment this wimp. Chai

Dogalmighty17:
I have dated this girl for three years. We fixed a date for the wedding for late this year. However, events seemingly out of my control necessitated that I shift the wedding to February next year. Initially, she was against the shift but I pleaded with her.

Sometime in August this year, we had a disagreement because I noticed she was being disrespectful towards me. She is hardworking, cooks well and is very business oriented. But her sense of independence makes her struggle with submission to her man. I told her how uncomfortable I was with it and she's promised to make amends. She has but from time to time, her old self comes out.

I was at a loss on what to do that I had to voice out the issue to her family. When they asked her, she told them that since I requested for a shift in wedding date, she became uncomfortable with the relationship. Her family then told her to call off the relationship. I got to know about this decision and I called her and she said she was going to obey the wishes of her family. Her mom also told me that since I keep complaining about her daughters lack of respect, I should leave her daughter alone. It took serious pleading from me before the family accepted the continuing of the relationship. They asked me that since the date I initially agreed for the wedding wasn't going to be convenient for me, when then do I think will be convenient? Since I didn't want to loose my woman, I mentioned February. The desperation on my path was much.

My mom on the other hand wants a wedding in April. She has said February is not convenient for her. All my pleas have fell on deaf ears. She has threatened not to bless the union and has even gone as far as threatening to curse me with her breasts if I wed in February.

My girl has refused to even entertain the thought of shifting the date again. She maintains that it is better that we outrightly call off the wedding, than shift it again. I understand her fears. She feels that I may just be wasting her time. I am not

This is my dilemma. Should I go with my woman who has spent three years of her life with me or do I go with my mom?

I must also mention that my mom was informed of the initial date of the wedding over a year ago. But she foot dragged in her support for months until much later in the year that I now had to take issues into my own hands.

What I noticed about the op after reading.

*desperation
*immaturity
*unassertive
*lilly livered.

Please don't take any of the above listed as insult. Just work on yourself to eradicate them before you even think of getting married. February, April, 2years time, however long it takes, work on getting those vices out first.

IF U HAVE LIZ IELTS VIDEOS,CHAT ME UP ON 08038063789,I AM WILLING TO PAY TO HAVE IT.....

Cindy95:

God/Allah bless you dear... the guys are all shouting that the girl is obeying her family forgetting that the man is doing the same.
please both of you are practicing sane thing. it's not easy changing wedding dates, it looks embarrassing and childish. it's better you don't fix a date if you guys ain't ready nd before you fix a date, the two families ought to be there to deliberate on it.
you are the man, you know your woman and your family better than us, besides we just heard one side of the story.
nobody knows what the lady in question is also passing through. so please before we judge, let's put ourselves in the girls shoe. (it's better we don't fix a date rather than change it thrice and it's enough to end everything cos no one knows what will happen in April too)
please, I'm not here to judge anyone but this matter should be resolved between the two families...
nairaland just might not give you the perfect answer cos we dont know the situation.
the best advice you will ever get is the one you actually gave to yourself so please I'll advice you to do it the right way.
thanks

So u r so blind to see the bad behaviors she is exhibiting Abi... U women are too biased honestly.. Too biased