I noticed he has been exchanging calls alot with a particular number on Whatsapp. So I asked him about it and he bacame defensive. He angrily asked for me to give him back his phone, and when i refused he forcefully collected it from me, twisting my fingers in the process.

I later got my hand on his phone at a later time and was able to get the number of the person. I called and i received the shock of my life when the female who answered the call said he's her boy friend and they have been seeing for a while now. She admitted they have been having sex in a hotel, that my husband told her he isn't married.

Thank God my call recorder was on. I have the qhole conversation stored on my phone. I was very calm although my conversation with the lady, wven though it's the hardest thing i have ever had to do.

I confronted my husband and he denied it. I played the recorded call and guess what? He still denied!

We have been married for 4 years with 2 kids. I feel so devastated and awful right now not knowing which way to turn.

He's not apologizing or feeling remorseful. This is too much of a betrayal and I just don't know how we could ever get past this. I feel so betrayed and can't believe he would do this and not think of the impact it would have on me and our kids. I thought we were soulmates and would grown old together.

I have been sobbing all day since i found out.

Has anyone ever gone through this? What is the right way to handle this?


Moderator* (Please no front page. Pls i beg of you

This is what you get when you snoop around. Give me one good reason why you checked his phone when you knew you didn’t have the heart to withstand the outcome of your findings?

Right now, you shouldn’t bother your head too much about whether he’s denying or not. As long as he’s providing your needs and taking care of the family, just channel your heart and emotions to something more meaningful. As much as it hurts, it’s safe to say you shouldn’t dwell too much on it. The more you do, the more it hurts and the more it causes rifts between you two. And trust me, nagging him won’t make him stop. It’ll only make him device a more tactical means to cover his tracks.

Gratefulaheart:
I noticed he has been exchanging calls alot with a particular number on Whatsapp. So I asked him about it and he bacame defensive. He angrily asked for me to give him back his phone, and when i refused he forcefully collected it from me, twisting my fingers in the process.

I later got my hand on his phone at a later time and was able to get the number of the person. I called and i received the shock of my life when the female who answered the call said he's her boy friend and they have been seeing for a while now. She admitted they have been having sex in a hotel, that my husband told her he isn't married.

Thank God my call recorder was on. I have the qhole conversation stored on my phone. I was very calm although my conversation with the lady, wven though it's the hardest thing i have ever had to do.

I confronted my husband and he denied it. I played the recorded call and guess what? He still denied!

We have been married for 4 years with 2 kids. I feel so devastated and awful right now not knowing which way to turn.

He's not apologizing or feeling remorseful. This is too much of a betrayal and I just don't know how we could ever get past this. I feel so betrayed and can't believe he would do this and not think of the impact it would have on me and our kids. I thought we were soulmates and would grown old together.

I have been sobbing all day since i found out.

Has anyone ever gone through this? What is the right way to handle this?


Moderator* (Please no front page. Pls i beg of you

He is a goat
He won't even admit it.I hope you have a well paying job.Find something that makes you happy and enjoy doing it.
Your joy should come from within,thank God you have kids.
If you are the main breadwinner please send him to his mother's house to grow sense

StPete:
This is what you get when you snoop around. Give me one good reason why you checked his phone when you knew you didn’t have the heart to withstand the outcome of your findings?

Right now, you shouldn’t bother your head too much about whether he’s denying or not. As long as he’s providing your needs and taking care of the family, just channel your heart and emotions to something more meaningful. As much as it hurts, it’s safe to say you shouldn’t dwell too much on it. The more you do, the more it hurts and the more it causes rifts between you two. And trust me, nagging him won’t make him stop. It’ll only make him device a more tactical means to cover his tracks.

I really would have love to insults you but imma keep my mouth shut for now. What do you mean by what you get snooping through his phone, who is she to him? His fffuckking wife. She has every right to know what is going on with her husband. What If the man infected her with STD or STI or something worse than that? Madam I feel so sorry for what you are going through right now. Also his inability to apologized and make come to his senses. I hate to say this, but you should tell his mum or dad. A man like that will never change, the fact that my wife knows I cheated and I still act like I did nothing wrong? That means I have no value for my wife. Madam, you need to make few changes in your life, if you have a job, focus , take care of your kids, your house is divided and the head of the house ain't ready to fix it. I know how sad you are right now, trust and betray are two worse things to live it. Give your husband SPACE to continue fooling himself, mhen I know its hurt a lot. Some men eh.

Well. He has to come clean
If he doesn't call a family meeting on him
Don't nag or throw tantrums. That's what he wants to see
You guys can both still grow old together. It's just a temporary irresponsible behaviour
Insist on a current hiv test from him.
Be d wife you have always been..but very calm now
If you have been a housewife or adding weight like a balloon. Get your a game on..
Don't give him a soft landing If he doesn't apologize and stop
Be wise sister pls. You can always check his phone...if he can check your private part, his phone is not off limits
Above all, pray for God to give you wisdom to know what to do and keep your home
Stop crying!!!
Rise above the pain
You can do it

I have been cheated on . although not marriage , but dating. I left when I found out. if it was marriage , I still would have left. you know why ? I can't bear been cheated upon and get to let you touch me again. so if i were you, i'll leave , maybe not divorce yet, but separation and see how things go. but then , don't take my words.
a guy up there asked you to ignore, get involve in something else and woman up! how easy will that be for you to handle emotionally? like acting like it never happen ? that's dead sentence for you. you will rot in silence and your husband will go on cheating; doing it tactically, worse still, become open and arrogant about his cheating life.
is all up to you to sit, think and decide what your emotions can suitably handle. go through everyone's advice , but be careful what you settle for. you know where it hurts.

last straw: if you are financially depending on him, please get something doing. you will need your own finance soon. good luck!

StPete:
This is what you get when you snoop around. Give me one good reason why you checked his phone when you knew you didn’t have the heart to withstand the outcome of your findings?

Right now, you shouldn’t bother your head too much about whether he’s denying or not. As long as he’s providing your needs and taking care of the family, just channel your heart and emotions to something more meaningful. As much as it hurts, it’s safe to say you shouldn’t dwell too much on it. The more you do, the more it hurts and the more it causes rifts between you two. And trust me, nagging him won’t make him stop. It’ll only make him device a more tactical means to cover his tracks.

Madam, according to the above analogy, get yourself a side boo. Preferably one with a bigger dickk than ur community pennis horseband.

One who splurge on you anyhow.... in the meantime, dont relent with your wifey duties. As oga is providing for the house, continue cooking and cleaning the home.
Lock your phone and font share thd password
When he calls his side hoe, you call your side boo.
Since, its clear ftom your write up that cheating isnt a deal breaker for you, learn not to love wholly nor trust wholly.....it ll help you in marriage.

[s]

StPete:
This is what you get when you snoop around. Give me one good reason why you checked his phone when you knew you didn’t have the heart to withstand the outcome of your findings?

Right now, you shouldn’t bother your head too much about whether he’s denying or not. As long as he’s providing your needs and taking care of the family, just channel your heart and emotions to something more meaningful. As much as it hurts, it’s safe to say you shouldn’t dwell too much on it. The more you do, the more it hurts and the more it causes rifts between you two. And trust me, nagging him won’t make him stop. It’ll only make him device a more tactical means to cover his tracks.

[/s]

Ok, divorce him. At least he won't cheat on you again, since you will no longer be married.

I think before marriage one has to mentally prepare themselves for the worst scenarios possible. Not like you’re expecting them to do something bad, but just understanding that human beings are flawed, nobody will reach your expectations 100% and preparing your mind for extreme disappointment. So when the storm comes, you’re not a train wreck and you won’t allow any human being to make you mentally ill/insane.

Anyways you won’t find your answer here, clearly you guys are having communication issues as your husband is refusing to confess or be transparent. I honestly think you guys need marriage counselling as there could be underlying issues that we do not know about that’s causing issues in your marriage. Try not to get too much family involved as it will make matters worse, they can be very biased and toxic. Don’t make decisions out of anger and take good care of yourself mentally and physically. Prioritise your children and give yourself peace of mind. Understand that when someone cheats on you, most times you are not the issue. So don’t beat yourself up or blame yourself just yet. You will be fine, and I believe you will get your answers through counselling. Love yourself first before anybody.

seun using his numerous Monica wants to drive traffic..
Madam picture or prove please and if all you said is true that your husband get many side babes no be only one.
Him get PhD in womanizing..and u no notice am during dating period. For him not to apologize even with evidence show say... The man need prayer, put him in prayer and think less of him for now. No run leave your home since no threat to life yet... Na una two get that house, strange woman no go chase u out...

Lastly force am make him do HIV test and other diseases wea de fly around like bird flu.

Unprotected sex with him now is very dangerous... U know men are careless when they are thinking with their third leg,he might even do it with out protection with those home breakers.

Hmm you're just like my main gf, she goes crazy over me cheating and I can't stop cause puccy too sweet. But cheating doesn't mean he don't love you. I love my girl to death but I will still play a fast one on any easy prey I come accross. And it doesn't even have to affect the relationship. Just forgive him if he's giving you the attention you crave.
Modified: she's been demoted to fvckmate, I'm single now haha

men are scum

Okoyeeebos:
[s][/s]

Nairaland will not kill me o...ur poster just got me rolling for some reason

Terryindeed:




I really would have love to insults you but imma keep my mouth shut for now. What do you mean by what you get snooping through his phone, who is she to him? His fffuckking wife. She has every right to know what is going on with her husband. What If the man infected her with STD or STI or something worse than that? Madam I feel so sorry for what you are going through right now. Also his inability to apologized and make come to his senses. I hate to say this, but you should tell his mum or dad. A man like that will never change, the fact that my wife knows I cheated and I still act like I did nothing wrong? That means I have no value for my wife. Madam, you need to make few changes in your life, if you have a job, focus , take care of your kids, your house is divided and the head of the house ain't ready to fix it. I know how sad you are right now, trust and betray are two worse things to live it. Give your husband SPACE to continue fooling himself, mhen I know its hurt a lot. Some men eh.

Insult your father not me since you don’t have sense to give your own opinion. Or since when does everyone have to agree with my own opinion?

Well,the dynamics of your marriage will influence your reaction because if it was me,everywhere go dey hot . But I don't know if u are the traditional type or you have nothing to fight him with or no one to support you knock sense into his head. Will your friends and family turn back to tell you to go beg him or say "all men are like that".

The result is that your reaction to this situation will greatly define his tendencies/willingness to cheat in the future,which is why I advise you don't give him a soft landing.For the sake of your sanity in the future.

Was there a problem lately?Not that its an excuse bit a lot of them clearly cannot communicate ,instead they go out and receive advice from crackhead freinds.

Follow ur heart though and let Jesus guide you

StPete:


Insult your father not me since you don’t have sense to give your own opinion. Or since when does everyone have to agree with my own opinion?

Sorry about that. I was moved my emotions. O have never insulted my dad in my entire life. Once again I am sorry.

My dear talk to God to change his heart.keep calm and give him chance.men love women who handle such maturely

StPete:
This is what you get when you snoop around. Give me one good reason why you checked his phone when you knew you didn’t have the heart to withstand the outcome of your findings?

Right now, you shouldn’t bother your head too much about whether he’s denying or not. As long as he’s providing your needs and taking care of the family, just channel your heart and emotions to something more meaningful. As much as it hurts, it’s safe to say you shouldn’t dwell too much on it. The more you do, the more it hurts and the more it causes rifts between you two. And trust me, nagging him won’t make him stop. It’ll only make him device a more tactical means to cover his tracks.

more wisdom to you. sincerely if you cannot handle the effects of snooping pls don't snoop.
@ op. once a man is defensive, he is hiding something. the question is to what extent do you want to know? 100% 200% or... not at all. why disturb your piece of mind to know the full details?
the sad part is that the relationship will deteriorate to a very bad level due to mistrust etc.
if you can forgive him pls do. if you can develop the mental strength to look beyond this, pls do. I might be a family lawyer but divorce is not a good option in all cases.

Fvcking retardd

StPete:
This is what you get when you snoop around. Give me one good reason why you checked his phone when you knew you didn’t have the heart to withstand the outcome of your findings?

Right now, you shouldn’t bother your head too much about whether he’s denying or not. As long as he’s providing your needs and taking care of the family, just channel your heart and emotions to something more meaningful. As much as it hurts, it’s safe to say you shouldn’t dwell too much on it. The more you do, the more it hurts and the more it causes rifts between you two. And trust me, nagging him won’t make him stop. It’ll only make him device a more tactical means to cover his tracks.

StPete:
This is what you get when you snoop around. Give me one good reason why you checked his phone when you knew you didn’t have the heart to withstand the outcome of your findings?

Right now, you shouldn’t bother your head too much about whether he’s denying or not. As long as he’s providing your needs and taking care of the family, just channel your heart and emotions to something more meaningful. As much as it hurts, it’s safe to say you shouldn’t dwell too much on it. The more you do, the more it hurts and the more it causes rifts between you two. And trust me, nagging him won’t make him stop. It’ll only make him device a more tactical means to cover his tracks.

What if it was a married woman that cheated?

dandollaz:
My dear talk to God to change his heart.keep calm and give him chance.men love women who handle such maturely

Pray for God to change his heart, what is wrong with the men on this thread?

If na woman una for don bring nail to crucify her but as na man make the woman pray.

Women are always at the receiving end

Oyindidi:
Pray for God to change his heart, what is wrong with the men on this thread?

If na woman una for don bring nail to crucify her but as na man make the woman pray.

Women are always on the receiving end

Nne that's the way our culture runs.you want her to divorce him or beat him up?

dandollaz:

Nne that's the way our culture runs.you want her to divorce him or beat him up?

No I don't support divorce, if na me I for slap am as he dey lie. No time

Ur husband strong oo. No regret? Mehn him don go far in cheating class be that.

Where are the red pant and bra crew

heaves.............

Welcome to marriage. . .

Now you are in pains, bobo is probably out chopping the sidechyk or drowning beer and peppersoup somewhere.

Better get yourself together, put on your shock absorber , believe all human are fallible, sit up and tight to sail on or sink your ship.

Reality 101. Ndo o