Kenn55:


It is obvious he has been struggling with finances and school. However, the extent to which it affected his current behavior is still to be determined

I think he unblocks you when he need to send you messages but blocks you afterwards. I think you have enough to build a case and you shouldn't worry about fake divorce documents because it helps your case to deal with him. Thank you so much for this piece of advice, I’ll give it another try by trying to see if I can persuade his family to speak up or if he can fill me on what exactly is going on with him over there, but if there if it still the same response no changes, i just hope it won’t be pushed to the extreme at the end.


I will say give him more time preferably 4 months to finish his school. I know this is difficult but you have to be seen as have done everything humanly possible to remedy the situation before you act. During this period, keep trying to communicate, talk to his parents etc. You can create new profiles and emails to reach him and see if he blocks that one too. Keep documenting the evidences .

It is possible he may realize himself and come back to you or continue in his way. If nothing happens at the end, you can decide how to deal with him.

For someone like me, I give people benefit of doubt and I'm very slow to fight, I make sure I exhaust all options and patience and then when I fight, I fight to destroy, finish and things will never remain the same for the opponent. This is because when I start, even the air we breathe and ground we match will bear me witness that I have tried.

phabulous88:


Yea you mentioned.
My question is, when did you guys get married? And when did he travel back to Canada?

Amakaoyekachi1:
The most painful part of everything is that I was left out in the dark and been worried sick. Please how best can I deal with this situation and get to the fact. Should I involve the authorities, I have been patient for more than 4months no result or anything so far. Everyone is just taking me for a fool. I went through a lot of psychological trauma as a result thinking what could have happened and I was left ghosted on

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Anndav:




Goggle " IRCC how to report fraud and abuse" the website will link you on how to report, needed documents....name, uci no , his address anyone he has ever used is good , his phone no , SIN, and pictures of the wedding and wedding certificate....and all your évidence

Hunnn think over it .. exhaust all avenue to make him retrace his steps and reset him brain tell his family and keep the evidence of all ur attempt to get through to him through them .. because ones u start anything .. it's almost impossible to stop and that will end his bogus dream ...

Canada will always have a soft spot for women

Amakaoyekachi1:
i will try and see if there is a way If we can resolve this, his family members aren’t helping matters, been to their house severally, all they said is keep praying and God will help, for how many months will I keep doing that and their son unreachable. It’s so painful, cause I am someone’s child too, at least for anything I shouldn’t be left in the dark. Do I Email IRCC myself or should I employ the services of a lawyer or Human Rights commission in Nigeria.

Amakaoyekachi1:
The most painful part of everything is that I was left out in the dark and been worried sick. Please how best can I deal with this situation and get to the fact. Should I involve the authorities, I have been patient for more than 4months no result or anything so far. Everyone is just taking me for a fool. I went through a lot of psychological trauma as a result thinking what could have happened and I was left ghosted on

Amakaoyekachi1:
i will try and see if there is a way If we can resolve this, his family members aren’t helping matters, been to their house severally, all they said is keep praying and God will help, for how many months will I keep doing that and their son unreachable. It’s so painful, cause I am someone’s child too, at least for anything I shouldn’t be left in the dark. Do I Email IRCC myself or should I employ the services of a lawyer or Human Rights commission in Nigeria.

Kenn55:


It is obvious he has been struggling with finances and school. However, the extent to which it affected his current behavior is still to be determined

I think he unblocks you when he need to send you messages but blocks you afterwards. I think you have enough to build a case and you shouldn't worry about fake divorce documents because it helps your case to deal with him.


I will say give him more time preferably 4 months to finish his school. I know this is difficult but you have to be seen as have done everything humanly possible to remedy the situation before you act. During this period, keep trying to communicate, talk to his parents etc. You can create new profiles and emails to reach him and see if he blocks that one too. Keep documenting the evidences .

It is possible he may realize himself and come back to you or continue in his way. If nothing happens at the end, you can decide how to deal with him.
.

Itzlinda:



Even if I liquidate everything, I won't be able to raise 10 million naira now.
I just clicked 28 this month, considering I have just 2 years now to reach 30, what's the best way you think I can increase my score to 470 within a year or so.
Thanks

Kenn55:


That is why I say give him more time to finish school cos once you start, the marriage is good as gone.
If by the end of the next 4 months things don't change, get a lawyer and let him present a case of hostage taking to the Canadian authorities. With the threat emails, you can claim someone has taken him hostage and has prevented you access to him.
When the authorities start investigating, the truth will come out. If he is married or in common law relationship with another woman, the question is how, when he has not divorced you.
If he is not married and he doesn't want the marriage with you, then you end it officially.
At the end of the day, any official step you take will likely end the marriage so you have to be sure that you have gotten to a stage where you are ready to end it

ednut1:
ircc does not handle marital disputes, at this point you can’t establish the real situation too. At this point start looking past this so called marriage. No be marriage be this. It is also your right to Bleep him up too, he deserves it

MayorOfEdmonton:
Hi @Kenn,
Like you correctly said, the bolded is quite extremely difficult...I'm saying this from a married person's perspective.
If for some reason I travel & I dont hear from my spouse all day...I get so worried I may have difficulty focusing on anything. I literally call everyone close to her to ensure she's fine.
So I imagine the OP has been dealing with this and more for months before coming to voice out on nairaland.

@Amakaoyekachi1
There's no need to butter the situation up...
I think one important question u sud ask urself before u decide to do anything is- "are u prepared to live with the unavoidable consequences of whichever decision u make".
If u r REALLY legally married and baba ghosted u for months(hurricane did not strike his school and cell towers close to him), plus u have a mail threatening u to leave ur husband, u have evidences of ur unsuccessful efforts to communicate with him. I honestly think u dont need an handwriting on the wall before u reach out to IRCC. You r his wife not girlfriend!!!....I still have difficulty relating sha(I stand corrected)
Like has been said he will be deported(probably in addition to a failed marriage) unless he has proofs to refute your claims upon examination. Are u willing to live with that consequence??
He likely filled single in his application, did u both agree to this Perhaps he convinced u it's the better option.
I'm sure ur parents know of the situation....what have they done so far?(In d spirit of Nigeria culture)

Ultimately the choice is urs- (i)move on with ur life and leave him to God to judge as most Nigerians do or (ii) reach out to immigration with the evidence u have- being a victim, sit back and see d beauty of western world especially in supporting women.
But as before advised....try to reach out to him telling him of ur plans...if he doesnt respond,tell his parents ur plans, if he calls ur bluff den u have given him all opportunity to come back to his senses according to Jesus at Matthew 18.
Cheers
#MyOneCent

MayorOfEdmonton:
Hi @Kenn,
Like you correctly said, the bolded is quite extremely difficult...I'm saying this from a married person's perspective.
If for some reason I travel & I dont hear from my spouse all day...I get so worried I may have difficulty focusing on anything. I literally call everyone close to her to ensure she's fine.
So I imagine the OP has been dealing with this and more for months before coming to voice out on nairaland. I have tried all Avenue before coming to Nairaland, I was even hospitalized as a result cause my Blood pressure rose, ghosted I and family no word nothing. It’s very painful to do this to someone you promised forever with and been left in the dark. Please I would really appreciate if I can get the right authorities to reach out to asides IRCC.

@Amakaoyekachi1
There's no need to butter the situation up...
I think one important question u sud ask urself before u decide to do anything is- "are u prepared to live with the unavoidable consequences of whichever decision u make".
If u r REALLY legally married and baba ghosted u for months(hurricane did not strike his school and cell towers close to him), plus u have a mail threatening u to leave ur husband, u have evidences of ur unsuccessful efforts to communicate with him. I honestly think u dont need an handwriting on the wall before u reach out to IRCC. You r his wife not girlfriend!!!....I still have difficulty relating sha(I stand corrected)
Like has been said he will be deported(probably in addition to a failed marriage) unless he has proofs to refute your claims upon examination. Are u willing to live with that consequence??
He likely filled single in his application, did u both agree to this Perhaps he convinced u it's the better option.
I'm sure ur parents know of the situation....what have they done so far?(In d spirit of Nigeria culture)

Ultimately the choice is urs- (i)move on with ur life and leave him to God to judge as most Nigerians do or (ii) reach out to immigration with the evidence u have- being a victim, sit back and see d beauty of western world especially in supporting women.
But as before advised....try to reach out to him telling him of ur plans...if he doesnt respond,tell his parents ur plans, if he calls ur bluff den u have given him all opportunity to come back to his senses according to Jesus at Matthew 18.
Cheers
#MyOneCent

Anndav:



Any which way ....it will be effective...Canada does not want to hear fraud...expecially from someone who wants to migrate .

Some people can be insensitive
Does he think Canada is like samosa forest where you can disappear into
They will fish him out soon
I just hope he can respond before u take any step...
Oyo will be his case o

Amakaoyekachi1:
Thank you so much for your advice, please i need information on the appropriate Canadian authorities I can reach out to asides IRCC, do I have to email them myself or my lawyer should do that?

ednut1:
like I have said earlier what exactly do you think they can do When you don't know the real facts. What if they even investigate for you and find out he is not married to the lady, they can't force him to communicate or come back to you. Inform your family make una go meet his family to resolve the matter, the marriage in my opinion is over.

Amakaoyekachi1:
But having another lover, while been legally married is Adultery right? And that’s a crime. It won’t be bad if investigations start to get to the bottom of the matter, I might be right or wrong but it would help. I have evidences of my marriage to him and also mails, having a lover while been married is a crime, also emotional trauma that it has caused me as a result of been ghosted. I don’t think there will be any harm trying, at least to get to the root of the matter. I’m human also and I have blood in my veins.

Amakaoyekachi1:
Please Canadian authorities I can reach out to asides IRCC that can help with the situation on ground.

ednut1:
adultery is not a crime in canada, can only be used as a ground for divorce. Divorce is not a criminal process too.

Anndav:


Yes.... At least she would know where she stands
Sometimes the best therapy for healing is the truth it help one find closure and help healing
Dis truma Can cause mental breakdown

ednut1:
adultery is not a crime in canada, can only be used as a ground for divorce. Divorce is not a criminal process too.

ednut1:
like I have said earlier what exactly do you think they can do When you don't know the real facts. What if they even investigate for you and find out he is not married to the lady, they can't force him to communicate or come back to you. Inform your family make una go meet his family to resolve the matter, the marriage in my opinion is over.

ednut1:
true, I don't know what people gain in damaging other people. The guy will regret his stupid actions last last.

ednut1:
like I have said earlier what exactly do you think they can do When you don't know the real facts. What if they even investigate for you and find out he is not married to the lady, they can't force him to communicate or come back to you. Inform your family make una go meet his family to resolve the matter, the marriage in my opinion is over.

Anndav:



Honestly as Africans that should be the best option

Every other step should be after reconsolidation has failed

But if all she accused him of is true that guy needs to be dealt with according to the law

I have children of marriageable age and I have had to settle a lot of marital issue
I am always on the side of reconsolidation even in the case of adultatlry or children outside wedlock

Kenn55:


I get ya point. However, I'm of the opinion that getting to the root of the matter would be better for her. Remember that the guys family are claiming they have not heard from their son. It takes 2 people to dissolve a marriage. My advice to her will be to exercise a little more patience to see if he comes back to his senses.

If the investigation finds that the guy is not married to any lady there,then the implication is that he does not want his marriage anymore. Then he can agree to a dissolution of the marriage instead of using this wicked tactics to leave the marriage.

Like you said, the marriage is over but it has to be officially over which will require the consent and agreement of the parties involved

I don't understand how people can't be bold enough to take decisions. Marriage is not by force. If after 2 days of marriage, you no longer want it, then be bold and say so. No court can ever force 2 people to stay married. Instead, I see people trying to dissolve their marriage indirectly when they can do it straightforward.

Amakaoyekachi1:
I was hospitalized for a month, just recovering, thank God for my family( I was suicidal at some point) I look like a shadow of myself, lost so much weight and my glow, had seizures. Please I don’t want to suffer in vein

Anndav:



Honestly as Africans that should be the best option

Every other step should be after reconsolidation has failed

But if all she accused him of is true that guy needs to be dealt with according to the law

I have children of marriageable age....I really saddening me and I have had to settle a lot of marital issue
I am always on the side of reconsolidation even in the case of adultatlry or children outside wedlock

In forgiveness honestly and genuine repentance will be the first thing from the man

These style of abandoning the woman without any emotion is becoming very common in the name of ,. Japa . ..as it's commonly said

Anndav:



Please be strong
The present day Nigeria can only be survived if you are a strong woman
Lily livered woman cannot survive
Honestly be prayerfully and strong dump that big baby style ...it will not get you anywhere be a woman with a man's heart " it's a man's world " so be one in ur emotional strength and mind
That is why I have been able to survive as a woman , wife and mother....ask your mother to tell you the truth