NaijaRoyalty:


And if you later have problem that only them got solutions to, will you run back to them for help?

How can only the parents have the solution when they are not God?

Barney11:
The first girl I met is from Imo state,very beautiful in and out but hot tempered,though I knew how to calm her down then because we loved ourselves very much,the day I brought her home,my dad(RIP) was listening to me,after I finished talking he only told her welcome and we should make sure we keep her comfortable and he left to his room,when ever my dad didn't talk much know that he wasn't interested,it is my mum that will talk on his behalf ,well my mom kept her comfy but couldn't convince my dad,so I broke the news to her later that we can't move on,without saying anything,my dad told me that the marriage won't work because our temper were the same,I asked him how he told me nothing but He can't bury me first.That was my old man talking in riddles,well after broken TV and the rest,we parted ways though I still loved her then but I have met the best who is my wife and we are very happy and she is homely too which is number one thing to search for when looking for a wife.When you marry after like 5years you will see that it is entirely different from ordinary relationship,you will see that the marriage bond extends to outside your nuclear home,but all the same parents differs but it is best to walk away when there is a genuine reason to,like almost all the members of the family kicked against it.

any where I catch u..I go give u one chilled origin

It is proper to have parental consent before marriage but sometimes our parents might not have any concrete of personal issue against the person. Some will be be like don't marry from this tribe, state, religion or denomination because of what had been heard or rumored about. As far as I'm concerned that is not enough. If your parents after consultations and interaction with the proposed family, relatives and friends and is against the union, there is 85% chance there is problem somewhere and I will advice you not to go further. Marriage is not just about the couples, it still involves both families so be wise when you feel they can be ignored. My humble opinion.

LynnnCHI:


Na real gamble jare.Marriage be like alcohol, sometimes you get high and sometimes you're sober.

How can you lose in your gambling, if you put God right in the center and middle of all your affairs? Aha!
Because many people wish to marry for SEXUAL and material reasons only. They totally push God out of their marriage, then expect wonders to happen.

Ghostmode2two:
You better stop that marriage if you wants to enjoy your marriage and live long. What an elder can see why sitting down a child cannot see it even if the child climbs the highest mountains.

Did you get ur parents consent the first time you had sex too?

PeacenLove2:


Yes, 99% of the time, it's always the proposed groom side that rejects the bride to be. Parents just seem to assume a position of power to Make or Mar when it comes to accepting the women. Fact! 99% of the time, the reasons are not sensible.

They now turn the woman into an object to be tested, analysed, some even to the extent of ridicule just to see if she will ever be good enough. Such madness. Sadly it's mostly the moms, sisters and aunts that orchestrate this ... maybe to make sure other women become as sad as they are I don't know.

A grown ass man, who commands a certain level of respect from home cannot take a woman home and they will tell him they can't accept for some flimsy excuse.

As a man, one should know who he is, who he wants, what he wants and where he intends to go.

Marriage is of God. Everywhere the devil senses a possibility, he begins to look for vessels to use to destroy it. Anybody could be this vessel. Anybody.

I advise a lot of patience but OP need to start carrying himself with such grace that his parents can know he will be nobody's fool.

Yes!Such validation usually arose from the females in the family.Its only desperate girls that will pretend not to notice such unhealthy validation all to answer Mrs.I careless.

Like you pointed,it depends how they see their son.The caliber of son they have determine what aspect of respect they will give to whoever he has chosen.A bread winner who has got financial/ intellectual dignity needs nobody validation.

uuzba:

How can you lose in your gambling, if you put God right in the center and middle of all your affairs? Aha!
Because many people wish to marry for SEXUAL and material reasons only. They totally push God out of their marriage, then expect wonders to happen.

Ur calling God, but throwing away the parents.

Ma guy, your parents are the God u see on earth.

LynnnCHI:


Yes!Such validation usually arose from the females in the family.Its only desperate girls that will pretend not to notice such unhealthy validation all to answer Mrs.I careless.

Like you pointed,it depends how they see their son.The caliber of son they have determine what aspect of respect they will give to whoever he has chosen[b].A bread winner who has got financial/ intellectual dignity needs nobody validation[/b].

This is what I tell people.

uuzba:

How can you lose in your gambling, if you put God right in the center and middle of all your affairs? Aha!
Because many people wish to marry for SEXUAL and material reasons only. They totally push God out of their marriage, then expect wonders to happen.

When I mean gamble,it's like saying what ever the situation one should make the best out of it.One cannot rule out the importance money in marriage as you won't take care of a family with an empty account.But then management here is the key....I like to cut my coat according to my material.

Please sex is also important ooooo.To avoid masturbating after a seeming "romp" trust me!It's not a good feeling to still feel unsatisfied after love making.

God is the utimate key.Thats why one should put him first before embarking on the journey of marriage

Moneystopnonsen:
Married against my mother's wish. She never liked my wife when she was babe then in school, simply because she says I give her attention too much more than i give to her.

Fast forward to after 8years of dating her, mum complained about how can i be stuck with one girl when guys where frolicking about.

After Nysc i started planning marriage, mum actually arranged her friends daughter for me, she was hot, but me i overlooked her because I was hell bent on been opposite of what my father was.

3 years ago i married my wife, mum only came for the traditional. She gave me plenty condition for my white and i was like why will my own mum want to sabotage my life simply bcoz of jealosy. Because of her I didn't do white wedding. I went to the registry and married my wife.

Today I have 2 kids and my wife is my back bone, mum still detest her and is pretending, I have made it clear to her you can't love me, love the kids she gave you and dislike her.

Recently she went as far as smearing my wife's image To my younger brothers who are not in Nigeria, I wonder what she wants to gain. So am paying her back with no access to me at all. Until she retraces her step.

If u notice I didn't talk about my dad, he is alive, his an old arse hole for university of Ibadan females both students and hostel female staff, he can gift u a car just to lay u.

Mum is just a control freak. She has lived her marital life yet wants to live another through me, but kole work ooo

Parents can be so selfish but some people here fail to see it.

First and foremost, the fact that a person wants to get married means you are an adult. At that point, a parent does not have the right to pick a spouse or blatantly refuse one.

alexistaiwo:
It depends on the kind of person you are.

If you are a mummy's boy, e don be for you be that.

My own parents can never object to any marriage proposal of mine because they know that getting them involved is just a formality.
I will go ahead and do what's on my mind like I have always done since childhood.


If it backfires, well, we learn everyday.

OMO IYA MI!!!!

WASERE!



Fvuk it!

What is marriage ?

We lose our life savings to Alabi every weekend




If we pick the right person good, if not fvck it!!

Cook 10 odds make i nack am 1k.

If e green i send 2k sharpaly..

hammerFC:


Ur calling God, but throwing away the parents.

Ma guy, your parents are the God u see on earth.

He who findeth a wife findth a good thing and as obtain favor from GOD

LynnnCHI:


He who findeth a wife findth a good thing and as obtain favor from GOD

Clever pants... I can't argue with dat...

hammerFC:


Ok, let us look at it from this perspective, u are a parent, or a mother.

How will u like your child not even listening to your contributions about their marriage?

Parents have a rough idea of wat their future inlaw should be. They dream too about who u marry.

The most important thing is that I aired my contribution.Acting on it is entirely his choice.Na grand pikin I dey sit down wait so I go tie gele come naming ceremony

drmikeadams:
. People don't change....no think am

Tau...if you say so!

hammerFC:



Clever pants... I can't argue with dat...

Na her wahala be that one.


The thread was about my family's consent not my partner's.

Willie2015:


Alexistaiwo

You know nothing.......

U will be surprised when the girls parent tell you that you cant marry their daughter....

Moneystopnonsen:
It's a fruitless idea trying to win her over because she has done that and believe me when a mother's son tells you it's of no use.

You see when I had my first baby, wife did CS, mum came and almost wrecked my home, in fact she verbally insulted my wife and called her a fool, that she gave birth to me for her.

I thought I could manage it but things got worse I had to tell her to go.

Now that I have my second baby, she just hear am for news, guilty conscience won't even let her tell me she wants to come. Because it will be a no from me

This is seriously serious.Youre a strong man,no doubt.

LynnnCHI:

The most important thing is that I aired my contribution.Acting on it is entirely his choice.Na grand pikin I dey sit down wait so I go tie gele come naming ceremony

There is an obligation to honour ur parents with your marriage.

Ur choice has to be pleasing to them.

Dont use it to cause them discomfort.

They should be happy along with you.

Carry them along...

drmikeadams:
any where I catch u..I go give u one chilled origin

thanks bro.

olumyde:
Before creating this topic, I tried to search nairaland to see if there's something like this but I couldn't find. The closest I saw were advices on how to go about things when your parents object to your marital decision.

I am currently at a crossroad in my marital decision. My mother does not want me to marry my fiance because of her mother's behaviour.

This is not a unique issue and I know many people have faced something like that in the past.

I know all the advices but what I want to know experience of people who have gone ahead despite their parents' disapproval.

If you have gotten married without your parents' consent, what was your experience? Can you kindly share, so everyone can learn?

Never settle down with a lady that has a bad in law, you'll regret it!

NwaliE01:
The heat in marriage is too much for any man to bear alone.
Don't disobey your parent's advise because in marriage, you need a family in your immediate home/family.

Your mum's advise may safe your neck in the future which you might not see now due to blinded love.

Think, think and think again before you go about it your own way.

In marriage, the person you need is God and your spouse. Family advice and interference is not necessary.

My parents are late and my father in-law too. And my mum inlaw is busy with all her kids and hardly has time and does not believe in interfering except she is asked.

What I have noticed about people from my side is that parents allow you to be independent and mind your family.

LynnnCHI:

Proverbs 4:1 ►
Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.

Giantslayer:
I'll share an experience my elder brother had going against father's instructions.

My elder brother had child out of wedlock with a lady from Ikeduru, IMO state but the lady grew up in Owerri. When he brought her to see my parents in abuja, my parents didn't like her attitudes and they made it known to him.

I could remember father telling my brother to cut every ties with the lady because he won't succeed nor live long with a woman as such. Father explained his decision and gave instances to buttress his points, but my elder brother went ahead to marry the girl.

Few years down the lane, father became an umpire to the couples each time they had a fight. He still remained my brother his advice few years ago. Father died a disappointed man seeing how miserable his oldest son became for not listening to him.

It's been 5 years father died yet, the marriage has never been peaceful. My brother became a shadow of his old self. A broke man who can no longer afford to look after himself and his family. He went from grace to grass, filled with regrets.

I pray he gets it right and God forgives him

Your bro's issue is not necessarily parental consent. Your bro saw these things too but still decided to go ahead for whatever reason. There are some things that we don't even need our parents to tell us. We should know.

@LynnnCHI:


my own bible verse

luminouz:

Lol...
I KNOW UR DAD...VERY WELL IN FACT!!!

Chai! My ears are itching...I went to UI too. I have been cracking my brain

hammerFC:


There is an obligation to honour ur parents with your marriage.

Ur choice has to be pleasing to them.

Dont use it to cause them discomfort.

They should be happy along with you.

Carry them along...

Your choice must not be pleasing to them.Your choice is a choice given to you as an individual in this world.In this thing called life,it's an individual race...
God knows the importance of the happiness of children that's why in Psalms he pointed out that children are "heritage of the LORD;the fruit of the womb is his reward.They shouldn't don't provoke God's gift to anger because they want to enjoy their lives and then start living that of their kids...

The idea of both verses coming right after the other is for God to teach us that there must be tolerance and establishment of boundaries.There must be an understanding.Look, sometimes many parents are the cause of their own misfortune.Not all old people are wise and not all young are FOOLISH.King Solomon is the wisest king in the Bible but was a very young man.

Parents blessings are important,but they are still not GOD.He has the final say.

One of my elder brother married a lady my parents advised against, and today they are divorced, op listen to your parents if they have strong reason, don't let all these Liar Mohammed wannabes on Nairaland deceive you oh, listen to your parents o, hmmm

LynnnCHI:



Your choice must not be pleasing to them.Your choice is a choice given to you as an individual in this world.In this thing called life,it's an individual race...
God knows the importance of the happiness of children that's why in Psalms he pointed out that children are "heritage of the LORD;the fruit of the womb is his reward.You don't provoke God's gift to anger because they want to enjoy their lives and then start living yours...

The idea of both verses come right after the other is for God to teach us that there must be tolerance and establishment of boundaries.There must be an understanding.Look, sometimes many parents are the cause of their own misfortune.Not all old people are wise and not all young are FOOLISH.King Solomon is the wisest king in the Bible but was a very young man.

Parents blessings are important,but they are still not GOD.He had the final saym

Not very convincing quote, find another one, like your earlier proverb 18:22...

hammerFC:


Proverbs 4:1 ►
Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.

Listen is different from carrying it out.Is that not what ears are made for?

Sometimes my mom tells me to eat poo,do I go about looking for poo to eat?

Tallesty1:
No experience so I will be sharing my senior brother's experience.


Dude came home one day with one tall bae like that from Anambra.


He called the fam together and introduced her as the girl he will marry, Oh Boy.... My old man no even let him finish before he provoke.


He said it ain't happening, that all his kids will marry from my state.

Mumsy calmed him but she sef no support the thing.

Later that night(after the girl don go) he(dad) called us together and started giving reason why we should not marry from another state.

My bro told him that he and the girl don tey so he no fit leave am like that.

I told them to let him marry whoever he likes after all nah he go live with am.


But the reason I supported him be say me sef dey date one girl from Anambra that time.

Mumsy later gree but palee refused so with mom's support, we do strong head go marry her.


To cut the story short, the lady is my dad's favorite daughter in law till today and they're happily married with 4 kids.

2 boys and 2 girls.

Bro, abeg come collect banga soup with river cat fish, sama am with starch and wash am.with gulder.

hammerFC:



Not very convincing quote, find another one, like your earlier proverb 18:22...

Leave me jare...

Ok let me Google some