iice:

It depends on how she feels towards the child. Maybe at the beginning its going to be hard to separate her anger towards her sister/husband and her feelings towards the child. Complicated family dynamics. The child could still be raised by the sister and be part of the family

~Sissy~:

Dear Agatha,



I am in a very hot soup and what is happening to me appears to be like a story from a movie. I am still hoping to wake up from this nightmare. I have gone to several places to seek help including a radio programme, but my problem persists. And with each day, it becomes more complex and too confusing for me to handle.

I don’t know where to start or how to solve this problem facing me in my marriage. My husband impregnated my sister. After her Youth Service, she requested to come over to Lagos to stay with me. My mother didn’t particularly like the idea of her coming living with me in my matrimonial home, but being my sister and one I like very much, I overruled my mother.

It didn’t end my mother’s concern as she kept calling my sister to behave herself without causing troubles for me in my marriage. Curious to know why mother was always cautioning her against causing problems for me, she just laughed over the matter and dismissed mother as being paranoid. Since I didn’t really grow with them, I have lived all my life in boarding schools outside the country. I know very little

I honestly didn’t have any reason to suspect she was having an affair with my husband until I noticed she was pregnant. Not that she told me about her pregnancy, I chanced on her antenatal card and asked if she was pregnant. She told me yes and when I asked her who the man was since I noticed she had one or two men always around her. She told me the owner of the pregnancy is someone I know and who I would approve of.

Bothered that my husband may not like the situation of her staying in his house with a pregnancy. I told my sister to hasten the process of bringing the man home to meet my husband to avoid problems for me in my own home.

To my surprise she told me not to worry about my husband that he wouldn’t mind, because the owner of the pregnancy is like a twin brother to him. Her attitude was at that point beginning to irritate me so I decided to inform my husband myself about the development. I had expected him to be enraged with anger, but he instead broke down in tears begging me to forgive him. [b]That my sister practically despoiled him on one of those Saturdays I went out.[/b]

He said he has been begging her to abort the child when she came to inform him of the pregnancy but my sister says she cannot afford to go through an abortion again. According to him he has done everything to erase the incident but my sister appears determined to hurt me for a reason he doesn’t understand. To demonstrate his helplessness, he even went to the extent of buying her a ticket to travel abroad to save me the pains of knowing that she is carrying his baby.

As if wasn’t enough shock for me, when I confronted my sister, she told me its her turn to pay me back for having everything she has always desired as a child. She said whereas, our parents made her stay in Nigeria, I was given the opportunity to school abroad. For the first time I experienced real hatred from the eyes of the person I love with all my heart.

My parents especially my mother is devastated by what my sister has done. She is currently on admission for high blood pressure. My father and the rest of the family have disowned my sister just as my in-laws too have also disowned the pregnancy. My husband is sending everybody to beg me to forgive him, but my sister remains adamant despite pressures from everyone that she terminates the pregnancy.

Agatha, I have always trusted my husband and know that he would not deliberately do anything to hurt me, but how can I share him with my sister or explain to my children that their cousin is actually their father’s child? All his friends are also united in my favour. He went as far as getting his managing director to come and beg me to forgive him. I am really confused. I have known my husband for over 18 years and never has he once betrayed me even when he had all the excuses to.

Should I quit or remain and fight for the man I really love?

IyaBasira:


She practically despoiled him??
Ummmm . . . seriously?
I guess it all depends on body mass.

Ujujoan:

LOL

I think the man will do well to take some responsibility here. How could one young lady despoil him? How is that even possible to begin with? Did she drug him, tie him to a bed and hold a gun to his head?

He slept with his wife's sister without protection and got her pregnant. I'd say 50% of the fault is his.

IyaBasira:


Exactly.
I'm not even going to talk abt the sister cos she ain't worth mentioning here.
HE is the issue. cos She isnt married to her sister, is she?

That my sister practically despoiled him on one of those Saturdays I went out.

~Sissy~:

of course the man is doing all he can to cover his azz up, despoil, seduce etc are all part of the coverup plan. why didnt he even tell the wife earlier if he was so remorseful and knew fully well that the sister wasnt going to keep "quite" afterall?

Because he was still being hopeful that the sister would have the abortion, or meteor will hit or something will happen. People are usually optimistic when it comes to some miraculous help. You should hear them pray

Not disputing that he isn't at fault. He already has the consequence happening to him.
But relatives like her are ewww and people tolerate that for the 'blood thingie thingie'.

~Sissy~:

i dont doubt it. its quite possible even with such ridiculous sounding reasons. some people regardless of ties are pure wicked and think no good of their fellow man. and some do take the sibling rivalry to the upper next level. and knowing how the sister must have felt about her big sis, possibly being liked by everyone, preferred by their parents, sent to the best schools, married the 'best' man etc are quite reason enough to trigger her kind of person. and things like this do happen but it goes down in the 'archives of the family secrets' and are rarely heard in public as such.