Satan66:

You're a fool.
If a man were to say "Hello" to the average Nigerian woman slippers and baggy trousers with a Nokia phone the woman would immediately snub him.
You women want the attracted and spoiled like the gold diggers you all are.
Simple as that.

phorget:


A popular saying goes does" when a man is successful he goes after women but when a woman is successful she feels that she doesn't need a man"

phorget:


A popular saying goes does" when a man is successful he goes after women but when a woman is successful she feels that she doesn't need a man"
It is the duty of a man to look averagely presentable before approaching a woman unless you'll admit it that you yourself would give a listening ear to someone who dresses like a madt man. Most independent ladies don't see a reason for a man,they tend to be too arrogant and morally decayed that you'll start to wonder if they ever ever uses the ladies.


How many time have you offered to take a man out without him been the one to do the spending?

ubunja:
so sad. For men still hopping to marry. Now the only sensible thing is to fvck and never commit. Coz as long as Instagram and Facebook exist she is not really yours. She is always looking...

abdeiz:
Our psyche is moulded by the immediate surrounding socio-economic factors.

Who wants to suffer any more? For guys it's a lady who would give them peace of mind and won't cheat, the issue of spending on her is variable because some don't mind spending. And for ladies is a man she can show off with and who is willing to spend on her.

That's just the Nigerian situation. Lemme not venture into how we came to this point but it's what it currently. Deal with it.

PrimadonnaO:
I'll try to be very objective here.

I know there are dumbos, but no sensible girl chooses a man who's got money and nothing else tangible in the mix.
The fact, however, is that women like comfort and luxury... by default. So, in looking for a man to be with, they just can't help but be concerned if he can secure her comfortability...they like to know he's paces ahead of where they are. It's never really money in exclusion of other things. Material things might be secondary, but it can't be left out. If you've got money and you don't have sense or right values, we can't get married. I want kind, thougtful, intelligent, good sense of humour, responsible... but don't be broke! Have a job, potential for growth, and a place to call your own. That's the barest minimum. Anything short of these, nahh, I'm not interested.

If you say that's materialistic, then that's your business.

ednut1:
That is why they keep getting bleeped and dumped. If u have nothing to offer urself that is what awaits u most times.

Omoge87:
Dear OP.

I don’t really understand this philosophy myself. I am a Nigerian lady. I currently work, I bought and drive my own car. Have almost completed my MSc which I paid for myself. My point being as a Nigerian lady I have never cared about what material thing a guy has. What girls think a guy can provide for them- they can actually provide for themselves if they work hard.

I have only been in two relationships in my life - but in those relationships I never cared about anything material. I cared about their long term vision and goals etc... I remember my first ex didn’t drive. I am the one that would drop him home after church etc.. When they had a need I would help. When I had need they would offer to help and I would politely decline - if it was monetary - simply cos I don’t want any guy to be saying he did xyz for me. Also I noticed Nigerian men associate helping their girlfriends with sex - so far as they are gifting you and giving you money they expect sex in return and as I am not a prostitute - I decline such things. I would rather ask my parents if I had any monetary needs. I don’t believe boyfriend should become your driver or your bank when courtship and vice versa. When you are husband and wife - then yes I can accept financial assistance from my husband - but not boyfriend. Why should a boyfriend be paying my fees or rent? I just don’t understand it at all. A girl should learn to be self - sufficient - when she has her own she won’t care if a guy has BMW or plenty money. She will rather want someone who is compatible with her vision and life long goals.

Bottom line my philosophy is if a girl works hard she won’t have to rely on a man for anything- she will not care if he has a car or money as her first port of call. She will be interested in - does he have a Job, is he a Christian, family background etc... because she wants someone likeminded and compatible with her also.

I think it is laziness that makes some girls want to live off a man. I just don’t understand it at all. My brain cannot comphrend the thought. There is nothing like having your own independence as a woman. I am not a feminist oooo. I just believe in hard work so you don’t have to rely on anyone or beg anyone for anything in this life.

On this same forum there was a post that asked would you rather a rich husband that cheats but provides or a poor husband that is faithful but can’t provide. I just shook my head. Why can’t one just have a hardworking husband and a hard working wife who are both faithful and provide for each other’s needs ?

Rahyberg:
It's rare to see ladies who won't depends on you for monetary assistance. I really thank God for my galfriend, she Neva ask for a dime, but I knew at least we have to b our brothers keeper.. she believe in my long term goals likewise she is also a career woman. The day I sent her ordinary #500 airtime. I receive call instantly praying like pastor T B Joshua.. Not all ladies are parasitic in nature.

MariaLavina:
If I'm to go by your "saying" then it means a man's importance/value only lies in his financial capability (money) which isn't good enough. It's time men work on themselves and priorities more.Offer more than money, it's fast becoming useless.

SyberKate:
So about 2 years ago when I was still dating my now ex I got a call from a family friend in the US, towards the end of the call she asked me if I was married yet and I said no but was dating someone and she was like "oh that's nice, what does he do" and I replied saying he's an accountant. She went on and said "wow that's great, and is he working" to which I replied yes. And she congratulated me and says "I hope it works out for you two"

Fast forward to today, I was at a Meetup with some old friends and one of my friends, lets call her ladyA was trying to hook up another of our friends ladyB who was single.

So ladyA says to ladyB that she has this friend who is single and searching and she believes ladyB will like him. The first thing ladyB says is "him get money" and I was shocked. Him get money, seriously that's the only thing that concerns you. You don't care if he has a job or a career, or a Christian or Muslim. If from a good family background you didn't ask any of that. But it didn't end there, so I forgot to mention we are 4 in ladies in this Meetup. So the forth lady, I'll call her ladyC now cuts in and says "what car does he drive? because me too I'm interested"

And I started doing some maths, we are 4 in a group and 2 of them only cared about material things to mortivate them to date a guy, that's 50%. Is that 50 percent or even more of Nigeria ladies think this way.

Now compare this to what I said in the beginning, my family friend in the US only cared about my guy potential, what he does.

I think I have said enough for now so my question is Nigerian ladies why don't you care about the guys with potential anymore?
Why do you think so much about material things and not what are more important.

The floor is open, oya start dropping your comments or excuses

DanDeeBoss:
Op, Lol.... No wonder they keep falling into traps, if you wanna easily get a Nigerian lady ,just get a car and flash money, and Dazol..... Na una do unaselves... Some ladies don't hustle anything ,by their comments you shall know them ,all they know is "have you sent it"??

pacifik:


And that's the problem with our country, we're always praying... Even the Bible says that " God shall bless the works of our hands"... If I keep on praying without working then how will the riches come... Even in the Bible men like David, Solomon and Abraham compromised at some point in their walk with God just to survive...
.
.
My Brother when you find yourself in a country like this one, a country where "survival of the fittest" is the watch word then you've got to wisen up..
.
.
You talk about legal means of obtaining wealth, the word legal is outdated in the Nigerian parlance, it's only effective in the dictionary.... Even your president doesn't make legal decisions anymore... It's a lawless nation where you have to get lawless to survive...

SyberKate:

He left me

Paxie55:
The way poor and lazy guys always make it sound as if asking and having a monetary standard should be abolished.

A woman will offer to give birth, house chores, cook and all that, then contribute at least 40% financial assistant in the relationship.
Then, what is now the work of the said man of the relationship if money is the only thing you can offer.

Ladies, have a job but you see, never lower your standard.
At op, after giving him your all and all to prove that you careless about his money, did he or did he not dump You?

If a guy likes you and wanna get married to You, nothing financially will stop that, that's if he has the money.
So, I'm never listening to the rants of nl lazy broke men.

MariaLavina:
If I'm to go by your "saying" then it means a man's importance/value only lies in his financial capability (money) which isn't good enough. It's time men work on themselves and priorities more.Offer more than money, it's fast becoming useless.

MariaLavina:
Why did your relationships end? You seem like every man's dream.

wetdick:
Guys, never lower your standards. marry the best and use the gold digger for your sexual fun. if she is a gold digger, She will always be. you cant change or convinced a gold digger

Any girl that cant marry potential will be single for life and married to a vibrator. most young guys from 18-35 years are potentials, it is either you take or leave

for single ladies that want already made, go and marry you made guys.20 ladies are already fighting for his money, lets see if he will give you a chance

some Black women are never realistic. guys make those unrealistic ones single, let them go and marry in another planet

Saffi:
Out of the 7 billion people in the world, and the 185 million people in Nigeria, if a woman purposely puts herself in the dating world, does the right things she will find a man who can at least provide for her substantially. It’s just women do not understand this, but we thank God for social media and we thank God women are starting to wake up. Even if she ends up single, is that not more advisable than to become a saviour to a dirty church rat? Dey there and comfort yourself, broke boys get no love at all!

MariaLavina:
If I'm to go by your "saying" then it means a man's importance/value only lies in his financial capability (money) which isn't good enough. It's time men work on themselves and priorities more.Offer more than money, it's fast becoming useless.

ImaIma1:


Not necessarily. It is not one size fits all or same medicine for all ailments. You cannot still generalize even if more than 50% is bad. So that you will not use wife to do girlfriend or fling

DanXplore:

That’s not being materialistic by any standard. Evolutionally speaking, famales are ‘gate-keepers’ of offspring. They ensure that the environment is suitable enough for their offspring before breeding hence their natural instinct to search for the most suitable mate ( in terms of ability to provide the basic necessities). Female humans have that natural instinct too but it becomes a problem when materialism is over emphasised to the detriment of other equally viable qualities. The op is referring to the latter kind of female humans

wetdick:


if woman ends up single, she will be miserable forever, when she is old, nobody to look up to or help her, what a sad life.

if a woman cannot be realistic in finding a man then i wish her good luck in finding what she wants. anyway, she can go to social media and continue enjoying her likes in the virtual world.

the dating world is brutal, we guys want the best and we go for the best, we are selective, we want to know your past and present and if you fail the test with all the acting and doing the right things, off we go.

No man is a dirty church rat except he wants to be one, as for me i can't marry a woman that is a dirty church rat and a leech. sorry.

pacifik:


And that's the problem with our country, we're always praying... Even the Bible says that " God shall bless the works of our hands"... If I keep on praying without working then how will the riches come... Even in the Bible men like David, Solomon and Abraham compromised at some point in their walk with God just to survive...
.
.
My Brother when you find yourself in a country like this one, a country where "survival of the fittest" is the watch word then you've got to wisen up..
.
.
You talk about legal means of obtaining wealth, the word legal is outdated in the Nigerian parlance, it's only effective in the dictionary.... Even your president doesn't make legal decisions anymore... It's a lawless nation where you have to get lawless to survive...