adosjun:

Mr cork or mr prick or wat u call urself AMAKA na my gurl oo leave her alone Mr bend cork

THE AMAKA:

I'm actually far from fat. just her story and the way she is going about it is upsetting me.
why stress yourself over someone that doesnt appreciate you? thats the bottom line here.
well, she can put the wedding on hold or postpone it. Dec is so soon and they seem to have been hitting the rocks already.

tolutara:

Folly,

I completely understand where Amaka is coming from because whether she likes it or not, she will never be secure in his love for her as constantly at the back of her mind she will always be reminded that she is walking on eggshells. Several questions will always surface, when she eats a choc bar, what is he thinking?  

and like the  poster said she doesn't feel pretty anymore, Big problem because nobody's love is greater than the love you have for yourself, and verbally abusive relationship typical starts this way  as name calling typically will follow. He his already verbally abusing her actually, with his comments to her but still very subtle.

I am actually afraid for the poster. as quoted below in her OP

"But he is not satisfied with my looks. Between August last yr and this yr, we have seen 4 times and each visit, we spend quality time together. But the issue is that he keeps complaining about my weight. Everytime we chat or speak, he is always so particular about if am still on the diet and if I exercised. I have been on a diet and joined a gym. I have come down from a US size 14 to size 12.
I told him he was putting so much pressure on me and he shld stop asking me about my weight.
Before our introduction in April this yr, I asked him if he was sure it was me he wanted, he said yes but that his fear was I wld eventually look older than him.
Just last weekend, he complained that some of his friends saw  my picture and said I was fat and look older than him. He said he felt bad and that he does not want this to happen again. That I shld make sure I exercise everyday and loose the weight before November. "




Poster, Marriage is already complicated as it is without the extra drama issues like this may cause. Having said all of this, Poster, you would have look inward to decide what to do. But if it were me, I would go to counseling alone as well as with him before I make such a big decision. Wishing u well.

honeric01:

U sound like the bereaved, let her decide what she wants, when she fell in love with the guy, you weren't there, she should be able to take a stand herself, she's going to be the only one in the marriage, let her think of the whole issue, let her ask herself if she truly needs to lose weight or not.

If she does not see reasons losing weight, why is she on diet in the first place? all the same, you prayed about it before you said yes to him, now go back and pray about it, you might be surprised to hear something else from God.

honeric01:

I ain't saying you shouldn't comment or advise her, what i was about is the way you sounded in your post (very personal and bitter).

tolutara:

"ust last weekend, he complained that some of his friends saw  my picture and said I was fat and look older than him. He said he felt bad and that he does not want this to happen again. That I shld make sure I exercise everyday and loose the weight before November. "

That above statement from poster, shows her fiance has no respect for her. I cannot imagine anyone of my Hubby friends would dare make that statement or any other negative statement to my hubby about me without leaving with a smashed mouth )family included. cos he believes if i am trash, i am his trash alone and anybody else to be judged by them.

No only that his friends disrespected  his Wife-to-be, he had the audacity to come back and repeat it to her telling never to let that happen again, again those are traits of abusive behaviors.

I hope poster sees why I am concerned.