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Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee - Romance - Nairaland

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Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by XaintJoel20: 7:09pm On Feb 13, 2019
Nairalanders please help a brother to avoid future regret..

I met my current girlfriend in one of the states in the western part of Nigeria during NYSC and we were very close though we had nothing intimate between us.
After youth service we kept in touch and one thing led to another and we started a relationship, after I discovered that she was a rare breed.

She is every man's dream woman as she is supportive, understanding, loving, has foresight and very industrous and investment crazy.

The problem is that I am not emotionally attached to her. I don't want to marry her out of pity and have reasons to still being running after ladies outside,an act which will definitely bring regret and maybe shatter my dream of a blissful home.

I was thinking maybe, just maybe if we tie the knot I may come to love and b emotionally attached to her.

Please friends in the house I am in a dilemma...

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Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by delugajackson: 7:13pm On Feb 13, 2019
How can you have a woman who's every man's dream and you're not emotionally attached to her? Check yourself, you might be the problem.

Just so you know, there is nothing like "coming to love" after marriage. If there's no love from the begining, then the possibility of enjoying the marriage will be zero and such union is bound to crash at any time. You may keep basking in the euphoria of false-hope if you wish. But the truth remains that you will end up being sad, dejected and frustrated. And it's unfortunate that such a nice girl with such lovable qualities has to put up with your shìt when in reality, she deserves better.

221 Likes 13 Shares

Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by Nobody: 7:15pm On Feb 13, 2019
1 Why did you ask her out when you knew you felt no love for her?
2. Why did you go as far as proposing to her when you knew there was no love?

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Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by Headlesschicken(m): 7:20pm On Feb 13, 2019
undecided if u ain't emotionally attracted to her then i guess u should let her be,let her be,no matter how painful it may be... She ain't yuh cake to cut..

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Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by Nobody: 7:21pm On Feb 13, 2019
Dear Op,
Don't be more confused than our president.

This is a precious gift given to you freely. Use your head like Atiku.

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Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by tee59(f): 7:27pm On Feb 13, 2019
Then free the girl.

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Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by XaintJoel20: 7:28pm On Feb 13, 2019
tee59:
Then free the girl.


I would have done that long before now, but I still think she is too good to let go just like that.

I think I should tell you some few things you should know about her:
After our service year I was struggling to get a job and she advice I set up a business and helped with about 50% of the capital with which I started my current business.

When we started, she bought a large plot of land in my state and just recently developing the plot for agricultural use.

On all the occasion she has visited me in my state, she has done so with her money and also getting plenty of goodies for me and my family.

Just recently, she bought into my lifelong plan of travelling out of the country. She has put visible plan on ground for us to leave the country soon after our wedding.

The truth, is that when I think of her inbuilt qualities, I am force to believe I will be on the losing side if she falls into the hands of someone else.
That's why I said I am in a dilemma.

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Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by DanDeeBoss(m): 7:39pm On Feb 13, 2019
1.You aren't emotionally attached to her...

2.You don't wanna marry her out of pity......


How do you expect to be emotionally attached to her after wedding when you're not now?? I think you know what to do....wink

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Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by Nobody: 7:42pm On Feb 13, 2019
And by not being emotionally attached I take it you don't find her attractive anymore.. You probably have straffed her a whole lot and now you've realized that you never did love her.. Why did you propose anyway?. Well, just don't bolt into an already doomed marriage cause you're too scared to call things off..

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Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by dayleke: 8:03pm On Feb 13, 2019
ariketalks:
1 Why did you ask her out when you knew you felt no love for her?
2. Why did you go as far as proposing to her when you knew there was no love?

Maybe there was no proposal.
There are some friendships like that just "like play like play" they are talking about the future, planning a wedding, how many kids to have and bam! E don happen.

No mind me jare. The OP no know wetin e want ni.
E don see another sweet 16 out there.

But on d other hand, they are so close now that he sees her like his sister.
He sha never "taste" her before n she is every man's dream woman o. Wife material....

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by Cholls(m): 8:05pm On Feb 13, 2019
my sister eiyah!
Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by Acetin: 8:16pm On Feb 13, 2019
OP, I have been in your shoes and I do understand how you feel.
First of all, you have to do this, take out a pen and a paper and write down the good and bad qualities of this your fiancé, then if the good things are more than the bad side then I advise you stick to this lady.
Then secondly, get to understand the things you don’t find attractive about her and discuss it with her, if she is understanding like you said, then she will truly learn.
And also try and find attractiveness in those things you feel are not attractive about her.

25 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by dayleke: 8:18pm On Feb 13, 2019
Acetin:
OP, I have been in your shoes and I do understand how you feel.
First of all, you have to do this, take out a pen and a paper and write down the good and bad qualities of this your fiancé, then if the good things are more than the bad side then I advise you stick to this lady.
Then secondly, get to understand the things you don’t find attractive about her and discuss it with her, if she is understanding like you said, then she will truly learn.
And also try and find attractiveness in those things you feel are not attractive about her.

So bro, you married her?
#justaskingnio

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by tsharp(m): 8:25pm On Feb 13, 2019
Don't be stupid man. What you want is a big breasted and big assed slay queen who will kill you. You think marriage is always rosy? Someone got tired of fvcking Beyonce and cheated. You will also be tired of that type you are looking for. When that happens, what you need is all those qualities you enumerated.

Pity yourself and marry that girl and bloody well treat her right.

You don't have to marry the person you love, but you must love the person you marry. And your girlfriend is loveable.

190 Likes 14 Shares

Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by luvyaself95(m): 8:29pm On Feb 13, 2019
Acetin:
OP, I have been in your shoes and I do understand how you feel.
First of all, you have to do this, take out a pen and a paper and write down the good and bad qualities of this your fiancé, then if the good things are more than the bad side then I advise you stick to this lady.
Then secondly, get to understand the things you don’t find attractive about her and discuss it with her, if she is understanding like you said, then she will truly learn.
And also try and find attractiveness in those things you feel are not attractive about her.
Wow Man You Are So Brilliant

9 Likes

Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by Hed0nist: 8:49pm On Feb 13, 2019
There has to be something you're not telling us. Is it that She is boring? Your world views are different? Does She have bad breath? The straff no make sense? Or She just no fine?

Nigga, you just described a smart, industrious woman who is dedicated to you as a person. You also implied that she respects your family. Don't hold her hostage because of her good qualities if you're not ready to put in work. Don't also end up with someone you'll end up hating later.

I go advice you as a young Nigga coming up. Marry the babe. You guys will go places if She is as you have described. The love might develop over time. You might F around and end up faking it till you make it. She seems like who you need right now.

But bros tell us what you're holding back if any.

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Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by loadedvibes: 8:52pm On Feb 13, 2019
Dude doesn't like good girls.. lol.. dooh o

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Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by coolestofall(m): 8:56pm On Feb 13, 2019
Op I knw hw u feeling. I am currently in such delima. My head is saying hold on to her but my dick is saying smthing else.

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Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by manuel80(m): 9:11pm On Feb 13, 2019
what is that thing that always leads to another.

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Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by Hed0nist: 9:24pm On Feb 13, 2019
manuel80:
what is that thing that always leads to another.
One thing. grin

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Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by XaintJoel20: 10:26pm On Feb 13, 2019
coolestofall:
Op I knw hw u feeling. I am currently in such delima. My head is saying hold on to her but my dick is saying smthing else.

You will understand me better.

Brother, One mind is telling me to go and other is telling me to stay put.
Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by XaintJoel20: 10:32pm On Feb 13, 2019
Hed0nist:
There has to be something you're not telling us. Is it that She is boring? Your world views are different? Does She have bad breath? The straff no make sense? Or She just no fine?

Nigga, you just described a smart, industrious woman who is dedicated to you as a person. You also implied that she respects your family. Don't hold her hostage because of her good qualities if you're not ready to put in work. Don't also end up with someone you'll end up hating later.

I go advice you as a young Nigga coming up. Marry the babe. You guys will go places if She is as you have described. The love might develop over time. You might F around and end up faking it till you make it. She seems like who you need right now.

But bros tell us what you're holding back if any.

She doesn't have any of those "deformities" you listed up there.
She is better educated than myself as she has done her Msc while I am yet to further after by Bsc program.

I think it's a thing of the heart. Even when I try to fake it to make her happy, I know deep down that it's not real...

16 Likes

Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by XaintJoel20: 10:33pm On Feb 13, 2019
Hed0nist:
There has to be something you're not telling us. Is it that She is boring? Your world views are different? Does She have bad breath? The straff no make sense? Or She just no fine?

Nigga, you just described a smart, industrious woman who is dedicated to you as a person. You also implied that she respects your family. Don't hold her hostage because of her good qualities if you're not ready to put in work. Don't also end up with someone you'll end up hating later.

I go advice you as a young Nigga coming up. Marry the babe. You guys will go places if She is as you have described. The love might develop over time. You might F around and end up faking it till you make it. She seems like who you need right now.

But bros tell us what you're holding back if any.
She doesn't have any of those "deformities" you listed up there.
She is better educated than myself as she has done her Msc while I am yet to further after by Bsc program.

I think it's a thing of the heart. Even when I try to fake it to make her happy, I know deep down that it's not real...
Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by hinograce: 11:01pm On Feb 13, 2019
You can learn to love her. Everybody deserves love. If you look at life on a matured level you will realize that if someone loves u genuinely do all u can to love her back

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Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by oboy81: 11:08pm On Feb 13, 2019
Do I give a Flying Fvck! undecided

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Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by alizma: 11:09pm On Feb 13, 2019
get super glue from the nearest shop

1 Like

Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by AllenSpencer: 11:10pm On Feb 13, 2019
Use her for money rituals


You can't just lose the time and money for free.

1 Like

Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by 2gbasky22(m): 11:10pm On Feb 13, 2019
Ehyah
doh
Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by sonature1: 11:11pm On Feb 13, 2019
When two adults live in the same house, support and care for each other, chances are that they will fall madly in luv.

But u understand yourself more than anyone else. Then again, if u didn't fall in love with her all this while, u may never fall in love with her in the future.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by happney65: 11:11pm On Feb 13, 2019
Have you been fuckkking her? grin grin grin

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Re: Help! I Am Not Emotionally Attached To My Fiancee by MrMcJay(m): 11:12pm On Feb 13, 2019
Remember that stupid woman who was flashing money online and got her husband killed?

If you're not careful, na that kind woman you go still fall for.

23 Likes

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