Man must win oo, but this is tough task.... Indeed... I don't know who to choose sef

Typing

THE LORDS WORK

Aunty Uju had been quiet all evening, watching and smiling as her two ambivert best friends narrated how they had spent their covid19 lockdown period.
"Uju, you're not saying anything about your own experience during this lockdown. Gist us small na" Bukky teased.
"hmmm" exhaled Uju. Her heave drew the attention of her two friends, who now more than before, noticed her silence.
"My dear friends, i had an unforgettable Covid19 lockdown period, one i am even shy to talk about"
"Ahh uju, i knew you were saving your gist for the last, oya wow us naa" Bukky teased ones more.
Well, nothing to wow you girls jare" she said.
"I would say i spent my covid19 lockdown period running away from the lord's work"

At this point, i was sitting at the opposite table. I balanced tight and adjusted my convex lenses to catch every detail of aunty Uju's narration to her two friends. She fired on.

I spent my covid19 lockdown period with my family as everyone else. At the initial stages, i was super excited to be able to spend some quality time with my girls; especially my chubby baby girl. I was most especially fascinated by this opportunity because it was the perfect time to help her unlearn the attitude of calling me "aunty" instead of mummy. She always called me aunty because that was what the nanny called me. Being a smart girl, she picked that up quickly and in no distant time, i was the popular aunty to my own daughter. My husband had expressed his concerns over this and i assured him it was nothing serious and i would fix it with this break.

Talking about my husband; he spent the initial stages of the lockdown wailing over the lack of premier league football. He would watch old matches over and over again and would scream occasionally into the TV. Unlike me, he wasn't working remotely. All non-essential business had been declared shut for the meantime and so he remained at home mostly watching the TV, fidgeting with one of his numerous mobile devices, or giving our girls swimming lessons.

However, all these were to change soon by a singular action of mine. If only i knew, if only...

Ask me how i did it! Mummy Balikisu, our neighbour who just came back from her father's burial at Ijebu ode came visiting. She asked how we were coping with the lockdown, and i casually commented that we were so busy with the kids and things were fine. She responded that we should try to have time for ourselves, and that this was the perfect time to give Balikisu a husband. I laughed at her joke. She brought out a herb from her purse and gave it to me. She told me that it was her herbal product she was selling and it gave energy especially for men. I laughed hard but still collected it and kept somewhere among my collection of herbs.
"That'll be 500 naira ejor" she said
"Haba mummy Balikisu" I querelled "You had an opportunity to do good but decided to put a price tag on it. You just lost a good opportunity to get special blessings ooh, all because of small money." I taunted her in laughter

Some days later, i wondered what it was meant for. I read the instructions carefully and it had nothing harmful in it aside mummy Balikisu's usual herbs. My husband was in the living room playing with the girls so i served him a cup of juice laced with some drops of the herbs for a test. That was where all hell was let loose. Mummy Balikisu never told me that it was a libido enhancing herb.

A few days later, i started noticing my husband's unusually excessive romantic dispensation towards me, even in present of the kids. At first i felt it was a result of boredom but i knew this man like kilode. He was too reserved and shy to even get all sassy and flirty in public. We had our life perfectly planned out and it had really been a while when we just acted on the heat of the moment and jumped into the action. His behaviours were really funny to me but i got a bit suspicious when he started sneaking up on me even outside the house and grabbing me in a detailed manner.

Two weeks down the line and he was all over me, just everywhere and anywhere. By this time, i had already confronted Mummy Balikisu and she said she was damn serious about giving Balikisu a husband. Kosi wahala!
"Did i tell her i wanted another child?" I wondered.
I confronted my hubby about his recent excitements but he swore he was ok.
"Am very ok babym" he said. "In fact, i am a man. If i don't do this to you babym, then you should be suspicious of me na"
I tried to make him see reasons why we shouldn't be having sex more than we were usually accustomed to. I did not want to have another baby and i expressed this to him.
He laughed hard and answered;
"The Bible said we should multiply and fill the earth. So you see babym, "we are only doing the lords work"

How was i going to tell him that i laced his drink with libido enhancing herbs? That would cause a rift in our trust surely. I had always held out about mutual trust between us and had made him see me to be a woman of my own world and class. How would it sound that the "Angela Merkel" of Gowon estate had broken her husband's trust? At that moment, i had to choose between telling him the truth and breaking his trust, losing my independent, defiance woman status before him and all of Gowon estate; or keep the secret to myself and endure doing the lord's work more than i had ever bargained for.

It all culminated in the fact that my husband sent my second daughter to me one day while i was in my home office compartment answering to a meeting. My daughter did not knock neither did she gave me any sign. She was apparently in a hurry to catch up with her SpongeBob square pants programme. She barged into my room while i was in my zoom meeting and yelled abruptly.
"Mummy, mummy, daddy said you should come to the bedroom so that the both of you can do the lord's work"

I looked at her, and then back at my monitor. Gleeful faces of my colleagues stood staring at me on my dashboard.
The lord's work eh? More grease to your elbow!" my boss said after which my entire team burst into laugh.



shoutout to madam ify. i know i've written a bit above the required 600, but however, it would be an offense against inspiration not to complete this piece appropriately

Aunty UjuJoan2, (Number 3 on the list) i sight you

8.

Armyofone, a Legion to all. You'll always marvel how one could become a Legion. The regular Pa Lejoka Brown's parlance, "one man battalion" doesn't do much justice in describing this personality. The one woman legion surfing through the digital world and the Corona saturated world.

One would wonder how this Moniker spent her lockdown. Although the world is gradually picking up from the aftermath of covid lockdown, Army ofone already moved in swift flight as she understands not being infected and surviving covid is a tricky business. And indeed, she has survived, not just surviving Nigeria but moving from the Asian cities to the "Land of the Free" and down to London for some hot Amala.

Amy understands the Nigerian financial literacy in comparison with the countries she has been to. Hence, during the lockdown she encourages planning for the future. Saving and planning for the people around her in terms of making right decisions and profit wise. After all, what's the point of trading 1 if you can't earn 3?

She keys into the school of thought that Nigerians spend extravagantly once there is little money.

During the lockdown, she lays empasis on life being a game of chance and the need to take risks. She showed positive support by first acknowledging the lack of jobs and the need for employment to boost an individual's pocket financially. She opined and questioned why we sow wild oats and carry small small chicks and side chicks up and down all over the place once there is a slight financial improvement.

As schools were closed during the lockdown, she took her time to teach little ones how to ride a bike. Although her little ones doesn't have any transportation problems, she figured its good for kids to learn new things. She invested their free time in a profitable venture and bike riding may be fun but it's an admirable skill. And when her kids watch movies rated"R" with her, she explains that things they see are unreal.

Armyofo ne doesn't eat too much but she can make Akamu, peak milk and Akara every day; twice on a Tuesday and thrice on a Thursday. The army of Akamu 24/7 365

She is a big fan of quality life with a cup filled with sweet red ITALIA ROSCASTO sitted beside a plate full of well seasoned goat peppersoup. Then when the evening comes, she would have been deserting up and down with banana, cold stone, vanilla beans ice cream and some warm apples pies

Her intereste in discussing intellectual and philosophical questions that botheres on Human dignity is limitless. It wasn't only the covid19 that gave birth to these thoughts but it accelerated the questions. To her, the most important thing in life and in death is simple burials for all and not the extravaganza of killing 4 cows and 10 Buffalo with a field filled with party tents. What are you celebrating?

She spent her lockdown making sure all lines of deception painted with native and local white chalk are wiped out of her road to redemption. She is aware truth is singular and the bibile is her yardstick for those looking for God in the lockdown. She exposed thieves in sheep clothing swindling people, who out of innocence and belief pay pastoprenures. Why pay that much and let pastors use the money to eat egg, butter and jammy bread, peak milk tea, French toast and fresh fruit breakfast. While you, the one paying them "fake shiloh and Thanksgiving" eat eba and fish less soup for breakfast, akpu for lunch and tuwo and meat less soup for dinner.

Armyofone is indeed a voice of self, hope and an army of truth

SirBen90:
Number 5.

Aunty Sisisioge,

It's easy to know that she's the type of person that loves her family and would sacrifice practically anything for them. Infact it's like this is the reason why she likes family gist very well. As in ehn, once she hears issues relating to marriage and family ish, her interest is always piqued.

She has a very helpful persona and can go out of her way to assist those in need. Guess what? She actually helped her uncle to solicit for ideas on how best to celebrate his wife's 40th birthday, and she even went as far as creating a thread right here on nairaland just for this purpose.

Lest I forget, she has human sympathy;hmmn, this may be an underrated personality trait, but it actually matters alot.

Well, the COVID-19 Pandemic and the lockdown had impact on each and every one of us o. As for Sisisioge who was mostly at home, during the lockdown, she helped several friends, watched several movies, and has been growing an Instagram page for her uncle. Some of her favorite movies include NottingHill, Eyes Wide Shut (with Tom Cruise as the star act), Indecent Proposal, Koto Aiye, The Godfather, Sound of Music, etc. As for the Instagram page, the name is @Milares_Kitchen. Omo if una see the food wae dem dae cook ehn you go know say some people really get talent for this cooking fa.

I will post some pictures of their mouth-watering dishes. But the business is kinda based in Ireland, so I no go fit go taste the food as e be say I dae naija . Oya, Nigerians in Diaspora, beta dae for una o. Guys, don't forget to patronize and follow @Milares_Kitchen on Instagram. What you will witness is an amazing display of their culinary skills.


Did I mention that Sisisioge is financially savvy? Hmmn, one of her favorite pastimes is giving people free tips on how to be financially free. Infact, she once wisely advised someone to stay clear of these loan sharks that come in the form of loan apps. Hmmn, this one na better advice o. Basically, if you know you may or will not be able to repay your debt, avoid these loan apps. They can go to any extent to get their money back.

Sisisioge is Yoruba, she's a Christian, and she loves and adores children.

As a confam Lagosian, she loves the city of Lagos, and was not too happy when Sanwo-Olu banned our popularly preferred mode of transportation (Bikes and Tricycles, nah, Okada and Keke maruwa). Arrgh! That sweet breeze that blows in your face when the Okadaman (Aboki) is driving you to ur destination. But Aunty Sisisioge, to be honest with you, the govt was actually right o. Because those Aboki in Lagos ehn, they speed as if they have nine lives. The numbers of bike accidents and bike-related thefts are uncountable. But I understand the pain sha. The ban practically turned many Lagosians into a sorry bunch of trekkers. But as always, we Lagosians find a way to move forward even in the face of adversity. Yes o! Remember that lady that vexed and rode her child to school on a bicycle? It was epic.


Hmmn, Sisisioge has a huge celebrity crush on Idris Elba. Issorite. Entanglements are allowed .

Well, what else did Sisisioge do during the lockdown..... she fixed her noisy fan, fixed her stiff gas ignition, and fixed her loose doorknob, all by herself. She also started a virtual project co-ordination gig and read quite a number of PM books. Nowadays, she only remembers her online diary on her birthday (May 6th ). On a final note, her favourite colours are yellow, red and white, and she loves techno phones.


You must be an intriguing person @ Sisisioge.

Madam Ifyalways, Thanks for your unending generosity.

Below are pictures of some dishes by @Milares_Kitchen.

Awwww....I find this very entertaining! Well done! Let me go back and read the rules before further typing

ifyalways:
Sorry guys, i had an impromptu but minor surgery so i took some time off to heal.

Lets have some fun now.

May the good lord perfect all that concerns you...in Jesus name

ifyalways:
Sorry guys, i had an impromptu but minor surgery so i took some time off to heal.

Lets have some fun now.

Thank God for good health...welcome back.

Booked

ifyalways:
Sorry guys, i had an impromptu but minor surgery so i took some time off to heal.

Lets have some fun now.

Thank God it was minor. Glad to have you back

11


Dominique ;
Is a vry boring days indeed for evrybody and everyone she said... First of all she acted as a pro as if nothing would happened at the end of the day, because this is Nigeria.. But things get out of hand to be real..
Let say it quite impressive, and disgusting because she is vry humble woman with (no nonsense) character, and always busy all the time.. Yeah, a woman with less friends both(male and females), she didn't want to talk all the time, she don't like arguing, she quiet and very gentle all the time, doesn't live a fake life unlike other woman's, vry religious and middle class family

First week of lockdown, usually it would not be easy for her to get along this pandemic as she think. She does all her things slowly and surely, firstly she take her bath as usual @8am in the morning, and after that, take her phone as usual , she call her hubby and discuss, after greetings, he ask her confidently what's she doing, then she answered in lovely voice 'nothing honey' then he ad up, if she couldn't mind he would be around by @8pm. What would you prepared for me, he asked, then she answered calmly and vry lovely voice of her, (Irish potato's and a fried egg with a hot tea)..

Second week:things get out of hand as its is.. Usually she concentrate on phone because of her well being and quite nothing much to do. After chatting for sometimes, she read her novel, and prepared food, after eating, then take a nap..
at the end of the day, in the nights she watch movies..


Third week :lockdown seem as not serious as e be. She went out on there street and get some fresh air, sit and have a discussion for some minutes, before she get inside the house again.. Next day lockdown was eased, for people to go and stuck good's from the market..

She take her bath early,dress decently and take hand bag, board a taxi and went straight to the market.. Despite traffic dey manage to get there, and bought good's like.,,, (vegetables, okro, pepper, plantains, yams, onions palm oil and groundnut oil and rice,)

She came back tiredly and angrily because of traffic jam, because gov hav warned the entire public,, to stuck on good's for own purpose and safety,after that she ate her food and decide to watched movies, but unfortunately fall asleep,

By 5pm wakeup and packaged all the good's she bought and put them on there place, hubby called immediately and discuss.. at the end she said 'I love you baby ' she then prayed,, after that... and sat on the couch, take her phone and started chatting..

Fourth week :that quite month on lockdown, as fasting is gradually approaching, went to her cousins house and greeted them as usual, later came back at noon. And had a discussion with family, before 10pm and go straight to bed. Immediately before she sleep her friend call and ask how about the preparation for The upcoming fasting .. Thank god may god make us among who would witness it, (prayed)

Putting on face mask and using hand sanitizer here and there, prevent dehydration, and maintain so on..
Our insulation center is nightmare itself, because the viruses keep spreading and no proper solutions taken by the government, which are, make face mask available for everyone, hand sanitizer on every street, and provide a food package to the poor and needy to abide by the government rules and regulations,
The worst path is that everyday we have much case's but less people have been tested in the country which was really very bad,


The government decided to eased lockdown for Muslims to stuck some food and get them self well prepared for the upcoming fasting (Ramadan), Decide to went to market., but this term she go with her friend, and bough some good's, but the population in the market that day is quite different, is not as it is, even the price is quite disgusting, after all dey came back tiredly..
Getting back already and tell the family about changed of price on good's, everything went high not as before,..
Dey all prayed and said may god make it easy for all of us.

A vry humble and generous woman not too tall and not too short again, with dark hair, light in compilation.
Vry cheerful family and educative,

The pandemic has render many people jobless, and government couldn't even paid some worker there salary, because economically it has affected us both physically and spiritually, not only Nigeria, in the all world,...

Ify

3

The lessons we won't forget in a hurry
The COVID-19 lockdown was an experience the world didn't plan for but was forced on them because of the bizarre choice of food of some far-away people in China. This is not exactly proven but hey who cares? Here in Nigeria, it feels quite refreshing pointing accusing fingers.

While the lockdown was not anticipated, it did turn out to be eventful for some people, and quite dreary for many others. On which part of the divide UjuJoan2 belonged, you will find out soon enough.

Uju is a happily married woman in her late thirties with a loving husband and three beautiful kids. Being forced to stay at home with three young energetic ladies is not exactly what I'd call thrilling. I mean, there is nothing interesting about yelling and constantly correcting kids about what they should and shouldn't do.

You will understand this only if you’ve been around the block.

This is one of those moments parents wished teachers would be given national honour for the pain they go through with the kids in school. The teachers couldn’t care less. They wouldn’t mind annual lockdowns so they can enjoy their newfound peace of mind.

Different strokes for different folks I guess.

Uju, like other mothers, hoped a vaccine is found to contain the virus so life can return to normal. A little spanking here and there though and some punishments, the girls fell in line. Parenting is a work on its own.

But while it was hectic on one side, the lockdown served as perfect timing for bonding with loved ones. Before the lockdown, everyone had their daily activities which kept them apart for most of the day. While the parents were off to work, the kids were in school. The family only had the weekends to be together. For Uju, the sit-at-home order was a relief (sort of) from the hectic daily activities.

Even though they couldn't go on outings, the family enjoyed their time indoor by playing games and watching movies. She also used the opportunity to try out some continental African dishes like ofe onugbu, nkwobi, abacha, etc. which she has been wishing to prepare once she has the time.

While activities were grounded and movements restricted, technology afforded people to be together even though they are miles apart. Facebook, Instagram and other social medium kept people entertained. Luckily for Uju, she is an active member on Nairaland, a popular African forum, where she engages in intelligent discussions in the family section. These discussions range on marriage and relationships, parenting and child upbringing and many others.

There are a couple of controversial topics on the male folks' inadequacies as well which surprisingly, takes a bulk of her time. I did mention at the beginning of this article that it feels good laying blames in Nigeria. Well, the ladies find it refreshing to discuss all day long about how men are the one thing wrong with the human race. Fortunately for them, being forced to sit at home afforded them enough online presence to discuss this extensively.

Poor men!

The lockdown has been lifted and activities are slowly returning to normal, but the experience during the stay-at-home order is one that many will regale to future generations like our parents did of the colonial rule. While many will blame their woes for having a slow year on it, many others will appreciate it for the opportunity to think of alternative means of survival which has ultimately shaped their lives.

Digitalization of businesses and learning to run them irrespective of a physical gathering is a lesson many Nigerians won't forget in a hurry. And for someone like Uju, she has enough of these lessons carefully tucked away in her archive, hopefully, to be told to her grandkids someday.

sisisioge:


Awwww....I find this very entertaining! Well done! Let me go back and read the rules before further typing

Glad you like it, ma'am.

No.1 zaynie


The news filled her with great trepidation: finally, an index case in Nigeria! An Italian had tested positive to the novel corona virus disease which had first been discovered in Wuhan, China in December of 2019. As a microbiologist by training, Zayni knew how widespread a viral infection could be and if the reports from other countries was anything to go by, then, there was cause for real alarm. And given the poor state of Nigeria's healthcare, only a miracle could save the country. she confided her fears to her husband who waved it off; insisting that the government would tackle it like they did Ebola.
But in the days that followed, from the casualty reports of developed countries whose healthcare system were top notch, it became obvious that there was more to fighting the virus than having a good healthcare system. The media was rife with different campaigns advocating the use of of face masks in public places, social distancing and the use of alcohol based hand sanitizer.
For Zayni, hygiene had always being a priority in her home, but with the outbreak of a pandemic, she doubled her standards. she spoke to every member of her household on the need for regular handwashing and social distancing.
The social distancing aspects however, proved a little difficult especially for the children. This was because the lived in a large family compound which housed her husband's brothers and their families. it was difficult telling the children they couldn't play with their cousins as usual but she could not take chances. she also to took to her social media pages and her whatsapp status to sensitize people on the pandemic and give regular updates.
Finally, schools were shut down and a total lockdown order was issued. As a teacher by profession, Zayni had mixed feelings:she was happy that children ( hers including) were going to be safe at home but was sad that the children's learning had been interrupted. This latter problem was however solved by online classes organized by the school. In addition, the director of the school where she worked helped her get a private tutoring gig which kept her busy; plus the extra cash helped since her online clothing business was a bit slow due to the lockdown.
Another issue that bothered Zayni was the forthcoming Salah celebration and how the social distancing rules were going to be enforced.
Then she became sick and panic spread through all who knew her and their minds were filled with the unasked question:had she been infected by the covid-19 virus? she however shook off the illness after some days. Days to the beginning of the Ramadan Fasting, zayni resolved to providing dinner for as many as she could. It had been a long time dream of hers and she was determined to follow through this year. This turned out to be huge success and every evening for the duration of the fast, people lined up outside the gate to receive food, whether fasting or not. she received accolades for this gesture both online and offline.
one day, her sister-in-law was complaining that the covid-19 scare made it difficult to go to the market for foodstuffs and buying online was risky due to scammers. As the woman went on and on, Zayni remembered the chat she had with one of her friends who sold soup items online about business being slow. she knew a lot of women like her sister-in-law who needed convenient shopping without risks and a few people like her friend who were in the food business but were experiencing low sales. Then she hit on a bright idea. she became a middleman, connecting both sellers and buyers. she would advertise the sellers on her whatsapp status and on her social media page, the buyers place orders and payments. deliveries are made through courier and everybody is happy. she named the platform Ojazaynie. she had become a market woman by chance.

As the lockdown is gradually being eased, Zayni prays for better days.

Crazeworld:
3

The lessons we won't forget in a hurry
The COVID-19 lockdown was an experience the world didn't plan for but was forced on them because of the bizarre choice of food of some far-away people in China. This is not exactly proven but hey who cares? Here in Nigeria, it feels quite refreshing pointing accusing fingers.

While the lockdown was not anticipated, it did turn out to be eventful for some people, and quite dreary for many others. On which part of the divide UjuJoan2 belonged, you will find out soon enough.

Uju is a happily married woman in her late thirties with a loving husband and three beautiful kids. Being forced to stay at home with three young energetic ladies is not exactly what I'd call thrilling. I mean, there is nothing interesting about yelling and constantly correcting kids about what they should and shouldn't do.

You will understand this only if you’ve been around the block.

This is one of those moments parents wished teachers would be given national honour for the pain they go through with the kids in school. The teachers couldn’t care less. They wouldn’t mind annual lockdowns so they can enjoy their newfound peace of mind.

Different strokes for different folks I guess.

Uju, like other mothers, hoped a vaccine is found to contain the virus so life can return to normal. A little spanking here and there though and some punishments, the girls fell in line. Parenting is a work on its own.

But while it was hectic on one side, the lockdown served as perfect timing for bonding with loved ones. Before the lockdown, everyone had their daily activities which kept them apart for most of the day. While the parents were off to work, the kids were in school. The family only had the weekends to be together. For Uju, the sit-at-home order was a relief (sort of) from the hectic daily activities.

Even though they couldn't go on outings, the family enjoyed their time indoor by playing games and watching movies. She also used the opportunity to try out some continental African dishes like ofe onugbu, nkwobi, abacha, etc. which she has been wishing to prepare once she has the time.

While activities were grounded and movements restricted, technology afforded people to be together even though they are miles apart. Facebook, Instagram and other social medium kept people entertained. Luckily for Uju, she is an active member on Nairaland, a popular African forum, where she engages in intelligent discussions in the family section. These discussions range on marriage and relationships, parenting and child upbringing and many others.

There are a couple of controversial topics on the male folks' inadequacies as well which surprisingly, takes a bulk of her time. I did mention at the beginning of this article that it feels good laying blames in Nigeria. Well, the ladies find it refreshing to discuss all day long about how men are the one thing wrong with the human race. Fortunately for them, being forced to sit at home afforded them enough online presence to discuss this extensively.

Poor men!

The lockdown has been lifted and activities are slowly returning to normal, but the experience during the stay-at-home order is one that many will regale to future generations like our parents did of the colonial rule. While many will blame their woes for having a slow year on it, many others will appreciate it for the opportunity to think of alternative means of survival which has ultimately shaped their lives.

Digitalization of businesses and learning to run them irrespective of a physical gathering is a lesson many Nigerians won't forget in a hurry. And for someone like Uju, she has enough of these lessons carefully tucked away in her archive, hopefully, to be told to her grandkids someday.

Very interesting read . . . I love it!

PS: A lot of the things you said about me are off . . .

But I still love it!

Lol, interesting! Well done o nwannem!

ifyalways:
1. Zaynie
2. Giddyperson
3. Ujujoan2
3. Kanwuliaextra
4. Gboliwe
5. Sisisioge
6. Ishilove
7. Blank
8. ArmyofOne
9.Bukatyne
10. Ifyalways
11..Dominique

Essay subject : Pick any one out of the above list of female Nlders, write a 600 words essay on how you believe she spent her Covid lockdown.
You dont have to stalk or PM them, just look through their profile and try to get a hang of their e-personality then write something you think they'll like.

I wont be the judge so dont try to impress me, the ladies will be the judge. There will be 2 winners of 5K each per person and a total of 22 winners (110K)

To avoid spamming their mentions, Just indicate who you will be writing about with its corresponding number. There can be as many essays as possible for each person but ONLY the best 2 essays as chosen by the ladies themselves will be winners.

Submission of essays starts Monday 9am and ends Wednesday 6pm. Winners will be announced and credited Thursday and Friday. Goodluck.

PS: Dont quote me so we dont spam their mentions.

Ifyalways
May almighty God perfect all HE
has done.
Currently on freebasics and it's giving me error whenever I try to post. I'm tired, it's well.

Highly creative!
#Liked#

devlishGINGER:
8.

Armyofone, a Legion to all. You'll always marvel how one could become a Legion. The regular Pa Lejoka Brown's parlance, "one man battalion" doesn't do much justice in describing this personality. The one woman legion surfing through the digital world and the Corona saturated world.

One would wonder how this Moniker spent her lockdown. Although the world is gradually picking up from the aftermath of covid lockdown, Army ofone already moved in swift flight as she understands not being infected and surviving covid is a tricky business. And indeed, she has survived, not just surviving Nigeria but moving from the Asian cities to the "Land of the Free" and down to London for some hot Amala.

Amy understands the Nigerian financial literacy in comparison with the countries she has been to. Hence, during the lockdown she encourages planning for the future. Saving and planning for the people around her in terms of making right decisions and profit wise. After all, what's the point of trading 1 if you can't earn 3?

She keys into the school of thought that Nigerians spend extravagantly once there is little money.

During the lockdown, she lays empasis on life being a game of chance and the need to take risks. She showed positive support by first acknowledging the lack of jobs and the need for employment to boost an individual's pocket financially. She opined and questioned why we sow wild oats and carry small small chicks and side chicks up and down all over the place once there is a slight financial improvement.

As schools were closed during the lockdown, she took her time to teach little ones how to ride a bike. Although her little ones doesn't have any transportation problems, she figured its good for kids to learn new things. She invested their free time in a profitable venture and bike riding may be fun but it's an admirable skill. And when her kids watch movies rated"R" with her, she explains that things they see are unreal.

Armyofo ne doesn't eat too much but she can make Akamu, peak milk and Akara every day; twice on a Tuesday and thrice on a Thursday. The army of Akamu 24/7 365

She is a big fan of quality life with a cup filled with sweet red ITALIA ROSCASTO sitted beside a plate full of well seasoned goat peppersoup. Then when the evening comes, she would have been deserting up and down with banana, cold stone, vanilla beans ice cream and some warm apples pies

Her intereste in discussing intellectual and philosophical questions that botheres on Human dignity is limitless. It wasn't only the covid19 that gave birth to these thoughts but it accelerated the questions. To her, the most important thing in life and in death is simple burials for all and not the extravaganza of killing 4 cows and 10 Buffalo with a field filled with party tents. What are you celebrating?

She spent her lockdown making sure all lines of deception painted with native and local white chalk are wiped out of her road to redemption. She is aware truth is singular and the bibile is her yardstick for those looking for God in the lockdown. She exposed thieves in sheep clothing swindling people, who out of innocence and belief pay pastoprenures. Why pay that much and let pastors use the money to eat egg, butter and jammy bread, peak milk tea, French toast and fresh fruit breakfast. While you, the one paying them "fake shiloh and Thanksgiving" eat eba and fish less soup for breakfast, akpu for lunch and tuwo and meat less soup for dinner.

Armyofone is indeed a voice of self, hope and an army of truth

highly creative!
#Liked#

choo:
HOW ArmyOfone Number 8 SPENT HER COVID-19 LOCKDOWN PERIOD

Beautiful weekend in an amazing serene environment was all I planned for ArmyofOne and I. A whole lot was put into this plan before the announcement of a lockdown due to the corona- virus. She had promised to teach me to make Masa, Indian cuisine, and even some native soups like Oha, Ogbono and Okro.

Plans changed, flights cancelled and a whole number of restrictions were imposed all around the world including the country we planned visiting. We had to be patient for our safety. I never knew she likes food, not just about eating but also cooking.

6:30am 2nd April 2020 she called and we discussed on the Ogbono soup she promised making for us during our cancelled vacation. She asked if she can still make it and send to me. I said yes, at least that would douse the sadness that enveloped me after the lockdown was imposed. She had all she needed to make the soup. One hour later, I called her on whatsapp video call only to behold the sight of a mouth watering soup…so appealing to the eyes. How do I get a taste of this ‘’ now-now’’ I asked myself.

Week after week she made mouth- watering dishes such as Indian foods, Okro with Mushrooms, Masa, Beans and Agidi, Bitter-leaf soup. Seeing all these from her on my status gladdens my heart and the same time makes me sad because I can’t eat them all.

Sitting at home was just boring. I was always in front of the Television watching what several countries pass through under this pandemic. I picked up my phone and called my friend Armyofone to know how she spends her lockdown period. She told me she visits various food sites and blogs, then head to the kitchen for practice. She said has learnt about 27 different foods all thanks to this restriction. I could only concur as my status is always filled with pictures of mouth-watering dishes from her.

Early morning calls between the hours of 8am-10am is a delight for me since the lockdown. Getting Armyofone on phone is always difficult within this time frame. We talked about this during one of our ‘’Virtual dinner’’ and she informed me she’s always in her farm during these timeframe. She planted pumpkin, bitter-leaf and garden egg. ’’I’m really enjoying this lockdown, I never knew farming is fun’’ she said to me. Our discussion lingered for over 4 hours where she told me she also spends time reading about family issues, crime and romance. ‘’ Learning from all these will help me become a better person and well informed too’’ she told me. She intimated me on all she had read thus far pertaining to a wedding cancellation by a certain couple, a woman beaten by a catholic priest, Joe Bidens choice for Vice President ahead of the US elections.

We ended our discussion about a certain girl that washes her brother’s boxers. ‘’ Does your sister wash your boxers?’’ she asked me. ‘’ No one ever does that, I do them myself’’, I replied. She taught me a lot on personal hygiene and its importance. She made me understand she’s rounding up her cooking lessons on all about Uziza soup, making of cakes and sausages. ‘’ when flights resume properly, we will still have our vacation together where I’ll spoil you with variety of delicacies’’ she promised me.

As our conversation ended I sat on my bed imagining how happy she is, making use of this lockdown period in learning how to make lots of delicacies, baking, farming and reading more about romance, crime and family issues.

I cant wait for our vacation to have a taste of all she has learnt, I cant wait to watch Armyofone cook.

UjuJoan2:


Very interesting read . . . I love it!

PS: A lot of the things you said about me are off . . .

But I still love it!

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Lockdown: The diary of a Nairalander (dominique)

It is a cold Monday morning and the news Channels are agog with the discovery of a new virus in Wuhan, China which has been spreading rather rapidly across the globe.

This China people are not only good at scientific and technological inventions, they must also add discovery of viruses to the list, Dominique thinks to herself before switching to the "Ultimate Love" channel which is her new favorite Nigerian Reality TV show. At least there's one channel that isn't projecting doom for the world and to think that the people on the show don't have any idea what's going on in the outside world.


Unknown to her, the words Lockdown, Covid19, Coronavirus, Palliatives were words she will become used to seeing on a daily basis over the next few months as the virus would be declared a pandemic and the government imposing a lockdown on the entire federation. That meant staying indoors, finding new hobbies and inventing new ways to not be bored, on the bright side despite the fact that she could not do all the outdoor fun stuff she was used to, she could still do a lot of fun stuff she liked indoors. That meant more time for Nairaland
shenanigans, clapbacks, calling out scammers, commenting on social issues, gists and mod duties, which wasn't sounding bad at all.



During the lockdown period, she developed the habit of taking short naps and on this fateful day, just as she is about to take a nap after reading all the regulations by the NCDC on how to be safe from the covid19 and to protect one's self. She suddenly overhears the neighbours arguing about how there was nothing like covid19 and everything is just a big lie in other for the government to siphon money, but trust her to always want to set the records straight in her usual fashion and she was not about to let her neighbors get away with their ignorance. She is able to do just that but not without realizing how difficult it was to convince people to take the virus more seriously, by the time she is done she isn't in doubt of how badly she needed the nap.


After getting off the phone, she sits wondering how the lockdown period and the year in general really changed the way of doing things completely, no football, no church, no parties or Owambes as she likes to call them, no large gatherings whatsoever and how nobody really saw that coming and not even her with her wild imaginations and day dreams. She also got to keep in touch with her family, friends and neighbors who had to work remotely/stay home as opposed to when they were almost always busy or occupied with work.


But the lockdown wouldn't be complete without the whole neighborhood palliative drama, as much as she wasn't oblivious to the level of poverty in the country, she was surprised to see full grown men and women fighting over 3 pieces of indomie and a few cups of rice.


She is left conflicted as to whether that was due to the greed of the average Nigerian or due to the fact that they were actually in dire need, but on her own part she was able to help the most vulnerable people in her immediate environment who were hit the hardest by the lockdown, especially seeing as the government wasn't doing much on it's part.


Life begins to return to normal as the lockdown is gradually been lifted and as much as that excites her, the fact that the Big Brother Naija show is back is even more exciting and the show is just what she needs to entertain herself as all the drama that comes with it is something she has always looked forward to. She, like other Nigerians have continue to wait and hope for when life would truly return to normal.


11. Cc dominique
Ifyalways

ifyalways:
Sorry guys, i had an impromptu but minor surgery so i took some time off to heal.

Lets have some fun now.

You are highly welcome back Aunty Ify.
I pray that the good Lord will perfect His good works in your life in Jesus name.

Let me get my pen ready...

ifyalways:
1. Zayne
2. Giddy person
3




Essay subject : Pick any one out of the above list of female Nlders, write a 600 words essay on how you believe she spent her Covid lockdown.
You dont have to stalk or PM them, just look through their profile and try to get a hang of their e-personality then write something you think they'll like.

I wont be the judge so dont try to impress me, the ladies will be the judge. There will be 2 winners of 5K each per person and a total of 22 winners (110K)

To avoid spamming their mentions, Just indicate who you will be writing about with its corresponding number. There can be as many essays as possible for each person but ONLY the best 2 essays as chosen by the ladies themselves will be winners.

Submission of essays starts Monday 9am and ends Wednesday 6pm. Winners will be announced and credited Thursday and Friday. Goodluck.

PS: Dont quote me so we dont spam their mentions.

Hohohoho, this should be fun. . Hello Glam ma

zaynie:
Grandma


Can I write essay too?
Your girl is broke ó, let me write epistle about Giddyperson. I know all she did during the lockdown

Haha don't even start, me I can write all your oja Zaynie escapades.

9. Bukatyne

*Was she being mentored by Salt and Light ?*

Covid came like bitter leaf to the taste buds, a pandemic had hit, it has brought even the greats from the west to its knees...and just when we were beginning to fantasize we're in a safe clime, the virus stared us in the eye, it had flown down from Wuhan in winged planes.

I've not been so much of the stay home type, but u see this pandemic-ordered compulsory holiday? I had no choice. Just when I began to think perhaps I'll cope with this 'new normal', boredom weighed in like a log on the chest of an exhausted human. Ah, fada lord ' e sànu wä ' (have mercy on us) I muttered rolling from one end of the bed to another and taking a big, wide yawn met with a tired stretch and my hands falling down from the stretch like a piece of rock let off the mountain top and landing on my bare laps like a premeditated spank�. Ah, 'ebi ti de' (hunger has come) I said with a teary-eyed tired face from the yawn�.

Boring days turned weeks and with the rising number of active cases, I sure knew this compulsory 'holiday' ain't ending soon. I have to find a 'companion' I said to myself ; something of value yet fun - social media could do, but what content I meditated and just like a twist of fate, I saw a page on Godly relationships. A friend had shared it on her timeline and it sure caught my interest. I read an article there titled 'confessions of a good man', it was inspiring and thought provoking. It portrayed a spirit filled husband ,and how he's the shield and strength of his wife. As I read through, I started fantasizing about having such a man as the one with whom to do forever and before long I had engaged in effectual fervent prayers to God, stating my heart desires for such a husband man. I continued following the page and watching out for new articles like a little school girl awaiting mummy to pick her up. It was such an anticipation!

I read lots of articles and followed the 'good man' behind the wonderful write ups and articles on the page. He was single too, and engaged to a 'good woman' who also wrote follow up articles on her 'confessions of a good woman'. They really opened my eyes to what a Godly relationship should be. The 'good man' called himself 'Salt' and the 'good woman' called herself 'Light'. This salt ain't Sodium chloride and this light ain't emitted from Edison's bulbs�. Salt meeting light would sure be wonderful right? The salt of the earth (sweetness) and the light of the world (brightness), combo perfecto! �

I have always been convicted about godly relationships, where there's no place given to the devil and his activities , but u see these salt and light? They've made my conviction stronger and elevated to a higher pedestal. I take them as mentors! Prior to this time, I've been writing on Godly relationships within the confines of my limited understanding but I've gained more knowledge now and this have helped in my writing, articles and letters of advice and admonishment to intending Godly couples and already married couples alike and the testimonies continue to abound! Can I hear a resounding HALLELUJAH? � For bukatyne (9), buka9 for short... Lol, uniben food court hear am dat year.

I hope she likes this. CC Bukatyne

.

How Gboliwe Spent Her Covid 19 Lockdown.

In the wake of the Covid 19 outbreak, subsequent spread and ensuing lockdown across the world, Gboliwe like many Nigerians have had no choice than stay at home to obey directives, which was no mean feat for her, as she hates being cooped up in one place. She is the ‘up and doing' kind of person. So being locked up took a new kind of adaptation.

In fact, when many Nigerians took to complaining about how difficult life has become, Gboliwe was busy entertaining herself. She became an avid watcher of the much talked about Big Brother Naija Tv show. She would sit in front of her tv and complained to whoever was listening how these sets of housemates were un serious. She felt dismayed that these sets of housemates weren't interested in the house games and tasks and instead focuses more on relationships and entanglements, which was becoming boring to her. And she seemed to have had it for Eric and Lilo. I am not surprised she likes Prince, one of the housemates. Seemed like he is her kind of man. In her words:

“He’s tall and cute too…” She even went on to pray for ladies not to lose an husband material in their ‘pursuit of surface beauty.’

Apart from watching Big Brother Naija, Gboliwe was also active maintaining her various social media accounts. She was seen commenting on various post on nairaland, most especially the big brother naija thread. She kept in contact with her family and friends, she called on phone and spoke to those she hasn't spoken to in a while.

Gboliwe loves good food, and she made sure she ate well during the covid 19 lockdown. She kept promising herself to go for workouts, but she never did. Like most people, Gboliwe tried to work from home to some success. As an health expert, she could been seen online trying to link people with the right Health Maintenance Organization. So it wasn’t just fun for her, she did work. In fact I almost bought some bitcoins from her.

All in all, Gboliwe bettered herself during the covid 19 lockdown. She had fun interspersed with bits of business.

Ishilive or Dominique? Hard to choose

Not sure how to start...

OiOi:
Not sure how to start...

me too. Maybe I'll pass and wait for the next one
Just maybe

Ok