That's what comes to my mind every time I look back, though most of this won't surface in my biography .
It's just about me and I think someone might need this, especially those religious daddy and mummy. It all started from home though and that how the story is¿
In African home you don't interfere or talk when elders are discussing even if you have superior or better knowledge of what they are talking about, poor me they make me feel dumb though, that's not my problem anyways. And the worst part of this is that you don't have to question the authenticity of elder verdict, military kind of life, it's an order you must follow.
We are Christian that what mama always tell me but I know ain't one. In our church, one of the most popular church in the country, I don't want to mention the name cuz no one paid for the ad , well in the church their is always separate auditorium for the kids, and that's where my problem started from.
I took those sermon too serious, little me I want to go to heaven cuz they always make us to understand that Jesus would be coming very soon, maybe next week or so, that's what we always think of when they say Jesus is coming soon
They made us to understand that women are evil and whenever you have that you automatically transfer the evil into your soul, and this could lead to every badluck we could think of, ehn me that's I'm trying to be rich Like Dangote and billgate . For this sole reason, I hate anything female even my own sister cuz I thought she was evil, poor me . I want to be wealthy nah.
There was a time one of my cousing/ big sis raped me I thought I was gonna die and the fear of 'evil' to beffall me nearly drove me into depression, do I won't be able to make it in life, that's what always cloud my thought
Though the act was bad but I enjoyed it, I won't lie .
Now you know I now have a bite of the forbidden fruit and I was afraid of the consequence, I don't want the evil to befall me and I want that again not from my sis though. Lo and behold I was introduce to self service and this just single act worsen my hatred for women.
Now I'm no longer a Christian and those things are still there cuz with mustabation I no longer see any reason for woman –most of the are sex object you know. Now I think I'm retired, a vateran mustabator, my problem is that I now find very difficult to love or even like woman. I hate sex and most of them present themselves as sex object.

My bigger problem is now;
People around me, family and other think I'm impotent cuz at twenty few years they haven't seey girlfriend or things like that.

I'm not planning to get married maybe I will get an egg donor if I can afford it the future and sorogate, that's all.

Ad.
Teach logic to your kid and teach them how to use their common sense by emphasising on the relativity of the advice they receive from people and also let them know Alpha N lakau is fake.

No need to say sorry, I'm happy.

If your story here is true, then it's a very pathetic one. It's not your fault you weren't trained with the right understanding of the Truth but it's your fault you've allowed that to shape your life and principles. At twenty something, you're not too young to seek the Truth. God will always reveal Himself to you if you truly seek Him not matter the level you've gone in spiritual death, the only thing separating you from the truth right now is your sturborn will even though you know in your innermost heart that you are on the wrong path.

I was also indoctrinated with wrong understanding of the Truth while young. I prayed everyday, read and studied the Bible everyday, fasted, etc but had no spiritual experience. I got frustrated in my late teens trying to figure out if God really exists. But God in His gracious love revealed Himself to me by allowing incessant spiritual attacks on my health and many other incidents that were clearly signs of spiritual attacks. In my mid-twenties, I stopped attending "churches" and fell into various ungodly acts due to frustration, but my heart was yearning after the Truth despite my state. I started reading and studying the Bible on my own, with the help of the Holy Spirit, God revealed His Truth to me. I kept listening to sermons by foreign ministers and reading inspiration books. This has helped my spiritual growth tremendously. I still don't attend any congregation but spiritual walk has been fulfilling.