Three days ago, i met the fiancee of my very close pal from Nigeria, she had come to the UK for a medical check up. Seeing her face to face shocked me to the marrows as i realised she was someone i had known way back in my Uni and early working days in Naija. I would spare you the dirty details, but basically she was a slut. She was known for a lot of bed hopping in those days with married and single men alike. She even had various dirty escapades with expatriates from the company I worked for in naija back then, where someone had filmed her on a mobile phone having a foursome with  three guys. This recording was passed round and saved on phones, computers and so on amongst other crazy ones by those expatriates of their escapades. it clearly shows her face and some distinctive futures on her skin.

Two weeks ago my friend had told me his fiancee was coming for a check up and for some shopping here in the UK, he had told me a lot about her, that she was a virgin, honest, caring girl and a whole lot of stuff and desperately wanted me to meet her to boost his opinion as he knew nothing of her past which she has kept from him. Now as we met for me to send some stuff to Naija through her, it was obvious that she was equally shocked to see me.

Now my problem is this, do i tell my friend about who she really is and save him the heartache of finding out himself as the video recording are still in circulation even with some colleagues in various parts of the world. I suspect she might have come here for the "re-virgin" operation now gaining popularity in the UK as she claimed to have spent several thousands on the said "Check up". Or do I just keep quiet and pretend not to know anything. I am to play an important role in the wedding come mid next year.

Please I need constructive advice and even if you must yab try make it subtle , thanX.

Maybe speak to her and tell her to come clean or you will tell your friend. You will have people tell you not to break them up but trust me, if you dont do anything, when he finds out (and he will) he will be more angry with you than her. As close friends we are supposed to watch each others back. He needs to know who he is marrying. How do you think he will feel being tricked. If you dont say anything then your condoning her behaviour. Please be careful, Hope it works well for you.

pressure her to tell all

If she has actually repented from her old ways is understandable bt she is still in d act.She is stil a LovePeddler.If u care for ur friend,then let him know.

~~or else remain silent 4eva after the marriage.

Hmmm, this is a tricky one. I understand why you would want to warn your friend about this girl. After all, you said he [your friend] says she's a virgin, honest, and caring. If she has indeed lied to your friend about being a virgin then then I guess that whole bit about her being honest goes out the window. If you intend on telling your friend you need so ask yourself some things--Do you think she's still doing any of this things that you said she did in uni? If so, do you think she's capable of doing the same thing to your friend? You also need to take into consideration that there is a possibility that she may have changed. Personally, I think you should tell your friend the truth but I don't think you need to air out all her dirty dirty laundry. You could start of my telling your friend some things about her then from there he can ask her whatever else he needs to ask her. For example, when he mentions that she's a virgin you could mention to him that you knew her back in uni. Unless he asks you questions, I don't think you need to be throwing about excess information about her. Just out of curiosity, how do you know for sure that she is a "slut"? Is this hearsay or have you actually seen her in the act with these other people you claim she's been with?

Poster do you have the video with youthen have him watch it. If you are not sure(cos it can be here say) just keep mute.

Secondly, pple can so gossip and even distroy your name for no just cos and when once the news gets to you, you will also take it to someone else. I guess that was what happened.

Without prove you are bound to fail!!! your friend has already term her GOOD and CARING which might be hard to change.

Plssssssssssssssss just be watching.

pls tell him if he is really your friend. if he finds out later he won't see u as a good friend anymore. im talking from experience

I say you say something. His trust in you's enough to fill buckets, apparently. Don't lose that.

Thanx all 4 yr responses. I have contemplated various scenarios. I figured telling him will seriously destroy him and his faith in women as he has had various bad experiences in the past, besides this news will definately have a domino effect on their families as some of them have become so close & dependent on oneanother for suff such sharing/squatting in appartments, jobs, educational sponsorships and business dealings in Naija and abroad. Am afraid of being d one resposible 4 knocking out many connections of these trusting families if there is a break up. Also tho it may be true she is changed, why all the lies she still keeps hidden and the virgin story?

@inked, how u doing, in reply to your question its no hearsay, i know this girl! Am sure i could still dig out the videos 4rm my old phone if i can revive it, plus i know some guys who still have it. my other fear is this could be discoverd later by him as i heard it was once seen on an ammature pornn website.

swiftyc00l:

Thanx all 4 yr responses. I have contemplated various scenarios. I figured telling him will seriously destroy him and his faith in women as he has had various bad experiences in the past, besides this news will definately have a domino effect on their families as some of them have become so close & dependent on oneanother for suff such sharing/squatting in appartments, jobs, educational sponsorships and business dealings in Naija and abroad. Am afraid of being d one resposible 4 knocking out many connections of these trusting families if there is a break up. Also tho it may be true she is changed, why all the lies she still keeps hidden and the virgin story?

@inked, how u doing, in reply to your question its no hearsay, i know this girl! Am sure i could still dig out the videos 4rm my old phone if i can revive it, plus i know some guys who still have it. my other fear is this could be discoverd later by him as i heard it was once seen on an ammature pornn website.

I'm good, thank you for asking. Aside from your dilemma, I hope all is well on your end. Like I said before, I think you should tell him but don't go around airing out her dirty laundry. I'm sure he'll figure the rest out on his own if/when he questions her.

give her the option of coming clean and telling your friend herself if she doesnt then u can tell ur friend.l guess u would want to know if it was d other way round

Guy you know what

Confront the lady now to tell the hubby to be and stay away from them forever. If you dont stay away she will never be comfortable with you whether you tell or not. You can only clear your conscience by confronting her to tell the hubby and walk away. Dont be part of a marriage that is built on falsehood.

For your good stay away from them or else the lady will come after you later. You can make your friend know that you are not comfy with her lady and walk far away from them. If he is the praying type God will reveal everything to him in a miraculous way.

Bro please dont hurt me,you have no choice than to tell your friend,Remember if you were in his shoes,and he doesnt tell you.u will be hurt,please she doesn't deserve ur friend,.Tell ur friend,even if that will cause both of you not to talk.Tell him the truth,She did three-sum with other guys and ur best friend want to marry her,and u r there asking wat to do?

Please poster, dont tell ur friend.I know most guys r loyal to their friends and they will do that but they dont know that it doesnt always help matter.You shld leave ur friend to find out this himself.Like u described here that there are some many connections btw the 2 families,will u want to jeopardise that as well?
I will just advise u that u confront the lady and ask her some Qs if she has actually changed and hw she will feel if her fiance finds out abt her past.Check if she will show remorse while discussing ds with her.U never can say, she might be a changed person now.
But the issue of virgin is what i dont support cos we all have our past and there is no big telling the person u want to marry that u are no more a virgin and he will understand.This might be one of teh reasons ur guy loves her more and she wants to go to any length to fix this.
Just talk to her.

@ poser
follow ur heart & do wat is d best.
For me i support wat nuga10 & ournaija said concering ur dialerma.
let d guy know u can't b part of their plans if d girl does not reveal her past life to him & confirm thus.

I know he will ask why, den u can get him inform of who his wife 2 b his.

Am surprised you are even confused wether to tell or not. I'd say bloody go ahead and tell your friend all you know! Look at it this way - if you were in your friend's shoes. would you wish someone informed you?

If yes, then you got your answer already.

It is none of your business. He is your friend and that is the lady he has chosen.
If your conscience can't take being quiet, tell the girl that either she tells him or you do. She knows she has a better chance telling him herself.

swiftyc00l, if or when you tell your friend what you know, can you please tell us how it went?

As i said b4, You better have prove of your aligation b4 saying anything to your friend. Since you said there was a record of her 4some with white guys in your office, why not play it to your friend without saying a word to him about his woman. that way he can see things for himslf.

^^^ i actually tot of dat, but dont u think dat wld be a lil too harsh and direct, afterall most peeps hav got some dirty laundry hidden somewhere, i believe there should be a more diplomatic way. She seems quite changed now for real and might actually regret what she did now. Pls do u think there are any downsides to me confronting her directly and forcing her to tell him herself. Digging up these videos might result in something bigger than anticipated. It has been safely hidden 4 years now.

This isn't about her having repented or otherwise, this is something that can lead a person without much control to murder!

Since they aren't married yet I believe you should tell your friend. Only in marriage should things like this be left alone. I believe your friend should know the kind of person he's getting hooked with and if he decides to ge ahead with it all then - - - na him sabi.

Tell your friend but in a non judgemental way and let it be between two of you only (i.e no other friend involved except mayb d girl). This way if he really cares about the girl in question and goes ahead with it, your friendship would not be jeopardised. I'm assuming both of you must hav a strong friendship if he told you about the girl earlier

personally, i am not worried about her dirty past. i think the worst part is the she tells him that she is a virgin. Imajin how this could destroy the marriage. what would she have lost if she had avoided the virjin story. this makes me believe that now matter how changed she seem, she is still builing a relationship out of falsehood--- she had not let go of her past, making ur friend a walking corps. his joy is just a mirage

@ Poster.

Be careful. She is still his girl and can easily turn everything on you.

Back in U.I, I decided to go clubbing on a friday night - saw my friend waiting for his babe outside Queen's hall - he said I should go on without him . .he'll come along with his babe alter.

I got to the club and the babe was there on some white man's laps - our eyes locked. I got back to the hostel and met my guy in bed - he'd been told his girl was not feeling too good so they could not go out that night! I kept mute.

The next day, the same guy came to confront me - this same girl had told him I once tried to rape her when she turned down my advances.

Whatever you do, be very careful.

Please do before he finds out after the wedding,we dont want murder later on as is common here in the Uk, lots of family murder this way (was she a black sister).

we dont want her such here in the UK,please we have had enough of the dirty black sister here, have him send back the so called fiance with her 6 months visiting visa.

^^^

You are simply boring.

kokoye:

^^^

You are simply boring.

you can say that again

MOBO444:

we dont want her such here in the UK,please we have had enough of the dirty black sister here, have him send back the so called fiance with her 6 months visiting visa.

MUMU MOBO444 i tot you have been sack from thet cafe where you work as an attendent in Ojouelegba Lagos.

@OP,here is the bitter truth:
Your life is not safe as long as you keep the secret. Whether now or after their wedding. She can easily poison you or frame you for attempting to rrape her.

She telling your friend she is still a virgin means she is extremely dangerous and wouldn't mind eliminating you or anybody to protect the secret.

The wisest thing to do is to send your friend the video proof of her sexcapades. Once the secret is out you will be safer.

Warning: Do not have any discussions with her about it before doing it. But i hope she didn't have a twin.Be sure of your allegations.

yeah and while ur buzy blabbing to ur friend u can arrange for her to be crucified

how many guys in here can stand up and boldly say they havent got skeletons they wld rather their babes didnt find out about-----erm u remember that time u slept wiv her friend----or one time u slept wiv her cousin----wat about the time bck in uni wen u slept with a whole hostel of gals----wat about the time u ganged rapped that poor gal for a laugh wiv ur mates and u filmed ur selves doing it------ how about the time u slept with two sisters not to mention their mum-------wat about the time u were fingering ur underage neice or was it ur cousin while u were suppose to be baby sitting------pls spare us this crap------i cant bliv women r also proposing sending this lady to the gas chambers too

vivaladiva:

yeah and while your buzy blabbing to your friend u can arrange for her to be crucified

how many guys in here can stand up and boldly say they havent got skeletons they wld rather their babes didnt find out about-----erm u remember that time u slept wiv her friend----or one time u slept wiv her cousin----wat about the time bck in uni wen u slept with a whole hostel of gals----wat about the time u ganged rapped that poor gal for a laugh wiv your mates and u filmed your selves doing it------ how about the time u slept with two sisters not to mention their mum-------wat about the time u were manipulation your underage neice or was it your cousin while u were suppose to be baby sitting------pls spare us this crap------i cant bliv women r also proposing sending this lady to the gas chambers too

she said she is still a virgin--- that is enof to crucify her!!!