What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? - Family (5)

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What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by dmgr(m): 6:59am On Mar 12, 2019

Thou am not married but I will be some day.I sometimes have fears of what if the good and well manned wife I married changed from good to bad over night,can I be able to handle all the drama.because am a kind of reserved person I don't like too much drama

What if she cheats on me? what if she is no longer faithful after the wedding,am saying this because some married women do cheat on their husbands this days with anybody even their ex..And infidelity is a difficult thing for me to handle,I just can't imagine my wife sleeping around.

2 Likes

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by Zigdore: 7:03am On Mar 12, 2019

GodisGood4321:

Thanks for your comment, valuable.

That last line is one reason for my due diligence as my religion in its pure form doesn't allow divorce except you remain unmarried afterward.

Which Religion are you talking about, so if you are dying in the marriage you remain there because of religion. Don't let any religion tie you down to living a happy life. Divorce is the way out. [b][/b]

2 Likes

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by Ezniteadin(m): 7:10am On Mar 12, 2019

Marriage

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by ogawisdom(m): 7:11am On Mar 12, 2019

@goodisgood4321

You sound childish

No matter who you marry there is always someone out there better than her in everything, this is a fact. In marriage it's all about contentment. It's like buying a car no matter how good the car is there is always a better car out there. The most important thing is that all cars do the same thing.

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Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by Nobody: 7:11am On Mar 12, 2019

GodisGood4321:

You don't need to think about them because they were never treated badly and even after going our separate ways, we are still good to each other.

It is better to have a broken relationship than to have a dissatisfied or broken marriage.

so after fúcking the hell outta then right? Who do you expect to 'carry' then now?

2 Likes

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by Ezniteadin(m): 7:15am On Mar 12, 2019

dmgr:
Thou am not married but I will be some day.I sometimes have fears of what if the good and well manned wife I married changed from good to bad over night,can I be able to handle all the drama.because am a kind of reserved person I don't like too much drama

What if she cheats on me? what if she is no longer faithful after the wedding,am saying this because some married women do cheat on their husbands this days with anybody even their ex..And infidelity is a difficult thing for me to handle,I just can't imagine my wife sleeping around.

Women cheat and Lie about it.
that thing they carry around is a Bottomless pit
No thermometer can read it accurately

1 Like

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by ADMAF(m): 7:15am On Mar 12, 2019

GodisGood4321:
Happy Sunday to Everyone.

I'm 32yrs but still unmarried, not because I don't like to or because of money but I just have constant concerns, worries, and fears.

I have been in relationships severally where we both love, respect and care for each other; but I call it off every time it was getting really serious, not because of any grievous issue in particular (because nobody is perfect) but just because of worries and fear of the unknown.

Some of the worries I have are things like:
- Would I still like her in the near future after locking it down with her in marriage?
- Am I sure I have considered all my chances?
- Am I sure I won't regret my choice or find a better choice tomorrow?
- Am I sure this is the right person for me?
- Am I sure I'm not walking into misfortune with my two eyes open?
- Am I sure I'm done a balanced analysis in making a choice or just looking at one side?

Some people think I don't like marriage or that I'm just flexing, but these fears and concerns make me develop cold feet whenever a relationship I'm in start getting serious. These fears and doubt are real.

So guys, what were your fears and concerns before getting married and how did it turn out after been married.

Bro, I share those exact fears. I feel they are legitimate fears. Most ppl think of d emotional aspect and are foolishly optimistic. However, if you are rational and realistic, you jst knw its nt that simple. You just have to look at the recent percentage Of divorces and violent cohabitation viz a viz successful marriages. As for me, I have decided it's better to wait n exhaust my chances of getting a lady that views life in a similar lens as I. I have had a couple of xperimental lng term relationships but I have had to end them in time. I think it's better to do that than to get hooked into hell after marriage. Every1 puts u under pressure but no one will live with u through d hell they helped to create. I hpe we all get the soul mates we desire.

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by gentlegenius(m): 7:22am On Mar 12, 2019

GodisGood4321:

Thanks for your comment, valuable.

That last line is one reason for my due diligence as my religion in its pure form doesn't allow divorce except you remain unmarried afterward.

And what religion is that?

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by DMerciful(m): 7:28am On Mar 12, 2019

I have given my opinion, you can give yours! If you know the Bible like you claim you will know the Bible gave infidelity as a ground for divorce!
In modern society there is divorce by the state if there is irreconcilable difference

timothydare:

No room for divorce, is for better for worst. the bible doesn't agree with divorce.
when u go 2 market to buy okirika.watever u c when u get home. u take it like that. the same thing with marriage.

2 Likes

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by enemachris(m): 7:29am On Mar 12, 2019

GodisGood4321:

Thanks for your comment, valuable.

That last line is one reason for my due diligence as my religion in its pure form doesn't allow divorce except you remain unmarried afterward.

So what do you really want since you? undecided

1 Like

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by Meliaen(f): 7:34am On Mar 12, 2019

GodisGood4321 what I can deduce from your post is that the women/woman in your life were/is not the problem but you. You're struggling with "immaturity". You're emotionally immature, weak and unfit.

Pls don't give marriage a thought yet for I pity the woman who' would have the misfortune of tying the knots with you in your current state. There's time for everything.

9 Likes

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by Nobody: 7:55am On Mar 12, 2019

cococandy:
Nobody should want to be with you.

Hopefully no one will.

Ex is that you?

1 Like

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by frozen70(f): 7:56am On Mar 12, 2019

GodisGood4321:
Happy Sunday to Everyone.

I'm 32yrs but still unmarried, not because I don't like to or because of money but I just have constant concerns, worries, and fears.

I have been in relationships severally where we both love, respect and care for each other; but I call it off every time it was getting really serious, not because of any grievous issue in particular (because nobody is perfect) but just because of worries and fear of the unknown.

Some of the worries I have are things like:
- Would I still like her in the near future after locking it down with her in marriage?
- Am I sure I have considered all my chances?
- Am I sure I won't regret my choice or find a better choice tomorrow?
- Am I sure this is the right person for me?
- Am I sure I'm not walking into misfortune with my two eyes open?
- Am I sure I'm done a balanced analysis in making a choice or just looking at one side?

Some people think I don't like marriage or that I'm just flexing, but these fears and concerns make me develop cold feet whenever a relationship I'm in start getting serious. These fears and doubt are real.

So guys, what were your fears and concerns before getting married and how did it turn out after been married.

You are just prosponing your judgement day or evil day

You want a marriage without stress and challenges,
Then how do you want to enjoy it without the above meantioned

You better make up your mind or go straight to monastery and become a monk.

Why are you not scared of making love ❓

8 Likes

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by Amberon11: 8:00am On Mar 12, 2019

Very myopic reply. Age is a factor for every living thing. Do you know that as a man the quality of your sperm reduces after about 40 hence increasing the risk of having unhealthy offsprings?

Don't marry o, wait till prostrate problems kick in and then you'll realize how you wasted your time.

GodisGood4321:

Sorry, flexing is not my thing. Of course, age is just a number for a guy, unlike a woman.

7 Likes

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by Amberon11: 8:02am On Mar 12, 2019

Your religion in it's "pure form" also doesn't allow fornication and sampling different women in the name of relationships.

GodisGood4321:

Thanks for your comment, valuable.

That last line is one reason for my due diligence as my religion in its pure form doesn't allow divorce except you remain unmarried afterward.

7 Likes

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by Heavencare: 8:06am On Mar 12, 2019

mgdimagaladima:
Listen!!!! U have to go down on your knees and pray about it..... That's the only way out

marriage is so dangerous that atimes prayers is not the solution you just have to shine Ur eyes as u pray, many divorced marriages visited a renounce pastor for prayers n still fail. It's really a scam that u just have to be a victim

1 Like

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by cooooooks(m): 8:06am On Mar 12, 2019

ShinqRambq:
Your only concern before marriage should be if your wife is among those girls that claim that there are Virgins who do not bleed on their first intercourse so they can feel better about their lost virginity and For the women,you concern should be,is he the kind of man that will struggle for the good of the family,he must not be rich provided all he isn't a gigolo while the basic African attribute of submissiveness of a woman remains constant

Virginity is a false sense of virtue and means nothing.

7 Likes

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by Heavencare: 8:12am On Mar 12, 2019

timothydare:

No room for divorce, is for better for worst. the bible doesn't agree with divorce.
when u go 2 market to buy okirika.watever u c when u get home. u take it like that. the same thing with marriage.

ds is exactly d same belief dos who later murderd their spouses had 4 better 4 worse till he/she end Ur life. Everyone deserves to be happy in life. Run for whatever gives you pains cos it can later kill

1 Like

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by Amberon11: 8:18am On Mar 12, 2019

And men are not promiscuous than women? Look at the celebrities we have in Nigeria for example, how many of the females have multiple kids for different men? But most of the males have different kids from different women and you still adore them. Just go on with your delusion.

justscorchone:
Marriage gives me the creeps,must everybody be married? My fear is that with the way women are wayward what if I make a ho a housewife,there’s no way I can settle with a woman that has had more sex than me.dont ask me how will I know,bish that’s why I’m looking for a virgin.

1 Like

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by Amberon11: 8:20am On Mar 12, 2019

Lmao

cococandy:
Nobody should want to be with you.

Hopefully no one will.

1 Like

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by Amberon11: 8:24am On Mar 12, 2019

It's usually at the edge of breakthrough all manner of temptations come.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Are u sure? When I'm serious with prayers is when different manners of temptations keep coming my way. Perhaps one gotta know how to listen to d spirit

2 Likes

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by Emanuel1997: 8:47am On Mar 12, 2019

GodisGood4321:
Happy Sunday to Everyone.

I'm 32yrs but still unmarried, not because I don't like to or because of money but I just have constant concerns, worries, and fears.

I have been in relationships severally where we both love, respect and care for each other; but I call it off every time it was getting really serious, not because of any grievous issue in particular (because nobody is perfect) but just because of worries and fear of the unknown.

Some of the worries I have are things like:
- Would I still like her in the near future after locking it down with her in marriage?
- Am I sure I have considered all my chances?
- Am I sure I won't regret my choice or find a better choice tomorrow?
- Am I sure this is the right person for me?
- Am I sure I'm not walking into misfortune with my two eyes open?
- Am I sure I'm done a balanced analysis in making a choice or just looking at one side?

Some people think I don't like marriage or that I'm just flexing, but these fears and concerns make me develop cold feet whenever a relationship I'm in start getting serious. These fears and doubt are real.

So guys, what were your fears and concerns before getting married and how did it turn out after been married.

OP all your fears are justified according to your brain but according to your heart those are not the priority because marriage requires work as have heard from many marriage counselors, all you've said to a point is correct but the main thing is do you love her, if you do just go ahead with the marriage there will be fights between you too that's sure but you would learn to live with each other but make sure you love her and dont fall to pressure because of getting married and not trying to be spiritual or anything pray about it, it doesn't hurt to pray you know wink

, and let me just add this there is no better choice than the choice you make if you dont learn to live with her and you get married to someone else same thing will happen, thats why some people divorce over and over again...

4 Likes

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by ujluv(f): 8:59am On Mar 12, 2019

EmpressT:
Aside finances, my biggest fear is to end up with an estranged partner. I don't want to ever experience such tragedy in my life. All I want God to bless me with is true happiness. I love to smile, I love to see people happy every day.

Anyone who is due for marriage should be aware that every little thing that glitters aren't gold. This is directly to ladies. Get a life of your own i.e be independent. Be passionate about what you feel is good for your future. Learn to take responsibilities for yourself. Handle life issues with maturity and humility. Then, the man who fits in your taste will surely come your way.
When you meet your significant other, just be You. Don't fake it cos it's not gonna get you anywhere. Love everyone around you including your enemies. Jesus taught us so. Learn to forgive and forget whosoever gets you mad.
Learn to impact value in the lives of people. Don't discriminate. We're one body in Christ. Also, we ladies should mind the kind of friends we keep. These days, friends cannot be trusted either best friend or casual.

All these words I have said are very paramount when it comes to marriage.

Love, trust, peace and harmony are the way of life. So it is in marriage. May God help us to choose wisely.

Thanks so much. Noted

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by alphaNomega: 9:05am On Mar 12, 2019

GodisGood4321:
Happy Sunday to Everyone.

I'm 32yrs but still unmarried, not because I don't like to or because of money but I just have constant concerns, worries, and fears.

I have been in relationships severally where we both love, respect and care for each other; but I call it off every time it was getting really serious, not because of any grievous issue in particular (because nobody is perfect) but just because of worries and fear of the unknown.

Some of the worries I have are things like:
- Would I still like her in the near future after locking it down with her in marriage?
- Am I sure I have considered all my chances?
- Am I sure I won't regret my choice or find a better choice tomorrow?
- Am I sure this is the right person for me?
- Am I sure I'm not walking into misfortune with my two eyes open?
- Am I sure I'm done a balanced analysis in making a choice or just looking at one side?

Some people think I don't like marriage or that I'm just flexing, but these fears and concerns make me develop cold feet whenever a relationship I'm in start getting serious. These fears and doubt are real.

So guys, what were your fears and concerns before getting married and how did it turn out after been married.

Make sure you do a court wedding and have a pre-nup.

Have it at the back of your mind that you will not have a perfect marriage. When you get married, focus on giving your kids the best you can afford.

Do not let your partner's short comings get in the way, this is why you should get a pre-nup.

1 Like

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by ianq: 9:08am On Mar 12, 2019

Lexicon123:
This topic brings a close friend to mind. He's been in this relationship with a lady he met about 4 years ago. The lady decided she was going to study abroad, couple with having some brothers and dad abroad. The guy felt obligated to support her by giving her time to study. Months turned to years and nothing has happened. Now she's trying to get her green card and therefore need more time to settled down, meanwhile the guy feels he is advancing in age. He's doing well in Nigeria and not fixated on abandoning everything to move abroad (probably illegally for sometime). The lady is threatening to quit if the guy can't wait any longer. The earliest she feels she can settle down and have kids is at least 3 years time (not guaranteed surely). Am even confused about his predicament myself that I don't know a suitable advice for him right now.

Bottom line is that people face different difficult situations before and duration marriage. It takes the grace of God, patience and strong will to overcome .

Your friend's faith is commendable. However, i would ask 2 things. 1) is he sexually active in the meantime? 2) does he routinely go for medical checkups?

because, if he is practising abstinence from sex while waiting for the woman, i can quite convincingly tell u his bp might be on the rise.
U might wanna cross check him on that. ..it might be the advice u are looking to giving him.

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by mechanics(m): 9:15am On Mar 12, 2019

Just pray to God and He will assist you, others that have married are living fine, just pray to God to show you your better halve, although one will have some issues but it is the way it will be handled that will determine how far the marriage will go.

2 Likes

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by blackbee222: 9:17am On Mar 12, 2019

what I worry most about is finding a FAITHFUL woman

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by Nickymezor(f): 9:24am On Mar 12, 2019

Here to read comments. Find some interesting

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by cooooooks(m): 9:24am On Mar 12, 2019

Some advice:
- your fears are real and don't mind people who suggest that your fears are unfounded.

- check with the law and lawyers to see what legal safeties exist in Nigeria(or any potential country you want to move to)

- check with your traditional people to see what safeties exist there as well.

- be ready for a wife as a partner and not some subservient being

- be on the lookout for someone you can grow with and with similar goals

- there is no perfect wife. Some fault exists somewhere if you look hard enough.

- good luck.

Also, check out women your age or slightly older and not just young girls of 20 years old.

2 Likes

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by ImaIma1(f): 9:33am On Mar 12, 2019

justscorchone:
Marriage gives me the creeps,must everybody be married? My fear is that with the way women are wayward what if I make a ho a housewife,there’s no way I can settle with a woman that has had more sex than me.dont ask me how will I know,bish that’s why I’m looking for a virgin.

She will only be a virgin for one night. And being a virgin doesn't mask character flaws in a person. But good luck with your search.

2 Likes

Re: What Were Your Concerns Before Marriage And How Did It Turn Out After Marriage? by olufemi7onifade: 9:36am On Mar 12, 2019

kazvid:
It AM I not AM MINE

Guy, his message has been passed successfuly. English is a borrowed language, hence not a sign of success.

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