This is my 1st time of posting in this section though. I just have to because I am not understanding what I am hearing with my ears.

OK a friend and I were talking not sure what led us to marriage talk sha but we found ourselves there.
He is of the opinion that as long as a man proposes, builds the house/foot the bills, provides for the house(even if bills are split with the wife) he can control EVERY aspect of her life without her having a say.
As in marriage is just about his happiness and the woman should adjust to his every need without putting into consideration her own feelings or what she really stands for. She should stop or start whatever he wants her to but she shouldn't expect same from him because he married her and not the other way round.

So I asked what if she does everything expected of the man, would he be willing to be controlled and he said No.
Seriously I am lost, should we forget what it means to have common sense. I understand submission very well but I don't believe people should go into a union with the mind set of controlling the other party for any reason.

It's also same for woman that want to control their husband because the guy is loving and understanding. You as a woman would you be comfortable if your emotions are being used against you? I think we should Always put others in your shoes and do what we want to be done to us to others too.

I am not married but I believe people should be allowed to be themselves first before anything else at the same time common sense should be applied to everything we do.

Or am I getting something wrong.

you have a good point BUT I believe your male friend spoke that way BECAUSE 90% of the ladies clamouring for relationship on SOCIAL MEDIA are useless as wives.... THEY HAVE NOTHING TANGIBLE TO OFFER OTHER THAN SEX AND BEAUTY hence men are rethinking the NEED to put a ring on anything


BUT AM OF THE CONVICTION THAT MARRIAGE IS SUPPOSED TO BE 50/50 and not 70/30 or 30/70

50/50 meaning BOTH partners contribute equally to the home. LADY MUST HAVE A JOB OR BUSINESS else the MAN CAN NEVER SEE HER BEYOND HOUSEHELP OR SEX MACHINE OR ORPHAN.... at this point marriage becomes an ORPHANAGE or a CHARITABLE N.G.O

If she give her own 50% and he gives his own 50%.... THERE WILL BE SERIOUS RESPECT.... yes of course HIS OWN 50% WILL BE HIGHER THAN HERS but will not make hers IRRELEVANT.

50/50 IS NOT ALL ABOUT MONEY...... there is... character, support, prayers, business ideas, respect, teachability etc

THESE DAYS.... social media and movies have successfully killed the role of GOOD CHARACTER in marriage and the sanctity of sex and also the VOWS of WEDDING ..... so people can marry this month and in 3 months they are single again.... LADIES even date men these days with the expectation of him paying most of her BILLS..... its all crazy.

less than 20% still hold MORAL HIGH GROUND of integrity and character and chasteness o.
may God save us all

Wesell:
This is my 1st time of posting in this section though. I just have to because I am not understanding what I am hearing with my ears.

OK a friend and I were talking not sure what led us to marriage talk sha but we found ourselves there.
He is of the opinion that as long as a man proposes, builds the house/foot the bills, provides for the house(even if bills are split with the wife) he can control EVERY aspect of her life without her having a say.
As in marriage is just about his happiness and the woman should adjust to his every need without putting into consideration her own feelings or what she really stands for. She should stop or start whatever he wants her to but she shouldn't expect same from him because he married her and not the other way round.

So I asked what if she does everything expected of the man, would he be willing to be controlled and he said No.
Seriously I am lost, should we forget what it means to have common sense. I understand submission very well but I don't believe people should go into a union with the mind set of controlling the other party for any reason.

It's also same for woman that want to control their husband because the guy is loving and understanding. You as a woman would you be comfortable if your emotions are being used against you? I think we should Always put others in your shoes and do what we want to be done to us to others too.

I am not married but I believe people should be allowed to be themselves first before anything else at the same time common sense should be applied to everything we do.

Or am I getting something wrong.

My dear he is off the opinion that even if she brings every good thing to the table she must do his every bidding so long as she is under his roof.

Marriage, not slave trade

Wesell:
This is my 1st time of posting in this section though. I just have to because I am not understanding what I am hearing with my ears.

OK a friend and I were talking not sure what led us to marriage talk sha but we found ourselves there.
He is of the opinion that as long as a man proposes, builds the house/foot the bills, provides for the house(even if bills are split with the wife) he can control EVERY aspect of her life without her having a say.
As in marriage is just about his happiness and the woman should adjust to his every need without putting into consideration her own feelings or what she really stands for. She should stop or start whatever he wants her to but she shouldn't expect same from him because he married her and not the other way round.

So I asked what if she does everything expected of the man, would he be willing to be controlled and he said No.
Seriously I am lost, should we forget what it means to have common sense. I understand submission very well but I don't believe people should go into a union with the mind set of controlling the other party for any reason.

It's also same for woman that want to control their husband because the guy is loving and understanding. You as a woman would you be comfortable if your emotions are being used against you? I think we should Always put others in your shoes and do what we want to be done to us to others too.

I am not married but I believe people should be allowed to be themselves first before anything else at the same time common sense should be applied to everything we do.

Or am I getting something wrong.

men that think like your friend are the reason we have feminists today.

Your friend sounds like a lot of Nigerian men, but his mindset is wrong

Him never ready

That is not marriage. Your friend is speaking out of selfishness and he sounds self-centred.

Women are not puppets that won't want control over their own lives. It's probably his upbringing but he will learn soon.