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#WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives - Jokes Etc (5) - Nairaland

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by logon599: 11:09pm On Mar 19, 2019
You ever returned late at night after watching a champions league match, had your Dad first ask you the scores, before beating the living daylight out of you?

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by To5man(m): 11:16pm On Mar 19, 2019
Was the day we came down to The Village. went to poop inside one of our toilet and I love that style of standing on the W/C. That's how mumcy opened the toilet door and yelled! 'Omo yi ma Paami' Omo see beating like say I be drum. Na so I vex say I dey go Lagos all by my self like person wey know the Road to the Nearest Bus Stop sef

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Thobiy(m): 11:21pm On Mar 19, 2019
Buzzberii:
What reason do I have to lie even my mum never forgets it for ur info am her first child
Mhen Your Mum Is Damn Brutal, What If You Die As A Result Of The Injury, I Just Don't Want To Believe This And That Was Why I Said You Were Not Her Child, Sorry If I Have Offended You By My Utterance .


I Will Like To Meet Your Mum Personally To Confirm.

1 Like

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by meneski(m): 11:24pm On Mar 19, 2019
like if playstation cos trouble for you share if playing ball cos palavar 4 u. Pes way make my mama use razor tear my leg put pepe? Las las na master i be even became a boardman.

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by kingolovich(m): 11:32pm On Mar 19, 2019
LtCZAR:
I was in SS1, One government school in Oriade, Old Ojo Road. When my Dad came to school to look for me and went straight to the staff room asking of me, that am a science student. He was told by the teachers that I was in Art Class. They called me and I saw His face, with the look of, they are lying on you Abi.
I confirmed it to him I was in Art Class truly.
Throughout that semester before I go to school, my dad would give me morning dose 10 strokes daily.




Do you regret being an Art student?
Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by leonard002(m): 11:41pm On Mar 19, 2019
lol. beating wey I don chop no be small

1. Our neighbor for back send him boy wey dey with am to go buy kerosene for him, at that same moment I came outside to pour away some dirty water, so this guy beg me make I escort am go buy the kerosene. na so I comot without telling anyone at home, coupled with the fact that we spent some time before we bought the kero. my people for house think sey dem don kidnap me

omo, beating wey I chop that day... I come dey wonder whether na my mama born me true true

2. all gamers in the house shout hallelujah... lol
school go close, instead of me to go home, I go branch game house dey play PS 1. most times I only watch hoping for opportunity to play free game. one day i overstay till around 7pm.. my mama beat me like mad dat day mehn

funny enough, i still kept going to that game house but everything on a coded and careful level.. lol

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by kamez(m): 12:11am On Mar 20, 2019
first and only time I stole money in the house....i think I was about 8yrs old..i stole my mums 5naira and bought soft rotten mangoes with the money ...back then 5naira could buy about 10 mangoes. I walked round the entire FESTAC town aimlessly while eating the mangoes, just to make sure I finished them all before going home.....


unknown to me, my mum had discovered the missing money and sent my two elder brothers to drag me back home.... finally my brothers caught me around agboju market my clothes were stained with mango juice and I still had about two mangoes left in my hands....

they carried me like a bag of cement back home.. as I enter house, my mum came from behind and gave me one heavy slap on my BACK... believe me that slap gave me instant tuberculosis... because I just started coughing uncontrollably. momsie no send, she entered inside, came out with koboko and gave me SARS type of flogging..

since that day, to even steal a cup of water is no no for me

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by LtCZAR: 12:12am On Mar 20, 2019
kingolovich:


Do you regret being an Art student?
No.
I hated Anything Calculations and it's one of the reasons I opted for Art class then only to find, History interesting and lit-in-eng boring.
Old man wanted me be to be an Engineer

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by richmanrichard: 12:17am On Mar 20, 2019
Choi! Story plenty die! i swear because, my childhood was full of memories. As child; i grew in the east. Ekwulobia in Anambra 2 be precise. My father use to be a truck driver back then. Enrouting frm south to north transporting stuffs. One of the worst beating of my life came a certain weekend that my dad came back with his truck lorry(911) frm his trip. I had earlier boasted to my frnds that i can drive my popsys truck. To prove it, when my fada left that very evening to go&see his frnd, i gathered my frnds,went inside my dad's room&got d keys. I proceeded like a boss,opened the truck door&sat on the driver's side. My idiotic frnds were then hailing me because they cud not blv i cud even open d door to the truck& to make matter worst; my mom&siblings were at the backyard so they didn't know what was going on. Even at my age then, i already knw how to switch on the engine so i pushed in the 1st key&turned the second ignition key. The lorry came to life&all my frnds went gaga. I kept on powering the pedals to show off. I cud ve just stopped there but the devil in me kept pushing me to go ahead and complete what i started. My brodas&sistas na so i use my little hands&power; having seen my popsy do that alot of times. I matched the clutch,pushed the gear to the front,commot leg for clutch&pedalled down. Na so the truck climbed the veranda&parked itself inside my paale room...what my papa do me that dey-i cannot finish telling it the whole of today.

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by HEnemona(m): 12:20am On Mar 20, 2019
teacherbim:
#Theworstbeatingofmylife happened in 1999 when I just finished my Waec and I was expecting letter from Waec because I also enrolled for G. C. E. On that unfortunate day,when I got home from lesson,I entered the room met my dad eating EBa, I greeted him but he didn't answer, he later asked me if I was expecting any letter I said yes, I was expecting a letter, my dad nodded his head and said very good, he handed the letter to me, called my elder brother and he asked me to start reading it loud, the letter was from a class mate of mine in Secondary school, it was a love letter, I started stuttering so dad was angry that at that age I'd started doing rubbish with boys, that he would show me pepper and that was the year I clocked 18yrs when I remember that, I told my dad'' daddy but it is an offense to open my letter because I've already clocked 18yrs.omg!that 18yrs I said was like a bomb with the EBa and ewedu hand, my dad gave me three thundering slaps and was asking what my age was, I kept saying pry 6,not quite long my mom came bk from market and asked what was happening my dad explained to him that I said I'd already clock 18yrs so I can fornicate with boys any how, ha! Mammi shouted aye mi nibs kilon he 18yrs,i received beating with her rubber slippers till it got cut. My dad later took me to my uncle that lived in the next street, immediately we got there my dad explained to him that I said I had clocked 18yrs oooo so I could fornicate with boys anyhow and that my uncle is very educated, he was also like 18 yes ke, meaning what? he called out his son to get him Koboko that was when the wife stopped him that he should not beat me at all. I can never forget the besting I received that and till now my elder brother still call me aunty 18yrs. Oh! African parents are tough and wonderful but I'm trying so hard not to be too tough on my kids
Lmao!
Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Maxi3k(m): 12:37am On Mar 20, 2019
I was sent to buy fuel in the petrol station, on way getting to the station a man approached me telling me he has fuel that he will bring it with a game console, i was fùcking excited that two hours passed and this man haven't returned with the fuel and the game till date, did I also mention that I gave this bastard my 1k well I knew my fate dat they but it wasn't the beating that pained it was the fact that I was scammed

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by maisauki: 1:12am On Mar 20, 2019
Na 1 man wey ds apun reach...soja stop am 4 checkpoint, den tel am say make him go. oga man jus abuse soja while kickin his machine to speed off. but alas soja hia abuse and his machine no kick

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by plainol(m): 1:14am On Mar 20, 2019
The one I remember well was when I wanted to try my cycling skill on express (Iyana Ipaja - Ile Epo - Arigbanla - Mulero around NYSC Camp - Salem).

I never knew our neighbour ( a policewoman) who hated me with passion saw me.

She called out my parents into the passageway in the full view of other neighbors and started dishing out the horror like scene of me maneuvering betweens cars and trailers on the express (which were white lies coz I rode very close to the gutter side)

Dad said 'Thank You' and we all went to sleep.

Then, it all happened midnight, Dad woke me up with a 'fan belt' in his hand, mum was already seated.

The rest is history. But I still came out alive sha.


Mama Osaro, I still remember your amebo till date.

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Eazie351(m): 1:24am On Mar 20, 2019
I've done about 40% of what y'all wrote up here, your worse beatings are just like routine beatings to me only that nobody broke my bone or cut me with razor.

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by adebayour04: 1:29am On Mar 20, 2019
the moi moi issue still catch my attention. Still waiting or more lies�
Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by chieni(f): 1:51am On Mar 20, 2019
LtCZAR:
I was in SS1, One government school in Oriade, Old Ojo Road. When my Dad came to school to look for me and went straight to the staff room asking of me, that am a science student. He was told by the teachers that I was in Art Class. They called me and I saw His face, with the look of, they are lying on you Abi.
I confirmed it to him I was in Art Class truly.
Throughout that semester before I go to school, my dad would give me morning dose 10 strokes daily.
lol meaning he wanted you to be a science student but you wanted to be an Arts student?



Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by chieni(f): 1:53am On Mar 20, 2019
LtCZAR:
I was in SS1, One government school in Oriade, Old Ojo Road. When my Dad came to school to look for me and went straight to the staff room asking of me, that am a science student. He was told by the teachers that I was in Art Class. They called me and I saw His face, with the look of, they are lying on you Abi.
I confirmed it to him I was in Art Class truly.
Throughout that semester before I go to school, my dad would give me morning dose 10 strokes daily.



lol meaning he wanted you to be a Science student but you wanted to be an Arts student?
Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by afoobabs(m): 2:01am On Mar 20, 2019
was in primary six army children school, after school as usual during mango season we go on mango plucking tour. this very day i went as a loner got to my favorite mango tree ( cus there are hundreds of them at mokola barack) i started throwing sticks and unripe mangoes at my targeted cluster of riped mangoes so i ran out of sticks and started using stone. unknown to me some sec. school girls were wandering under the mango tree looking for fallen mangoes or to cash in on someone's pluck, gbam the stone i threw landed on one of the girls' head and before i could say jack blood started gushing out, the girl started crying and her friends have already locked my cloth saying alot of things that are inaudible to me. i was dazed standing there just a primary six pupil didnt know what next to do.

and then came a solider who directed us to the MRS hospital. on getting there one officer started attending to her and the other one like someone who has been waiting for that moment to come sprang into action giving me the beating of life and all sort of punishment was told to lie down with my face up looking directly into the 2.0clock sun. frog jump for more than one hour around the MRS, striped me half unclad. at last the girl's wound was cleaned and treated, i was called upon, he gave me my uniform but held on to my newly bought bag he asked me to bring my parent to get the bag back.

I kuku dash him the bag, my dad must not hear bcus as at that time my mum sells fruit, mango by default (because its mango season) this afforded me the opportunity to eat as many as i wanted at home but NO i want the one I plucked myself .

Was so scared that i had to dodged the officer everytime i happened on him and thank God he didnt recognise me either.

the man was wicked even though i was a kid but he gave me a brutal adult treatment .
If i ever see him again, I will sue him for child abuse.

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Paentera(m): 2:50am On Mar 20, 2019
Buzzberii:
Hmmmm I was in pry 3 when I took #10 from mum's purse to buy Mr goody goody chai mum beat me like I'm a criminal used razor blade to cut me put pepper in my eyes and private parts after several pleas from neighbours she left me but continued at night I picked pen (punishment) till dawn. After that incident I don't touch people's things without permission

This is so traumatic
Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by britiko: 4:13am On Mar 20, 2019
Elliot2:
Have you ever been in that difficult shit you wish you had the remote for time so u could rewind or fast forward it in order to delete those moments? Ok. There was this small open-ground we normally went out to play football;however,there is a low fenced compound that overlooks it. We had been warned several times by the owner of the house not to play ball there as it always goes into the compound,which we normal jump over and collect it. So,on this particular day, it happened that Devil did a Job job on me—I played the ball and it went into the compound. As it was customary, I must be the one to go pick it. So as I jumped over the fence and paced to collect it...brothers and sisters...what I saw looking at me caused me to literary faint. I saw the full family of over 15 people staring at me— and among them is a military guy(landlord's son). At that moment,I saw my spirit leaving me while waving at my soulless body. I could tell it was saying something too to me,but I couldn't really hear it—but as a linguist that i am now,I believe it was saying "Elliot see gbese" or "see gobe". So,in front of me is one big pot of soup,and a ball inside of it. To cut the story short, the young but fiercely looking guy took me by his side, unclad me to my pant n drag me to my house. Somehow I was glad he was taking me to my house; I thought my mom would plead on my behalf. But lo n behold, my mom denied knowing me. This guy now took me back to their compound to give me the kind of beating that I have never had. It was after then when i got home, the first thing my mom said after sighting me was that my food was ready and that she had bought paracetamol. I no fit shout, I was so damn angry eh! Funny enough,now that I am all grown with enough beards me n d said guy r friends.

grin cheesy grin I couldn't stop laughing. The fear of military guy is d beginning of wisdom even for ur mum. I no blame her o. Before they join her own for d matter grin cheesy

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by fakuta(f): 4:54am On Mar 20, 2019
My brother was teaching me mathematics, the topic was quadratic equestion I was in JSS3 and my mind was with friends, after 30mins of teaching, he asked do you understand I said know, then he said please pay attention he repeated the same thing and ask again do you understand I said no,
He gave me one slap, at that moment all I could see was stars my head was spinning, and I couldn't open my eyes for some minutes,
That slap reset my memory, up till today I don't know how I solved the exercise he gave
I can only remember how he said good

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by femi4: 5:15am On Mar 20, 2019
kaziblake:
Mine was when I told my dad that my grandma was a witch and that she initiated me into it so I have extraordinary power .My dad believed it and ran away same with my siblings,I said it because then my grandma was very wicked, she beat me and tell my mum awful things about me..I later confessed that it was a lie and that day I saw hell, everyone was beating me that I caused confusion at home.
you still look like one
Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by dotedote: 5:19am On Mar 20, 2019
Shiooooor
And that's why there is like there

quote author=ishowdotgmail post=76806041]Is only evil parents that will beat their children.... We don't do that over here mehn undecided[/quote]
Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Kneephy(m): 5:42am On Mar 20, 2019
It was in my JSS2 second term vacation day.
I had a brilliant result but my best friend result was so poor and he was really sad that the thing even affected me, the mumu me con collect the guy result con change the 33% overall percentage to 83%.....told the guy he should worry no more cos I have made him pass aiidy.... Alas, the guy mumcy came to pick his son cos we were in boarding school den, noticed the percentage does not tally with the marks scored in each subject, the mum asked the boy who tampered with the result, my guy told his mum I helped.....

My dad also came to pick me, that was how the principal invited my popcy to his office ooo,shebi
Alas, I saw my guy and him maale.... Chiiiimo..... That was how they narrated every every give my old man.... He was so disappointed in me for such nasty act... Apologized for my wrongdoings from the woman to the principal.... Old man carry me reach con start to dey beat me from 5pm till 11:30 ......na one old woman nearly break the door down before old man free me ooo..... Wouldn't wanna try such now though

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by spiralwedge(m): 6:07am On Mar 20, 2019
The summary of this thread is that Nigerian parents are the most violent. I was expecting to read beatings from the streets, teachers, friends, strangers or even police.

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by jamezman(m): 6:09am On Mar 20, 2019
Back in primary school days...
My headmistress son was a modafvcka then always playing the Jagaban on me like say I no dey school fees.
One sunny hot afternoon on a Saturday I just observe him passing my lane on trying to interrogate him the bobo base me slap on my retaliation the boy cry me a river and reported to His mom that Monday was hell cause after receiving the beating of my life the whole school now saw the then quite boy as a notorious BIG.
I was given a notice (envelope) to give my mom on my way home i open it to confirm the info it wasn't good for the eyes so I discharged the letter...
On Tuesday I was asked if I delivered the letter I said yes! after two days no respond from home...This yeye woman called my mom on phone on Friday morning Mumsy show for yard only to discover what's sup..
Anyways that day is a day to forget cause the beating was back to back from school to home....

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Dami12345: 6:21am On Mar 20, 2019
spiralwedge:
The summary of this thread is that Nigerian parents are the most violent. I was expecting to read beatings from the streets, teachers, friends, strangers or even police.

Shut the Bleep up!!! We all turned out alright. Most of those thieving politicians leaders, never had this treatment, the were the ones who were westernized and look at the shit we have. Even the bible says spare the rod....

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Nobody: 6:24am On Mar 20, 2019
No hard feelings my mum is a very nice person in fact she's my bestie I believe she was scared cos of my environment and you know our mothers with their punishment but as a child I hated her for sometime cos I never believed I stole I felt I just took my mum's money
Thobiy:

Mhen Your Mum Is Damn Brutal, What If You Die As A Result Of The Injury, I Just Don't Want To Believe This And That Was Why I Said You Were Not Her Child, Sorry If I Have Offended You By My Utterance .


I Will Like To Meet Your Mum Personally To Confirm.

2 Likes

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Nobody: 6:29am On Mar 20, 2019
Nigerian mothers and their way of upbringing and punishment but I learnt a lot from it but I can't do such to my child never
Paentera:


This is so traumatic

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by wizod(m): 6:36am On Mar 20, 2019
omojesu202:
that moi moi own ehnn...

if it was me, my mum will not still beat me, she will just say go n carry your food.
i can't remember that woman ever beating me
and it is over pampering dat made u a prodigal son.

1 Like

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by kaziblake(f): 6:40am On Mar 20, 2019
femi4:
you still look like one
I don't blame you.
Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by femi4: 6:41am On Mar 20, 2019
kaziblake:
I don't blame you.
haba, na joke now

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