raphretle:

Hmmmm.... Thanks so much that u understand me... I love this term you used : Glorified houseboy, that's exactly what is happening, they don't care about my own personal activities if they need my attention they expect me to just appear...
Not that I didn't love her, I loved her so much but I started feeling as if she is my sibling..cuz of how close I am to the family... It was not a planned something, I see her as a sister now

can you do business?
why don't you search for a better job or start a business.

When this is settled and you have full financial independence from her family you Can give the relationship a few months break. Not necessarily to break up with her but just reduce the calls and focus on your new job.

That way if you truely have love somewhere in your heart for the girl , it will be rekindled. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

If you marry her still serving her family YOU WILL CHEAT ON HER . You might even begin to despise her. Not because she reminds you of what she has done but because everyones body language expects you to be grateful

I don't think you are a bad person like everyone says. You have been honest so far in your story and you felt remorse when you set her up.

I also think you have falling in love with another woman. Which is OK. since you aren't married to this lady yet.

Let me tell you something op, don't mind this men on nairalanders coursing you. Most are hypocrites . Everyday, we hear girls crying of how they were there for their boyfriend and when he became rich he dumped them Tell me , are those boyfriends ghosts? not at all . The same men cursing you are guilty. Many cheat on their wives too.



The only thing I'll advice you not to do is waste the babes time

Marrying her out of guilt is a no no.
Both of you will regret it. Your kids too will suffer for it.

This awaits you over my niece....
https://www.nairaland.com/5099697/lady-curses-boyfriend-9-years#77003490

raphretle:

I loved her..so starting the relationship ain't a problem..

and wor makes u stopped loving her, after u don steal all d meat wey dey inside her pot finish abi, nna u dis guy take ur time oo

Bro, I want you to remember the first time you met her and think about the things that attracted you to her, that will help you to love her gradually.


Its better to marry the devil you know than the angel you don't know. Build her up to your taste, if you leave her to marry another lady you love but she didn't love you in return, then you'll know what you've missed.

Guy. I must tell you your village people are seriously after you.
Imagine what many of us are looking for. I don't want to insult you but has it been u looked for job for years u will appreciate what the uncle did for you. I don't normally write on Nairaland. I.e. (I'm among the comment reader association). But let me advice u for ur own good. There is no way you can stay with a lady for 5years and expect the love to be as before. Don't tell me you have never loved her, what u are experiencing is saturation and cos you thought u are fulfilled cos of the job. But let me shock you. If you leave that lady, u will surely regret it. The new lady that is turning up your head will some day come to the point of saturation in ur life. But disclpine, commitment and purpose keep us going in relationships. Pls if the lady is good without any bad character, marry her for ur own good. Spice up the relationship and move far away from her people. Cos if you do otherwise without any serious cause, I'm not a prophet of doom but Mark my words. It must surly hit u in a very bad way.

raphretle:
I have dated this lady for 5 years now, we are still dating.. we met during our undergraduate days, she has been a good person to me, very kind and supportive..
Here is the problem : All her family members know me.. Infact am like a son to them cause they do call on me for errands that need quick response, Infact her uncles(her dad is late n her mum got married) trust me wt money than her brothers ..Cuz she stays with her uncle..

After my NYSC, her uncle helped me secure a job with the highest academic Institution in Nigeria (NIPSS) ... Now they expect me to marry their daughter but to be frank I don't love the lady... I don't know how to just make her go away. I just want to avoid been controlled by her family, ... I tried to set her up so I could have something to hold on for the breakup to avoid her family's anger and any form of guilt.. but I end up pitying her and forgive her instead... I know they tried for me,i owe them alot..But how to get rid of her in an honorable way is what I don't know.....
You can call it wickedness if you like,but just give me the advice I need..
Ladies and Gentlemen Help a brother...

If only the lady can manage to read this post somehow, i believe she will move on. I want to say, may your daughter share this same fate as her, but am not God sha. Now u don't need her support anymore, and you want to get rid of her, shame unto you man.

By May, it would be my second wedding anniversary, though I am not totally fulfilled about marrying my wife, I haven't had good reasons to regret the decision.

You could say I had 2 babes then, with my wife being the less fancied. Life was being bit of unfair with me and I needed help which I imagined my favourite could muster, through her family (let me stress that I'm very forthright and not gold digging). I got a very rude shocker as regards my appeal for help, but was still willing to continue if only I would be given some break off some boyfriend responsibilities to nurture my new business.

Well, within a short period, some dangerous exposition and complications made it near impossible to continue with my favourite and I had to settle for my wife because man no get the power and time for any new shakara from new chics.

Favorite is doing extremely well and I am making good progress as well.

But, tell me, how can u sleep knowing u are hatching such treachery? What makes u think you can't cope with someone you don't love as much (since u used to love her) when the person is not disrespectful? What makes you think people will seek to control you when you don't offer the grounds for such?

Overall, you are adult enough to decide whatever payback to serve your gf for her good deeds, but remember to be responsible for the consequences that would follow because they would be grave.

raphretle:

Hmmmm.... Thanks so much that u understand me... I love this term you used : Glorified houseboy, that's exactly what is happening, they don't care about my own personal activities if they need my attention they expect me to just appear...
Not that I didn't love her, I loved her so much but I started feeling as if she is my sibling..cuz of how close I am to the family... It was not a planned something, I see her as a sister now

You see her as a sister now. But when you comot your preeq to fvck her she turns to girlfriend abi?

That love you had for her before, go and look for it where you kept it.

generationz:


can you do business?
why don't you search for a better job or start a business.

When this is settled and you have full financial independence from her family you Can give the relationship a few months break. Not necessarily to break up with her but just reduce the calls and focus on your new job.

That way if you truely have love somewhere in your heart for the girl , it will be rekindled. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

If you marry her still serving her family YOU WILL CHEAT ON HER . You might even begin to despise her. Not because she reminds you of what she has done but because everyones body language expects you to be grateful

I don't think you are a bad person like everyone says. You have been honest so far in your story and you felt remorse when you set her up.

I also think you have falling in love with another woman. Which is OK. since you aren't married to this lady yet.

Let me tell you something op, don't mind this men on nairalanders coursing you. Most are hypocrites . Everyday, we hear girls crying of how they were there for their boyfriend and when he became rich he dumped them Tell me , are those boyfriends ghosts? not at all . The same men cursing you are guilty. Many cheat on their wives too.



The only thing I'll advice you not to do is waste the babes time

Marrying her out of guilt is a no no.
Both of you will regret it. Your kids too will suffer for it.

Kindly put yourself, your younger sister, or your daughter in the shoes of this girl you are asking him to dump after sucking her dry for 5years.

I hope when Karma comes for him you will share it with him.

IntrovertedK:
you wanna be a man? Resign from the job her step Dad got you and walk away into a new life of your very own where you make your own decisions for your very own self. Chikena

Good man.

ike24:


Aunty u have so much hatred in ur heart u need JESUS

She Is getting closer to menopause, Thus for the ranting and nagging always.

Hammedolu:
My brother, I advice you to marry this lady.

You will not regret marrying this lady.

What's your definition of love? Please review and analyse your of terms.

Some years ago, I was in the same situation. I was dating a lady for 6years and her family has impacted in many ways. I eventually married her and we are happy. 9years on in the marriage, no regrets.

My brother, it is apparent God sent this lady to you. There are your Angels, if you miss it. You will definitely regret it 100%.

One of my uncle, who has trained has as a minister and we all know he has a call of God on him. Rejected an offer to be a Pastor in one of the churches established by his In-law when he was 35years old. He is 60years now, still begging to feed his family. The church now has branches in Nigeria and over 30 countries.

My brother, It is simply PRIDE. Nobody will control you.
Go ahead and marry her. They are your helpers.

A word is enough for the wise.

Thank you.

I think God is using you to speak to me

ElsonMorali:


Kindly put yourself, your younger sister, or your daughter in the shoes of this girl you are asking him to dump after sucking her dry for 5years.

I hope when Karma comes for him you will share it with him.

you are talking with emotions.
Im a woman.

My dear logically speaking g this relationship is a sinking ship


Are you advicing him to marry r out of pity ?

He will cheat on her. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

I'm an avid student of human. psychology

Never make a person feel like they owe you anything ( Robert Greene)
You might think they would be loyal. They see you as a burden.


When a woman is doing 95% of the spending in a relationship a man feels less than a man.

Men want to impress their woman. They want to feel they have conquered.

A woman responsible for her mans source of income will look like his mom in his eyes

That's what many women don't know.


forget karma , girls have to be wise and guard their heart.

you may think I hate the girl but I actually gave that advice because of her and their little kids.

A mans love comes from his ability to conquer and impress his queen.
A woman loves when she is cared for and her emotions understood.

if he marries her he will cheat on her and she will cry. He will cheat on her with a smaller poorer girl who will worship him when he gives her 10k or opens a shop for her mother.



she shouldn't have dated him.

she should have dated someone In her class who can impress her.

what does he want to do now that will impress her. if anything she will say he shouldn't bother because she is comfortable.

Biglittlelois:
I pray never to meet someone like you in Jesus' name, amen.

What can you offer except kpekus
Gerararahia jor

generationz:


you are talking with emotions.
Im a woman.

My dear logically speaking g this relationship is a sinking ship


Are you advicing him to marry r out of pity ?

He will cheat on her. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

I'm an avid student of human. psychology

Never make a person feel like they owe you anything ( Robert Greene)
You might think they would be loyal. They see you as a burden.


When a woman is doing 95% of the spending in a relationship a man feels less than a man.

Men want to impress their woman. They want to feel they have conquered.

A woman responsible for her mans source of income will look like his mom in his eyes

That's what many women don't know.


forget karma , girls have to be wise and guard their heart.

you may think I hate the girl but I actually gave that advice because of her and their little kids.

A mans love comes from his ability to conquer and impress his queen.
A woman loves when she is cared for and her emotions understood.

if he marries her he will cheat on her and she will cry. He will cheat on her with a smaller poorer girl who will worship him when he gives her 10k or opens a shop for her mother.



she shouldn't have dated him.

she should have dated someone In her class who can impress her.

what does he want to do now that will impress her. if anything she will say he shouldn't bother because she is comfortable.

We are always fond of mistaking infatuation for love. Real love has nothing to do with emotions but the will.

Why did he accept the help of the lady and her family?

Now he feels like she's a sister to him but doesn't mind boinking that same "sister" whenever he feels like.

Yeye dey smell for im body. He just wasted 5 years of that girl's life.

He is just an opportunist, that's all. He felt comfortable accepting the girl's help and support, now that it's all rosy for him he wants to dump her.

He should have broken up with her a long time ago, but kept on enjoying her financial support and sexual dalliance. Now he's met a prettier girl he wants to leave. So not fair. If he can stand her enough to put his preeq inside of her then he can will himself to love her.

Every man should have a rule in life. Never sleep with a girl you cannot marry.

As for asking the lady to date someone in her class. Really? Is that really how love works? I wish we could choose who we fall in love with.

generationz:


can you do business?
why don't you search for a better job or start a business.

When this is settled and you have full financial independence from her family you Can give the relationship a few months break. Not necessarily to break up with her but just reduce the calls and focus on your new job.

That way if you truely have love somewhere in your heart for the girl , it will be rekindled. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

If you marry her still serving her family YOU WILL CHEAT ON HER . You might even begin to despise her. Not because she reminds you of what she has done but because everyones body language expects you to be grateful

I don't think you are a bad person like everyone says. You have been honest so far in your story and you felt remorse when you set her up.

I also think you have falling in love with another woman. Which is OK. since you aren't married to this lady yet.

Let me tell you something op, don't mind this men on nairalanders coursing you. Most are hypocrites . Everyday, we hear girls crying of how they were there for their boyfriend and when he became rich he dumped them Tell me , are those boyfriends ghosts? not at all . The same men cursing you are guilty. Many cheat on their wives too.



The only thing I'll advice you not to do is waste the babes time

Marrying her out of guilt is a no no.
Both of you will regret it. Your kids too will suffer for it.

Thanks I Appreciate

generationz:


can you do business?
why don't you search for a better job or start a business.

When this is settled and you have full financial independence from her family you Can give the relationship a few months break. Not necessarily to break up with her but just reduce the calls and focus on your new job.

That way if you truely have love somewhere in your heart for the girl , it will be rekindled. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

If you marry her still serving her family YOU WILL CHEAT ON HER . You might even begin to despise her. Not because she reminds you of what she has done but because everyones body language expects you to be grateful

I don't think you are a bad person like everyone says. You have been honest so far in your story and you felt remorse when you set her up.

I also think you have falling in love with another woman. Which is OK. since you aren't married to this lady yet.

Let me tell you something op, don't mind this men on nairalanders coursing you. Most are hypocrites . Everyday, we hear girls crying of how they were there for their boyfriend and when he became rich he dumped them Tell me , are those boyfriends ghosts? not at all . The same men cursing you are guilty. Many cheat on their wives too.



The only thing I'll advice you not to do is waste the babes time

Marrying her out of guilt is a no no.
Both of you will regret it. Your kids too will suffer for it.

See who you think is a fair person, such vile human being.

raphretle:
I have dated this lady for 5 years now, we are still dating.. we met during our undergraduate days, she has been a good person to me, very kind and supportive..
Here is the problem : All her family members know me.. Infact am like a son to them cause they do call on me for errands that need quick response, Infact her uncles(her dad is late n her mum got married) trust me wt money than her brothers ..Cuz she stays with her uncle..

After my NYSC, her uncle helped me secure a job with the highest academic Institution in Nigeria (NIPSS) ... Now they expect me to marry their daughter but to be frank I don't love the lady... I don't know how to just make her go away. I just want to avoid been controlled by her family, ... I tried to set her up so I could have something to hold on for the breakup to avoid her family's anger and any form of guilt.. but I end up pitying her and forgive her instead... I know they tried for me,i owe them alot..But how to get rid of her in an honorable way is what I don't know.....
You can call it wickedness if you like,but just give me the advice I need..
Ladies and Gentlemen Help a brother...

WTF! Do not be stupid to think you will be vindicated by satisfying your puny conscience, for all the years you dated her and positioned yourself in a place of trust with her family, you never knew she wasn't good enough but now that you have been uplifted to a position of grace and now fvcking younger pussies, you no longer think she's attractive enough or love her. You are one one ungrateful son of a bitch, do you even listen to yourself, anyone endorsing this lame,weak and stupid excuse of yours must be sick. The moment you are able to give her back the time lost and repay every ounce of trust bequeathed on you by that family and the sacrifices they have made on your behalf for the sake of their daughter then would the heavens accept any excuse you wish to tender

JustBeing:


See who you think is a fair person, such vile human being.

lol we HV many investigators on nairaland o. I pity d girl and I just hope d OP breaks up with her else, she'll suffer in d marriage. OP is not a good person. d reason why he's being careful not to just breakup anyhow is cos he's scared of what d girls family will do. he doesn't want to b seen to b at fault in d break up. sure if he break's up , he will still wanna keep ties with the girls family that he claims has made him a glorified houseboy. he's the very calculative type; an evil genius. lolz

JustBeing:


See who you think is a fair person, such vile human being.

don't you think the girl will be lucky to be free from him?

I don't get why everyone is telling him to marry her. it will just be a marriage out of pity. Nothing more.

He is already detached from that relationship.

"I never wanted to marry her but friends and family pressurised me too and now we are sooo in love and happy together" said no one ever.

A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

optm:
lol we HV many investigators on nairaland o. I pity d girl and I just hope d OP breaks up with her else, she'll suffer in d marriage. OP is not a good person. d reason why he's being careful not to just breakup anyhow is cos he's scared of what d girls family will do. he doesn't want to b seen to b at fault in d break up. sure if he break's up , he will still wanna keep ties with the girls family that he claims has made him a glorified houseboy. he's the very calculative type; an evil genius. lolz

I know his type and have personally dealt with one. They use you and suck you dry. Not just financially, but emotionally, verbally, sexually till you have nothing left to give. They lead you on and wait till you break up with them, he doesn't have the balls to break up with her.

I pray God gives the girl the discernment to leave his sorry ass cos this guy has the traits of a narcissist and no one can truly be happy with narcissists cos they don't have the capacity to experience emotions such as love and empathy.

generationz:


don't you think the girl will be lucky to be free from him?

I don't get why everyone is telling him to marry her. it will just be a marriage out of pity. Nothing more.

He is already detached from that relationship.

"I never wanted to marry her but friends and family pressurised me too and now we are sooo in love and happy together" said no one ever.

A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

Sure, that girl doesn't deserve to end up with him, I advised so too. But you stroking his ego and feeding him lies about not being 'a bad person' and calling others hypocrites for calling him out on his evil doing is my grouse.

Read up on narcissistic relationships and you'll see the patterns. This guy clearly used that girl and no one capable of such is a good person. People aren't objects to be used. Think of the girl, this guy isn't going to break up with her anytime soon, he'll keep using her till she either decides to move on cos she can't stand the uncertainty or he'll discard her in the worst way possible.

Either way think of the emotional trauma she'll go through from that. I've been there, no good person puts you through such especially knowing you love/d them.
Again people like the OP are skilled at manipulation so that part of feigning gratefulness but can't marry a girl he decieved for 5 yrs is clear manipulation.

My problem here is that yes you dont love the girl. So why continue the relationship for 5 years? Why waste her time? Why not quite right from time? Who do you u think should marry her now? Do you mean you didnt notice the fact that u dont love her all these years? If somebody does this to your sister, how will u feel? What is her offence against u? Many questions to answer. My brother, to be fair to you, you owe this lady nothing but marriage if you want justice. But walk away and live with the guilt for the rest of your life. This is emotional corruption.

For five good years you didn't realize...
Then you tried setting her up. Can you listen to yourself? Very bad of u.

U know from d beginning dat it will surely end up like dis... I mean d family trying to control u. But because of d benefits u continued d journey.

Don't marry someone u don't love. But u will have to tender ur resignation letter. Later,,, talk to her about ur decision. After all u don't want d family to control u abi? Be a man.. Be in full control of ur damn self..

PS = I don enter such relationship b4,,though it didn't take me up to four months to know where d relationship dey go.
Some of dis rich homie go think say dem dey do u a great favour by allowing u to date dia daughter.

JustBeing:


Sure, that girl doesn't deserve to end up with him, I advised so too. But you stroking his ego and feeding him lies about not being 'a bad person' and calling others hypocrites for calling him out on his evil doing is my grouse.

Read up on narcissistic relationships and you'll see the patterns. This guy clearly used that girl and no one capable of such is a good person. People aren't objects to be used. Think of the girl, this guy isn't going to break up with her anytime soon, he'll keep using her till she either decides to move on cos she can't stand the uncertainty or he'll discard her in the worst way possible.

Either way think of the emotional trauma she'll go through from that. I've been there, no good person puts you through such especially knowing you love/d them.
Again people like the OP are skilled at manipulation so that part of feigning gratefulness but can't marry a girl he decieved for 5 yrs is clear manipulation.

off course he is still there for the benefits

but I doubt he is a narcissist

If he was one he wouldn't even create a topic on this issue.
if he was one he wouldn't feel remorse for setting her up

He might as well marry her and do away with her (after kids) as we see in movies

like I said to someone else I'm an avid researcher on human psychology

everyone has a good and bad side to them except those who suffer from mental disorder

No body is 100% pious and nobody is 100% evil

Circumstances in life are responsible for bringing out this aspect in us.

You wouldevil surprised to know that noble men who were epitomes of self sacrifice like ghandi and Mandela share the same personality type as Adolf Hitler
yes they were all melancholic phlegmatics or infjs

But the world will say Hitler was evil and Gandhi was noble .

do you know that some people who knew Hitler personally would say he was the sweetest man ever.
some would say Gandhi was wicked.

I hope I haven't confused you lol

I'm just someone who loves to look beyond the surface and consider every aspect before passing judgement


and yes I still hold that most people condemning hi. are hypocrites.

is it not eh same nairalanders that men encourage rape when they say "if she enter your house she must fVck " even if she doesn't give consent.
is it not the same nairaland that men continuously call women sluts
men who encourage their fellow men to cheat on their wives

go to joros blog, countless stories of girls who helped their boyfriends rise and got dumped. Fed him, house him, give him her savings to start a business ,help him get a loan etc only to be dumped when he made it

Tales of sad wives nko. when the husbands were out of jobs for years how they held the family together. only for him to make money and start cheating neglecting his duties.

Are all those men ghosts? or the same goodytwo shoes we that will still form Saints here on nairaland.

My best advice is for op to just stop wasting the girls time but forcing him to marry her is impossible.

Dating or marriage merely out of gratitude without love involved is a ticking time bomb that's why I'm not surprised when girls dump men who practically saw them through school to date a broke guy they love.

it is better you understand how human psychology works to avoid being a victim like the lady in the ops story.

I recommend for you and anyone else interested to digest Robert Greene's books

Unconditional love is a fallacy

raphretle:

I loved her..so starting the relationship ain't a problem..

so u don't love her again why?? Coz u have seen another whorw out there who wanna destroy all that she did for you... beware of karma bro

IntrovertedK:
you wanna be a man? Resign from the job her step Dad got you and walk away into a new life of your very own where you make your own decisions for your very own self. Chikena

not just only resigning... U get to pay back whatever salary dey have paid u too

Well am thinking about this guy but he is lucky to have all that except for the lady in question her own character. I love my wife but my own love alone is not enough to sustain our marriage, her own love is needed more so guy please take your time. Because love cannot maintain the same taste or flavor but we sustain it with old and search for new ways of adding more flavors. You are sincere but you should go back to the drawing board list out the things you want and see if she is in the picture, remember if this love can still be considered after 5 years it will be stronger in the next years because you made it through this storm.I call storm because it's trying time for you but pray to God i believe he will see you through. Na you go come back come testify. Good luck

generationz:


off course he is still there for the benefits

but I doubt he is a narcissist

If he was one he wouldn't even create a topic on this issue.
if he was one he wouldn't feel remorse for setting her up

He might as well marry her and do away with her (after kids) as we see in movies

like I said to someone else I'm an avid researcher on human psychology

everyone has a good and bad side to them except those who suffer from mental disorder

No body is 100% pious and nobody is 100% evil

Circumstances in life are responsible for bringing out this aspect in us.

You wouldevil surprised to know that noble men who were epitomes of self sacrifice like ghandi and Mandela share the same personality type as Adolf Hitler
yes they were all melancholic phlegmatics or infjs

But the world will say Hitler was evil and Gandhi was noble .

do you know that some people who knew Hitler personally would say he was the sweetest man ever.
e would say Gandhi was wicked.

I hope I haven't confused you lol

I'm just someone who loves to look beyond the surface and consider every aspect before passing judgement


and yes I still hold that most people condemning hi. are hypocrites.

is it not eh same nairalanders that men encourage rape when they say "if she enter your house she must fVck " even if she doesn't give consent.
is it not the same nairaland that men continuously call women sluts
men who encourage their fellow men to cheat on their wives

go to joros blog, countless stories of girls who helped their boyfriends rise and got dumped. Fed him, house him, give him her savings to start a business ,help him get a loan etc only to be dumped when he made it

Tales of sad wives nko. when the husbands were out of jobs for years how they held the family together. only for him to make money and start cheating neglecting his duties.

Are all those men ghosts? or the same goodytwo shoes we that will still form Saints here on nairaland.

My best advice is for op to just stop wasting the girls time but forcing him to marry her is impossible.

Dating or marriage merely out of gratitude without love involved is a ticking time bomb that's why I'm not surprised when girls dump men who practically saw them through school to date a broke guy they love.

it is better you understand how human psychology works to avoid being a victim like the lady in the ops story.

I recommend for you and anyone else interested to digest Robert Greene's books

Unconditional love is a fallacy

Go on quora where practicing and certified psychologists, therapists and personality experts have an ongoing conversation on NPD. Read up on narssicists and narsiccitic relationships and you'll see they don't follow a set particular/behavioural pattern.

A narcissist will be anything he wants to be including remorseful, but the only clear pattern is they must put themselves first, at the expense of others...that's the only constant with them.

Your ideals to see the good in evil people is why good people get ensnared in the traps of people with the dark traid personality. Quit leading people on with such beliefs. Again go on quora, psychology.com plus other sites with loads on the dark traid personality and the first advise you read or hear is run! Where you're looking for the good sides, they're working their evil magic on you. Because, that your there is good and evil in everyone na fallacy, some people are just pure evil and every good you see is projected. Their ability to manipulate, mirror, charm is the good you and others see in them.

About being their victim, you're most likely to fall in that trap believing all people can be good and bad. I know better and knowing better means knowing some people have no good in them. Go and read accounts by peeps with diagnosed NPD. Read how evil and calculating a human mind can be. Read how sick in the head a person can be. Read how life is only about them.

A good person will not think about setting up a girl to break up with her, a girl he described as kind and supportive. Don't get me wrong, I'm all up for breaking up that relationship, it's doomed apparently.

Nobody here said anything about loving unconditionally. Married people too fall out of love. Nobody should marry someone they do not love but at what point did he discover he stopped loving her? I cant imagine he was with her for 5 years and it's just now he realised he doesn't love her. He should tell us the full story, did he meet someone new? Did he recently realise she's got flaws he may be fixated on? The OP is sneaky, there's more to it. Apparently he's a playboy from his other post or this story we're dragging back and forth na tales by moon light.

I'm done here jare, thank God I had this conversation with someone civil as i hate engaging in nairaland discussions to avoid insults. Have a nice day friend.

obytex:
Guy. I must tell you your village people are seriously after you.
Imagine what many of us are looking for. I don't want to insult you but has it been u looked for job for years u will appreciate what the uncle did for you. I don't normally write on Nairaland. I.e. (I'm among the comment reader association). But let me advice u for ur own good. There is no way you can stay with a lady for 5years and expect the love to be as before. Don't tell me you have never loved her, what u are experiencing is saturation and cos you thought u are fulfilled cos of the job. But let me shock you. If you leave that lady, u will surely regret it. The new lady that is turning up your head will some day come to the point of saturation in ur life. But disclpine, commitment and purpose keep us going in relationships. Pls if the lady is good without any bad character, marry her for ur own good. Spice up the relationship and move far away from her people. Cos if you do otherwise without any serious cause, I'm not a prophet of doom but Mark my words. It must surly hit u in a very bad way.

Thanks

JustBeing:


I know his type and have personally dealt with one. They use you and suck you dry. Not just financially, but emotionally, verbally, sexually till you have nothing left to give. They lead you on and wait till you break up with them, he doesn't have the balls to break up with her.

I pray God gives the girl the discernment to leave his sorry ass cos this guy has the traits of a narcissist and no one can truly be happy with narcissists cos they don't have the capacity to experience emotions such as love and empathy.

Atleast she is still young... Nothing like I wasted her time...

Davash222:
Obviously, you used the girl as a ladder to get to where you are today.

What are the things that are stopping you from loving her?? You can always help her to become the woman of your dream.

No one is perfect or complete. It rains everywhere.

Be wise.

it was not a planned something