XhosaNostra:


I read it well. Unless she made a few changes after my comment of which I'm not responsible for. But my initial comment was in response to what I read.

@XhosaNostra i made no changes at all as my reply to u almost immediately after ur insensitive reply is still thr, take full responsibility for ur comment without still trying to blame me

Prognose:


HI there!

It's been 7 months since you got pregnant. The same way you had you doubts about keeping the baby at first is the same way he is having doubts now about whether the baby is his.

It's been 7months. I'm sure he was surprisingly shocked to hear he had impregnated someone and he's been happily going around telling all his friends that he's going to be a dad. Well, not all friends are good friends. In this 7 months I'm sure he's told a not so good friend about the news and that friend has sown a seed of doubt and discord in him.

"Bro this one you're so happy, are you sure the baby is even yours? Didn't u say you're infertile? You can't trust these women bro, they're very deceptive. Etc."

Now this "friend" may never even have met you but because he is evil minded he is ready to judge you from afar. Unfortunately your man has listened because deep down he may have thought he would never father a child and all this seems too good to be true.

Forgive him. He's being human. Nobody, nobody is perfect.

When you have that baby and show him the DNA results that it is actually his, he will serve the world to you on a silver platter. He will say "I told you so!!!" to that his evil friend that you don't know. And you guys will live happily ever after.

But if you give up now, well, evil will win.

Be patient with him. That's what love means. Be patient and wait for your vindication and victory.

Cheers.

@prognose

Well said, thanks much , am almost there so hopefully it will be sorted and i forgive , just most things can’t easily be forgotten

Amhappy:


You said she has no rights because they are not married. That her right starts when she gives birth. So the baby in the womb is not a baby Abi. Baby in the womb doesn't eat, doesn't need medical checks,does need father but when he or she is born, he will suddenly become human Don't you know a baby in the womb can die if not taken care of? A baby may develop improperly without good nutrition,a baby can get sick, a baby start hearing voices in the womb. That was the most insensitive comment you made to a pregnant woman. And I so wish you the same.

Let me start with the bolded

There's nothing that you wish on me that I can or will not overcome. Every pound of flesh on me wasn't grafted from my mother's pussy. I'm as tough as nails & can face any challenge head-on. I cannot...read that slowly...I cannot stand weakness from a male or female. So someone is facing a temporary personal challenge, which happens a lot in life. Oh Whoopie doo! Is it the end of the world? Must we now all sob in our teacups? I'm not built for that. I will say my piece how I wanna say it & leave at that. Get THAT! If you guys wanna focus on the emotional aspect instead of providing a pragmatic solution to the situation, that's on you. I don't have time for that. I deal with other people's issues the same way I handle mine. Direct & to the point. No time wasted sniffling like that ever solves anything. No amount of coddling is going to erase what happened. So why not focus on something that'll ensure that the situation doesn't get any worse than it already has? That my dear, is the different between myself & the rest of you bleeding hearts on this thread.

The rest of what you said is fantastical at best. Quite frankly, I don't care for it. So save it!

andyanders:


You are not helpful herein no matter how right you sound. Op explained what she is passing through with a man who first assured her of standing by her during her pregnancy and here he is, doubting if he is the person that is responsible for her pregnancy.

I am a man and understand what a woman goes through during pregnancy. If he is a real man, why not for the sake of the unborn child, see her through this trying period and after this, then seek for whatever means of determining the DNA of the child.

For me, the man is wicked and if the lady has the resources, let her take care of the baby.

Men should not put a woman through pregnancy and abandon such a woman because that is the only time she needs help

@andyanders thanks so much bro, glad u understand where am coming from, i can care for my baby on my own , just don’t want to come off as wicked or bitter also not to deny innocent child father figure because I know wen he confirms the baby is his he will come around because this child means the world to him and his family just there they r not sure now but why not hang on to ascertain who’s lying

naijaobi:


He's German? I am not sure a German will do all you said here..

@naijaobi why u doubt ? Cos all German are saints? Smh

CiciReally:


@XhosaNostra i made no changes at all as my reply to u almost immediately after ur insensitive reply is still thr, take full responsibility for ur comment without still trying to blame me

Like I said, I don't know whether you did or didn't. I'm not gonna reread your post, so whatever.
So you're waiting for a retraction from me? Fat chance! I still stand by what I wrote. Nothing has changed since last night. Put on your big girl panties & handle this like someone that partook in the fucking, but don't be a petty cow about it like you're planning to be. Your child needs both his or her parents in his/her life.

XhosaNostra:


Your comment came hours later. I don't know if she made changes to her story or not, but I'm not gonna restructure my initial post to fit the new narrative. Sue me.

@XhosaNostra for heaven sake pls stop saying i changed my story cos i didn’t alter anything, why are u like this dear? Not nice pls

CiciReally:

@XhosaNostra for heaven sake pls stop saying i changed my story cos i didn’t alter anything, why are u like this dear? Not nice pls

I said "I don't know". How that me making shit up?

this is the real IVAR ...this boyfriend must be a "got" (In Viking's voice)

legreat:
Some of the comments here to you are insensitive and harsh maybe by people who have never carried a child. Thank you to the first person at commented.

Please take heart! It is always best to be secure in a marriage before mating. However, everyone’s story and path is different and God turns all situations for the good of those who believe. There are indications that you are carrying a child with unique and significant destiny. Every great future attracts great distractions. The man is not himself. Even a lot of married men misbehave during their wive’s pregnancy. I have 4 boys and the experience with each child for my wife has been different. There was one child that we thought this is the end of our marriage. Life is a movement against frictions or opposition. Please rise above the hurts, forgive in advance, cry when you need to, but speak daily to he child in your womb. Tell the child, mummy loves you. Daddy loves you. You’re a blessing to us and to the world. Play soft music whiles you are sleeping.

Finally, the fact that you carry a child for a man does not mean he is your husband. Time would not permit to tell you about one of my best friends, who came back to live in the city of her birth, became homeless and got pregnant for the man who offered a house. She went through hell, I look back today, the child is now on route to Univeristy, she is now married with two other children. Then, she was studying for first degree, now she has PHD and a good jobs with great business in London. We cried together during her pain, but today we laugh about it. The man might be yours, but focus on this child first.

I pray, you get angels visit you in human form to comfort you. Please, don’t harbour bitterness. The child is not a mistake. Selah.

@legreat thanks so much sir, bless u much

I almost punch my phone when I saw that XhosaNostra comment, but now I'm very pleased with the amount of commenters that pounced on her. Thank you everyone.

Read what i wrote. SLOWLY>>>>>>>>>>>>>

fabienjoe:


'He's probably not desperate for the baby' so what does he care if you deny him access? Truth is, if you feel so lonely and stressed going it alone in pregnancy, you would feel even more so bringing up a child alone. Common sense should prevail here. He has valid reasons to doubt the paternity of the baby. All he needs is reassurance. I see nothing wrong with a prenup. A prenup should usually take the baby into consideration. Only gold diggers are afraid of prenup. And that could explain your anxiety. The only weapon you seem to have in all these is the baby whom he may not be very keen on anyway. Talk things over with him and if he insists on DNA test, why not...unless there is something you don't want him to know. Stop the drama..

XhosaNostra:


Like I said, I don't know whether you did or didn't. I'm not gonna reread your post, so whatever.
So you're waiting for a retraction from me? Fat chance! I still stand by what I wrote. Nothing has changed since last night. Put on your big girl panties & handle this like someone that partook in the fucking, but don't be a petty cow about it like you're planning to be. Your child needs both his or her parents in his/her life.

Dear @XhosaNostra not waiting for u to kiss my hurting ass just correcting where u lied that i May have changed my post QED. Stay stoned

CiciReally:

Dear @XhosaNostra not waiting for u to kiss my hurting ass just correcting where u lied that i May have changed my post QED. Stay stoned

Can you please ignore that mentally disturbed being and take the advice sensible people have given?

Hopefully that guy will come around and trust you more than anyone else. Every phase in life is a challenge, you're facing one, and you pulling through it is determined by the amount of strength you put out in overcoming the challenge. You and the baby are gonna do fine, with or without him. Take care.

Daretee:
I almost punch my phone when I saw that XhosaNostra comment, but now I'm very pleased with the amount of commenters that pounced on her. Thank you everyone.

Haaa! Like I care.

CiciReally:

Dear @XhosaNostra not waiting for u to kiss my hurting ass just correcting where u lied that i May have changed my post QED. Stay stoned

Show me the part where I said you lied. Of course I'm not going to kiss your ass. We have an understanding on that at least.

Opiletool:


Can you please ignore that mentally disturbed being and take the advice sensible people have given?

Hopefully that guy will come around and trust you more than anyone else. Every phase in life is a challenge, you're facing one, and you pulling through it is determined by the amount of strength you put out in overcoming the challenge. You and the baby are gonna do fine, with or without him. Take care.

Yes, she must

Elliot2:
lol. baba hwfa n

I regard you bros

dingbang:
so this is the new trick to have sex with a girl without condom

ehn and iyam shocked na even a white man jus do this format. I thought they said white men are honest.

dingbang:
I regard you bros

na me tuale pass. how far for d job side,any thing for your boy? i don pm you my skills as asked o. I fit do am on formal level if you want sef. Baba I beg epp somebori pikin. Thanks***

Opiletool:


Can you please ignore that mentally disturbed being and take the advice sensible people have given?

Hopefully that guy will come around and trust you more than anyone else. Every phase in life is a challenge, you're facing one, and you pulling through it is determined by the amount of strength you put out in overcoming the challenge. You and the baby are gonna do fine, with or without him. Take care.

Thanks so much to everyone for ur candid advice, I picked smtin from every comment with good hrt, I feel much better and yes i will stay positive , no nagging or unnecessary over reacting till my lil angel is here as i have no tiny doubt is hundred percent his, May God perfect all that concern us. Amen

CiciReally:

@XhosaNostra Pls dear read carefully before judging or calling me bitter and tagging me dramatic, coming from a fellow woman, is it okey that he got me in this situation then backed out? To come back wen the storm is over, what sort of man or father is he? What will it cost him to stand by me till is time to confirm his doubt, I hav no issue if he doesn’t even pay the bills but that support mean the world, am new to this no friends or family around but him.

ma'am I can feel you, but since you are a Nigerian no one believes you don't cheat, we all know how 50/60 % Nigerians out there can be unfaithful in all they do, you might be one of the few good people but who will believe that. I'll advise you, Have your baby, go for the test, if the guy wants you back , fine, marry him.

dingbang:
so this is the new trick to have sex with a girl without condom

Why would any sensible man want to regard this as a "trick"? Oya no use condom na. HIV will pass freely into your system.

aanuoluwami14:



He lied to you, also took an advantage of you. Just ignore him and start to take good care of yourself and the baby. You have learnt your lessons

How do you know he lied? 90% infertility still makes it possible to impregnate a woman.

CiciReally:

@XhosaNostra Pls dear read carefully before judging or calling me bitter and tagging me dramatic, coming from a fellow woman, is it okey that he got me in this situation then backed out? To come back wen the storm is over, what sort of man or father is he? What will it cost him to stand by me till is time to confirm his doubt, I hav no issue if he doesn’t even pay the bills but that support mean the world, am new to this no friends or family around but him.

Babe, I really understand how u are feeling. Just take it easy. In life we humans are bound to changes. You are with a wonderful gift, make yourself happy and try and put aside how he neglected u for Ur baby sake. After the DNA, let's see how he will treat u.

Just be strong for u and Ur baby. God will see u through.

Taduma1:
ma'am I can feel you, but since you are a Nigerian no one believes you don't cheat, we all know how 50/60 % Nigerians out there can be unfaithful in all they do, you might be one of the few good people but who will believe that. I'll advise you, Have your baby, go for the test, if the guy wants you back , fine, marry him.

So whites don't cheat ABI?

He is German and goes to some church on the mountain is he C.A.C? This looks like sakamanje

CiciReally:
Hello every one, am new here, I hope I can get advice and answer to my confusion and challenge

I been dating my man for almost 2 years, Am Nigerian he’s german, he was open to me from beginning about having some infertility issue, he opened up after we had sex unprotected one day and i was worried about him getting a pill because it happened in his country.

He told me not to worry that he can’t father a child 90% so since then we been doing it unprotected and I never missed my period for a day, fast forward to after a year plus I missed my period after we spend my birthday together, being that i never cheated, I msg him asking him on scale of 1 to 100 how sure he is that he can’t father a child, he said 90%, I waited for another week still nothing so i did test and behold am pregnant, he was excited and insisted I must keep it as he never got any woman pregnant and it might be his only chance, I was troubled, always scared of 9 months, I hate hospital and all that challenges that come with pregnant.

I tried to convince him so we get rid of it but he refused and promised to be there for me.

Now 7 months into the pregnancy his behavior changed, from beginning he doesn’t pay for everything i need, hospital bills etc, I do most things on my own cos i felt he’s holding back cos he’s in doubt the baby is his, now flashback to wen i took in he confessed to me how he been going to sm special church in mountain that’s known for helping pple with his issue, prolly God heard his prayer, suddenly he changed, we agreed to get married so my family will get off my neck etc but now he’s giving me conditions, prenup and DNA after baby is born.

I have no issue with any of that but how he always bring it up, I am so hurt, I cry daily cos am � sure baby is his, only asked him to support fully as he promised till baby is born but his family and friends discouraging him, now will it be wicked of me to cut him off have my baby send him a pic, have him do DNA then deny him right to own him?? Cos i don’t think i all ever forget how he treated me the time i needed him most.

Relax my dear..
His only fear is that “he is confused how he got you pregnant with his infertility issues”.. He himself is still doubting if you're pregnant even,, and if yes (of course it is Yes), then 90% it could not be him.. (I guess you know 90% naa)..
So relax, he is seriously fighting an internal battle with himself every time, and only the birth of the child (DNA scan) would give him internal peace..
I understand your worries.. I understand his worries too.

CiciReally:
Thanks so much, just concerned about safe delivery now, definitely won’t be that wicked to deny him right to see his child just that it hurts so much and am stuck with him for long as the child bind us. Ur answers r relieving

You can guess right.. Once the child is confirmed his, him and all his family will make you a queen overnight.
You will just forget this very treatment they are giving you now..

Did i hear you say you called him to reask him again and even asked him for the chances,is that not you "despite knowing you didn't cheat" doubting it yourself,if you did why do you feel he should not,you are pregnant and even upon him being straight forward with you about his condition you suggested abortion abi??, Funny you,devil want to play Scrabble with you,an your attitude is what he is gonna use,you want him to beg you because you feel you are doing him a favour.silly soul

mamaafrik:
Did i hear you say you called him to reask him again and even asked him for the chances,is that not you "despite knowing you didn't cheat" doubting it yourself,if you did why do you feel he should not,you are pregnant and even upon him being straight forward with you about his condition you suggested abortion abi??, Funny you,devil want to play Scrabble with you,an your attitude is what he is gonna use,you want him to beg you because you feel you are doing him a favour.silly soul

@mamaafrik pls read carefully b4 calling ur self silly soul, wen i missed my period i called to ask him if he’s sure he can’t father a child cos a period can delay and it could be pregnancy since he’s only one am with, if i did sleep with another man i will never ask him knowing his medical conditions so he suggested i wait a week more to run a test
, suggesting abortion was wrong but only cos i wasn’t ready or planned it, many stuff going in my life as per school and work so pls stories like ds are summaries not detailed, ask question b4 jumping to conclusion

CiciReally:

@naijaobi why u doubt ? Cos all German are saints? Smh

A German will go to a "special church" in mountain to pray
Tell me another story