lilbabe79:
Hi
I have this male friend I’ve known for almost 20 years. He courted me back in the days but I was not available so we remained friends so far. Life keeps pulling us apart and bringing us closer (geographically). He now lives on the other side of the world but we cal each other all the time. He’s my best friend, support and confident. He knows everything about me and I about him.
We talk a lot, laugh to the same things etc.

We stayed at each other’s place multiple times over the years, even sharing a bed now and there but he never tried anything

Now we are both 40 with a few failed relationships under our belt.
He keeps telling me how he wants to settle and start a family. We talk a lot about the fact that the best way to go is marry your best friend, someone you really know and so on.

I have this odd feeling that he’s trying to test the waters with me but he never says anything definitive

I’m really wondering if I should make the first move and tell him we should give it a try.
I’ve never done such thing in my life and I’m afraid he would say no. If he does, our friendship would probably take a hit.

What do you suggest ?

I thought one of the perks being that age is being straight forward, let him know because you guys don't have that much time to do back and forth. All the best

IvarTheHorrible:


If after 20 years, he hasn't made a move, he's

1. A gay or

2. Impotent or

3. Just not into you.

4. ALL of the above.


20 years in Friendzone is a lifetime!

As in even 6 years with someone I would already know what role I want to play 6 too much sef

how can a person rear a fowl for 20years without eating it, how is that possible? well shoot your shot to avoid future regret

20 years of friend zoning is quite a long one. The guy is definitely not into you. He enjoys your friendship but not companionship. The probability that you are not attracted to him physically is very high. However, to clear your doubts, talk to him one on one. Both of you should be able, as adults, to open up how you genuinely feel about each other. This should be done with the mind set that whatever the outcome is, you remain friends.

thats what I would have said...me and MY ex were best friends ..we were so in love but I wouldn,t know if it was distance or adventure....she said we should continue been best friends and try some one else..but then u still have to ask the guy and pray to GOd...and try to listen to GOd not what you want...trust me u will be fine

Wettoid123:
Marriage is a different institution entirely,d fact that u were best of friends is not a yardstick that he is d best option to settler down with,,pray to God for direction.

Olulinks:
Best submission on how she should go about it! But I think her worry is, should she do it at all?

Yes, she should. Honestly there's no harm in trial. It's even easier to say to an old time friend than to someone you just started a relationship with.

if u dont make move on ur best friend, is it on ur worst enemy u gotta make it?

Magnifik18:


Golden!

Just when I was about to give up on this forum. Didn't know some mature minds are here.

Thanks for restoring my hope.

You are welcome. In life, it is better to try and lose than not making an effort /attempt at all.

springtech:


I doff my hat sir.
Professor of Romance
Minister of love affairs

I actually love your suggested approach.

Thank you. I am a Ma though. Not a Sir.

highdon:





did u study dis in school

. No, I didn't.

Rosarie:
He is not into you. He knows ur flaws and good sides. He has choosen it'ss best he remains friends cos he can not marry you. If not he would have long made the move. If u date him;u will not be happy cos it will be a one sided thing. Some relationship are best left the way they are

You're smart

extremelygolden:



Thank you. I am a Ma though. Not a Sir.

Ok.
Noted. Will edit my post ro reflect d right gender.

After what period should dating couples stop speaking English ❓

Because I am tired biko...�

Now you know how it feels to contemplate rejection! When he was wooing you in the past did you know what he went through?
Be courageous and shoot your shot and if he says no, then just like before, the friendship continues! If it did not crash when he made the move ,why should it crash when you make the move?

lilbabe79:
Hi
I have this male friend I’ve known for almost 20 years. He courted me back in the days but I was not available so we remained friends so far. Life keeps pulling us apart and bringing us closer (geographically). He now lives on the other side of the world but we cal each other all the time. He’s my best friend, support and confident. He knows everything about me and I about him.
We talk a lot, laugh to the same things etc.

We stayed at each other’s place multiple times over the years, even sharing a bed now and there but he never tried anything

Now we are both 40 with a few failed relationships under our belt.
He keeps telling me how he wants to settle and start a family. We talk a lot about the fact that the best way to go is marry your best friend, someone you really know and so on.

I have this odd feeling that he’s trying to test the waters with me but he never says anything definitive

I’m really wondering if I should make the first move and tell him we should give it a try.
I’ve never done such thing in my life and I’m afraid he would say no. If he does, our friendship would probably take a hit.

What do you suggest ?

He made the move before she did not accept. Not every body has courage to try rejection twice! She was the one that rejected so she can go back to accept 20yrs after!

Rosarie:
He is not into you.
He knows ur flaws and good sides.
He has choosen it'ss best he remains friends cos he can not marry you.
If not he would have long made the move.
If u date him;u will not be happy cos it will be a one sided thing.
Some relationship are best left the way they are

esecoal:
thats what I would have said...me and MY ex were best friends ..we were so in love but I wouldn,t know if it was distance or adventure....she said we should continue been best friends and try some one else..but then u still have to ask the guy and pray to GOd...and try to listen to GOd not what you want...trust me u will be fine

.

Concurr

tactius:


I wish i could give your post one million likes...alas, I have but one like.

Its more than enough and I'm honoured. Thank you

xder25:
Kindly check us out today http://www.xc1.xyz/1

Guy why should you be building sites for less than 50k, some of us make our living from this.

OK, I'm much younger than you but let me share my own experience with you. I'm presently dating my Bestie of 5 years. We started out as friends cause she wasn't ready for relationship, I dated along the way but didn't work. At a point I was so in love with her but just like you I was afraid of losing a special friendship, not knowing she was also in love too.
One day we were talking and she asked me why can't we even date? I was surprised and I told her I don't know and she said maybe its because I've refused to ask her out, then I asked her if she's telling me to ask her out she said yes. Then I did and she gave me a yes instantly! It's over a year now and I'm still loving her hard. Ask him why you guys can't date, if he's into you he will take it from there, if not your friendship will still remain. Good luck!

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