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Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe - Literature (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by queenitee(f): 7:15pm On Jun 04
Awwn, I love this already.
I once tried to own a diary, but ko work grin grin
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Dammykrone(m): 8:52pm On Jun 04
Well, E Dey Do Me Like Oliver Twist. This Is Why I Love Your Stories, So Interesting. Well Done Ma'am
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Dammykrone(m): 8:54pm On Jun 04
Adesina12, Oya Carry Popcorn + Fearless Come Here ooo.

1 Like

Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 1:32am On Jun 05
queenitee:
Awwn, I love this already.
I once tried owning a diary, but ko work grin grin

hahaha... I used to have diaries too, but I keep destroying them... then the troubling part of hiding it from my siblings... too much wahala...
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 1:33am On Jun 05
Dammykrone:
Well, E Dey Do Me Like Oliver Twist. This Is Why I Love Your Stories, So Interesting. Well Done Ma'am

Hahahaha...
Thanks jare
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Adesina12: 10:01am On Jun 05
Dammykrone:
Adesina12, Oya Carry Popcorn + Fearless Come Here ooo.

I will join u soon
My babe need my attention at oza room
Sweet popcorn loading into trucks
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Dammykrone(m): 10:35am On Jun 05
Adesina12:


I will join u soon
My babe need my attention at oza room
Sweet popcorn loading into trucks
Enjoy Una Self O. But Be Fast Abeg. Oliver Twist Dey Do Me
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 8:19am On Jul 15
Morning my favourite peeps The story continues today.
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Ann2012(f): 1:14pm On Jul 17
SheWrites:
Morning my favourite peeps
The story continues today.

Good afternoon ma, anticipating
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 2:23pm On Jul 22
SASSY AND SLAYING: DIARY OF A SINGLE NAIJA BABE

EPISODE TWO

January 9th, 2016.

Dear Diary,

Here I am, seated here on my comfy bed. My back against two large soft pillows, diary on the bed, while I scribble away.

It’s past nine, the weather is a bit chilly, probably because it rained most part of the day. How often does it rain in January? Almost never in some parts of the country. But, this is Lagos and s*ht happens. Still trying hard not to use vulgar words. Victory will be mine one day soon.

My blanket is keeping me warm by the way. I’ve got a big mug of tea right here too. Milo plus peak milk plus three spoons of sugar plus very hot water equals tea. Creamy chocolate tea or is it beverage they call it now? Anyhow, this is a very milky and sugary something and I am so enjoying myself.

I had a very busy day at work today. Mrs. Nkiruka kept us all on our toes. She was just dishing out orders as if the sun will not set today. At one time, she threatened to suspend all of us without pay. I was mad. Who does she even think she is sef? Why all this craziness? Is she the only General Manager in the whole of Lagos? If I was in her shoes, I won’t treat my staff this way. I will more cautious and… and what’s the word now? Sensitive? Yes, sensitive. Sensitive to their emotions. After all, we are all human beings. Blood flows through each of our veins.

Nevertheless, thank God today is Friday. I am not going to work tomorrow! Eureka! Hallelujah! I am so, so happy right now. Thank God we do not work during the weekends, except during the quarterly general meetings.

This weekend, I will probably sleep in. I will do my laundry in the morning, arrange and iron the clothes I want to wear to work next week, go to the market and cook in the afternoon, then return to bed. Maybe later in the evening, I will watch some of the action series and soap operas I have in my flash drive. One of the I.T guys at the office helped me to download some movies and series into the drive. My weekend is so complete.

When I got home today, I think around past eight or so, I was knocked out physically. I dreaded making dinner initially, but Benson took care of dinner. He stopped by at an eatery on our way home today. He was hungry and he decided to get himself some food and he offered to get some for me too. I thanked my stars in that joyous moment.

Once in a while, he dropped me off at the junction opposite my street. The junction interlocks with the road leading to his own area. If it was left to him, he would pick me up and drop me off every day, but he leaves for work earlier than I do and he closes one or two hours after I must have left. But, on a few occasion like today, we closed at the same time.

My dinner of fried rice, salad and chicken was lit! I enjoyed myself. God bless you real good Benson! You should have seen the way he was stealing glances at him during our drive home. Na wa o. This guy is so, so into me. I am keeping my fingers crossed as I await how things will eventually unfold.

Diary, guess who I saw when I returned home from work this evening? It was Itoro and Timi o. The live-in-lovers were seated outside their apartment, acting lovey-dovey! What did I tell you, diary yesterday? One moment they will fight and the next they will reconcile. One would have thought that they would have broken up and gone their separate ways by now, but no! They are still here together like super glue and ... and what can I compare them with now? Super glue and paper or whatever.

The bottom line is that they were kissing and smooching and the likes, right outside their apartment and in broad day light. Okay, not quite. The sun had already set when I arrived, so, I caught them under the moon light.

Nonetheless, I was infuriated by their pretentious display. I am not jealous. God forbid! Their kind of relationship is something I can never wish on my worst enemy. Who are they trying to deceive anyway? Definitely not me. Everyone living in the compound have seen them for what they truly are. We all know that in the next three, four days, they would be at it again. Fighting, throwing punches and cursing their generations unborn.

Let’s leave this people and face our own matter, jare. Back to Benson. God will continually bless that bobo for me. But, you know what, awoof dey run belle sha. What happens when he finally asks me out? He is not my type. He is physically okay-ish. He is tall enough. I am 5’8 and he is 5’9. I like my men taller than I am. Any man that is shorter than I am cannot get my attention. No apologies here. Maybe I might change my mind if he is the President of the United States. Story-story. I also like my men muscular and fit. Skinny men are a no-no for me.

Benson is in-between skinny and muscular. He is just there physically sha. Facially, he is cute. He is kind and not too firm. I like my men to be men. Men who are girlish, men who find it hard to say no, they are a no-no for me. Benson is in-between being girlish and being too soft.

I don’t mind having a guy at my beck and call, but I also want him to be able to take charge. I don’t want someone that will do all my bidding without blinking twice. Benson will go out of his way to do things for me. He will never say no to me, even if it will inconvenience him. These are good qualities, but, I might end up manipulating him. If I have to date him, I want him to be fully in charge. I want him to be immune to my charms.

But, judging from our working relationship, I doubt if he would be able to correct me without looking at my face. I am not sure he can tell me the truth, knowing fully well that it might hurt me. This guy will bend the truth just for my sake. Just because he is enamoured with me and he doesn’t want to hurt me.

Oh lord… I have been in different relationships over the years. I have tasted the good, the bad and the ugly. For now, I want to start on a clean slate. I am twenty-eight for Pete’s sake. I cannot afford to play away my life. I want what I want. And that’s that. Shikena. Finito. C’est fini. QED.

So, dairy, in a nutshell, I cannot manage Benson. That will be unfair to him. I don’t want to start something I am not willing to finish.

Oh my... What am I even writing for heaven sake? The guy has not asked me out and I am here blabbing. Yes, I know. It is written all over his face. But, there are some guys that, no matter how much they send you non-verbal messages, they will never act on it. You know they like you. You know they want you. But, you will be shocked when they go after another girl right before your eyes. Scallywags!

I think I have talked about my entire day. One more thing, I think Clara is jealous. Remember the number two slay queen in my office? Clara often wishes that she was the one in my shoes. She once boasted that if she was the one Benson was drooling over, she would have cleaned him out by now. She would use his fondness for her as a weapon and lick his pockets dry.
Shameless girl. I am not that kind of girl. I am not a leech. Or a parasite. I am done with that kind of life. I do not take advantage of men anymore, for whatever reason. Especially when I know that they are crushing over me.

These days, I play it safe and I play smart.

I pretty hope my prince charming will find me before I turn 30. I will love to be married on or before 30. At least, between 30 and 35, I should have dropped two kids, at most three. Male and female. As God would have it.

I believe in God. I know he exists and all that. I was born into a Christian home. But, I don’t carry Jesus on my head like a load or burden. I live my life and God takes care of everything else from yonder. I don’t need to go to church every Sunday to prove that I believe in God. I know he sees my heart. I think we have an understanding. I do my thing and he does his. We simply co-exist.

I am feeling drowsy. I have yawned like ten times already.

Diary, we will chat tomorrow. Need some sleep now.

Looking forward to a beautiful weekend.

Night-night, diary.

Hugs and kisses.

3 Likes

Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Ann2012(f): 4:20pm On Jul 22
Thanks for the update
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Hardes(m): 5:09pm On Jul 23
Nice Update
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by PrudySara(f): 11:25am On Jul 26
Wow.... SheWrites is back. My condolences on the death of your dad.
Lovely story... Ann2012, you're really MTN��
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 4:31pm On Jul 26
PrudySara:
Wow.... SheWrites is back. My condolences on the death of your dad.
Lovely story... Ann2012, you're really MTN��
*hugs* thanks

1 Like

Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 4:32pm On Jul 26
The story continues...
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Ann2012(f): 8:12pm On Jul 26
PrudySara:

Ann2012, you're really MTN��

Lolz, we are together cool
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by PrudySara(f): 10:18pm On Jul 26
you pass me oh
Ann2012:

Lolz, we are together cool
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Ann2012(f): 9:35am On Jul 27
PrudySara:
you pass me oh
Nooooo cheesy
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by PrudySara(f): 1:31pm On Jul 27
grin grin
Ann2012:
Nooooo cheesy
grin
Ann2012:
Nooooo cheesy
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 3:51pm On Jul 27
SASSY AND SLAYING: DIARY OF A SINGLE NAIJA BABE

EPISODE THREE

Dear Diary,
January 11, 2016.
Today is Sunday. I didn’t go to church this morning. I can’t remember the last time I went to church. I think it’s over a month or two ago or maybe three months ago.
Sam, the S.U brother living in my compound has invited me to his church for one program or the other, countless times. And I have posted him times without number. The last time he invited me for a Singles program, I told him I would come. But, I didn’t bother to show up. I think he was angry with me because he didn’t greet me for like a week. What do I care? Church programs aren’t my thing. I can’t sit in one place for over an hour watching people pray as if their lives was going to end or watch them dance to songs that has no head or tail, songs that lack rhythm. I am not a stranger to these things. Been there, done that. No more for now.
It is not by force to go to church on Sundays. When I was younger, it was a most. It was over-compulsory. My parents would wake us up very early on Sunday mornings, give us hurried baths, stuff bread and butter in our mouths and drag us off to church. I hated those mornings with a passion. Sometimes, I doze off in the children’s church. Sometimes, I participate in the singing and dancing. Other times, I just sit there looking at everyone else. In my teens, we started sitting in the main church with our parents. It was always so boring. I would count the seconds, minutes, and the torturous hours till we gladly leave for home.
When I got into the university, I was finally free. Free to do as I wished. I rarely attended fellowships at school. I lived my life. But on holidays, I had to follow my parents to church once again. No wonder I was so happy when I finally moved out. Nothing compares to living on your own and doing your own thing. The freedom is exhilarating. Although sometimes, the loneliness can be overbearing. But, with a few distractions here and there, one can get by.

3 Likes

Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 3:53pm On Jul 27
Continuation

But, with a few distractions here and there, one can get by.
Bottom line, I will go when I feel like it. And it doesn’t have to be Sam’s church. There are about five, six different churches on my street alone. I can choose to attend anyone of them, whenever I feel like.
Since I moved out of my late father’s house, I have not been consistent in church. I don’t plan to be a regular church attendee in the near future. I am okay with the way I am living my life. This is the way I want things to be and God understands. No stress. Let’s drop this church talk and move forward.
Sorry diary, I didn’t spend time with you yesterday. Yesterday was Saturday. My Saturday was something else.
I started off with doing my laundry in the morning, I separated and ironed the clothes I am going to wear to work next week, I took my shoes to the Mallam to have them polished, then I went to the market and cooked. My fridge is stuffed and ready for the new week.
I saw Itoro and Timi when I returned from the market. They are still acting like Adam and Eve or like Romeo and Juliet. They should continue. More grease to their elbow. I am counting down to their next violent conflict. Is it not them? Quarrel, settle, quarrel, settle, quarrel, and settle, all the time. Dey no dey tire. Me I tire o. Biko. It has do now.
Back to my gist. All work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy. Out of the blues, in the evening on Saturday, Benson called. I was shocked. He rarely calls me during the weekends. Except he wants to say hi or discuss office matters or gossip. Yes, men gossip too. Hahahaha…
But yesterday evening, he told me that he was in my area and he was off to an eatery to get something to eat. Sharp, sharp, I made myself available. Who dey reject free food? He came to pick me up and we went to one of the eateries around.
I ate to my fill and packaged some takeaways. Mine oh mine, I had some fun. This Benson couldn’t keep his eyes off me. I don’t blame him sha, I was looking breathtakingly indomicious. Trust me. I was casually dressed, but attractive from hair to shoes. I am pretty sure that the guy is already calculating his next strategy. This guy is going to pop the question pretty soon. He is going to ask me out sooner than I think. Let’s wait till then. I will know how to handle the situation when it comes to play. Let me not put the cart before the horse.
Benson dropped me at the gate and when I walked into the compound, I met the landlord, Chief Gboyega Daniels, screaming at the top of his lungs and ordering every tenant that hasn’t paid their rent to come out and face him. Thank God I have completed the payment of my rent. This was exactly what I was trying to avoid. The embarrassment, the harassment, the shame.
I passed by and went straight to my abode, then watched the action from my window. Soon, a fight ensued between the landlord and some of the male tenants. There was exchange of harsh words and the landlord began to make weighty threats. Threats that did not go beyond eviction from the house.
During the commotion, my siblings called. They were heading to my mum’s place and they wanted me to come along. I could have declined. But I decided to follow them. If I didn’t, mumsie will kill me with phone calls and text messages during the coming week. I am in no mood for her shenanigans, tomfooleries or archaic antics.
The visit began well and after we’ve all eaten her delicious food, it metamorphosed into a lecture class before you can say Jack Robinson. My mum wanted to know why we were not married. She was not happy that I was 28 and I didn’t have a boyfriend. My brother who was thirty-one had not brought anyone girl home since his youth service days and my sister who was a year older was in no relationship.
My elder brother feigned that he was receiving a phone call. He stepped out of the flat and he absconded. My sister excused herself moments later, on the pretense that she had an important errand to run for her boss. My siblings deserted me. They both left me to deal with our mum, alone. They left me to face the tigress. Who does that? The next time those two want me to tag along on a visit to mumsie’s place, I will just say no.
Mumsie sef. That woman is something else entirely. Somebody cannot visit her in peace. If you don’t visit, trouble. And when you visit, double trouble. I will just alienate myself from her for now. Her own is too much.
When I came home from my mum’s place, I met Sam and a young lady at the gate. I am not sure that I have seen her before. By the time I got to my door, I overheard Cassandra and Itoro discussing how they found out that the lady Sam was seeing off was one of the choristers in his church. She visits him like once in a week. They both assumed that they were dating.
Ah! han! Information Ministers! I shook my head and unlocked my door. What’s my own? What do I care? If they date, fine. If they don’t, fine. It is his life. He can live it whichever way it pleases him.
Back here, in my comfy room, seated on my comfy settee, writing in my comfy diary, it’s time for me to go to bed. Tomorrow is Monday. I am not looking forward to going to work, but I do not have a choice. I gats to go. Bills need to be paid and I cannot come and die of boredom.
I think I had a good weekend, minus the visit to mum’s place. I am looking forward to next weekend. I know it is going to be a blast.
All right diary. I am yawning now.
Night, night. Maybe I will write tomorrow…
Later…
Hugs and Kisses!

2 Likes

Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by PrudySara(f): 10:59pm On Jul 27
Good night dairy, tomorrow is Sunday. Sure, I'll be going to church ... Hoping I'll get an update from SheWrites tomorrow...


Thanks for the update
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Ann2012(f): 9:04am On Jul 28
Good morning diary, just came back from church cheesy

Thanks for the update ma'am
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 11:22am On Jul 28
PrudySara:
Good night dairy, tomorrow is Sunday. Sure, I'll be going to church ... Hoping I'll get an update from SheWrites tomorrow...


Thanks for the update

hahahaha... see wisdom

1 Like

Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 11:23am On Jul 28
Ann2012:
Good morning diary, just came back from church cheesy

Thanks for the update ma'am

The story continues

1 Like

Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Missmossy(f): 6:21pm On Jul 28
Such an interesting read,keep it up.
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by raphy(m): 8:11pm On Jul 28
Grabhisballs bring pop corn let's watch this movie..
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 8:42am On Jul 29
Missmossy:
Such an interesting read,keep it up.

Thanks
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by PrudySara(f): 10:26am On Jul 29
grin grin
SheWrites:


hahahaha... see wisdom
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by Dammykrone(m): 7:24am On Jul 30
Good Morning Diary. Good Morning Shewrites. How Was Your Night?
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by SheWrites(f): 10:02am On Jul 30
Dammykrone:
Good Morning Diary. Good Morning Shewrites. How Was Your Night?

Morning Dammykrone...
Re: Sassy And Slaying: Diary Of A Single Naija Babe by WAACUT(m): 7:40am On Jul 31
nice story ....seated and waiting.... just like me I don't go to church....

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