golddeejay:
All in I see in this article is a lot of 'in the box' thinking. Living life according to some archaic standard will only live you frustrated. The Op come across as the kind of parent that will advise his kids to "Go to school, get good grades, get a good job, marry early and retire at so or so year and let your children provide for you in your old age". No pun intended, you sound educated but with "rigid & programmed" thinking.

We live in a world with choices. Someone can decide not to get married or adopt a child/children or marry to same sex(where it is legal), work from home and other stuffs that are not according to your archaic programmed think.

You throw a lot of statistics to back up your points...like 1/400 baby dies at childbirth and so on. Again living your life on statistics will cripple you with fear, frustrations and the rest.

We are all different with different ideas and struggles
Making choices and planning your live or family is not always "one size fits all" or following the crowd.

I am not the one that rubbish other people's opinions but this is an offpoint.
BTW, I am married.

Wetin carry my name enter the matter naw?

Goddys:


You think your post is wise but you are ignorant of you think all there is to life is to have and train children.

At last, someone with sense have spoken.

Screw marriage...

matify83:
These permutations would only end up depressing your psyche if you ruminate on them too hard.

Make money
Invest wisely
Leave the rest to the ONE that governs the universe.

"First Class no be who collect extra sheets ""

For real sha I don dey take style fear oh. I'm approaching 32 already mehn and still no marriage things in view. No serious relationship self. At a time its not all about the money. Family, kids and happiness matter too.

I just wish you know how Japan, Norway and most 1st world nations view marriage.. why do Nigerians place so much value on marriage/children instead of making life better?
marry on time... give birth to children.. feed your wife & children.. buy car/build house for your family.. after that you na die.
is that what God created black man to do?
why don't we think about space exploration, curing diseases, scientific breakthrough.. the whole world is entering the 4th industrial revolution, 9ja still dey dance BTW 1st/2nd, but yet marriage, religion is wat fills our discuss..
You can go ahead and marry without any source of livelihood, bring children into this world to suffer/beg(almajiri style).

I must try my best to ensure my children ain't brought up in this country, if I can't afford it I will do my best to ensure they're born aboard, at least to secure dual citizenship..

everything for 9ja jus dey provoke person

truthsayer009:


Asin ehn, my bro. The thing tire me, foolish parents putting so much pressure on First borns.

That's how one Idiotic girl starting with "Saf**" in her name was arguing yesterday that Women in marriage is what make Men successful. Me that I know once you marry your life slows down by 85%. All the risk & opportunities you could take before is no longer available, you have to think of your Wife & children first.

Any man who doesn't get his finances right before marriage is forever doomed. He will die in Poverty I swear!

I hear those kind of statements a lot "Marry first and blessings will come", "give birth to children and they will bring good luck" bla bla bla.

Nigerians put themselves under a hell of pressure with superstitious and one dimensional thinking without any plan. This way of thinking is why many families are having very tough times.

truthsayer009:


Asin ehn, my bro. The thing tire me, foolish parents putting so much pressure on First borns.

That's how one Idiotic girl starting with "Saf**" in her name was arguing yesterday that Women in marriage is what make Men successful. Me that I know once you marry your life slows down by 85%. All the risk & opportunities you could take before is no longer available, you have to think of your Wife & children first.

Any man who doesn't get his finances right before marriage is forever doomed. He will die in Poverty I swear!

its mostly illiterate ignorant parents dat jus depend on first born. these days there are who save and invest for the future.many of them buy lands with the money they earn from their jobs.some build hostels for students to rent and the money they make from these business they save and invest. and dat one about women in marriage is wat makes men succcesful na big lie oooo.there are many young guys cos of the rush into early marriage they have become stagnant in life. the little money they would have saved and used to go back to school to upgrade themselves acedemically or set up a business they will be using it to feed wife and kids.no progress in life and all will just be about feeding wife and kids.i know one guy who got married in his finals in d university.the guy read mining engineering but till date the guy is doing porter job in one small hotel carrying bags for customers while his young wife sells crayfish in d market to survive.if u see d guy now he looks so worn out looking after his wife and his two children.the little money he makes he canr use it on himself and if u see him now he now looks like a pensioner.a young guy oo.omo wen u want to get married as a man make sure ur finiances are strong cos if not ur marriage will be hell.

golddeejay:


I hear those kind of statements a lot "Marry first and blessings will come", "give birth to children and they will bring good luck" bla bla bla.

Nigerians put themselves under a hell of pressure with superstitious and one dimensional thinkers without any plan. This way of think is why many families are having very tough times.

like dose families with children with swollen stomachs and ribs all over cos the parents never planned wen they entered into marrriad life.

Africans has a long way to go sha....
See what this one is discussing, an educated mind for that matter....
African youths will not talk of eradicating hunger or poverty in the continent....
They won't talk of creating wealth and adding value...
African young doctors won't talk of making STEM cell transplant easily accessible to millions of sickle cell patients on the continent....
It's all about getting married and having kids....
That's all they care about despite the investment in education....
Lord lugard was right after all- the African mind cares all about sex and procreation.....

Jiang:


If I had the means nothing will stop me from getting married tomorrow, d problem is the bills, You need a steady source of income, business or otherwise.
Nobody is urging me to marry, but seriously I feel how much time am loosing almost every time talk about marriage or age comes into play

E no eazi my friend o, live ya life one at a time & Neva feel down
I dunno why so called youths dey reason with their a**, unlike 10-20yrs ago an average primary/secondary school (especially boarding) is like 5 times the cost of university in present day Nigeria, and one motivational speaker will jus sit down and be telling us fairy tales because he wan trend

Marriage is a lot of maturity. Marriage could make or mar individual. Yes, I agree to a large extent about growing with your kids but U know one really needs to be prepared for marriage mentally.

wonder233:
yen yen yen... Obsession with marriage is why we are still where we are in this part of the world.
You will hardly see articles about how young people can attain financial freedom or at least survive in the face of daunting and grim economic realities.
No! It's articles goading them into marriage and reproduction to swell the already bloated and unkempt population.
Sometimes I truly wonder if this part of the world isn't cursed afterall

You are very angry.

With my present income, I can get married and live comfortably but that's not going to happen. I'm still laying a solid foundation for a future where I may choose to not work for up to 6 months and still live fine.

Marriage will start crossing my face in the next 5 or 6 years, at least.

Marriage just like food and sex is overrated

Having only one wife between age of 25 and 33 is enough. Also having later children is fun but avoiding it might be better.

Mr2wealth:
It is every man and woman's wish to marry and settle down early and have a good family life. However, the prevailing economic, sociopolitical conditions is making that dream not to come through. The worse factor is always from within the mind and the family one comes from.
So, it is easier said and written than done.

Say it louder plz

What's the essence of getting married when you are not man enough financially

No doubt, early marriage is better than late marriage

Person wey eat food for morning na him de go shit � for evening

chemgee:
I just wish you know how Japan, Norway and most 1st world nations view marriage.. why do Nigerians place so much value on marriage/children instead of making life better?
marry on time... give birth to children.. feed your wife & children.. buy car/build house for your family.. after that you na die.
is that what God created black man to do?
why don't we think about space exploration, curing diseases, scientific breakthrough.. the whole world is entering the 4th industrial revolution, 9ja still dey dance BTW 1st/2nd, but yet marriage, religion is wat fills our discuss..
You can go ahead and marry without any source of livelihood, bring children into this world to suffer/beg(almajiri style).

I must try my best to ensure my children ain't brought up in this country, if I can't afford it I will do my best to ensure they're born aboard, at least to secure dual citizenship..

everything for 9ja jus dey provoke person

You get too much sense bro. Thumbs up!!

Raalsalghul:

Rubbish and balderdash. Got a fellow here, married before 30 and is a deadbeat. Whether 27 or 56, just leave a legacy for your kids. Simple!

instead of giving a sensible rebuttal ur foolishness no let u see road to call a write up rubbish...

ednut1:
so is it their fault They are trying their possible best. But wen u look at what wedding entails these days no blame them

is a must to do wedding??...dats yy I like Islam...u don't spend much u Marry...my friend married in kaduna and spend less Dan 50k for everything including d marriage rights...

MelaninGold:

You are right...the men complaining here are well over 30 but have little or nothing to show for it and are not willing to settle down. That's why they are pained. The truth hurts.

I disagree. My half brother is a medical doctor in the US. He was over 40 before he married. He grew up there though.

The problem with you Nigerians is that you think marriage and kids are the ultimate. Check when Bill Gates got married, the age of his first child and his own age.

Bringing a child into this world to suffer is the last thing I will ever do in my life. Some persons got married and not all can even take good care of their children.

All those talking about when a child will graduate blah blah... That is not supposed to be your headache. Rather, your goal should be to build a legacy and a formidable personality in a child that will see him become more superior than his peers both psychologically and mentally. This will make them stand on their feet.

When I have my own kids, trust me, I will so build them in such a way that they will not depend on me financially for most of their needs after secondary school. They would have owned a couple of businesses before they finish university.

How is that possible? Their dad went through the school of hard knocks for that purpose!

Emilokoiyawon:
Rubbish. Its better to marry at 50 and last till death than to marry at 20 and divorce at 21.

And who said you can't get married and 50 and divorce at 51?

mrkel:



You get too much sense bro. Thumbs up!!

We never get light, this one dey talk of space exploration.

No mind the Op. He’s using his condition to judge others. I know of someone whose parents and siblings depend on for survival (rent, feeding, medical expenses etc.), and the guy himself is also struggling to survive. So he’s expecting him to start up a family under such condition and continue with the poverty dynasty. All these butter pickin go just they write nonsense just to dey relevant.

chemgee:
I just wish you know how Japan, Norway and most 1st world nations view marriage.. why do Nigerians place so much value on marriage/children instead of making life better?
marry on time... give birth to children.. feed your wife & children.. buy car/build house for your family.. after that you na die.
is that what God created black man to do?
why don't we think about space exploration, curing diseases, scientific breakthrough.. the whole world is entering the 4th industrial revolution, 9ja still dey dance BTW 1st/2nd, but yet marriage, religion is wat fills our discuss..
You can go ahead and marry without any source of livelihood, bring children into this world to suffer/beg(almajiri style).

I must try my best to ensure my children ain't brought up in this country, if I can't afford it I will do my best to ensure they're born aboard, at least to secure dual citizenship..

everything for 9ja jus dey provoke person

Absolute trash. U better stop deceiving people with this nonsensical article you've just written. Simply because you want to have children at a young age, u get married early, u think marriage is a bed of roses? Marry when u are mentally, emotionally and economically ready irrespective of your age. ENOUGH SAID.

Goddys:


You think your post is wise but you are ignorant of you think all there is to life is to have and train children.

So true. Who told the OP we all aspire to marry and have kids?

Raalsalghul:

Rubbish and balderdash. Got a fellow here, married before 30 and is a deadbeat. Whether 27 or 56, just leave a legacy for your kids. Simple!

My kind of person. Same thing I told a colleague this past week. If you marry and have kids early, if at a long run you're still struggling to provide for them, the kids would at a time wish you never gave birth to them, or wish a rich person was their father. Which insult is worse than that?

baby124:
What a dumbass. Some ladies that married at 18 and as virgins are infertile while some that married at 40 are very fertile. Infertility is mostly biological and not age related. Some women are biologically men and vice versa but they look like women or men on the outside. If you like marry them at 15, no child for you. Everyone should marry when they feel ready. Young or old marriage. See this muni writer just writing rubbish.

Yes a woman can be fertile as long as she is still getting her period

So people like us that's still searching hoping and praying should kill ourselves with B.P ?

MelaninGold:

You are right...the men complaining here are well over 30 but have little or nothing to show for it and are not willing to settle down. That's why they are pained. The truth hurts.

Yes truth hurts & It's really painful.

You should be worried as well, don't you think? You think the problem of this economy will be suffered by one gender?

How will the guys who you claim are pained approach you to ask for your hand in marriage, If the population of Nigeria is 180M+ and 86.9 million Nigerians now living in extreme poverty represents nearly 50% of its estimated 180 million population.

Which means 7 out 10 guys that will approach you is broke. The remaining 3 is who you now have to struggle with other Women with.

How many male youths living in Western countries like Germany, Australia, Canada etc complain about brokeness? Their women cannot complain too, 9 out 10 guys who approach their Women are doing well because of their economy.

You should be really worried I tell you, It's not even a joking matter. Unless you want to marry a G+ boy or 6th wife like Regina Daniels then no p.

Jubilancy:
So people like us that's still searching hoping and praying should kill ourselves with B.P ?

Maybe you should use Google search to do your searching...