Oyindidi:
Every woman make comment like this once or twice in marriage. Tell us why you want pack leave forget this plenty grammar

Why will "every woman" make a comment like that, for many, Verbal and Emotional Abuse is worse that Physical Abuse. People should learn when and when not to pass certain comments. Bodily harm may heal and be forgotten, but Verbal harm, cuts deep and lingers overtime. Even a dullard knows with statements like that, the wife is no longer interested in the marriage, save for the kids and of course, money. No man is really tied to a woman, and vice-versa, if it start getting unbearable, cut and run.

iRepNaija1:


Okay. So, according to you, you're financially providing for your family. But are you doing more than that? Some men seem to think that if they give the basics of what a husband is "supposed" to, they've done enough. But that's not necessarily the case. Consider the following:
Do you help with the errands around the house?
Do you help with your kids' homework, the schools runs, the chores for the children?
Do you take her out to dinner once in a while?
Do you guys have weekly date nights?
Have you bought her a small trinket just because? What about flowers?
When was the last time you told her she was beautiful/hot/sexy? Do you make her feel desired?
Do you remind her why you had to have her as your wife?
Have you taken her on a trip? Did you guys have a honeymoon?

Maybe you're doing the aforementioned. Maybe not. We only know your side of the story. But packing up and taking the children you have together should not be your first choice. Who are you to even take her kids away from her? That's a red flag right there. Go talk your wife and work it out.

So, it is normal for a wife to be threatening her husband who has a shattered leg with divorce at every slight opportunity because he couldn't or didn't do all the things you listed up there! How many of us in Nigeria are doing that today? Few are just trying to copy those things, it was never our way of life. So, no Africa woman in her right sense would threaten her husband with divorce just because those things are lacking

LadyHeaven:


Chai, are you a man? I never knew NL men still had sense in abundance, just goes to show if the head is rotten some parts may still be as clean as ever...Op please heed this mans words

There are a million and one things i am sure you didnt tell us, if we listen to your wife's side of the story i am sure many commentators would change mouth, no one knows how you treat her in return, how your family treats her, what she goes through everyday, i am 100% sure it goes deeper than what you just said here, my neighbor abandoned his wife that stood by him for 11 years when he was down (court gave her custody), he went about balling with different chicks on a daily, suddenly the illness came back in quantum, family, friends and chicks abandoned him immediately, no one could deal with his mood swings, complains and neediness so they ran, he then remembered how one woman took up his cross for him all those years, could he get her back? NO, she had moved to UK and was working as an aged care nurse and studying to be a RN, unfortunately after awhile he ****, everyone said it was karma and blamed him, sameppl who hailed and asked him to leave his wife initially.

The world is two faced, NL is multi faced, ppl give opinions based on the likes they can get for savagery so take their advice carefully, if you are looking for real life advice go to Quora or Reddit support groups, Life is not easy but what we give is what we would receive.

Cheers

Dearest LadyHeaven,
Life has thought me that most bad experiences always turns out good,with SURU_SURU.
Any woman that stays with you is yours. If she is really happy,you are rich. If you are not yet where you want to be,you are on your trying period.

If you decide once I get money she is gone,that money ain’t coming bro.
Our Mama,Na them be the Mama of anybody.
Awon iyami oshoronga........
Mojuba yin oh .... eyin Iya ooooooooooooo

Sally97:


Talk to her and find out what's going on with her. Maybe she's going through a lot and because of your state so many things have been neglected and things are not the way it used to be.

She's going through a lot what do you have to say about the husband who got his leg shattered. She isn't just empathetic and she's very selfish emotionally

hmmmm
oro sunukun

Mr Man, you brought your marital issues to seek a solution, so amongst all these advice, which are you going to stick to? Remember that is a forum with all cadre of people with their different opinion.The solution lies more with you having further discussion with your woman.

crackhaus:

You know his wife?

maybe she's the one self bro.lol.

Ur wife has started cheating on u ooo

Nnemuka:

Yea she just woke up one day and started using provocative languages

No she said it twice, what difference does it make, there are things you never say to someone you are married to, even if you are going to divorce him, do it without using such derogatory words.

The problem, most ladies feel the same as you do, as far as someone did something that hurt you, its allowed for you to say anything to hurt him!

Vyolet:

We know some things don't work in Nigeria, but cases of who takes child custody when there is separation is always well taken care of in Nigeria.
In most cases, the woman always gets custody while the man pays certain amount monthly for the child upkeep.

The woman will need to go court for that to happen
How many women have the funds and patience for court wahala?

Most times the men willingly relinquished the control just to be free.
That is why you see a lot of single women with kids.

If the man decides that you are not going anywhere with his kids, he will fight you to the end.

trapQ:
Seems like you think you're in the Stone age.

Just for your information, Mike Adenuga's son's babymama fought for her kid and gained custody. Guess what? He kidnapped the child while at school one day and is currently facing kidnap charges.

I pity you if you think you can take any child away from her mother when the mother is not an illiterate.

It depends.

First and foremost, Mike adenuga girlfriend was from a well to-do home as well.
She could fight money with money and get good lawyers.
How many Nigerian women have that kind of advantage?

Even then, it is not set in stone that the court will award the female, custody of the kids.
Yes, they have the advantage but it is not always so.

The man will unravel a few damaging marital secrets about the wife to the courts and he will win.

It's just that most of the time, men don't even want the stress of taking care of the children.
So they just release them without a fight.

Endure fire !

How much of the nonsense you claim women endure have you endured ? Like we don’t see women everyday everywhere or women suddenly turn saint any creature will pour shii on n they’d be loving such person.

Abeg if u no wan get sense no get but the story about poo n every foolish tale you conjured is nothing but outright lie. No single part of that lie can ever be true or will ever be. How you can shamelessly tell lies such as that with a straight face even on a faceless forum is beyond every human rationality.

Softly de lie abeg !
Shameless liar.

SBL28:


And you are not making any sense at all. As in, no sense rara. See how you just sat down and conjured facts on your own.

Women endure a lot!

munas:



when you get married,you will know better...

I'll rather stay unmarried if I can't find my kind of lady!

Riyadhgoddess36:






We will hangout with Jesus

We can't hangout with Jesus na. U want him to be contaminated

Why are you thinking of running away with the kids? That you are no longer in good terms with the woman does not stop the children from being her children too. The children belong to the two of you.

And those saying authoritatively that the woman is cheating, weldone o.

You all do not know the couple so how can we be sure of what is happening in their house?

@OP, I don't know you and I don't know your wife, but whatever it is you both decide to do, have it in mind that you both have equal rights to the children except a mother/father that is going to constitute danger to the children.

May God heal you completely and also heal your home. Amen.

Besides, when some women complain about their marriage and are planning to quit, people will be telling her not to leave, stay because of your children etc. Now see a woman saying she is staying because of children and people are already saying she is cheating. Do we know how many of our mothers stayed in their marriages because of the children and not because they live our fathers anymore. I thought you people are saying our mothers are the REAL WOMEN. Well I guess her crime now is because she said her mind out LOUD abi? Not saying she is right or wrong anyways. God be with them all. Amen

lefulefu:
person wife tell am say she's just staying coz of d kids is as well as telling him she already has a better option.any man wey wise knows dis. Op better start getting ready for her departure cos one mornin im go open eye and im wife go waka leave am. I know its painful wen someone's spouse dumps him or her but then it happens all d time.

I've heard couples say worse yet they are still together, op just need an excuse to get out. I like honest people, if you are Tired, just go and stop trying to paint the other person black.

munas:



when you get married,you will know better...

Why are you weak like this? its annoying ooo. I bet u were raised to worship women. Sorry for u.

virago:



She's going through a lot what do you have to say about the husband who got his leg shattered. She isn't just empathetic and she's very selfish emotionally

He is the selfish one, so because he had an accident so no other person have the right to be emotional. Adonbelivit

PeachtreeReside:
It's not easy looking after an invalid . And doing it alone. It's very frustrating .

Get her a therapist to talk to her and know why she said it.

Don't be hasty in divorcing her.

Invalid ke? So OP is now invalid because he has a shattered leg? I keep getting scared of this marriage issue & i must get married in this life. God will help men jareee. To get money sef na wahala, let alone good women in Nigeria. We have only few good women left & its sad.

RTSC:

The woman will need to go court for that to happen
How many women have the funds and patience for court wahala?

Most times the men willingly relinquished the control just to be free.
That is why you see a lot of single women with kids.

If the man decides that you are not going anywhere with his kids, he will fight you to the end.

You won't believe how cheap it is to gain custody, it starts and ends with welfare units, if the man remains adamant and decides to kidnap the child, he gets charged for kidnap of his own child.

About men relinquishing the task to the mother, I don't believe that, many men would want to take the child away from the wife and give to their own mother. It is only the irresponsible ones that would willingly leave the kid with the wife so they can run away from responsibilities.

Chai! Op pls discard all the useless advice here. It's just frustration and anger that's disburbing your wife. Just change your attitude towads her. I'm sure you wont be this patient with her if reverse was the case

gloria34:
I've heard couples say worse yet they are still together, op just need an excuse to get out. I like honest people, if you are Tired, just go and stop trying to paint the other person black.

say things worse like a lady telling her husband dat is peepee is too small for her liking or dat is a terrible one minute lazy dude and her ex was more terrific in bed or a man telling his wife dat her vjay is too wide and dat is sidechic is sweeter in bed dan her. So u have seen couples say this to each other and they still together? .there some bitter words couples say dat will so much split dem aside forever.

comradee1248:
We got married in 2013, by 2015 I had a very terrible accident that shattered one of my leg, so I've been down since then, even though the treatment will soon be over, I did up to 6 surgeries costing quite a fotune, which my people paid.

I work with a very reputable Paramilitary organization, my salary has never been stopped.
I have never failed to provide the basic necessities in the house, even bought my own 2 bedroom flat in the process.


My wife gets angry at the slightest oppotunity..
She told me 2 times that the only reason she's still with me is our two kids...

The 1st time I didn't take it serious but the 2nd time she said it I knew I have to think twice over it.

I know I will bounce back to life and use my legs again in few weeks from now.

My plan is to pack my kids and leave her alone...

What do you Suggest I do.

Thanks

why is your wife not happy with u, apart from the fact that you had an accident n u are still being paid ur dues probably the reason she is still with u, I think there are some things you do or don't do that is getting her pissed, there must be some things she is complaining of or previously complained about, stories like this has two sides

Preshy561:
Op. Worst thing you will do is to bring your family discussion to this section. As you can see, there are lots of childish comment here, even the first commenter called your wife a 'hoe '. This is what you get when you seek for advise from people who have never experienced marriage in their life.

My advise: take this to family section and get better reply. Thank you.

Who told you the people responding are NOT MARRIED or childish. The blunt and ballant truth can only be gotten from here. Why will my wife tell me the only reason why she is still staying with me is because of my children.The marriage that is not even up to 10 years.

Oga please you your brain if you want to live long

teresafaith:
She was just saying it out of frustration/anger, not like she meant it

she meant it 101%. No woman will say such out of anger if she doesn't mean it.

comradee1248:
We got married in 2013, by 2015 I had a very terrible accident that shattered one of my leg, so I've been down since then, even though the treatment will soon be over, I did up to 6 surgeries costing quite a fotune, which my people paid.

I work with a very reputable Paramilitary organization, my salary has never been stopped.
I have never failed to provide the basic necessities in the house, even bought my own 2 bedroom flat in the process.


My wife gets angry at the slightest oppotunity..
She told me 2 times that the only reason she's still with me is our two kids...

The 1st time I didn't take it serious but the 2nd time she said it I knew I have to think twice over it.

I know I will bounce back to life and use my legs again in few weeks from now.

My plan is to pack my kids and leave her alone...

What do you Suggest I do.

Thanks

Oga, no long talk
Change those kids school to one she will not know
Divorce her
Allow d kids to stay with your mother for d time being
Tell d judge u are ready to pay her off if she rants aboit maintenance....tell d judge that with her attitude she can't make a good mother
Go for HIV TEST as soon as possible
Ask ya orthopaedic doctors about d possibility of prosthetic legs

15ssDRIVE:
Boss.
Abeg Abeg Abeg, cool down for Jesus. Since 2013 till now,she no leave!

Now wey e remain weeks for your to walk,you wan leave with the kids?

What if the doctor tell you again,that you need another 6 months ? Then you will need her again?

Money is different and caring is the main thing.

Think oh ...... think well-well. She might have her own Bleep ups,but you tell me .... U no get Bleep up ?

Call her home,talk to her like you daughter,ur sister,ur aunt,your Mom and finally like your loving darling wifey.
Ask here reason for those: words.
Ask where did you get it wrong?
What can be done for amendments.....

No mind people wey dey tell you say... kut her head,shootttt her. Their own case worst pass this matter wey dey ground .

May ur well of wisdom never run dry.

teresafaith:

I don't have to know his wife to know she never meant it.

Most of us say a lot of things we didn't mean out of frustration

God bless u

There are lots of inexperienced children on this platform, bringing your matter here with just your own position / view is unfair to your wife.

In every marriage, there are trying periods, necessitated by different things, money, time, I'll health, boredom and other psychological frustrations that the partner won't even notice he or she is causing the spouse. You have to fight for your marriage. Take it from somebody who is married close to 15 years. Everyday is not Eldorado!

Do you know that being with your wife 247 without going out is a frustration! Coping with the kids alone, mountain of house chores make women psychological wrecks.

Women say all manners of things out of frustration for the record. Have you become grumpy yourself because if your situation, do you seat all day lamenting or just waching TV. Even if na beans help her pick, make yourself useful around the house, help with the children home work, make her smile, she has possibly become the strength of the family. Everything is not about money n comfort.

All these children insinuating she is cheating, have not even perfected their corner corner boy friend/ girlfriend relationship. Everything is not about 'prick' there is more to life.

Look inward too, make your wife smile n laugh, talk to her about this n how it hurts you, ask her why she easily gets angry with you now, be persistent, she will tell.

Try making.your marriage work first before running away with the kids like a sissy.