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Father Refused To Attend My Wedding - Family - Nairaland

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Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Marriage26: 5:19pm On Apr 21, 2019
Good day nairalander,

I am a popular jingo nairalander but got to hide under this moniker...


I have been dating my fiancee for the past 7 years, she had met my parents and I have met her's many times . We planned to get married earlier year. But it was the year my mother left this planet, I informed my family I wanted to get married but they declined, saying, it must be over years of mumsy's demise before I can marry.


We've fixed introduction days 3ice and it got cancelled by my father, what's his reason?


1. NYSC: I was posted to serve in the Northern part of the country 3 years ago, I went to camp, but I couldn't cope with the weather and couldn't leave my business as NYSC won't guarantee me job and I don't have other option. I absconded from the service and faced my business which I saved profits in 7 digits in same year, God made me comfortable.

2: He said I should rather impregnate the girl (backdoor talk)



I am close to my late 20s, he already banned all family members as many depend on him from attending my introduction.

He cancelled my introduction without fixing a new date.

My in-law trust me and ready to release the lady to me as I haven't had sex with her since 2012 that we've been dating...


And Also, God had supplied all I needed for my wedding from A-Z.



Do you think this is a cogent reason?. I want to ahead with my wedding plans...


Kindly advise....Thanks

26 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by paiz: 5:20pm On Apr 21, 2019
OK.
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Biglittlelois(f): 5:28pm On Apr 21, 2019
Be patient, continue to make money, heed to your dad's advice, he knows best, why are you in a hurry to marry since you are not in your 30s? Or is it sex with her you're eager to taste, though I don't believe you've not had sex with her for 7 years, best of luck anyway.

150 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Emescot(m): 5:43pm On Apr 21, 2019
7years and you never enter the place? Wow! The issue now is it that he wants you to impregnate her before marriage or does not want you to marry her at all? From what you have written, we dont know if he likes the girl or not. All in all call him and know his reasons

44 Likes

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by middlebelter(m): 5:52pm On Apr 21, 2019
I will advise you to engage people respected by your father to help you convince him to attend. It is not in your best interest not to receive his blessings while going into marriage.
That institution is deeper than what you are seeing from outside. Pray, beg him and appeal to people he respect to help you talk to him.

64 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Marriage26: 5:53pm On Apr 21, 2019
Emescot:
7years and you never enter the place? Wow! The issue now is it that he wants you to impregnate her before marriage or does not want you to marry her at all? From what you have written, we dont know if he likes the girl or not. All in all call him and know his reasons


My papa no get emotion o... We were brought up with iron hands, bro, the matter pass Abacha regime. He's a dictator... Impregnating before wedding is against my faith but he's surface Christian, and by the way, while growing up, he beats us for not remembering church sermon.


I have met him severally, he never gave any reason, also in the history of the family, I am the first person that want to pay a lady bride price before pregnancy or living together or attempting wedding...





Added 11:38PM of this day.

Thanks to everyone that came round...


But let me clear some misconceptions, I didn't bring this up here to convince my father or seek emotional comfort.. I have made my decisions, I opened this thread to show my fiance what is applicable and clear some doubts.And to keep record for my kids and other future purposes.


Now let me clear some misconceptions in the many comments.


1)

One year of my mum's demise ( some of us might misquote this English again, demise means that she had left this planet, I don't want to use the actual word) had already passed


One year done pass teytey abeg

2)

. My dad is very rich, I am not 0000000000000000000.000000 near him yet.


3)

I met my grandmother today (my mum's mother) and I narrated my story to her, I was expecting her to pick phone and called my dad and beg him, she didn't , she just called her children, and said, we are following him for marriage, she spoke with my in-law and told them they are coming. She told me my father never paid my mum's bride price.

4). Am not painting my father bad. He is a very good and nice man, But once he says something, you can't change him from it


Now here is it, In my lineage, they don't go to in-laws place or have cordial relationship with them. Women are generally seing as piece of paper, I did lots of works to remove this ideology from my brain cos it's what we grew up to see.


On my father's part, it's more of ideology, it's more of believe system. He also advise one of my female siblings to just get Belle, even if it's for married man cos men are scarce now, you can see it's just his own believe and ways of life... But you can't remove this from him.


We do had issue with course I studied in school, he rejected a very course close to medicine and surgery. I begged him to let me continue that following year, I will write Jamb again, he agreed, I did and passed till I entered 300level, I was still writing Jamb grin.

When I finished the course, he advised me to start law. I was so short of words.. After I had Bs.c in a medical related course, you are now saying I should go and study law. I prostrated and thanked him. I never went back, just picked up my business fully grin.


So to roll with my father, agree with him quickly, infact thank him the next day, then do what is on your mind and show him the result. grin



I will surely share my wedding photo here... Thanks to all.

117 Likes 9 Shares

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by SageMK: 5:54pm On Apr 21, 2019
Your dad is being unreasonable.

However, no matter how irrelevant it may seem to you, you need his blessings. Don't take this shít for granted.

Talk to him once again or ask his friends to talk to him.

If he still wants you to get her pregnant before marriage then that means he is harbouring fears about fertility.

So show him your fertility results and make him at ease.

If he's still being unreasonable, go ahead.
You have my ancestors blessings.

34 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Emescot(m): 5:56pm On Apr 21, 2019
Marriage26:



My papa no get emotion o... We were brought up with iron hands, bro, the matter pass Abacha regime. He's a dictator... Impregnating before wedding is against my faith but he's surface Christian, and by the way, while growing up, he beats us for not remembering church sermon.


I have met him severally, he never gave any reason, also in the history of the family, I am the first person that want to pay a lady bride price before pregnancy or living together or attempting wedding...

Then why are you trying to break the family history, impregnate the girl, if that will make him happy

39 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Marriage26: 5:56pm On Apr 21, 2019
middlebelter:
I will advise you to engage people respected by your father to help you convince him to attend. It is jot in your best interest not to receive his blessings while going into marriage.
That institution is deeper than what you are seeing from outside. Pray, beg him and appeal to people he respect to help you talk to him.

I have, they spoke to him and he banned them from attending.....

I haven't discussed my next steps with any family members yet.


He's the family breadwinner


If you are richer than my dad, he will never walk with you.

If he can't talk to you anyhow, he will never walk with you.


When we talk of parents blessings, what about my mum that is no more, or people without parents...

90 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by LilMissFavvy(f): 5:57pm On Apr 21, 2019
Your message isn't clear. Maybe typing error. You didn't state the year your mum died, etc.

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Marriage26: 5:59pm On Apr 21, 2019
Emescot:


Then why are you trying to break the family history, impregnate the girl, if that will make him happy


It's against my faith bro. God had been arranging my life for me since, and this is one of God's institutions , I have to follow his rule..

280 Likes 15 Shares

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Marriage26: 6:50pm On Apr 21, 2019
Marriage26:
Good day nairalander,

I am a popular jingo nairalander but got to hide under this moniker...


I have been dating my fiancee for the past 7 years, she had met my parents and I have met her's many times . We planned to get married earlier year. But it was the year my mother left this planet, I informed my family I wanted to get married but they declined, saying, it must be over years of mumsy's demise before I can marry.


We've fixed introduction days 3ice and it got cancelled by my father, what's his reason?


1. NYSC: I was posted to serve in the Northern part of the country 3 years ago, I went to camp, but I couldn't cope with the weather and couldn't leave my business as NYSC won't guarantee me job and I don't have other option. I absconded from the service and faced my business which I saved profits in 7 digits in same year, God made me comfortable.

2: He said I should rather impregnate the girl (backdoor talk)



I am close to my late 20s, he already banned all family members as many depend on him from attending my introduction.

He cancelled my introduction without fixing a new date.

My in-law trust me and ready to release the lady to me as I haven't had sex with her since 2012 that we've been dating...


And Also, God had supplied all I needed for my wedding from A-Z.



Do you think this is a cogent reason?. I want to ahead with my wedding plans...


Kindly advise....Thanks


Cc:


Farano , lalasticlala
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Ishilove: 6:56pm On Apr 21, 2019
The same God who has been arranging your life will break down your father's stony heart. Keep firm because men like you are very, very rare. You are a gem.

208 Likes 11 Shares

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by anthonyuncle(m): 8:01pm On Apr 21, 2019
put it in prayer

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Marriage26: 8:16pm On Apr 21, 2019
Ishilove:
The same God who has been arranging your life will break down your father's stony heart. Keep firm because men like you are very, very rare. You are a gem.


Thanks ma'am...

16 Likes

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Nobody: 8:19pm On Apr 21, 2019
If your Father DOES NOT give his approval, dont force it.
If he tries to impose a Girl on you, kindly reject it.
Your Father has his REASONS for asking u to impregnate the Girl first. Now, why is it that u havent tasted d kpekus for good 7 years.....

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by sholikay(m): 8:24pm On Apr 21, 2019
"The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will." proverb 21:1 ..since you claimed to be a strong Christian who believes in prayer and God's plan,why not pray with the above bible verse,I believe God will touch his heart..kuz I will never advice you marry against any of your parent's will/wish.. God will guide you.

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Nobody: 11:13pm On Apr 21, 2019
I know you are most likely Yoruba because Yoruba parents like to interfere in their children's marriage or who they marry. And yoruba sons listen to them like babies. But this is totally opposite with Igbos; Igbo parents can never interfere in whom their sons choose to marry. They may advise their daughters but for the men, it's like man and man thing, no matter how powerful the father is, he lets his sons do as they wish!

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Xisnin(m): 11:15pm On Apr 21, 2019
Marriage26:



My papa no get emotion o... We were brought up with iron hands, bro, the matter pass Abacha regime. He's a dictator... Impregnating before wedding is against my faith but he's surface Christian, and by the way, while growing up, he beats us for not remembering church sermon.


I have met him severally, he never gave any reason, also in the history of the family, I am the first person that want to pay a lady bride price before pregnancy or living together or attempting wedding...

Tell him you are pregnant.
If that doesn't work, it is time to start acting like a man and not a scared kid.
If push come to shove, settle for court marriage and invite 5-10 people only.

26 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by 4601CE(m): 11:16pm On Apr 21, 2019
Oga leave him alone and do your thing.
If he's also doing something. dont attend .
case closed!!

18 Likes

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by lonelydora: 11:16pm On Apr 21, 2019
No matter what happens, make sure you receive your father's blessing

4 Likes

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Denikayan: 11:16pm On Apr 21, 2019
Use your dad for money rituals

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by incogni2o: 11:19pm On Apr 21, 2019
I pray God will ease your Dad's fears or Heart.

1 Like

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by dingbang(m): 11:19pm On Apr 21, 2019
God hardens and softens the hearts of men at his will.

1 Like

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by agabaI23(m): 11:20pm On Apr 21, 2019
Budex40:
If your Father DOES NOT give his approval, dont force it.
If he tries to impose a Girl on you, kindly reject it.
Your Father has his REASONS for asking u to impregnate the Girl first. Now, why is it that u havent tasted d kpekus for good 7 years.....
Did you read the post?

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Blingblings(m): 11:20pm On Apr 21, 2019
Am not sure your dad wants your progress.. Freestyle that man and do your thing. Your dad is a sadist, possibly diabolic. Its obvious he's not happy because you don't depend on him. He wants everyone to be under him. Something else dey involved.

Btw, how did your mum die, are you still sure him no use her for sacrifice??

45 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by tellwisdom: 11:20pm On Apr 21, 2019
Wetin old man see while seated, small pikin no go see am while standing. Your peanut dey shack you, na why u feel say u no fit follow em advise.

My nicca, your fertility needs to be checked. My 0 cent undecided

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by TonyeBarcanista(m): 11:20pm On Apr 21, 2019
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by OgogoroFreak(m): 11:21pm On Apr 21, 2019
What do you expect from your dad when you choose to marry a public toilet for a wife?

Your Dad simply wants you to impregnate the olosho first cos he suspect the bitch has no womb - the reason she didn't let you fvck since 2012 you met her.

Weytin old man dey see from where he sitdown, small boy no fit see am even if he climb mountain.

21 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Florblu(f): 11:23pm On Apr 21, 2019
Marry your wife legally,don't get her pregnant.
Ignore your dad, he will still come around

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Olukologia24592(m): 11:23pm On Apr 21, 2019
Marriage26:



My papa no get emotion o... We were brought up with iron hands, bro, the matter pass Abacha regime. He's a dictator... Impregnating before wedding is against my faith but he's surface Christian, and by the way, while growing up, he beats us for not remembering church sermon.


I have met him severally, he never gave any reason, also in the history of the family, I am the first person that want to pay a lady bride price before pregnancy or living together or attempting wedding...
Bro, I'm a Christian that attends Pentecostal church, with what you've said, its a family thing, so the devil is trying to manipulate your way. Because you are about to give heaven joy. All you need now, FAST FOR 7DAYS tell God to help you break that jinx. I'm not a pastor but I speak based on the direction of the spirit

37 Likes

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