It is well
I was in a similar situation many years ago when I wanted to get married
My family was not in support of me marrying my wife!
I had to go on a 3-day fasting retreat and God spoke to me to go ahead!
I did! Some members of my family grudgingly attended.!
After the wedding I had to apply diplomacy, prayer and show of love to all members of my family (my family is quite large)
Today we are living in peace and splendor

There are other things I cannot say here about the outcome of the evil doers and tale-bearers originally pulling the strings of discord!

As Kingdom beings we walk not by sight, feelings or emotions
Shalom

Possibly there are more to the issue I will say try as much as you can to really find out why I'm sure you will ends up understanding the reason that is my advise.

Biglittlelois:
Be patient, continue to make money, heed to your dad's advice, he knows best, why are you in a hurry to marry since you are not in your 30s? Or is it sex with her you're eager to taste, though I don't believe you've not had sex with her for 7 years, best of luck any way.

WHAT IS D PROBLEM WITH PEOPLE TO ACCEPT THAT ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE, WE HV DIFFERENT LEVELS OF STRENGTH. WHAT IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH ME OR U IS VERY POSSIBLE WITH OTHERS. ACCEPT IT OR KEEP QUIET FOREVER. A DEPRAVED SOCIETY WE ARE IN IS NOT COMPLETELY OURS. U BELIEVE OR NOT LIFE GOES ON. IT DOES NOT ALTER D BEST OF D TRUTH OF LIFE.

agabaI23:
Did you read the post?

Ogbeni, i read d post very well. The Q i have for you is that why havent u tasted d kpekus for 7years ??
Dont give me any religious B.S

Budex40:


Ogbeni, i read d post very well. The Q i have for you is that why havent u tasted d kpekus for 7years ??
Dont give me any religious B.S

He is not a dog. He is religious and it is against his faith to Bleep before wedding.

This OP na guy man ooo....I don't even understand what he was trying to see.
Tell us the issue u are having with ur popsy so that we can proffer better solution to u.
This ur half baked story no make sense to me oo.

Olu20090:
I know you are most likely Yoruba because Yoruba parents like to interfere in their children's marriage or who they marry. And yoruba sons listen to them like babies. But this is totally opposite with Igbos; Igbo parents can never interfere in whom their sons choose to marry. They may advise their daughters but for the men, it's like man and man thing, no matter how powerful the father is, he lets his sons do as they wish!

lmao

they don't interfere my black arse

how many igbo mother's are happy with their sons marrying Yoruba women

I'm a Lagos kid, and I have seen this play out again again and again over the decades of my existence on planet earth.

The family will throw spanner in the works if the Igbo man want to marry his Yoruba heartthrob

It's even worse if the man is from anambra.

so what are you saying?

interference is an African patent palava

agabaI23:
He is not a dog. He is religious and it is against his faith to Bleep before wedding.

I think his Father has COGENT reasons for asking him to do that....

Let me tell u something , do u know that there are some ladies who dont have Vaginal Opening
Infact, some have vaginal opening but no uterus.
They dont menstruate. You'll never find them buying sanitary pads. if they strip naked , they look exactly like normal(hairy, clitoris, and fine shape) but when u want to chook preek, u'll b looking for the hole upandan. They'll b telling u no Sex until wedding cos they know u cant go back once u've married them.....

So, OP take time to conduct thorough research on your G.F and also talk privately with your DAD. Trust me, these Old Men sabi wetin we no sabi.
Nevertheless, ur Father might just have a hunch about the whole thing. Talk to him.

Dear OP,
After reading your write up, I have two questions for:
- are you richer than your dad?
- I want to confirm if he has been controlling your life before now.
Thank you

[s]

Budex40:


I think his Father has COGENT reasons for asking him to do that....

Let me tell u something , do u know that there are some ladies who dont have Vaginal Opening
Infact, some have vaginal opening but no uterus.
They dont menstruate. You'll never find them buying sanitary pads. if they strip naked , they look exactly like normal(hairy, clitoris, and fine shape) but when u want to chook preek, u'll b looking for the hole upandan. They'll b telling u no Sex until wedding cos they know u cant go back once u've married them.....

So, OP take time to conduct thorough research on your G.F and also talk privately with your DAD. Trust me, these Old Men sabi wetin we no sabi.
Nevertheless, ur Father might just have a hunch about the whole thing. Talk to him.

[/s]Long piece of crap.

tosyne2much:
This is exactly what I'm saying... I think it's way too early to start planning your own marriage if one's mom actually passed away in February

according to OP. She passed away last year February.
Marriage26, na so ba?

ZIMDRILL:



may be we understood it differently

his mum passed away early this year and the son wants to marry this year too

i know culture are different, where i came from there should be a year of family morning,

then memorial service is done a year on whether church service or a traditional ceremony

in my culture thats when the hubby is set free to date/remarry to some


so this boy cant morn is mother by allowing the one year the father request ?

He skipped some link words but from my understanding, his mum passed away last year or previous. The first excuse was that he couldn't get married so soon after his Mum's death and he waited......

Viking007:
[s][/s]Long piece of crap.

OK

Marriage26:


I have, they spoke to him and he banned them from attending.....

I haven't discussed my next steps with any family members yet.


He's the family breadwinner


If you are richer than my dad, he will never walk with you.

If he can't talk to you anyhow, he will never walk with you.


When we talk of parents blessings, what about my mum that is no more, or people without parents...

Lol. Your dad has low self esteem
Sorry to say

And you dated for 7 years without penising the girl? It's either you don't know how to knack and are hiding under the guise of religion or your manhood has issues
... Or you be 1minute man
Lol Nawa

Young man be careful.Its in your interest you have Parental blessings over your marriage Covenant as it's biblical.I have carefully read all the antics on this post,but you are dancing to those who will come to discuss your problems than solution.Even a mad man has a friend. For your marriage to be lasting let your father be,get his intimate friends to talk to him,it will surprise you his fears.what an elderly man sees while sitting down,a young man on ten storey building will not.i wish you well brother.

Marriage26:



My papa no get emotion o... We were brought up with iron hands, bro, the matter pass Abacha regime. He's a dictator... Impregnating before wedding is against my faith but he's surface Christian, and by the way, while growing up, he beats us for not remembering church sermon.


I have met him severally, he never gave any reason, also in the history of the family, I am the first person that want to pay a lady bride price before pregnancy or living together or attempting wedding...

I commend you for trying to break the family yoke/curse of paying a bride price before pregnancy, living together with your wife to be and attempting a wedding.
When something good of this nature is about to happen the devil always come in with another game plan.
Your father is been used as an antagonist against you' not his fault though'.
Pray and fast bro. With GOD all things are possible.

hustla:



Lol. Your dad has low self esteem
Sorry to say

And you dated for 7 years without penising the girl? It's either you don't know how to knack and are hiding under the guise of religion or your manhood has issues
... Or you be 1minute man
Lol Nawa

maybe he dey knack other girls, come dey preserve the one he want marriage. But is possible say na virgin self which is not an offence.
Here in North i stayed, u go see person dey preserve his finance for like 10 years self but e go dey knack olosho evertime, while the finance go dey busy dey cover her face with black veil abe na mask i go call am self.

Ugosample:


lmao

they don't interfere my black arse

how many igbo mother's are happy with their sons marrying Yoruba women

I'm a Lagos kid, and I have seen this play out again again and again over the decades of my existence on planet earth.

The family will throw spanner in the works if the Igbo man want to marry his Yoruba heartthrob

It's even worse if the man is from anambra.

so what are you saying?

interference is an African patent palava

I don't know or have ever met any Igbo man that want to marry a yoruba woman....never.

HitSong:

You deserve a ban for that crime
I'm going to report you.

they guy absconded from his nysc assignment hehehehe Las Las everyone Na scam for naija

robosky02:


Ishilove

Robosky02

Olu20090:


I don't know or have ever met any Igbo man that want to marry a yoruba woman....never.

you see what I am talking about?

from this, you have proven that you will attempt to scuttle your son marriage if he wants to matty Yoruba

and you say IGBO dey free on the subject matter lol

if you were born and raised in Lagos (not that you immigrated from elsewhere ) you will know that such unions are very common

I have Yoruba in law aplenty

This is what happens when you have a very possessive father. He thinks he owns you and can dictate who you should spend your life with and when. Some parents can make like so miserable for their children. When they push them to suicide, they'll start shedding crocodile tears. Oga follow your heart. Your dad will come around. Afterall i doubt his own parents restricted him this much.

Marriage26:



My papa no get emotion o... We were brought up with iron hands, bro, the matter pass Abacha regime. He's a dictator... Impregnating before wedding is against my faith but he's surface Christian, and by the way, while growing up, he beats us for not remembering church sermon.


I have met him severally, he never gave any reason, also in the history of the family, I am the first person that want to pay a lady bride price before pregnancy or living together or attempting wedding...

my dear, your father wants you to repeat an evil family pattern..... there's something he is not telling you.... I will advise you prayerfully go into this wedding arrangements because I have seen situations where people broke evil family patterns without enough backing via Prayers and they ended up not enjoying the marriage as they didn't live long or the marriage scattered for no reasonable reason or they began to experience serious financial problems after marriage that made them return to square one......

engage your father in a serious talk and ask him what is in family that makes people not to marry honorably.... then you can ask your pastor to join you in Prayers or any genuine pastor you know.... you should also tell your fiancee your family history so she will join you in Prayers...... speaking from experience o.... you can DM me if you want to....

lonelydora:
No matter what happens, make sure you receive your father's blessing

this is the problem with you guys, Bleep fathers blessing. what about orphans, who blesses them?
All you need in this life is God's blessings that's all.

helpee:
You got married recently so you don't even know the kind of wife you see in fairytale. Ninety percent of marriages are like heaven on Earth the first year. You can only tell us your experience after at least 10yrs . I wish you marital bliss though but it is too early to know wether your wife was indeed worth the fight

Thanks for your input Sir, but consider this :
1. There are people, who stay married for 20+ years but eventually divorce, take Jeff and his wife, the Amazon billionaire for example.

2. In some scenarios experience does not necessarily mean "experiencing what you would like to have", it can mean experiencing what you wouldn't like to have .What am I trying to say, take for example if you have seen Nigeria all your life and have lived in poverty but get a chance for an all expense paid trip and a good job, a good house to America, or a well developed country, wouldn't you jump at it ?.Or if you have lived in Ajegunle in a one bedroom apartment all your life but someone blesses you with a free duplex in a developed area of Lagos and a car wouldn't you take it . ? Bottom line, I see girls around, even on the internet.Its become considerably easy to differentiate from the bad,good,better and the best ones.

3.I have seen good and bad marriages around me all my life, I have seen the ones that have lasted and the ones that have broken off in a short while, I have weighed them all, closely monitored them, taken note of the ingredients that made the ones that stayed strong.I am not claiming to be all knowing, but a lot can be learnt by listening and observing to the things that happen around you .Experience they say is the best teacher, but what most people don't add to that saying is that the experiences does not necessarily have to be your own.





My point is no matter how good or bad people are, marriages can still fail. The bottom line is that there are some key qualities one should look out for, that cannot be neglected. Once those qualities are present, both parties in the marriage should be ready to be committed to become better people everyday, be committed to making things work.As I said I am not all knowing, couple all those with God's grace and guidance, seeking His wisdom everyday you won't fail .

Marriage26:




As a Christian, I have actually used all the kingdom mysteries I know, prayer o, blood of Jesus, blood of sprinkling , I have fasted, I have been to mountains. And when things like this happened to me in the past, God is saying " use your common sense or the solution is rather physical rather than spiritual and I need to take a step or look inward...

I like that part, sometimes God gives us what we need to solve a problem, but we still "stress him", keep praying but you also have to act physically too as you said . Be strategic, be bold.Faith without works is dead

Marriage26:



My papa no get emotion o... We were brought up with iron hands, bro, the matter pass Abacha regime. He's a dictator... Impregnating before wedding is against my faith but he's surface Christian, and by the way, while growing up, he beats us for not remembering church sermon.


I have met him severally, he never gave any reason, also in the history of the family, I am the first person that want to pay a lady bride price before pregnancy or living together or attempting wedding...

If all efforts don't work out please go ahead, he will realize his mistake
How can a father ask his son to impregnate someone's daughter

Emescot:


Then why are you trying to break the family history, impregnate the girl, if that will make him happy

Huh?

Donjazzy12:

Bottom line don't disobey your father!

As much as we should respect our fathers, the bible for a reason said we would leave our fathers and mothers and cleave to our wives.
As experienced as fathers are their decision for YOUR life may not always be the best.They are humans too, they make mistakes.

Donald3d:

I got married recently, I am probably much younger than you are, I was practically in your shoes .
I wouldn't want to give to much details, because privacy is important, but I would say this :
No matter what happens, stand your ground, there is only so much resistance a father can give no matter how strict he is or thinks he is .
I didn't give her belle, I married her because she was a gem I couldn't afford to lose.The kind of girl you only see in fairy tales .
If your wife to be is that kind of girl, don't lose her because of your father's decision.You would regret it for the rest of your life. Just be sure she is worth the fight, if she is. STAND YOUR GROUND.You are a man .

Try and find diplomatic ways to resolve it, pray also a whole lot, you have no idea how much prayers can move mountains.Every man has a weak point, find your father's weak point and use it against him, play the fool if you have to and at the end of the day the end goal is getting your wife.

If the drama gets too much she might leave you, trust me, women don't like too much drama no matter how much they love you, especially in this case when she has been with you this long.

If your father is still "doing strong head", please go to your in-laws collect the list and pay her dowry . You already said they trust you. She is marrying you and not your father, from what you said, its not like he doesn't like the girl, he just wants to be stubborn. But I know he would come around, find his weak point and use it against him and win him over, that's what I did.

Don't suffer a life time of regret losing the love of your life because you couldn't stand up to your father.This is one of of your first tests of being a true man.Please pass it
Marriage26

UPDATE : Since you are Christian consider this bible passage. I reminded myself of it almost everyday :
The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will. Prov 21 VS 1
Make sure you and bae pray and fast fervently together. No battle is insurmountable as long as the person no be God, there is a solution.

Marriage26 please go with this advice.

Not all parents act in wisdom, they just act according to their selfish interests and try to show that they are boss.

Forget all that getting father's blessings or whatever and elder sees sitting down nonsense. Sometimes they use it to manipulate their kids. Act like a man not a kid that is scared of his papa

Olu20090:
I know you are most likely Yoruba because Yoruba parents like to interfere in their children's marriage or who they marry. And yoruba sons listen to them like babies. But this is totally opposite with Igbos; Igbo parents can never interfere in whom their sons choose to marry. They may advise their daughters but for the men, it's like man and man thing, no matter how powerful the father is, he lets his sons do as they wish!

You don't know what you are saying most you bring tribal issue to your talk. Advise him stop saying rubish