QueenSekxy:

Thanks, I will be putting this into practise.

Also, or rather most important stop talking to yourself. The voices in your head is leading yku6a wrong path. Subtle mental unfitness


Start giving people the benefit of a doubt.





Please study conflict avoidant behavior as its deeply rooted in this

QueenSekxy:

Thank you.
I avoid every chance of talking to/with people.
There's this neighbour that started coming close to me, trying to gist with me and all, I still find it irritating.

I just don't like talking to people, I really wish to stop but it's getting serious.

Phew. I know how you feel. The truth is, you can't totally leave that shell, but you can be a little more outgoing. I really don't have any corrective measures to prescribe for you because I'm exactly like you.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Phew. I know how you feel. The truth is, you can't totally leave that shell, but you can be a little more outgoing. I really don't have any corrective measures to prescribe for you because I'm exactly like you.

I suggest you both befriend yourselves. It can help you both... trust me.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Your last paragraph summarizes it all. I'm worried about the same thing too. I can't even sustain new relationships because I feel I don't need anybody. I just drift off..

I think you need a therapist abi na psychiatrist. I even need it more.

God help us.
Even where I'm working now, the Manager has called me severally on this communication issue, I gave him my own reply and it wasn't even looking like I heeded to his advise cos I will be leaving there soon.

QueenSekxy:
I mean, even for old people. This scary and it's becoming worse everyday.

eheh! this matter serious ooo! wait oo are you into any form of "Dating"?

MiddleSpot:



I read your thread. Do you know they say habits form by doing things repeatedly overtime for a period of 20days. Begin to let people win you in arguments voluntarily not proving your right.


Declutter your mind by changing the movies you watch and friends you hang out with


Stay away from controversial circumstances


Make new friends new company, do things differently. If you do this, mental flexibility will be developed and you can see people as they are right or wrong and accommodate them better


Finally, learn to be responsive not reactive. Wait till you hear the last word from people before you talk. Practice silence and thought management. Do not let your thoughts roam and rule you over.

Thanks for your prescription. How do I practice silence and thought management? Are there books to read on that?

UyaiIncomparabl:


Thanks for your prescription. How do I practice silence and thought management? Are there books to read on that?

Yours is special from hers o. Your a virgo an, you should understand yours is nature. Rather than try to kill it, men how did I undo mine o. Na long story.


You're a virgo so it's this way for all of us.



Try not to react to pictures your brain shows you. I use a sit down and wait approach for example. If anything happens, no matter if the house is burning, I simply say I'll wait for all sides to be heard before I hush. This enforces your inner core to be less frantic and more rational so it doesn't excessively throw you off balance.


Cosmicdroid come view this thread please and back me up

UyaiIncomparabl:


Phew. I know how you feel. The truth is, you can't totally leave that shell, but you can be a little more outgoing. I really don't have any corrective measures to prescribe for you because I'm exactly like you.

Nne, I pray things get better.
I do go out with my day 1s friends, but in a very long time.
Say, once in 4-6 months.

Worst is that, ive started strategizing on how to avoid people when I go to camp.
Lol

QueenSekxy:

Nne, I pray things get better.
I do go out with my day 1s friends, but in a very long time.
Say, once in 4-6 months.

Worst is that, ive started strategizing on how to avoid people when I go to camp.
Lol

Told ya, it forces you to see things before they happen. You have an escape plan hatched for everything. James bond

MiddleSpot:



Also, or rather most important stop talking to yourself. The voices in your head is leading yku6a wrong path. Subtle mental unfitness


Start giving people the benefit of a doubt.





Please study conflict avoidant behavior as its deeply rooted in this

I Will, surely.

Thank you so much.

MiddleSpot:



Told ya, it forces you to see things before they happen. You have an escape plan hatched for everything. James bond

Lol. Funny but true.
That's what have been going through my mind since this year.

Lol

QueenSekxy:

God help us.
Even where I'm working now, the Manager has called me severally on this communication issue, I gave him my own reply and it wasn't even looking like I heeded to his advise cos I will be leaving there soon.

Yea. Communication is often a problem for an introvert. In public places/gatherings, when I sit with people and they discuss, I just remain silent all through listening and listening and they wonder why I don't chip in to their discussions. Some think I'm dumb or totally clueless/unintelligent to join in the discourse, but to me, I find it a problem to talk or start talking over petty/trivial issues that don't concern me. People usually think I'm snobbish, cold or being proud but they're just totally wrong.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Thanks for your prescription. How do I practice silence and thought management? Are there books to read on that?

Teachings of the soul. Mastering the soul. Google will help. As a Christian, I follow the Christianity way, and for this l only found two persons who wrote on this one is Watchman Née. Go find his book The Spiritual man

QueenSekxy:

Lol. Funny but true.
That's what have been going through my mind since this year.

Lol

I can bet you've suspected me twice already

UyaiIncomparabl:


Yea. Communication is often a problem for an introvert. In public places/gatherings, when I sit with people and they discuss, I just remain silent all through listening and listening and they wonder why I don't chip in to their discussions. Some think I'm dumb or totally clueless/unintelligent to join in the discourse, but to me, I find it a problem to talk or start talking over petty/trivial issues that don't concern me. People usually think I'm snobbish, cold or being proud but they're just totally wrong.

Exactly.

Lol, I remembered when I was in school, nobody knew me till 300level when the result was pasted and I was second best in GP.
That was how I got noticed in dept.
I had only one friend in school till I left

MiddleSpot:



I can bet you've suspected me twice already

Lool.

Can we move this thread to Fp please for people with similar issues mods...

QueenSekxy:

Lool.

Stop living for your thoughts. Your fears and insecurities are hindering you from forming meaningful relations with people. Start online, make friends outside your familiar zone.


Begin the change you want offline online.


Start engaging in practical meaningful discussions engaging new persons staying away from old friends if possible.

MiddleSpot:



Teachings of the soul. Mastering the soul. Google will help. As a Christian, I follow the Christianity way, and for this l only found two persons who wrote on this one is Watchman Née. Go find his book The Spiritual man

I really need any Christian book that can help me.

There are no medals for greeting people. You are absolutely normal. You can have 1000 friends and 5000 WhatsApp contacts and be useless in life. You can have few and still achieve your purpose on earth.

You're not on earth to associate with everyone you meet. Jesus Christ met a lot, had only 12 loyalists and his family, 3 close associates, and he achieved his purpose while on earth.

Bottom line is that know why you are here. Understand your purpose in life and work in that direction.

If you have the means, you can also consider moving to highly introverted countries like Austria, Denmark, Sweden, etc. where people love to mind their business. Nigeria is one of world's most extroverted countries, where people feel they have the right to your greeting, the right to come to your party/house uninvited, the right to train and 'untrain' your kids, and the right to insult you when you don't feed their ego.

QueenSekxy:

I really need any Christian book that can help me.

Find the spiritual man by Watchman Née part one to three.


Then though this one feels like marriage oh, but it will help you understand what's happening. Find this book, you will thank me for pointing you to it.


Donald Harvey how to talk yourself to an intimate marriage

MiddleSpot:



Stop living for your thoughts. Your fears and insecurities are hindering you from forming meaningful relations with people. Start online, make friends outside your familiar zone.


Begin the change you want offline online.


Start engaging in practical meaningful discussions engaging new persons staying away from old friends if possible.

Yeah. True, I always want my bf to behave like me by avoiding people too.

QueenSekxy:

Exactly.

Lol, I remembered when I was in school, nobody knew me till 300level when the result was pasted and I was second best in GP.
That was how I got noticed in dept.
I had only one friend in school till I left

Oh yea. That's a trait of a loner. You do not feel pain/grief for a long time. The only reason i'll love for you to be more outgoing is because of the future connections you might have with people, especially business. You won't sell and make prospective clients if you keep being detached.

Acidosis:


There are no medals for greeting people. You are absolutely normal. You can have 1000 friends and 5000 WhatsApp contacts and be useless in life. You can have few and still achieve your purpose on earth.

You're not on earth to associate with everyone you meet. Jesus Christ met a lot, had only 12 loyalists, 3 close associates, and he achieved his purpose.

Bottom line is that know why you are here. Understand your purpose in life and work in that direction.

Thank you.
Even without having much friends, I've succeeded in my endeavours, that's also why I think I really don't need much friends but then, I'm still scared of what the future holds cos I really have long way to go.

QueenSekxy:

Yeah. True, I always want my bf to behave like me by avoiding people too.

Smh. Find Donald Harvey his books addresses your concerns it's the ministry God gave him. Forget about finding his books in Nigeria though. You've got to buy them online
. His information is golden. You will not forget this day if you read his books. Oh, he's a psychiatrist

QueenSekxy:

Yeah. True, I always want my bf to behave like me by avoiding people too.

Same here. Mustn't even be my boyfriend.

I will always be like 'come, make we pass the other street, I no wan greet that man' or 'no look that man side, I no wan greet am' or 'face front, no greet am joor'! Very crazy but true.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Oh yea. That's a trait of a loner. You do not feel pain/grief for a long time. The only reason i'll love for you to be more outgoing is because of the future connections you might have with people, especially business. You won't sell and make prospective clients if you keep being detached.

My dear.
Truth is this, my background too has made me a bit confident in myself and less dependent on people.

But then, I really do not know what tomorrow holds.
Hope you are trying to curtail yours?

QueenSekxy:

Thank you.
Even without having much friends, I've succeeded in my endeavours, that's also why I think I really don't need much friends but then, I'm still scared of what the future holds cos I really have long way to go.

Scare..... Insecurity.



Always monitor and confront what motivates your behavior each time you want to act that way. By telling yourself the motivation of my behavior is the fear of this person not that that person has done anything,you can begin to be more lenient.


Remember Paul said something about capturing every thought that exalts itself above/against God. This is capturing your very thoughts that motivates and produces action in you

QueenSekxy:

Thank you.
Even without having much friends, I've succeeded in my endeavours, that's also why I think I really don't need much friends but then, I'm still scared of what the future holds cos I really have long way to go.

You only see this as a problem because you live in one of world's most extroverted countries. You are in a country where people believe they have the right to your greeting. You are not responsible for another man's insatiable greed to your greetings. What the future holds depends on how much effort you make to feed your ego, not another man's ego.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Same here. Mustn't even be my boyfriend.

I will always be like 'come, make we pass the other street, I no wan greet that man' or 'no look that man side, I no wan greet am' or 'face front, no greet am joor'! Very crazy but true.

Lol. That's my everyday work oo.
Looking sideways cos I don't want to see people I might know, or taking longer path to avoid meeting people.

QueenSekxy:

My dear.
Truth is this, my background too has made me a bit confident in myself and less dependent on people.

But then, I really do not know what tomorrow holds.
Hope you are trying to curtail yours?

Wow. Lucky you then!

For myself, I just keep going back and forth, that is acting irredeemable. May God hep us all.

Acidosis:


You only see this as a problem because you live in one of world's most extroverted countries. You are in a country where people believe they have the right to your greeting. You are not responsible for another man's insatiable greed to your greetings. What the future holds depends on how much effort you make to feed your ego, not another man's ego.

Lol. Thank you.
I like you already