Even though it’s one of the greatest fears of many parents, most of them often don’t realise their child is being bullied until it’s too late. The child may not want to tattle tale from fear of being subjected to more harassment by the bully or the child might be ashamed to spill his or her woe or show their wound.[i][/i]

There are numerous other reasons your child may choose to suffer in silence if he or she is being bullied. Therefore, you know it is your job to stay vigilant for your child and watch out for any worrying signs of bullying when they are away at school with their schoolmates and teachers.

Typically, the bully is a class or school mate who is a brat and often older. But what about when the teacher is the bully? The internet went into a rage recently over a viral video of a preschool teacher in South Africa repeatedly and despitefully beating a sick child of about 2 or 3 years old. The child was whimpering, visibly terrified and helpless. Needless to say, the video tore viewers’ heart out, especially parents.

The majority of teachers at standard schools are well trained for the job and know how to keep your child at ease and in the best frame of mind to learn. Many of them will go the extra mile to do this and earn the love and trust of the child. But there are teachers who do not handle their responsibilities well and some will even bully the kids in their class.

Instead of using proper classroom management techniques and mildly correcting a child where necessary, they use their physical strength to harass the child or manipulate or ridicule them. So, the child not only gets hurt physically but also feels and endures psychological pain.

Parents should note, however, that this piece is not an encouragement to them to overprotect or obsess over the child. It is just for them to be aware. Sometimes, older kids like teenagers may just need a bit of the toughness to navigate life better as adults.

You don’t go to school with your child every day, and so you really don’t have an idea about what happens there. But if your child is being bullied at school or elsewhere, there’ll be subtle signs.

Here some early signs to look out for if you suspect someone or some people are bullying your little one at school.


Your child frequently feigns sickness to avoid going to school

If your child is normally happy to go to school but has suddenly started developing cold feet or fakes headaches, stomach aches or some other illness, especially in the morning when it’s time for school, then something is amiss. It could be he or she is being bullied by someone in their school.

Your child may be feigning sickness to avoid the bullying or it could as a result of the bullying – or both. It should get you more curious and worried if your kid never makes similar complains and is his or her normal lively self during the weekend.

For preschoolers and junior schoolers, watch out for repeated excuses to skip school and stay at home, such as headaches or joint aches.

Instead of getting frustrated by your child’s reluctance to go to school, sit down with him or her and ask why they don’t like school anymore. Be patient and attentive, as your child may be nervous at first.

He/she becomes sad, moody and withdrawn – unusually so

Has your child’s general mood shifted? Was he or she usually excited whenever going to and coming back from school, but is now lethargic and sad? Worse still, won’t the child say what the problem is?

Psychologically, the child may have started associating his or her school with fear and anxiety rather than their previous view of it as a place for fun and learning. They may start to become indifferent to school and school work and their academic performance may drop.

While this could be hormonal changes kicking in if your child is a teenager, it could also be a sign someone is repetitively hurting your child at school. You know your child best and so should be able to quickly spot a change in their demeanour.

Torn clothes, curious bruises and scratch marks


If your child cannot reasonably explain why a small area of their clothing is torn or why their books have been missing more than two or three times, then you should investigate. If also the child sometimes has strange bruises or scratch marks on a part of their body, the child may be a victim of playground bullying. Ask your child about these things.

If he or she is mute, evasive or cannot explain them, ask them open-ended questions to try to unearth the truth. Questions like: “What happened today during school break?” “How did you feel when that happened?”

The child suddenly has problem sleeping

According to studies, 36% of children who have sleeping problems are silently suffering from bullying. Such children may experience parasomnia or nightmares. In addition, children who are victims of bullying may be depressed, which causes them to either sleep too much or have difficulty sleeping.

Withdrawal from regular friends’ group

If you notice your kid begin to keep away from his or her regular cycle of friends, keep a note of that and try to find out why. Your child may be avoiding her old group of friends because they are now friends with the bullies. Take a close look at the group to see the new face or faces, and right there you may find your answer!

Your child skips meal at school but binges at home

Has your child been weirdly coming home from school with their lunch box untouched and yet hungry? And even more strangely, they binge at night? Something may not be right.

Generalized fear

If you observe your child is developing a general paranoia and distrust about almost everyone and everything around him or her, you should get bothered. That’s often a sign of a deeper problem, and bullying at school is often a culprit.

For example, you may notice a silent generalized fear in his or her eyes and demeanour when you’re walking with them to school, they want to take the school bus, or taking part in a class group activity.

Your child starts to bully other kids

This may surprise a lot of parents, but yes, if your child is being bullied at school, he may be subconsciously conditioned to think being aggressive with his younger or weaker siblings and peers can get him what he wants, and when he wants it.

This is sometimes a natural consequence of being bullied and you should be worried if your formerly easy-going son begins to get assertive and uncooperative with his friends, siblings and even you, his parent.


What to do as a parent…

If you have a strong suspicion or a “good” evidence someone may be bullying your kid at school, your first instincts could be to storm the school, all guns blazing, and confront the bully.

But sometimes, it’s best to use a more delicate approach.

First, make sure you’re keeping your emotions in check and avoid impulsive reactions. Speak to the teacher or school administrator, since these people spend more time with your child during the week. Well trained educators will also considerably understand your kid almost as much as you do, and can easily spot when the child is exhibiting changing behaviours.

On a final note, it is important that you build a solid relationship with your child, so if they are experiencing anything unusual or worried about someone or something at school, they can trust and feel comfortable telling you about it. Children will stay close to people they find helpful and supportive.

http://theischooler.com/2019/05/04/early-signs-your-child-might-be-getting-bullied-at-school/

Shuuu

I wish parents would also teach their kids not to bully others too simply cos they are different

Some parents don't want to accept they messed up

Ok

This is a very important issue that needs to be addressed. Especially considering the fact that this is one area of child abuse that feminists misandrists have refused to address since the overwhelming cases of these abuses are committed by women to whom these children have been entrusted to.

hmmmmmmm

Please who has an idea of what was done to that teacher??I had to stop watching it at some point..it was heartbreaking. .prolonged bullying also leads to low self esteem..

When i was in primary school, i was bullied by an older pupil, was so scared to go to school one day and my mom had to ask. Told her everything, she told me to go to school and later came during recess. Asked to be shown the girl and the next thing i saw was a slap on her face. Teachers interfared and the issue was settled. That was the end of that issue, funny how i have reported this issue to my teacher before and nothing was done. It was a wrong but very effective method.

lepasharon:
I wish parents would also teach their kids not to bully others too simply cos they are different

Some parents don't want to accept they messed up

Most bullies in school are from dysfunctional families.

Thank you. But I will definitely go in with full guns blazing if I realize it's a teacher that bullies my child. As for a classmate, dealing with the parents is a good option.

TheiSchooler:
Even though it’s one of the greatest fears of many parents, most of them often don’t realise their child is being bullied until it’s too late. The child may not want to tattle tale from fear of being subjected to more harassment by the bully or the child might be ashamed to spill his or her woe or show their wound.[i][/i]

There are numerous other reasons your child may choose to suffer in silence if he or she is being bullied. Therefore, you know it is your job to stay vigilant for your child and watch out for any worrying signs of bullying when they are away at school with their schoolmates and teachers.

Typically, the bully is a class or school mate who is a brat and often older. But what about when the teacher is the bully? The internet went into a rage recently over a viral video of a preschool teacher in South Africa repeatedly and despitefully beating a sick child of about 2 or 3 years old. The child was whimpering, visibly terrified and helpless. Needless to say, the video tore viewers’ heart out, especially parents.

The majority of teachers at standard schools are well trained for the job and know how to keep your child at ease and in the best frame of mind to learn. Many of them will go the extra mile to do this and earn the love and trust of the child. But there are teachers who do not handle their responsibilities well and some will even bully the kids in their class.

Instead of using proper classroom management techniques and mildly correcting a child where necessary, they use their physical strength to harass the child or manipulate or ridicule them. So, the child not only gets hurt physically but also feels and endures psychological pain.

Parents should note, however, that this piece is not an encouragement to them to overprotect or obsess over the child. It is just for them to be aware. Sometimes, older kids like teenagers may just need a bit of the toughness to navigate life better as adults.

You don’t go to school with your child every day, and so you really don’t have an idea about what happens there. But if your child is being bullied at school or elsewhere, there’ll be subtle signs.

Here some early signs to look out for if you suspect someone or some people are bullying your little one at school.


Your child frequently feigns sickness to avoid going to school

If your child is normally happy to go to school but has suddenly started developing cold feet or fakes headaches, stomach aches or some other illness, especially in the morning when it’s time for school, then something is amiss. It could be he or she is being bullied by someone in their school.

Your child may be feigning sickness to avoid the bullying or it could as a result of the bullying – or both. It should get you more curious and worried if your kid never makes similar complains and is his or her normal lively self during the weekend.

For preschoolers and junior schoolers, watch out for repeated excuses to skip school and stay at home, such as headaches or joint aches.

Instead of getting frustrated by your child’s reluctance to go to school, sit down with him or her and ask why they don’t like school anymore. Be patient and attentive, as your child may be nervous at first.

He/she becomes sad, moody and withdrawn – unusually so

Has your child’s general mood shifted? Was he or she usually excited whenever going to and coming back from school, but is now lethargic and sad? Worse still, won’t the child say what the problem is?

Psychologically, the child may have started associating his or her school with fear and anxiety rather than their previous view of it as a place for fun and learning. They may start to become indifferent to school and school work and their academic performance may drop.

While this could be hormonal changes kicking in if your child is a teenager, it could also be a sign someone is repetitively hurting your child at school. You know your child best and so should be able to quickly spot a change in their demeanour.

Torn clothes, curious bruises and scratch marks


If your child cannot reasonably explain why a small area of their clothing is torn or why their books have been missing more than two or three times, then you should investigate. If also the child sometimes has strange bruises or scratch marks on a part of their body, the child may be a victim of playground bullying. Ask your child about these things.

If he or she is mute, evasive or cannot explain them, ask them open-ended questions to try to unearth the truth. Questions like: “What happened today during school break?” “How did you feel when that happened?”

The child suddenly has problem sleeping

According to studies, 36% of children who have sleeping problems are silently suffering from bullying. Such children may experience parasomnia or nightmares. In addition, children who are victims of bullying may be depressed, which causes them to either sleep too much or have difficulty sleeping.

Withdrawal from regular friends’ group

If you notice your kid begin to keep away from his or her regular cycle of friends, keep a note of that and try to find out why. Your child may be avoiding her old group of friends because they are now friends with the bullies. Take a close look at the group to see the new face or faces, and right there you may find your answer!

Your child skips meal at school but binges at home

Has your child been weirdly coming home from school with their lunch box untouched and yet hungry? And even more strangely, they binge at night? Something may not be right.

Generalized fear

If you observe your child is developing a general paranoia and distrust about almost everyone and everything around him or her, you should get bothered. That’s often a sign of a deeper problem, and bullying at school is often a culprit.

For example, you may notice a silent generalized fear in his or her eyes and demeanour when you’re walking with them to school, they want to take the school bus, or taking part in a class group activity.

Your child starts to bully other kids

This may surprise a lot of parents, but yes, if your child is being bullied at school, he may be subconsciously conditioned to think being aggressive with his younger or weaker siblings and peers can get him what he wants, and when he wants it.

This is sometimes a natural consequence of being bullied and you should be worried if your formerly easy-going son begins to get assertive and uncooperative with his friends, siblings and even you, his parent.


What to do as a parent…

If you have a strong suspicion or a “good” evidence someone may be bullying your kid at school, your first instincts could be to storm the school, all guns blazing, and confront the bully.

But sometimes, it’s best to use a more delicate approach.

First, make sure you’re keeping your emotions in check and avoid impulsive reactions. Speak to the teacher or school administrator, since these people spend more time with your child during the week. Well trained educators will also considerably understand your kid almost as much as you do, and can easily spot when the child is exhibiting changing behaviours.

On a final note, it is important that you build a solid relationship with your child, so if they are experiencing anything unusual or worried about someone or something at school, they can trust and feel comfortable telling you about it. Children will stay close to people they find helpful and supportive.

http://theischooler.com/2019/05/04/early-signs-your-child-might-be-getting-bullied-at-school/

good one

This is so true. I can relate with the fact that a bullied child tend to bully other kids.

It may be hard in these present days, but making out quality time for your kids can go a long way to protect them from being bullied, at least. We shouldn't be all about our career and how to make more money, or we may be spending our time and money to treat our bullied child. And that's not even the worst case scenario

IamShiningStar:
good one

idiot!!!give space for other people to comment

hmmm

uzobaby:
Please who has an idea of what was done to that teacher??I had to stop watching it at some point..it was heartbreaking. .prolonged bullying also leads to low self esteem..

The teacher was arrested and the school shut down. Although the teacher was later released on bail to appear in court.

https://briefly.co.za/27521-preschool-teacher-smacking-sick-child-video-arrested.html

gloria34:
When i was in primary school, i was bullied by an older pupil, was so scared to go to school one day and my mom had to ask. Told her everything, she told me to go to school and later came during recess. Asked to be shown the girl and the next thing i saw was a slap on her face. Teachers interfared and the issue was settled. That was the end of that issue, funny how i have reported this issue to my teacher before and nothing was done. It was a wrong but very effective method.

what do you want the teacher to do, if he or she punishes that child the parent will come for the teacher, he might loose his job. What your mother did was... Nowadays I hear they even sue.

Doesn't apply in Nigeria.

duvetmaster:
what do you want the teacher to do, if he or she punishes that child the parent will come for the teacher, he might loose his job. What your mother did was... Nowadays I hear they even sue.

What my mom did was wrong but it saved me from being bullied in primary school, by the time i was in secondary school, i could handle my issues myself. If i find out someone is bullying my son, i might be forced to do this cause i Dont know another effective method to use. The little boy is a fighter though (he can hold his own ground and reports everything that happens when i'm not around to me) but i feel sick just thinking about it, even reading the article didnt help at all

gloria34:
When i was in primary school, i was bullied by an older pupil, was so scared to go to school one day and my mom had to ask. Told her everything, she told me to go to school and later came during recess. Asked to be shown the girl and the next thing i saw was a slap on her face. Teachers interfared and the issue was settled. That was the end of that issue, funny how i have reported this issue to my teacher before and nothing was done. It was a wrong but very effective method.

That was wrong of ur mum to slap another person's child!

Ur mum could have asked to speak to the girls mum and tell her to correct her daughter's behaviour

lepasharon:


That was wrong of ur mum to slap another person's child!

Ur mum could have asked to speak to the girls mum and tell her to correct her daughter's behaviour

The first part of what you typed is in my post

Dear OP, thanks for starting this valuable thread. As a dad of a four years and six months old daughter who's currently in her senior year at kindergarten, the word of advice I always give her is : Never let anyone bully you! If your classmate hits you on purpose, ensure you hit back. Some kids of this generation can be extraordinarily mean.

It's hard to see a politician that's not a bully in his or her primary or secondary school days.
I don't know if I'm the only one who notices this.

Ah, they bullied me in my primary school to the extent I hated school

That guy eh, he was so fat, and he used his size as advantage to bully many of us back then, and some of our classmates turned to his friends and fans out of fear and to escape his beating

The day we all surrendered to his power was the day one courageous pupil from Class B summoned courage and confronted him, so fight was fixed to take place after school that day. We all supported the emerging warrior, hoping if he wins, we will deal mercilessly with that fat kid. I even promised to bring enough sand and grass to stuff his mouth once our warrior throws him on the floor.

O boy after school, Biggy Biggy the British Bulldog confronted our warrior, immediately our warrior dropped his school bag and fight began. We were all praying and waiting for the downfall of bulldog. Luckily our warrior threw him on the floor, rushed to hold him down so we could bring sands and grass, but the kid used his body weight to upturn our warrior, o boy see beating, I and Emeka picked race and abandoned our warrior out of fear

God saved me when my dad got transferred and I changed school, and turned to a celebrity in my new school, school became so sweet like honey

And later in secondary school, bullying returned from senior students; they almost killed me with daily flogging and punishment of junior students. They even killed one of my classmates; he fainted while being flogged by the principal after our whole class were flogged by some senior students for making noise, he was rushed to the hospital and he died at the hospital

Agbonlahor nor good