MrBrownJay1:


A) EVERYONE (not just women) desire emotion and commitment... Just because men can get married til their old age (and many don't mind fukcing around), it certainly does NOT mean we don't seek commitment/emotion in our r/ships.

B) are seriously saying that an immigrant CANNOT be a good man, and therefore women shouldn't marry them?!?! Are you serious bro?! What's wrong with marrying an immigrant?! The majority of men who seek papers don't go to these women and tell them:" I seek papers and don't care about you, let's get married" , these dudes woo these babe and do all the right things men should do, so don't blame these babes for acting RIGHT, blame these deluded con men for acting WRONG

C) What west exactly are you talking about by the way?! Ukraine, Russia where you can buy a wife for 250€ ?!
Yes there are many 3rd world countries outside of Africa where women view marriage as a do or die (like Nigerian women)
Yes there are some women in the US/Europe etc who are lazy and looking for rich men to marry so they can live their fantasy Kim K lifestyle
Does these same women seek marriage above anything else, HELL NO, they seek MONEY, to buy themselves the bling bling lifestyle. Big difference.
In the west, especially Europe, a broke single divorced mother will never suffer, she will be taken care of by the state, and if she even has a job, she wouldn't even care about getting married again... But most importantly, both these women wouldn't suddenly turn "bitter" after divorce, that's when they will live their BEST LIFE. Because on this side of the world, people don't judge single/divorced women, they are viewed just like any other

women are more openminded in the west than here

babyfaceafrica:
silence cannot be .misquoted... the Lady is unwise and naive...the man is matured

Are u trying to convince me that the man or the husband in question was just silent through out all these divorce process ...No side talk no provocation whatsoever on social media from him and his family ... and the lady just kept on ranting? .... I don't know their history but I believe that when a child is crying and pointing hands in a certain direction... if his mother is not there, his father might be there...

babyfaceafrica:
women are more openminded in the west than here

Oh Yes they are....

Richy4:


Are u trying to convince me that the man or the husband in question was just silent through out all these divorce process ...No side talk no provocation whatsoever on social media from him and his family ... and the lady just kept on ranting? .... I don't know their history but I believe that when a child is crying and pointing hands in a certain direction... if his mother is not there, his father might be there...

yes...it is social media... where blogs and online news outlet go daily for news. if Churchill has been making noise..we would have heard...tonto has issues.. big one

babyfaceafrica:
men will always prefer a fresh, never married, never given birth Lady to a divorcee/separated woman. ladies are case on their own.who needs a lady with a baggage?

Speak for yourself. It means nothing to some men, as we see a lot of divorced women in Nigeria still getting married again. I'm sure even on NL, there are many people with half/step siblings from their mother's side.
It is what it is.
It didn't start today, and won't end today.
In the old days, even kings (African) have been known to take the wives of their subjects despite having the option of different beautiful, young, never married virgin girls. Yet, they still go after the poor man's wife, and take her whether she likes it or not.

eyinjuege:


Speak for yourself. It means nothing to some men, as we see a lot of divorced women in Nigeria still getting married again. I'm sure even on NL, there are many people with step siblings from their mother's side.
It is what it is.
It didn't start today, and won't end today.
In the old days, even kings (African) have been known to take the wives of their subjects despite having the option of different beautiful, young, never married virgin girls. Yet, they still go after the poor man's wife, and take her whether she likes it or not.

hope u know your last example is adultery?......should that be encouraged?

ImaIma1:


Is that statistics one you created or based on research that has been done?

From where you stand, it may be 1% but from what I have seen and known, it is way higher.

He's actually right unless you don't reside in Nigeria or don't want to tell yourself the truth

babyfaceafrica:
hope u know your last example is adultery?......should that be encouraged?

Whether adultery or not, it still doesn't change history or the reality on ground. Even David stole Uriah's wife- Bathesheba.
So all that story about men always desiring tear rubber are just stories. People will want what they want.
Encouraging or discouraging adultery is left for individuals and how they chose to live their lives. They make their choice and live with the consequences.

eyinjuege:

Whether adultery or not, it still doesn't change history or the reality on ground. Even David stole Uriah's wife- Bathesheba.
So all that story about men always desiring tear rubber are just stories. People will want what they want.
Encouraging or discouraging adultery is left for individuals and how they chose to live their lives. They make their choice and live with the consequences.

OK

Jman06:
He's actually right unless you don't reside in Nigeria or don't want to tell yourself the truth

As I said, I have constantly seen ladies remarrying. Maybe you haven't. And that is fine

MrBrownJay1:


A) EVERYONE (not just women) desire emotion and commitment... Just because men can get married til their old age (and many don't mind fukcing around), it certainly does NOT mean we don't seek commitment/emotion in our r/ships.

B) are seriously saying that an immigrant CANNOT be a good man, and therefore women shouldn't marry them?!?! Are you serious bro?! What's wrong with marrying an immigrant?! The majority of men who seek papers don't go to these women and tell them:" I seek papers and don't care about you, let's get married" , these dudes woo these babe and do all the right things men should do, so don't blame these babes for acting RIGHT, blame these deluded con men for acting WRONG

C) What west exactly are you talking about by the way?! Ukraine, Russia where you can buy a wife for 250€ ?!
Yes there are many 3rd world countries outside of Africa where women view marriage as a do or die (like Nigerian women)
Yes there are some women in the US/Europe etc who are lazy and looking for rich men to marry so they can live their fantasy Kim K lifestyle
Does these same women seek marriage above anything else, HELL NO, they seek MONEY, to buy themselves the bling bling lifestyle. Big difference.
In the west, especially Europe, a broke single divorced mother will never suffer, she will be taken care of by the state, and if she even has a job, she wouldn't even care about getting married again... But most importantly, both these women wouldn't suddenly turn "bitter" after divorce, that's when they will live their BEST LIFE. Because on this side of the world, people don't judge single/divorced women, they are viewed just like any other

first of all you're not a man. I can smell a woman trying to speak like a man...lol
Now that being said....you spoke about immigrants ..do you not know most immigrants get married for the sake of papers etc... now this doesnt mean they have to leave the marriage as soon as they get it...but the women know the indigenous men are rapidly going mgtow so they lower their standards for the immigrant men. I'm not ready to argue with you on this. If you live in the U.S or Canada we shouldn't be at vfc using this. Men naturally do not crave commitment but have to do so for the sake of the women. The kids and society. When they grow old and weak yes they need a hmmm helper but as young men with cash hehehehm...the same cant be said about women.

erifeoluwasimi:
My title says it all but I still need your contribution. Looking at the recent celebrity story about a failed marriage I have decided to take a thought about failed marriages.
Before we go further I am a woman and have been Married for 7 years. I think I know little about marriage.
Firstly, speaking as an experienced person in marriage counseling (I head a big school where 30 Percent of my parents are either divorced or separated) each time I have issues with a child (moral or academic default) I invite the parent mostly mom. At the end of the day we find ourselves discussing the father. Blames upon blames on how irresponsible the father is or how the child is taking after the father. I end up asking the mom if she knows she couldn't raise the kids without the father why did she divorce him
Note: most times it's the woman that was at fault i.e.lack of patience
I have a friend too who is separated from the husband to the extent that she has refused to tell the man she put to bed till date. When she was about to put to bed she called that I follow her but I told her I couldn't because it wasn't my duty. Then she started ranting about how the man has been useless and all that. I later volunteer my sister. After the birth it was a normal birth I called my sister to come home. She said she wanted to bury the placenta that there was no one to do it. Then I asked her to return it and tell the lady to call her husband who lives just 50# can from the hospital. In summary she didn't take the placenta from the hospital. She asked a nurse to bury it and didn't bother to know if she did or not. Then I told her it was dangerous. She went back to her to her usual story of 'he is not a serious man'
Just to make peace reign I called the man to find out only to find out that my friend was a cheat, the man found out and she opted for divorce. He is not ready for it but my friend asked him to leave ( they lived in a rented apartment)
Same as been the story of most of my divorce parents, they cheated.
When the marriage failed they find it hard to forgive themselves and they resort to ranting.
Women who weren't cheating or weren't at fault are usually calm after the divorce because they know they did their best.
To avoid becoming a sadist.....be transparent in marriage
My opinion tho .....( Don't mind my typo and writing)
Cheers

If you head a school, you should be more conscious of your written English and typographical errors. Take time to edit your writeup instead of asking us not to mind it. If you can't, I wonder what you teach those kids.

Do you really head a school?
Your IQ seems so low tho and your wrirten English is story for another day.
Poor kids �

ireneidiva:

If you head a school, you should be more conscious of your written English and typographical errors. Take time to edit your writeup instead of asking us not to mind it. If you can't, I wonder what you teach those kids.

You are welcome

Just a another "generalization" thread devoid of real facts. Plus the Op doesn't take criticism well...only discussing with commenters that agree with her point of view. For others, it's a default timid and predictable response.

Clarion chukwurah the actress, remarried about 6 times, to men of great fortune, not small Bleep boys like some people are saying here. Learn to change your mentality. There is nothing bad about a single guy marrying a divorced lady, if he finds peace with her, and especially if she was not the cause for her marriage falling apart. I have seen divorced women who remarried. I guess because the OP is married, then she feels every woman with failed marriage is to be blamed. Also, when couple's fall apart in their marriage, they can tell lies, trade blames, etc. How is the OP sure that the lady cheated? If she cheated, what could have caused it? Was her husband an angel? In my own observations I feel that many nija women even tolerate all kinds of bullshit, so that they can stay married, especially, for the love of their kids. I don't believe women are to blame in this.

ogawisdom:


Give me examples of Nigerian female divorcees that have remarried esp the celebrities or any known name let's start from there.

Will u even allow your brother to marry a second hand? lol

Couldn't have said it better...

sisisioge:
Well done ma...all the divorces and separations you've encountered were caused by either cheating or impatient wives. May God bless all the saints of this world for they are men fa. Cheers.

Stella Damasus 2ce sef, Stephanie Okereke...

ogawisdom:


Give me examples of Nigerian female divorcees that have remarried esp the celebrities or any known name let's start from there.

Will u even allow your brother to marry a second hand? lol

LilMissFavvy:
Clarion chukwurah the actress, remarried about 6 times, to men of great fortune, not small Bleep boys like some people are saying here. Learn to change your mentality. There is nothing bad about a single guy marrying a divorced lady, if he finds peace with her, and especially if she was not the cause for her marriage falling apart. I have seen divorced women who remarried. I guess because the OP is married, then she feels every woman with failed marriage is to be blamed. Also, when couple's fall apart in their marriage, they can tell lies, trade blames, etc. How is the OP sure that the lady cheated? If she cheated, what could have caused it? Was her husband an angel? In my own observations I feel that many nija women even tolerate all kinds of bullshit, so that they can stay married, especially, for the love of their kids. I don't believe women are to blame in this.

Besides women are more prone to speaking up and expressing their feelings and that may come off as being bitter. While guys avoid confrontation and prefer to be silent or run from facing the situation. This may be seen as being mature or being the innocent party.

Being able to communicate feelings and issues properly is a major problem for many

True talk.

ImaIma1:


Besides women are more prone to speaking up and expressing their feelings and that may come off as being bitter. While guys avoid confrontation and prefer to be silent or run from facing the situation. This may be seen as being mature or being the innocent party.

Being able to communicate feelings and issues properly is a major problem for many

ImaIma1:


Is that statistics one you created or based on research that has been done?

From where you stand, it may be 1% but from what I have seen and known, it is way higher.

How is it that it's always you ladies that keep seeing divorced women getting remarried everyday?

Where is it happening?
In Nollywood, or in the streets with everyday women?

Give us an exact number of the women you know personally that have divorced and remarried, not celebrities but the average divorced Nigerian woman next door.

bukatyne:


I was going to comment however you seem unreasonable.

Anyways, in my experience, the guilty party is usually bitter for longer.

Personal experience, or from the stories of how many people?

eyinjuege:


Not true.
Quite a number of divorced women get back on the dating scene once they're ready. Some don't want to remarry again because they are happier being their own boss, and living on their own especially if they have their own money. They have guys they are dating on the side, have regular sex and who they can chat with. They also have the luxury of independence
The issue of remarrying comes in when they want more children. If they already have enough children, some think there's no point in remarrying.
[s]I know quite a few previously divorced women in another marriage now and they're doing just fine.
In fact, it seems the single mothers these days are giving the never married ones a run for their money.
Men will always chase a woman who has her acts together whether she's been previously married or not. You're a man, observe your fellow men closely from now.[/s]

The first part of your post is accurate and mirrors reality, the rest however seems to be someone typing idealistically and describing from her head how she would want it to be for divorced women.

The majority of Nigerian men don't chase divorced or single mothers for marriage, believe they do at your own risk and that of your divorced friends cos they will just keep dating fvck boys/men masquerading as serious suitors.

Yes, divorced or single mothers are very attractive especially when they doing okay for themselves. However, the attraction to them is usually not the "she's perfect for marriage" kind, it's the "she's divorced, experienced, in need of serious fvcks, and will not bring the emotional tantrums/immaturity that comes with dating never married ladies".

It's basically an easy avenue for men to get the sex with little or no excessively emotional & financial expectation from a woman - this is the attraction to divorcees and/or single mothers, not marriage.

I should not even be revealing this to you ladies cos na guys code, but I just came across this thread and been reading a lot of idealistic comments that are so far from reality.

Another thing to note, you people need to quit using female celebrities as your standard of measurement. All the female celebs put together dont make up to 1% of the total female population.
Because celebrities remarry does not mean the rest will have it that easy. Two different worlds completely.

ImaIma1:


As I said, I have constantly seen ladies remarrying. Maybe you haven't. And that is fine

You must know them personally, give us a number please.

crackhaus:

How is it that it's always you ladies that keep seeing divorced women getting remarried everyday?

Where is it happening?
In Nollywood, or in the streets with everyday women?

Give us an exact number of the women you know personally that have divorced and remarried, not celebrities but the average divorced Nigerian woman next door.

You are actually waiting for me to give you an exact figure. How will you verify it? So I just start counting and then, send you a report? . I am coming.

If you go through the thread, you will see where i mentioned popular celebs not to even mention others.

Oga rest. There are many remarried ladies. The fact that you refuse to acknowledge or see them is not really my problem. But it doesn't change the glaring evidence. Maybe you should start snooping. That neighbour of yours may be married to her 2nd husband.

crackhaus:

You must know them personally, give us a number please.

Go out on the street, ask around and count for yourself

ImaIma1:


Go out on the street, ask around and count for yourself

Why should I do that when you are already here making claims?

ImaIma1:


You are actually waiting for me to give you an exact figure. How will you verify it? So I just start counting and then, send you a report? . I am coming.

If you go through the thread, you will see where i mentioned popular celebs not to even mention others.

Oga rest. There are many remarried ladies. The fact that you refuse to acknowledge or see them is not really my problem. But it doesn't change the glaring evidence. Maybe you should start snooping. That neighbour of yours may be married to her 2nd husband.

Number, you can't provide and you're mentioning popular celebs and using that as your proof that many (as in, many) divorced ladies are remarried.
Something that is not yet on the high side in developed societies, it's in Nigeria you are confidently typing MANY.

Do you know what an outlier is?
That you even know one or two personally is not an accurate representation of many.

Was it via snooping you found out that there are MANY divorced women who are remarried, or you know them because they are friends and family, or its only the celebrities you are actually using to make your claim?

Don't bother answering anymore, you've shown you are just kidding yourself.

crackhaus:

Number, you can't provide and you're mentioning popular celebs and using that as your proof that many (as in, many) divorced ladies are remarried.
Something that is not yet on the high side in developed societies, it's in Nigeria you are confidently typing MANY.

Do you know what an outlier is?
That you even know one or two personally is not an accurate representation of many.

Was it via snooping you found out that there are MANY divorced women who are remarried, or you know them because they are friends and family, or its only the celebrities you are actually using to make your claim?

Don't bother answering anymore, you've shown you are just kidding yourself.

All your rants doesn't change the fact that single ladies remarry. If you don't know that it is happening, then you should research and find out for yourself since you are very interested in the statistics instead of asking me for a number.

I will bother to answer if i feel like it

crackhaus:

The first part of your post is accurate and mirrors reality, the rest however seems to be someone typing idealistically and describing from her head how she would want it to be for divorced women.

The majority of Nigerian men don't chase divorced or single mothers for marriage, believe they do at your own risk and that of your divorced friends cos they will just keep dating fvck boys/men masquerading as serious suitors.

Yes, divorced or single mothers are very attractive especially when they doing okay for themselves. However, the attraction to them is usually not the "she's perfect for marriage" kind, it's the "she's divorced, experienced, in need of serious fvcks, and will not bring the emotional tantrums/immaturity that comes with dating never married ladies".

It's basically an easy avenue for men to get the sex with little or no excessively emotional & financial expectation from a woman - this is the attraction to divorcees and/or single mothers, not marriage.

I should not even be revealing this to you ladies cos na guys code, but I just came across this thread and been reading a lot of idealistic comments that are so far from reality.

Another thing to note, you people need to quit using female celebrities as your standard of measurement. All the female celebs put together dont make up to 1% of the total female population.
Because celebrities remarry does not mean the rest will have it that easy. Two different worlds completely.

Again, speak for yourself.
I'm sure if a census is taken on NL, many people on here will attest to the fact that they have half siblings from their mothers. I have seen enough divorcees getting remarried to know it's TRUE.
If single mothers are so low on the food chain, why did the fathers of these folks marry their mothers? Why are there so many stepdads about too?

Meanwhile, your guy code thing isn't such a secret. The sensible divorced ladies know when to give it up. They also do no strings attached sex as per body no be firewood levels. It doesn't mean they dont know what to do when they see a man worth marrying.

NB:-
Men from their mid 30s who have seen a bit of life would be the ones who can be more objective about the issue on ground. A lot of young men still in their 20s who feel life is just starting, and they're just beginning to enjoy life may not be the best to ask this as they are still cloaked with their self belief of invincibility.

The know-it-all judges we have in Nigeria.
Trying to use one cap to fit all.

Nigerian women have indeed suffered.

Every slowpoke will masturbate on her head for relevance.
Mtcheeew

eyinjuege:


Again, speak for yourself.
I'm sure if a census is taken on NL, many people on here will attest to the fact that they have half siblings from their mothers. I have seen enough divorcees getting remarried to know it's TRUE.
If single mothers are so low on the food chain, why did the fathers of these folks marry their mothers? Why are there so many stepdads about too?

Meanwhile, your guy code thing isn't such a secret. The sensible divorced ladies know when to give it up. They also do no strings attached sex as per body no be firewood levels. It doesn't mean they dont know what to do when they see a man worth marrying.

NB:-
Men from their mid 30s who have seen a bit of life would be the ones who can be more objective about the issue on ground. A lot of young men still in their 20s who feel life is just starting, and they're just beginning to enjoy life may not be the best to ask this as they are still cloaked with their self belief of invincibility.

Lol @MANY people here have half siblings from their mothers, such confidence.
I think you meant to say 'from their fathers', but whatever makes you sleep better at night mehn...