SageMK:
The dating account isn't active. That's a good sign.

And the fact that she's compelled to go online in a potential search for a man — it's also a good sign as it implies there's no one available close by to hit the run.

But the question is —

What will push a married woman to create an account on a dating site? — It's obvious this was premeditated.

This proves she thought of cheating at one point.
Her bank statement might buttress this claim also.
But it doesn't answer the question if she cheated.

It's understandable that she password her phone.
Everyone is entitled to enjoy privacy — married or not.

But for your peace of mind, have her unlock it.

Go through her mails, messages, web history, call log, app download history, notes, gallery, audio recording etc.

There are apps you can download to help recover deleted pictures. Try using that also it may help too.

But before you start investigating, sit her down and talk.
She's the mother of your children. Listen to her abeg.
That bond of husband and wife should see you through.
You can tell from her eyes and body language if she's hiding something. Ask her questions calmly in low tone.

If you still doubt her, for your peace of mind, go ahead.

crackhaus:
Wife registered on a dating site and claims it's normal for ladies to do funny things.
Wife passwords her phone and claims it's because of the kids.
Wife then puts the blame on you, which consequently means she has admitted something is definitely going on.

Chief I don't know the kind of advise you need o.
If you can't instruct your wife to de-register herself from that dating site or any other dating site IMMEDIATELY, you're OYO.
If you can't instruct her to create a password that only you and her will know, since it's the kids she's protecting the phone against, another OYO for you.

Take charge before she slips further.

ifyalways:
Im trying to undertand why you called your FIL that same night? To talk to his daughter who is under same roof with you?

Tbh, i hate weak men who cannot find a way to resolve their spouse and marital problems without involving the whole world. Only in serious emergencies do you ring me by 11pm , dont disturb me for petty issues because you cannot control your impulse, think rationally as a man or react to everything you see.

You should have taken a cold beer and gone to bed. Have a long talk with your wife the next morning . . .like adults. 7 years of.marriage i should expect you to do better. Dont act on impulse, have expectations but keep your shock absorbers on 100% always.

DonEd:
While I want to agree with what the man above me posted, I still wanna ask the poster if he is guilty of anything that could push the wife to such disastrous thoughts and acts.

It's sad to realise we cant find women as loyal and faithful as our moms. I can understand the pain the brother is going through now, the feeling of betrayal. But this is where u put ur feet on the ground and act as a man.

Fix this. You own this fight. But allow patience be ur guide.

ifyalways:
Im trying to undertand why you called your FIL that same night? To talk to his daughter who is under same roof with you?

Tbh, i hate weak men who cannot find a way to resolve their spouse and marital problems without involving the whole world. Only in serious emergencies do you ring me by 11pm , dont disturb me for petty issues because you cannot control your impulse, think rationally as a man or react to everything you see.

You should have taken a cold beer and gone to bed. Have a long talk with your wife the next morning . . .like adults. 7 years of.marriage i should expect you to do better. Dont act on impulse, have expectations but keep your shock absorbers on 100% always.

ifyalways:
Im trying to undertand why you called your FIL that same night? To talk to his daughter who is under same roof with you?

Tbh, i hate weak men who cannot find a way to resolve their spouse and marital problems without involving the whole world. Only in serious emergencies do you ring me by 11pm , dont disturb me for petty issues because you cannot control your impulse, think rationally as a man or react to everything you see.

You should have taken a cold beer and gone to bed. Have a long talk with your wife the next morning . . .like adults. 7 years of.marriage i should expect you to do better. Dont act on impulse, have expectations but keep your shock absorbers on 100% always.

blank:


I think she was the one who called her dad to speak to her husband on her behalf.

djlinda77:
Madam, read it again...this time slowly.

I didn't make the call, she did...she knows he's someone I respected a lot, also a pastor. She called and handled the phone to me. She wanted the issue to be resolved that night.

ifyalways:

My bad. Im sorry.
Thank you for staying calm,hope you'd be able to sort it out amicably. Marriage, peaceful marriage is a beautiful thing.
All the best

Houseofglam7:
I unfortunately have no advice on this matter.....
You're married....good for ya.
I'm single as a dollar bill....and I'm not in the place to advise you

djlinda77:
· Been married for 7years
· With 2 beautiful kids.
· Password on her phone for over two years
· I didn’t really bother, the level of trust was high
· Her reason for the password was because of the kids.
· At some point I started having doubts about her 100%. loyalty
· Some months ago while having conversation she jokingly. said we rushed into getting married.
· Yesterday, I discovered she registered on a dating site as single, no children, not her picture
· Interested in men between 33 to 38
. She described herself as “ I don’t pretend and I love people who don’t”
· Although the account is yet to be activated. No chat, no message
· Account was registered in Jan, 2019
· I confronted her, she said ladies at time do some funny things and this is one of them.
· She also put the blame on me, that am not always around.
· I work my asss off for her and the children.
· She was not remorseful at first as she claimed it wasn’t a big deal
· I left the room, slept in the sitting room,
· Called her dad around 11pm, wanted to speak to me
· Told him I can’t speak in the state of mind I was at that moment.
· Came to the sitting room early this morning, begging for forgiveness.
· I am not seeing her as my wife anymore.
· I believe there are so much more to be discovered
· There could be another dating site that she’s active on.
· I am confused
· I requested for her account statement for 2018 still date.
· What to review if another man has been sending her money.
· Please I need advice from matured minds.
 
Thanks

Oyindidi:
Your wife needs your attention and you brought the issue to NL. Men are the reason most women cheat

Oyindidi:
Your wife needs your attention and you brought the issue to NL. Men are the reason most women cheat

crackhaus:

If women require men's attention before their brains can function properly, then it's fair to say that men are also the reason most women breath.

Oyindidi:
Crackhaus, read his post again. Women go through a lot sometimes we need our husbands to get more closer to us.

crackhaus:

If women require men's attention before their brains can function properly, then it's fair to say that men are also the reason most women breath.

djon78:


I am a man and true women need attention from there man.

And op said he has been working his ass off, but he may have started neglecting giving his wife attention. A very bag guy that comes around that knows what women ears want to hear can hijack the situation.

The dude need to balance his game. Improve on his connection with his woman. Woman are very different from we men. Most men don't understand that.

Oyindidi:
Your wife needs your attention and you brought the issue to NL. Men are the reason most women cheat