eyinjuege:


Does it make sense not to help in the restaurant feeding him and his family? Why is it seen as shameful for a man to wash plates? Or serve in his wife's restaurant?
Yahoo Yahoo only thrives with such mentality. There is dignity in labour and only a lazy person will say washing plates is beneath him when the same business feeds his ass, fuels his car, pays his rent and children's school fees. Such a venture should be protected.
There's serious money in food business as people must eat. You hardly ever make losses from such ventures. This is a business idea for those looking for what to do, and who can cook. Start small, and you can at least pay your bills and feed from it.

The fact that this had to be said. On a forum where people claim to have common sense. Sigh.
I don’t even bother anymore.

Mindfulness:


On a rational level, he understand you are right.
On an emotional level, I smell psychopathic tendencies.

Maybe that's what it is.

If I'm that woman, let me put it pomp and plain...

I WILL deal with that man. Next time, he better learn not to disrespect my body when I didn't disrespect his.

Nonsense.
..

MizMyColi:


Thoroughly co-signed.

Even if it's my child, if I beat her out of frustration, why should I justify it?

Would it kill me to accept that I was wrong? That no matter what she has done...it does not justify beating her?

How much more a grown woman?

What temerity?

How can you use negativity to deal with negativity and still be looking for a nod from the universe that you are somehow right for what you did?

Like I said, their beliefs stand in their way to objective reasoning.
It is well.
Everything changes eventually and there is no regression, only progress.

MizMyColi:


Maybe that's what it is.

If I'm that woman, let me put it pomp and plain...

I WILL deal with that man. Next time, he better learn not to disrespect my body when I didn't disrespect his.

Nonsense.
..

I applaud your clarity, strength and determination. This is how it should be. Self-respect first.

Mindfulness:


Like I said, their beliefs stand in their way to objective reasoning.
It is well.
Everything changes eventually and there is no regression, only progress.

A large Resounding Amen to the Progress Part.
Amen. We need it in this country.

MizMyColi:


Again...we do not know that she was impolite or rude.

And if you think it's okay to excuse the man for slapping his woman because she told him to help out whether rudely or not...

Mehn, we should prolly end it here...

Gosh, there are things I don't want to imagine happening to me.

I did not insult you. I did not hold your shirt to your throat. In my state of feeling pressured because I'm working so hard to feed myself, feed YOU and our children, I call out to you to help me with dishes...and your response to me is a slap...for WHAT?

Again I ask, if you can't help my situation at that time, if you can't join me in sacrificing for our family...

Why not walk out?
Why slap me?

Did I insult you or pose any physical threat to you?
Is asking for your help an insult that should warrant your slapping me?

Ndi mmadu sef.

You're prevaricating.
I am not trying to justify the slap.

I only put it to YOU that if YOU can justify a wife being rude to her husband because of stress, then YOU should also be able to justify the husband slapping her because he's also experiencing stress.
Everyone reacts to stress.

I put YOU in capitals this time, in case you missed them other times.

crackhaus:

The slap was crude, I don't think anyone supports that.
We are trying to understand the circumstances that led to it.

Could there have been a better way for her to ask/demand his assistance out of earshot of everyone else?

When you're faced in a high pressure situation, with a lot of hungry, probably loud customers waiting for their food and you're alone in the restaurant dishing out food and collecting money at the same time(perhaps it was even lunch break hour, usually busy) you'll be glad to see any life saver like a husband, sister/brother or friend and you'll probably shout over the noise - "PLS, HELP ME BE WASHING THOSE PLATES OVER THERE". (Unfortunately in her case, her husband was not a lifesaver but a stressor).
You probably dont have time to go and meet the person, take him/ her to one side and be explaining why it would be nice for them to help you (remember your customers are waiting and queuing up, your money box is probably still out there over the counter exposed.
I definitely expect someone who feeds from the proceeds should know better. That's just me sha. I cant see my friend struggling in her food place and won't automatically render help without being asked, how much more a spouse.

Mindfulness:


Have you ever been diagnosed? I mean psychologically?

You remember when I used to tell you to get treatment for your wide-spectrum psychological disorders?

Those were the days mehn...I honestly thought you were nuts

eyinjuege:


When you're faced in a high pressure situation, with a lot of hungry, probably loud customers waiting for their food and you're alone in the restaurant dishing out food and collecting money at the same time(perhaps it was even lunch break hour, usually busy) you'll be glad to see any life saver like a husband, sister/brother or friend and you'll probably shout over the noise - "PLS, HELP ME BE WASHING THOSE PLATES OVER THERE". (Unfortunately in her case, her husband was not a lifesaver but a stressor).
You probably dont have time to go and meet the person, take him/ her to one side and be explaining why it would be nice for them to help you (remember your customers are waiting and queuing up, your money box is probably still out there over the counter exposed.
I definitely expect someone who feeds from the proceeds should know better. That's just me sha. I cant see my friend struggling in her food place and won't automatically render help without being asked, how much more a spouse.

Hmmm, okay.

Mindfulness:


I applaud your clarity, strength and determination. This is how it should be. Self-respect first.

Yes. Even if you give me the world, you don't dare disrespect my body or disfigure it in any way. Only childbirth is permitted to do that to me.

My parents did not give my hand in marriage to you for you to turn me to slapping or punching bag.

If I hit you, it would be different.. If I gave you hot insults that really pushed you.....that one is different.. In fact, if I insult you..Insult me back. But don't hit me. I did not hit you. And if you feel my mouth is too much for you, walk out.

crackhaus:

You remember when I used to tell you to get treatment for your wide-spectrum psychological disorders?

Those were the days mehn...I honestly thought you were nuts

These days I think you are a psychopath. How times change ...

MizMyColi:


Yes. Even if you give me the world, you don't dare disrespect my body or disfigure it in any way. Only childbirth is permitted to do that to me.

My parents did not give my hand in marriage to you for you to turn me to slapping or punching bag.

If I hit you, it would be different.. If I gave you hot insults that really pushed you.....that one is different.. In fact, if I insult you..Insult me back. But don't hit me. I did not hit you. And if you feel my mouth is too much for you, walk out.

Problem is that some daughters will even be told to go back and apologize. Imagine that!

crackhaus:

You're prevaricating.
I am not trying to justify the slap.

I only put it to YOU that if YOU can justify a wife being rude to her husband because of stress, then YOU should also be able to justify the husband slapping her because he's also experiencing stress.
Everyone reacts to stress.

I put YOU in capitals this time, in case you missed them other times.

If I did not disrespect your body, why should you disrespect mine.

If I disrespected your ego and you have the need to go on a vengeful spree, disrespect my ego too.

Don't touch my body when I have not permitted you to do so. Don't disfigure it either.

Doing otherwise means you're a psychopath.

Mindfulness:


Problem is that some daughters will even be told to go back and apologize. Imagine that!

They should well done.
Tomorrow, they will fill the news about how one wife stabbed their husband.

MizMyColi:


They should well done.
Tomorrow, they will fill the news about how one wife stabbed their husband.

You know dysfunctional families are healthier than divorced parents who co-parent without all the drama.

crackhaus:

I'm happy for both of you, honestly..

I never thought Mindfulness capable of making any real friends on NL. She's always fighting everyone, male and female.

Does she really?
I think she's too hot and mentally sound for you guys to handle.

Well, whether she fights or not, I just love her like that biko.

Mindfulness:


You know dysfunctional families are healthier than divorced parents who co-parent without all the drama.

Only in Africa, and some parts of Asia, I suppose

MizMyColi:


If I did not disrespect your body, why should you disrespect mine.

If I disrespected your ego and you have the need to go on a vengeful spree, disrespect my ego too.

Don't touch my body when I have not permitted you to do so. Don't disfigure it either.

Doing otherwise means you're a psychopath.

But isn't this kind of thinking that gets some of you women beat up by men with little self-control?

Like you seriously do something to hurt a man's ego, then go ahead to dictate how he should react to you... You're too funny.
Your Majesty..


By the way, the ONLY way a woman can disrespect a man is using her tongue to break his ego. Ain't nothing else y'all can do besides that.
It's not like there's a choice between hurting his body or hurting his ego. Don't make me laugh abeg.

MizMyColi:


Only in Africa, and some parts of Asia, I suppose

You see the result of this way of thinking.

Hun, I need to get some more pages finished. I hope I will see you around soon?

Mindfulness:


You see the result of this way of thinking.

Hun, I need to get some more pages finished. I hope I will see you around soon?

Yassss. :-"

I'm always around. Just not always writing.

Hope the project goes smoothly

And hope I'll see you around more.

eyinjuege:


When you're faced in a high pressure situation, with a lot of hungry, probably loud customers waiting for their food and you're alone in the restaurant dishing out food and collecting money at the same time(perhaps it was even lunch break hour, usually busy) you'll be glad to see any life saver like a husband, sister/brother or friend and you'll probably shout over the noise - "PLS, HELP ME BE WASHING THOSE PLATES OVER THERE". (Unfortunately in her case, her husband was not a lifesaver but a stressor).
You probably dont have time to go and meet the person, take him/ her to one side and be explaining why it would be nice for them to help you (remember your customers are waiting and queuing up, your money box is probably still out there over the counter exposed.
I definitely expect someone who feeds from the proceeds should know better. That's just me sha. I cant see my friend struggling in her food place and won't automatically render help without being asked, how much more a spouse.

Very nice description of it means to be in this business.
She is running and sweating but as soon oga enters she must tiptoe. Nonsense!

Mindfulness:


These days I think you are a psychopath. How times change ...

Coming from a veteran psychopath, it's hard to take it serious.
You probably think the voices you hear in your head are full of wisdom.

eyinjuege:


When you're faced in a high pressure situation, with a lot of hungry, probably loud customers waiting for their food and you're alone in the restaurant dishing out food and collecting money at the same time(perhaps it was even lunch break hour, usually busy) you'll be glad to see any life saver like a husband, sister/brother or friend and you'll probably shout over the noise - "PLS, HELP ME BE WASHING THOSE PLATES OVER THERE". (Unfortunately in her case, her husband was not a lifesaver but a stressor).
You probably dont have time to go and meet the person, take him/ her to one side and be explaining why it would be nice for them to help you (remember your customers are waiting and queuing up, your money box is probably still out there over the counter exposed.
I definitely expect someone who feeds from the proceeds should know better. That's just me sha. I cant see my friend struggling in her food place and won't automatically render help without being asked, how much more a spouse.

Did Crackhaus read this and still justify the slap
I've said enough.
Let me sleep

MizMyColi:


Yassss. :-"

I'm always around. Just not always writing.

Hope the project goes smoothly

And hope I'll see you around more.

I have nothing to lose. From now on everything is an extra.
Take good care of yourself. Make your well-being top priority always
It's so easy to remember all the wisdom that should guide me when talking to you, as usual.

I might sneak in later. Until then ... take perfect care of yourself.

Mindfulness:


I have nothing to lose. From now on everything is an extra.
Take good care of yourself. Make your well-being top priority always
It's so easy to remember all the wisdom that should guide me when talking to you, as usual.

I might sneak in later. Until then ... take perfect care of yourself.

And you too, Angel



Go happier, go higher.
It only gets better from here on.

MizMyColi:


Does she really?
I think she's too hot and mentally sound for you guys to handle.

Well, whether she fights or not, I just love her like that biko.

I know you're kidding...

Mindfulness:


Very nice description of it means to be in this business.
She is running and sweating but as soon oga enters she must tiptoe. Nonsense!

In fact, I tire.
Most problems in marriage happen because spouses dont put themselves in the other's shoes.
If we all applied the golden rule of "Do unto others as you want done to you", many will be in happier marriages, and the difficulties of life won't appear so overwhelming.

crackhaus:

I know you're kidding...

Absolutely not.

MizMyColi:


Did Crackhaus read this and still justify the slap
I've said enough.
Let me sleep

You are the one justifying things here using stress as an excuse.
My very first submission on this topic already condemned the slap, don't take us back.

MizMyColi:


Absolutely not.

For her own sake, you better be kidding.

Someone that is too hot and mentally sound for ALL the males on Nairaland to handle.
Get where I'm going yet?

crackhaus:

For her own sake, you better be kidding.

Someone that is too hot and mentally sound for ALL the males on Nairaland to handle.
Get where I'm going yet?

All the males she's bantered with, yes

eyinjuege:

In fact, I tire.
Most problems in marriage happen because spouses dont put themselves in the other's shoes.
If we all applied the golden rule of "Do unto others as you want done to you", many will be in happier marriages, and the difficulties of life won't appear so overwhelming.

Nigerian marriages right from time doesn't run by that principle.

If a woman can't make sense of a Nigerian marriage, she should steer clear of a Nigerian man.

And may I stare that some wives are so dysfunctional that the only man they can respect is a Nigerian man.

I have seen examples of wives who sit up after serious handling by their husbands.

Demand and Supply.