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My Husband And His Mother!!! - Family - Nairaland

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My Husband And His Mother!!! by Biggermembersro(f): 8:35pm On Jun 07, 2019
Some people's sole aim in this world is to provoke people intentionally, I am a "slow to react to anger" kind of person and I always stay in my lane and mind my business, once I smell trouble coming from afar, I run to the opposite direction as fast as my leg can carry me, I come from a tribe where you have to respect elders no matter the situation same as what my Bible says so what gives abeg.......


My husband always praise his mum cos she trained him to med school here in U.S.A, of course who wouldn't just like I don't joke with my dad cos he did well for his six kids, so he adores his mum, praises her in every situation, always at her beck and call, I didn't see it as a big deal cos, well, it's his mum, we met here in NY, he and his family stay in Maryland while I was schooling in NY, the plan was when we get married I'll go back and forth till I finish school then move to Maryland, so I took in, you know first pregnancy how difficult it is, so one of those days i went to ML for the weekend one time, during that period, his mum had a get together so everyone is expected to be there, being in my first trimester, I was sick and told her I can't be there, she insisted and I told her I'll try, when the time came I was too ill to go anywhere so I didn't go, all for his mum to come later that night and was shouting saying and I quote "when I tell my son your husband to run he will run, even if I tell him to jump he will do just that so who are you to tell me you can't come, what silly sickness, if I blow that your belly, highest is you'll loose the pregnancy and then take in again,nothing is going to happen" that is exactly what she said, I was shocked, my husband was there looking he didn't say anything, his father was there, he shouted at her that why would she say something like that, his mum shut him down saying all manner of unsayable things because she was more like the breadwinner, his sister, that one cannot talk if not the mother will insult her very existence just because she got pregnant out of wedlock but she still married the father ooo, me, my mouth was open, I couldn't talk cos I dont even know what to say, when they left hubby didnt even try to ease my mind or anything, the next day I jejely left for NY, vowing that my leg will never step into ML anymore.

Sincerely I was tempted to abort and divorce my husband because I don't understand how someone can say evil like that, even if it was a joke, that was nonsense, since then I've been in NY, I gave birth here, Dre has been the one coming here, it's not like me and his mum don't talk, she calls and we talk, sometimes I call too, all for recently, infact last week Dre says he got an opening for a job here and he wants to take it, I blatantly told him NO, because his parents couldnt work anymore due to health and all so they are staying with him in ML, him moving here means his mum will do that too, I told him no that I like things the way they are, no issues, nothing, I cannot stay in the same house with his mum because we will have issues that one is certain, he started shouting, I reminded him of what his mother said two years ago, he now said it is the past, which past? Now that I'm working I am expected to leave my babies with her, call me delusional the instinct of a mother is to protect her children, even if she may not do anything, we will still have issues and I don't want that before someone say I'm disrespectful when I talk back.

If I decide to turn American now, I'll just tell him he can't bring anyone here without my permission, but no, I won't tell him that, some of their laws here is stupid to be honest and I'm a nice person and I was born and bred in the north in Nigeria also I don't want to escalate issue, I am the only one here, my family is in Nigeria and i never mentioned any of this to them so it won't turn to family issues, now he's not talking to me saying he will take drastic measures, it will not pass divorce and custody battle of which I know I will win but I don't want that for my kids, they need their parents in the same home not divorced, my own is he should stay where he is and take care of his parents and continue worshiping his mum, is it that hard?

I dey vex abeg, pls advice on other options fam.

237 Likes 16 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by budaatum: 8:37pm On Jun 07, 2019
2 likes for the quality of writing, 3 likes for the sense

One night some girl and some guy were going to a party but had an accident and couldn't go anymore so they went to her house and she called the guy's mama.

"Mama", she said. "We had an accident"
"Hehn!" Said mama. "Is anybody hurt?"
"No mama".
"Olorun seun" said mama. "Come now and finish my hair my dear", and mama put the phone down.
The girl turned to the guy, " Mama said I should come do her hair".
Guy looked at clock and yelled, "Hell no"! And they went to bed.

The next morning, they got up early and went to the guy's house where mama stays, and as soon as they entered, mama ripped! "What time is this? Why didn't you come last night? Is that how you disrespect your mother?! And you want to marry my son!?"

On hearing his mama, the guy said, "Mama mi, it was two o'clock in the morning! It would have taken us 2 hours to get here!" But mama was having none of it and ripped some more till eventually, the guy ripped too!

"Would you ask my sister your own daughter to travel at that time?" And mama's response brought thunder.
"This is my house!" He said to his mama. If you cannot be civil to my friend and live in my house by my rules, then get out!"

Mama think say na joke. Every morning the guy would wake up and say, "Good morning mama mi. Are you still here? I want you to leave my house please!" And three weeks later, mama moved out, and the girl and guy got married a year later with mama's blessings.

A year to the day after they were married, the wife and husband were returning from the home office where the wife had just been given Indefinite Leave to Remain when she said, "It's been a while since I have been home to see my mother, I'd like to go and see her". So they arranged for her to go and she was gone for a month. And when she returned, she said she wanted a divorce, "your mama, your mama, your mama!" And they divorced.

She went on to have two beautiful daughters who are now married themselves, while mama is still praying that her 60 year old only son find a suitable woman to give her grandchildren.


I think you have the patience and wisdom to deal with this. You calmly presented your case and I believe you remain calm when dealing with mama hence the 3 likes. I think you should have moved on when he refused to defend you. You should have told him off big time when he didn't and got him to commit to defending you from attack. What if it were an outsider, would he have said nothing then too?! Talk to him about it now.

The two star is for not living with her and for keeping her in a different state. That's bold! She has not changed. You saw it when she spoke to her husband who must have put up with her as long as her oldest child has lived. Don't go there! If she and her son move to your state, its probably time to move states unless you get that commitment from him to defend you from her in writing! And it likely would be worth less than the ink its written in! A commitment from her would be worth more, but I think that's wishing on a star territory.

I'll be rooting for you. Remain strong.

Biggermembersro:

....all for his mum to come later that night and was shouting saying and I quote "when I tell my son your husband to run he will run, even if I tell him to jump he will do just that so who are you to tell me you can't come, what silly sickness, if I blow that your belly, highest is you'll loose the pregnancy and then take in again,nothing is going to happen"
I dey vex abeg, pls advice on other options fam.

2 like! Plus 3 like now that I've read it.

Someone asked what happened after "your mama, your mama, your mama!" so I have gone back to him and gotten a bit more of the story and added it here.

217 Likes 15 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by kenzosky: 8:41pm On Jun 07, 2019
K
Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by JoannaSedley(f): 8:42pm On Jun 07, 2019
Biggermembersro:
Some people's sole aim in this world is to provoke people intentionally, I am a "slow to react to anger" kind of person and I always stay in my lane and mind my business, once I smell trouble coming from afar, I run to the opposite direction as fast as my leg can carry me, I come from a tribe where you have to respect elders no matter the situation same as what my Bible says so what gives abeg.......


My husband always praise his mum cos she trained him to med school here in U.S.A, of course who wouldn't just like I don't joke with my dad cos he did well for his six kids, so he adores his mum, praises her in every situation, always at her beck and call, I didn't see it as a big deal cos, well, it's his mum, we met here in NY, he and his family stay in Maryland while I was schooling in NY, the plan was when we get married I'll go back and forth till I finish school then move to Maryland, so I took in, you know first pregnancy how difficult it is, so one of those days i went to ML for the weekend one time, during that period, his mum had a get together so everyone is expected to be there, being in my first trimester, I was sick and told her I can't be there, she insisted and I told her I'll try, when the time came I was too ill to go anywhere so I didn't go, all for his mum to come later that night and was shouting saying and I quote "[b]when I tell my son your husband to run he will run, even if I tell him to jump he will do just that so who are you to tell me you can't come, what silly sickness, if I blow that your belly, highest is you'll loose the pregnancy and then take in again,nothing is going to happen" [/b]that is exactly what she said, I was shocked, my husband was there looking he didn't say anything, his father was there, he shouted at her that why would she say something like that, his mum shut him down saying all manner of unsayable things because she is more like the breadwinner, his sister, that one cannot talk if not the mother will insult her very existence just because she got pregnant out of wedlock but she still married the father ooo, me, my mouth was open, I couldn't talk cos I dont even know what to say, when they left hubby didnt even try to ease my mind or anything, the next day I jejely left for NY, vowing that my leg will never step into ML anymore.

Sincerely I was tempted to abort and divorce my husband because I don't understand how someone can say evil like that, even if it was a joke, that was nonsense, since then I've been in NY, I gave birth here, Dre has been the one coming here, it's not like me and his mum don't talk, she calls and we talk, sometimes I call too, all for recently, infact last week Dre says he got an opening for a job here and he wants to take it, I blatantly to him NO, because his parents couldnt work so they are staying with him in ML, him moving here means his mum will do that too, I told him no that I like things the way they are, no issues, nothing, I cannot stay in the same house with his mum because we will have issues that one is certain, he started shouting, I reminded him of what his mother said two years ago, he now said it is the past, which past? Now that I'm working I am expected to leave my babies with her, call me delusional the instinct of a mother is to protect her children, even if she may not do anything, we will still have issues and I don't want that before someone say I'm disrespectful when I talk back.

If I decide to turn American now, I'll just tell him he can't bring anyone here without my permission, but no, I won't tell him that, some of their laws here is stupid to be honest and I'm a nice person and I was born and bred in the north in Nigeria also I don't want to escalate issue, I am the only one here, my family is in Nigeria and i never mentioned any of this to them so it won't turn to family issues, now he's not talking to me saying he will take drastic measures, it will not pass divorce and custody battle of which I know I will win but I don't want that for my kids, they need their parents in the same home not divorced, my own is he should stay where he is and take care of his parents and continue worshiping his mum, is it that hard?

I dey vex abeg, pls advice on other options fam.
So funny. Dre should let sleeping dog lie

1 Like

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by SageMK: 8:44pm On Jun 07, 2019
if I blow that your belly, highest is you'll loose the pregnancy and then take in again,nothing is going to happen

It doesn't matter if it's in the past or present. You are absolutely right to be wary of such of human being that can casually say such a horrible thing with authority. shocked

What's worse is you can't even count on your husband to protect you or caution his mom. Just stay on your lane.

Don't stay under the same roof with your MIL.

134 Likes 8 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by Ranchhoddas: 8:45pm On Jun 07, 2019
Brace yourself. It will end in divorce. You are already mentally prepared.
Check the stats.

84 Likes 6 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by lilmax(m): 8:47pm On Jun 07, 2019
because she is more like the breadwinner



If I decide to turn American now, I'll just tell him he can't bring anyone here without my permission


women with money


dinner is served guys, have fun arguing

38 Likes

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by soberdrunk(m): 8:54pm On Jun 07, 2019
You cannot marry a "Mamas boy" and not fall in love with his 'mama'...... angry

81 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by properties4sale: 8:54pm On Jun 07, 2019
Biggermembersro:
Some people's sole aim in this world is to provoke people intentionally, I am a "slow to react to anger" kind of person and I always stay in my lane and mind my business, once I smell trouble coming from afar, I run to the opposite direction as fast as my leg can carry me, I come from a tribe where you have to respect elders no matter the situation same as what my Bible says so what gives abeg.......


My husband always praise his mum cos she trained him to med school here in U.S.A, of course who wouldn't just like I don't joke with my dad cos he did well for his six kids, so he adores his mum, praises her in every situation, always at her beck and call, I didn't see it as a big deal cos, well, it's his mum, we met here in NY, he and his family stay in Maryland while I was schooling in NY, the plan was when we get married I'll go back and forth till I finish school then move to Maryland, so I took in, you know first pregnancy how difficult it is, so one of those days i went to ML for the weekend one time, during that period, his mum had a get together so everyone is expected to be there, being in my first trimester, I was sick and told her I can't be there, she insisted and I told her I'll try, when the time came I was too ill to go anywhere so I didn't go, all for his mum to come later that night and was shouting saying and I quote "when I tell my son your husband to run he will run, even if I tell him to jump he will do just that so who are you to tell me you can't come, what silly sickness, if I blow that your belly, highest is you'll loose the pregnancy and then take in again,nothing is going to happen" that is exactly what she said, I was shocked, my husband was there looking he didn't say anything, his father was there, he shouted at her that why would she say something like that, his mum shut him down saying all manner of unsayable things because she is more like the breadwinner, his sister, that one cannot talk if not the mother will insult her very existence just because she got pregnant out of wedlock but she still married the father ooo, me, my mouth was open, I couldn't talk cos I dont even know what to say, when they left hubby didnt even try to ease my mind or anything, the next day I jejely left for NY, vowing that my leg will never step into ML anymore.

Sincerely I was tempted to abort and divorce my husband because I don't understand how someone can say evil like that, even if it was a joke, that was nonsense, since then I've been in NY, I gave birth here, Dre has been the one coming here, it's not like me and his mum don't talk, she calls and we talk, sometimes I call too, all for recently, infact last week Dre says he got an opening for a job here and he wants to take it, I blatantly to him NO, because his parents couldnt work so they are staying with him in ML, him moving here means his mum will do that too, I told him no that I like things the way they are, no issues, nothing, I cannot stay in the same house with his mum because we will have issues that one is certain, he started shouting, I reminded him of what his mother said two years ago, he now said it is the past, which past? Now that I'm working I am expected to leave my babies with her, call me delusional the instinct of a mother is to protect her children, even if she may not do anything, we will still have issues and I don't want that before someone say I'm disrespectful when I talk back.

If I decide to turn American now, I'll just tell him he can't bring anyone here without my permission, but no, I won't tell him that, some of their laws here is stupid to be honest and I'm a nice person and I was born and bred in the north in Nigeria also I don't want to escalate issue, I am the only one here, my family is in Nigeria and i never mentioned any of this to them so it won't turn to family issues, now he's not talking to me saying he will take drastic measures, it will not pass divorce and custody battle of which I know I will win but I don't want that for my kids, they need their parents in the same home not divorced, my own is he should stay where he is and take care of his parents and continue worshiping his mum, is it that hard?

I dey vex abeg, pls advice on other options fam.

You don't have single sense!!! I just hate this... Tufiakwa..
This is my issue, all this marriage nonsense, so because the mum said something 2 years ago and its over. .. Abeg, make una go sit down.
Your MIL, is the breadwinner, she can stay where she is, and ur husband join u.

Down to the main matter, I have a glass dinning table for sale, it is in perfect shape ....
There are also many other available home gadgets at cheap rates... Click and see

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Contact me if interested.

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by Biggermembersro(f): 8:59pm On Jun 07, 2019
budaatum:


2 like! Pls 3 like now that I've read it.


What is this one typing undecided undecided

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by Biggermembersro(f): 9:02pm On Jun 07, 2019
soberdrunk:
You cannot marry a "Mamas boy" and not fall in love with his 'mama'...... angry


I loved her until she said what she said, who says such abeg, tell me how staying with someone like her won't cause issues.

50 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by Asquare84(m): 9:03pm On Jun 07, 2019
Remember you are an African woman and forget about those western civilization, respect your in-laws

7 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by Biggermembersro(f): 9:05pm On Jun 07, 2019
properties4sale:


You don't have single sense!!! I just hate this... Tufiakwa..
This is my issue, all this marriage nonsense, so because the mum said something 2 years ago and its over. .. Abeg, make una go sit down.
Your MIL, is the breadwinner, she can stay where she is, and ur husband join u.

It's like you did not read everything so read it again, she use to be the breadwinner but not anymore, she is a person that anything she says is final so tell me how it will be if she does same in my home.

68 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by budaatum: 9:06pm On Jun 07, 2019
Biggermembersro:



What is this one typing undecided undecided
2 likes for the quality of writing, 3 likes for the sense


It's the heading for my response when I write it.

6 Likes

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by properties4sale: 9:10pm On Jun 07, 2019
Biggermembersro:


It's like you did not read everything so read it again, she use to be the breadwinner but not anymore, she is a person that anything she says is final so tell me how it will be if does same in my home.

oh wow!!! Staying in same place will be catastrophic oh!!! Not aviceable one bit please, Do not let that happen. Your husband should even know this na!!! Haba, himself...

22 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by soberdrunk(m): 9:12pm On Jun 07, 2019
Biggermembersro:



I loved her until she said what she said, who says such abeg, tell me how staying with someone like her won't cause issues.


Well if you truly love your husband and want to stay married to him you have to endure her, from your husband's actions it is obvious he will pick his mum over you anytime anyday so the choice is yours......

10 Likes

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by Nobody: 9:12pm On Jun 07, 2019
Well, if your MIL is exactly the way you have described her then I pity you but I have never ever met any woman in my life so wicked that she would not understand that a pregnant woman may have to retreat from time to time and especially in the first trimester. Are you sure it wasn't all a misunderstanding?

25 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by Nobody: 9:16pm On Jun 07, 2019
lilmax:
because she is more like the breadwinner



If I decide to turn American now, I'll just tell him he can't bring anyone here without my permission


women with money


dinner is served guys, have fun arguing
As if this is full statement she made..you just carry the one that suit your own narrative.

43 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by tabithababy(f): 9:18pm On Jun 07, 2019
Biggermembersro:


It's like you did not read everything so read it again, she use to be the breadwinner but not anymore, she is a person that anything she says is final so tell me how it will be if she does same in my home.
.

Make sure you don't stay under the same roof with her or else cheesy

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by Nobody: 9:19pm On Jun 07, 2019
soberdrunk:



Well if you truly love your husband and want to stay married to him you have to endure her, from your husband's actions it is obvious he will pick his mum over you anytime anyday so the choice is yours......
Endure what she is not coming for a short visit but to stay for a long time.

Later the husband will rush and start saying my mother and my wife got into a physical fight advice me pls I don't know what to do.

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by Biggermembersro(f): 9:19pm On Jun 07, 2019
Asquare84:
Remember you are an African woman and forget about those western civilization, respect your in-laws


That is what I've been doing oo, I don't even know how to disrespect someone that can give birth to me, I don't want problem that's what I've been telling Dre he no wan gree.

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by daddytime(m): 9:20pm On Jun 07, 2019
You are husbandless as in the word "husband" so long as your mother in law lives, because your mil boy is strongly tied to his mother's apron strings.

This bears every hallmark of a marriage headed for the rocks, no thanks to a monkey that went to the US and still chose to remain a monkey.

She go soon arrange wife for Dre.

I wish you well sis..

36 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by Biggermembersro(f): 9:22pm On Jun 07, 2019
Mindfulness:
Well, if your MIL is exactly the way you have described her then I pity you but I have never ever met any woman in my life so wicked that she would not understand that a pregnant woman may have to retreat from time to time and especially in the first trimester. Are you sure it wasn't all a misunderstanding?

It wasn't oo, when i open the door for them that night all for me to hear " what nonsense, what nonsense" then she started shouting, I just stepped back and kept mute.

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by soberdrunk(m): 9:27pm On Jun 07, 2019
virgoquin:
Endure what she is not coming for a short visit but to stay for a long time.

Later the husband will rush and start saying my mother and my wife got into a physical fight advice me pls I don't know what to do.



The key to every successful marriage is "endurance" from both husband and wife, when you marry someone you have to endure the bad, the worst and the ugly, and a child is already involved so she can't exactly just up and leave.......

7 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by Nobody: 10:40pm On Jun 07, 2019
Better tolerate them o, except you want alfa males to have you for dinner.

Try and make it work ehn,
You mustn't leave that marriage.

Pray without ceasing.

The Lord is your strength.

7 Likes

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by Bossjakande: 10:42pm On Jun 07, 2019
properties4sale:


You don't have single sense!!! I just hate this... Tufiakwa..
This is my issue, all this marriage nonsense, so because the mum said something 2 years ago and its over. .. Abeg, make una go sit down.
Your MIL, is the breadwinner, she can stay where she is, and ur husband join u.
God bless u

1 Like

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by faithfull18(f): 11:36pm On Jun 07, 2019
Na wa oh, this is serious, just try to convince him not to pick up the job offer.
Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by Nobody: 2:06am On Jun 08, 2019
Turn "American" on them.

They probably think they are in Nigeria where they can do anything and get away with it.
Remind them of where they are.

Nonsense.

39 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by cococandy(f): 2:10am On Jun 08, 2019
what silly sickness, if I blow that your belly, highest is you'll loose the pregnancy and then take in again,nothing is going to happen
shocked

Shouldn’t be with someone who can’t defend you when such evil is said to you and it’s his and your child that you’re carrying.

35 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by Nobody: 2:10am On Jun 08, 2019
soberdrunk:




The key to every successful marriage is "endurance" from both husband and wife, when you marry someone you have to endure the bad, the worst and the ugly, and a child is already involved so she can't exactly just up and leave.......


Sis, you don't have to endure any rubbish.

Put your foot on the ground and give him and his mother very serious warnings. Tell your MIL that if she threatens you again, you'll file a report in the police station.

You are in AMERICA, leverage it!

Don't endure any rubbish ESPECIALLY from your in-laws and husband. Call them out.

40 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by Nobody: 2:13am On Jun 08, 2019
If your MIL threatens you again, file a report in the police station, get a restraining order . She'll stop coming to the house.
One problem solved.

30 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Husband And His Mother!!! by cococandy(f): 2:16am On Jun 08, 2019
If your MIL is a breadwinner, why can’t she and her husband live by themselves?

You and your husband need to be together to grow your bond and she needs to be with her own family and let her son grow up.

29 Likes 3 Shares

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