Grupo:


Sometimes you talk like someone that does not have sense. But today, you said some things that made sense, except that part you mentioned war room.

Have u seen the movie? Go see it. I'll ignore ur first statement though. Thx

Hi. I usually don’t follow discussions like this because I had always felt that the social media isn’t the best place to seek marital solutions. However, for some reasons, I glued unto this one from the start to end. I am a guy but We share similar circumstances and I feel we might be able to compare notes and learn how to move on. I would have loved to send you a pm instead but couldn’t figure it out.
I can deduce that you are close to making up your mind about your husband and marriage. It is easy to see that both of you have contributed to worsening the situation. But he is actually going through a lot. Believe me, he is hurting and probably more than you are. One thing that worries me, though, is this your going abroad plan. To where and to do what exactly? Why not try a bit harder to work things out here. Going abroad won’t miraculously sort out this kind of life issues though might help you clear your head momentarily. Mistakes have been made. Embrace them, learn from them, make a decision on the remaining part of your active life and move on. There are options open for you and you don’t have to worry about what people would say or feel.

You are a bloody lair, you work in same place and your pastor introduced another pastor that introduce....that finally introduced.

You mannerless, he insulted you and you insulted him in return, you are lucky he didn't take you as a punching bag, so you expected him to come and pet you after you messed up.

Who did you take from? I'm sure it is not your mother.

stephenmorris:
i feel your pains sis,its advisable to quit "church" or change the church you attend,you need to reason more from a human perspective and not religious perspective .That man will never change ,he doesn't respect you at all ,even though you give him kids he won't still respect you.The best thing to do is to go separate ways for the time being though i doubt if he's going to change.From the way you described him he looks unreasonable and unwise.I fear he may one day 'end' you,Godforbid sha.I just hope you have your own source of livelihood and not dependent on his ,that's the most important thing.The most important thing is change that stupid branch or church you attend if possible don't go to church for the rest of the year ,don't involve those pastors in your marriage they will only side with your husband and not you.If you want to live long take this my advice .

thankfully I have my own source of livelihood which happens to be d same office with him unfortunately

AwkaetitiBabe:
Have u seen the movie? Go see it. I'll ignore ur first statement though. Thx

Movies like war room is for weaklings. I have heard about it but would never watch such a movie.

LilMissFavvy:
My dear, some posts we see daily shows how bad marriages have gotten. May God help women.

Amen ooooo, my sister, I was going to ask some questions here about some certain things in marriage when I stumbled upon hers....

youngest85:
I stopped reading when I read ' he begged me and pastor begged me'
They begged you to embark on a life time journey in which you are not interested in partner?

dont mind sister Rose

Ishilove:

He is not a lunatic. He is a stranger. You married a stranger and now he is doing very strange things.

Marrying a stranger doesn't have to manifest this way. Yes, it's better to date longer but courtship is not the same as being married, new life, new responsibilities, new duties and so on. Long courtship is over-hyped. We ve seen couples who dated years but after marriage, they are still discovering some mess they can't comprehend how they missed.

She just got unlucky, many short courships doing very well too. Like any other relationships, if they are both God-fearing, reasonable people, they will grow together and learn to accommodate each other. Marriage is a learning ground as well but the environment should not be toxic. How can you flourish in that kind of space?

I think I am going to be the odd one but listen to my advice. Don't move an inch from your home
1. Husband is different from boyfriend. The first year of wedding is the worst ever and even some people that dated for ten years divorce within the first or second year. Only the wise woman can adjust and keep her home.

2. Why would you ask hubby to warm his food? Is he your boyfriend? No man takes that in marriage. It shows that you don't respect him. Learn to respect him and he will love you in return.

3. Your hubby is the king of your kingdom and you are his queen. Have you ever seen any queen asking her king to go and warm food?

4. Give your husband the same respect you give your Dad because they are almost the same thing in your life right now. Can you insult your Dad? Why do you insult your husband back?

5. Humble yourself and be submissive. Marriage is not easy for any woman.Forget the nice pictures you see online The first few years may be rough, but subsequently, you will enjoy your marriage if you learn to tolerate, ignore and forgive.

6. As for the fertility aspect, join this group for free and let's teach you how to get pregnant and cure all your fertility issues.

https:///CskgM9qNDVRCBrUeSutAK1

Elesta:
Hello family, I have a long post about my terrible marriage. Please bear with me, I just have to pour everything out because it's killing me slowly.
I am in my mid 30's ,got married to this man in his mid 40's who has never been married before.We attend the same church although different branches, so the pastor of his branch and the pastor of my branch brought us together. We started dating and he seemed head over heels and started talking about marriage immediately. At first, the way he was talking and his reaction to things I wasn't interested and I even told him, but he begged me and the pastor begged me so I overlooked and continued especially considering my age. If I wasn't in my mid 30's and if I hadn't done fibroid operation and so, eager to take in, I won't have made this terrible mistake. We also work in the same place so everything seemed perfect.

Now we started making wedding plans just after one month of dating and we got married 4months after because of church process. It seemed blissful but I stumbled on his messages with a lady he was saying before me and eventually at the same time with me. I discovered he kept begging n begging her even while me n him were dating .he kept telling her to agree to attend his church or dey can be going to their separate churches but the girl kept insisting that they should attend the same church. I. e. he should leave his church and she will leave hers. Don't get me wrong, if this had happened before we started dating, I wouldn't have gotten angry. but all these happened while we were serious and even after he came to see my father, I discovered he was still pleading with her as per church matter. Who does that?? So what if she had agreed for the church matter, he would have dumped me n embarrassed my dad??

I brought it to his notice and he kept saying he never meant it, he was just using it as an excuse not to marry her.

Now in the marriage, emotional abuse never ends. Just fewonths into the marriage, he started behaving somehow bcoz I hadn't taken in. all kinds of insults oh. one day, he said if he knew I couldn't have children he won't have married me. this was just 4months into d marriage. any little thing he complains. on weekends, he expects me to get up by 7am m start preparing his breakfast oh. weekend which is supposed to b for resting since we work Monday to Friday. Every little thing, he keeps saying if he knew he won't have married me.
I still remember how he slapped me several times, he insulted me n i insulted him back, that was what caused d slap. even when he saw me crying he wasn't moved. I have complained to family members and friends ,they have spoken to him, he will change for a while and later go back to his terrible ways.
I have never seen this kind of acrimony between couple. I am not a bad looking person, I have dated people in d past, they didn't treat me half as badly as this one. I was just too unserious. I want to leave this torture. but we work in the same place and I am trying to avoid wagging tongues. I just tired. I have seen and experienced mutual love and it's not like this. I long to share love with someone that loves me just the way I am. I don't deserve to be with this animal. When it comes to food, he eats so angry if his food isn't ready on time.

Please I need advice. he went for test n it was discovered he has low sperm count. that made him humble for some fine but recently he started saying again that if he had married a younger lady, d lady would have been pregnant by now. just imagine this kind of torture. God knows I have absorbed so much from this man

You seem to be a proud and lazy fellow...
You deserve all the treatment he gives and things can only be better if you amend your ways...

Lexusgs430:



Marriage is not by force, if it's not working..... Walk away....

Are you concerned about how people would view your failed marriage?

They are not the one's involved in this situationship, but you.......

Marriage is about Love & Emotions and caring..... All this vital ingredients are missing from your situationship.....

The moment violence resides in a marriage, it's best to walk out alive, than carried out dead.....

Why can't he prepare his own meals? Did he marry a wife or slave.........

So, in your own WISE thinking, all those Women who prepare MEALS in their homes are SLAVES in that home?
So, @baby123 that wakes up at 6am to prepare meals for her husband and still works up till 5pm has been turned to a SLAVE by her darling hubby?
Some of you sef, it would have been better to keep mute, so as to be thought-of as wise, than to utter bunkum.

Elesta:

thankfully I have my own source of livelihood which happens to be d same office with him unfortunately

it does not matter. Bullshiiiit himmand move on with your life, people will talk for about 3 months or so and the whole thing will be history, very soon MR Right will come and not this animal of a man

Grupo:


Movies like war room is for weaklings. I have heard about it but would never watch such a movie.

Eheeeeen! No problem. You entitled to your opinion

AwkaetitiBabe:
You gotta breathe... Let go of the ego. Life is simply simple. I'm sure there's a solution to all these. You guys can use the Banana therapy to boost your fertility level. For early cooking, you can do it or simply buy sleeping tea and give to him so he can sleep longer and thereby increase ur sleep time.

No one is perfect, try to work through it all and if it doesn't improve, you can quietly exit.

Chai God no go allow me marry someone like u oooo



U fit put orishirishi 4pesin food

HitSong:

You seem to be a proud and lazy fellow...
You deserve all the treatment he gives and things can only be better if you amend your ways...

sharaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap mumu

BABANGBALI:
it does not matter. Bullshiiiit himmand move on with your life, people will talk for about 3 months or so and the whole thing will be history, very soon MR Right will come and not this animal of a man

Shebi? thank u bo

millionboi2:
Chai God no go allow me marry someone like u oooo



U fit put orishirishi 4pesin food

Naaaaa. Don't overthink it. That's just wild imagination. But d lady simply could wake very early and cook then go back to sleep.

Women suffer far more than men, it's because of our society.

Daboomb:


So it is ONLY WOMEN that are into marriage or suffering from bad marriages and they are ht eonly ones that need help?
So, Men dont also suffer in marriage or have emotions that are being abused?
SMH for all these one-sided opinions.

Elesta:

Shebi? thank u bo

call me baby, i like ladies calling me baby

BABANGBALI:
sharaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap mumu

In your face!

I’m ashamed on your behalf, talking about how they begged you, they begged you and you are in your mid 30s o, that doesn’t tell you, you are supposed to be more sensible than ‘they begged me’? I swear I taya for you. So what do you want us to tell you now? Don’t you know you can divorce him? Abeg my friend don’t come and annoy somebody here o.

eni4real:
Constituted authority
You are not even the pastor ooo
How many years is your tenure as the youth leader??
Too much entitlement!!!

Please stop dragging issues beyond reasoning.
It's a waste of time and a disservice to the creator of the thread.

Your personal "personality" and idiosyncrasies is your business and yours alone.

Elesta:
Hello family, I have a long post about my terrible marriage. Please bear with me, I just have to pour everything out because it's killing me slowly.
I am in my mid 30's ,got married to this man in his mid 40's who has never been married before.We attend the same church although different branches, so the pastor of his branch and the pastor of my branch brought us together. We started dating and he seemed head over heels and started talking about marriage immediately. At first, the way he was talking and his reaction to things I wasn't interested and I even told him, but he begged me and the pastor begged me so I overlooked and continued especially considering my age. If I wasn't in my mid 30's and if I hadn't done fibroid operation and so, eager to take in, I won't have made this terrible mistake. We also work in the same place so everything seemed perfect.

Now we started making wedding plans just after one month of dating and we got married 4months after because of church process. It seemed blissful but I stumbled on his messages with a lady he was saying before me and eventually at the same time with me. I discovered he kept begging n begging her even while me n him were dating .he kept telling her to agree to attend his church or dey can be going to their separate churches but the girl kept insisting that they should attend the same church. I. e. he should leave his church and she will leave hers. Don't get me wrong, if this had happened before we started dating, I wouldn't have gotten angry. but all these happened while we were serious and even after he came to see my father, I discovered he was still pleading with her as per church matter. Who does that?? So what if she had agreed for the church matter, he would have dumped me n embarrassed my dad??

I brought it to his notice and he kept saying he never meant it, he was just using it as an excuse not to marry her.

Now in the marriage, emotional abuse never ends. Just fewonths into the marriage, he started behaving somehow bcoz I hadn't taken in. all kinds of insults oh. one day, he said if he knew I couldn't have children he won't have married me. this was just 4months into d marriage. any little thing he complains. on weekends, he expects me to get up by 7am m start preparing his breakfast oh. weekend which is supposed to b for resting since we work Monday to Friday. Every little thing, he keeps saying if he knew he won't have married me.
I still remember how he slapped me several times, he insulted me n i insulted him back, that was what caused d slap. even when he saw me crying he wasn't moved. I have complained to family members and friends ,they have spoken to him, he will change for a while and later go back to his terrible ways.
I have never seen this kind of acrimony between couple. I am not a bad looking person, I have dated people in d past, they didn't treat me half as badly as this one. I was just too unserious. I want to leave this torture. but we work in the same place and I am trying to avoid wagging tongues. I just tired. I have seen and experienced mutual love and it's not like this. I long to share love with someone that loves me just the way I am. I don't deserve to be with this animal. When it comes to food, he eats so angry if his food isn't ready on time.

Please I need advice. he went for test n it was discovered he has low sperm count. that made him humble for some fine but recently he started saying again that if he had married a younger lady, d lady would have been pregnant by now. just imagine this kind of torture. God knows I have absorbed so much from this man

This will be long but I would like you to follow me through it:

First, I don't want you to see your age or the age difference between you and your husband as an issue or the reason why there are issues. There are many marriages with the same age character that are doing well. Also, the fact that your pastors introduced you to each other is immaterial. There is always an avenue to meet. It might be through pastors, parents or even friends. I am sure your pastor will not knowingly push you into something dangerous. Besides, you two are adults and you had the right to back out at any point in time.

Secondly, it is not unusual for couples to have issues in the first two years of marriage Irrespective of whether you courted for 4 months or 40 years. Marriage is a different ball game entirely and usually there is a period of 'sizing up' by both parties. This is also the period where necessary adjustments are made if the marriage will last. The issue could range from delay in child bearing (as in your case) to money/finance issues, to inability to Balance family and work to lack of communication and so on. So you have to understand that you are not alone. It's not about your fibriod operation or that your time was running out, it's a phase that if handled right will pass and you will become wiser for it.

As for the lady in question, is he still seeing her? If he is then that changes the eqaution but if he is not, the only thing I can say is forgive and move on. It painful but you stand to gain nothing from thinking about what could have been if what didn't happen had happened. Save yourself the ache and let it go.

Even if he didn't have low sperm count, It was wrong to blame you for the delay in conception. However, he might (note the word might) only be using it as a weapon because he knows that that is a subject that will touch you. To him it might be more as a weapon of war than a statement of his state of mind.

The abuse: I will never condone physical abuse no matter the provocation. But having said that, you need to understand that every person has a trigger point, once you know it, stay away and there will be relative peace. Also let me say that women are more powerful than they know. And, there are wiser ways to this power to their advantage. But YOU CANNOT CHANGE A MAN THROUGH CONFRONTATION much less by insulting him. Instead you will put him on the defense and he will probably react.

As for you waking up by 7am on Saturday; I feel it's something you can always work around. For instance If you know that is what he wants, prepare his meal before hand such that if you need to wake up it's just to warm it up for him. There are other creative ways to work around it.

Comparing your marriage to other relationships you have had will not do you much good. The fact is that you are not married to any of your ex's so you need to face the reality. Also the fact that you work in the same place as should not be what is tying you down if you feel that you cannot cope any longer.

You said you have not seen so much acrimony, my sister you will be shocked if people tell you what is going on behind the fanciful smiles and lovely couple pictures. Some are managing it while others are working their way through it. It's called life.

You wrote that 'you don't deserve to live with this animal' that tells me two things: 1) if you could write this about him, you have told him worse things to his face (or at least thought of). 2) if you opened your eyes and married an animal then......
What I am saying is that you need to control your reactions, temper and tongue. I am not saying he is totally right. I am saying you both don't have to be wrong.

Lastly, given what you have written, your marriage is not beyond redemption. However, it depends on if you want to make it work. I will suggest the following;

A) develop a thicker skin to his words. See them as a means to get to you so don't let his words control how you feel.

B) I feel that you need to pickup books on how to make marriage work. You will be amazed at the level of insight you will find

C) look for slightly older marriages (5-10years) that can mentor you. People who walked your path not too long ago that can hold your hands through the journey.

D) look at what is good (or what good is left) in him. You mentioned that he pays the bills. That is more that what a lot of married women out there are praying for.

E) the God factor. I am a Christian and I know God answers prayers. However, the prayer is not to change him (at least in the immediate), the prayer is to change you so that you will make the necessary adjustments thereby eliciting the right response from him. Also, that your conception will easily come forth.

Sorry for writing an Epistle but I hope it helps.

HitSong:

In your face!

if i tear you hungry man sleep

BABANGBALI:
call me baby, i like ladies calling me baby

it's bo I typed not boo
and I am still legally married to d idiot. until I leave him, I am on my own

End the torture already. You just should have listened to your heart and not your pastors i know they meant no harm. I don't
understand why someone will waist his time n resources to marry someone they don't like. If you can leave the marriage pls do the idiot that is not man enough ain't worthy of you. He should be praying that God increase his low sperm rather he is there maltreating you.. This is what you want to here.

Don't talk back at your husband, he insults you n you insult him back are you both contesting for WWE title? I know he is a dick head but i promise you most men are. That man definitely is hurting i don't think any man will react positively in his predicament. So i suggest you communicate better with him if you are too hot tempered anytime he starts his insults take a mouth full of water don't swallow it, you will control ya self beta that way, with time he will come back to his senses if he is wise enough he will realize he is insulting himself by insulting you the wife. Lastly you both should take medical steps to resolve his issues it can be treated. But after making affort and he doesn't change then ditch his worthless ass. Remember always make your choices and don't let people do for you bcs you gon live with whatever decisions you make regardless of whom told to do and not do. What you probably don't want to hear.

TSRC:

Please stop dragging issues beyond reasoning.
It's a waste of time and a disservice to the creator of the thread.

Your personal "personality" and idiosyncrasies is your business and yours alone.

Bro bro
Enjoy your tenure..

mhizdebbygold:
My love, am still telling people one thing you are not supposed to take in marriage is insults and beatings.
Don't let him give you flowers on your funeral.

This church combination of a marriage are usually scam, you should know that. how will you get married to someone just after 4 months you met?!

My dear give your self brain... Go and meet that pastor that joined the two of you and explain things to him.
Oga has low sperm count and he's still blaming you like he doesn't have his own problem abi?!
Hey! Don't also forget to pray.

Love ya

Lol
Birds of the feathers...
Keep fooling while you're even more in a terrible situation...

BABANGBALI:
if i tear you hungry man sleep

Olodo
Goan fight for her nau

Its obvious there was no love from the beginning...All I see was a situation were by two pastors saw the need to help a senior lady and a senior bros b4 it became to late seeing their commitment to the growth of the church. were u Bleep up was when you bought the idea after your 2weeks of shakara (You fall ma hands sha). Because it lacked the foundation of love that was why the bros was trying to reconcile things with his ex or side chick (anyone). U still went ahead and got married to the man (maybe you were desperate to settle down considering you age)..
Now that he's violent and abusive towards you..my question is...aunty/sister/madam dem tie your two legs? If no, then I'll advice you find you square root asap b4 you body will be filled with tattoo of wound scars... But if u don't want to end your marriage, then I'll suggest you involve your pastors, explain everything to them...maybe they can talk some spiritual sense into his akporoko skull....also visit a marriage counselor for some help and finally pray hard so God can break whatever chain his side chick has on him so u can be his one and only love..till death do una.........�!!!

Nne forget pastor matter and leave that modafuka
Of a husband before he send you to your Early grave.Such man can hardly change.If all u said is true,He doesn't love u. You need to start planning ahead before he take u unaware. Even if you are 40yrs nothing do u.You are still young, Person wey love you wiil come your way.

Elesta:
Hello family, I have a long post about my terrible marriage. Please bear with me, I just have to pour everything out because it's killing me slowly.
I am in my mid 30's ,got married to this man in his mid 40's who has never been married before.We attend the same church although different branches, so the pastor of his branch and the pastor of my branch brought us together. We started dating and he seemed head over heels and started talking about marriage immediately. At first, the way he was talking and his reaction to things I wasn't interested and I even told him, but he begged me and the pastor begged me so I overlooked and continued especially considering my age. If I wasn't in my mid 30's and if I hadn't done fibroid operation and so, eager to take in, I won't have made this terrible mistake. We also work in the same place so everything seemed perfect.

Now we started making wedding plans just after one month of dating and we got married 4months after because of church process. It seemed blissful but I stumbled on his messages with a lady he was saying before me and eventually at the same time with me. I discovered he kept begging n begging her even while me n him were dating .he kept telling her to agree to attend his church or dey can be going to their separate churches but the girl kept insisting that they should attend the same church. I. e. he should leave his church and she will leave hers. Don't get me wrong, if this had happened before we started dating, I wouldn't have gotten angry. but all these happened while we were serious and even after he came to see my father, I discovered he was still pleading with her as per church matter. Who does that?? So what if she had agreed for the church matter, he would have dumped me n embarrassed my dad??

I brought it to his notice and he kept saying he never meant it, he was just using it as an excuse not to marry her.

Now in the marriage, emotional abuse never ends. Just fewonths into the marriage, he started behaving somehow bcoz I hadn't taken in. all kinds of insults oh. one day, he said if he knew I couldn't have children he won't have married me. this was just 4months into d marriage. any little thing he complains. on weekends, he expects me to get up by 7am m start preparing his breakfast oh. weekend which is supposed to b for resting since we work Monday to Friday. Every little thing, he keeps saying if he knew he won't have married me.
I still remember how he slapped me several times, he insulted me n i insulted him back, that was what caused d slap. even when he saw me crying he wasn't moved. I have complained to family members and friends ,they have spoken to him, he will change for a while and later go back to his terrible ways.
I have never seen this kind of acrimony between couple. I am not a bad looking person, I have dated people in d past, they didn't treat me half as badly as this one. I was just too unserious. I want to leave this torture. but we work in the same place and I am trying to avoid wagging tongues. I just tired. I have seen and experienced mutual love and it's not like this. I long to share love with someone that loves me just the way I am. I don't deserve to be with this animal. When it comes to food, he eats so angry if his food isn't ready on time.

Please I need advice. he went for test n it was discovered he has low sperm count. that made him humble for some fine but recently he started saying again that if he had married a younger lady, d lady would have been pregnant by now. just imagine this kind of torture. God knows I have absorbed so much from this man

Elesta:
Hello family, I have a long post about my terrible marriage. Please bear with me, I just have to pour everything out because it's killing me slowly.
I am in my mid 30's ,got married to this man in his mid 40's who has never been married before.We attend the same church although different branches, so the pastor of his branch and the pastor of my branch brought us together. We started dating and he seemed head over heels and started talking about marriage immediately. At first, the way he was talking and his reaction to things I wasn't interested and I even told him, but he begged me and the pastor begged me so I overlooked and continued especially considering my age. If I wasn't in my mid 30's and if I hadn't done fibroid operation and so, eager to take in, I won't have made this terrible mistake. We also work in the same place so everything seemed perfect.

Now we started making wedding plans just after one month of dating and we got married 4months after because of church process. It seemed blissful but I stumbled on his messages with a lady he was saying before me and eventually at the same time with me. I discovered he kept begging n begging her even while me n him were dating .he kept telling her to agree to attend his church or dey can be going to their separate churches but the girl kept insisting that they should attend the same church. I. e. he should leave his church and she will leave hers. Don't get me wrong, if this had happened before we started dating, I wouldn't have gotten angry. but all these happened while we were serious and even after he came to see my father, I discovered he was still pleading with her as per church matter. Who does that?? So what if she had agreed for the church matter, he would have dumped me n embarrassed my dad??

I brought it to his notice and he kept saying he never meant it, he was just using it as an excuse not to marry her.

Now in the marriage, emotional abuse never ends. Just fewonths into the marriage, he started behaving somehow bcoz I hadn't taken in. all kinds of insults oh. one day, he said if he knew I couldn't have children he won't have married me. this was just 4months into d marriage. any little thing he complains. on weekends, he expects me to get up by 7am m start preparing his breakfast oh. weekend which is supposed to b for resting since we work Monday to Friday. Every little thing, he keeps saying if he knew he won't have married me.
I still remember how he slapped me several times, he insulted me n i insulted him back, that was what caused d slap. even when he saw me crying he wasn't moved. I have complained to family members and friends ,they have spoken to him, he will change for a while and later go back to his terrible ways.
I have never seen this kind of acrimony between couple. I am not a bad looking person, I have dated people in d past, they didn't treat me half as badly as this one. I was just too unserious. I want to leave this torture. but we work in the same place and I am trying to avoid wagging tongues. I just tired. I have seen and experienced mutual love and it's not like this. I long to share love with someone that loves me just the way I am. I don't deserve to be with this animal. When it comes to food, he eats so angry if his food isn't ready on time.

Please I need advice. he went for test n it was discovered he has low sperm count. that made him humble for some fine but recently he started saying again that if he had married a younger lady, d lady would have been pregnant by now. just imagine this kind of torture. God knows I have absorbed so much from this man

my dear though the husband is a devil in his own way

you are partly to blame in the situation you are in

you pleased two masters in getting married, yourself and the church


you can only really serve one master which is yourself, the church pushed you into rushing to marrying the guy

where is the church now ? all i can say is go back to church for counselling