Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,148,639 members, 7,801,857 topics. Date: Friday, 19 April 2024 at 02:19 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Jokes For The Week, let us hear urs (7863 Views)
Hot Jokes For You All / Short Jokes For U / Funny Nigerian Jokes for Everyone (2) (3) (4)
Re: Jokes For The Week, let us hear urs by ysyowel(m): 2:55pm On Sep 29, 2019 |
Boy dropped girl at home, he put his
hand on the wall by the gate for support, leaned
towards her.
BOY : Can I kiss you?
GIRL: Not now, I'm at home.
BOY : Pleaseeeeeeeee!
GIRL: No.
BOY : You were too sweet in bed today.
GIRL: Woooow! You too, full of energy. I could not
believe we did it four times!
BOY : Let me kiss you good night.
GIRL: Someone may be watching, they still think
I'm a virgin at home.
....
This goes on for ten minutes, then the girl's brother appears at the gate and says "Dad says whether you kiss him or not, it's your decision, but tell that bastard to remove his hand from the intercom button, everyone in the house is listening to your conversation and you are disturbing the prayer session.... 1 Like |
Re: Jokes For The Week, let us hear urs by ysyowel(m): 2:58pm On Sep 29, 2019 |
WIFE: Darling why are you home this early wearing such a long face? HUSBAND: Had a terrible day, I lost all my colleagues today at work WIFE: Blood of Jesus! What happened? HUSBAND: There was a fire out break down the tunnel and everybody died! WIFE: What a pity! Darling I thank God for keeping U alive. How did you make it out my dear? HUSBAND: Darling, it was God`s work. My stomach was upsetting me so, I took a break to ease myself in the toilet. WIFE: Darling, thank God you are alive. What would have happened to us? I feel so much pity for their families, how are they going to survive now? HUSBAND: My dear it’s a pity, but UNITED NATIONS has decided to give the families of the deceased $10 million each. WIFE: What? !!!! ten million what? Chai!! Honey you didn't do well oo, why are you always absent when God wants to bless us? |
Re: Jokes For The Week, let us hear urs by ysyowel(m): 7:22pm On Oct 28, 2019 |
Bravest Man One day, a king held a party to look for the bravest man who will marry her daughter. He invited all the men in the land and told them that the person to swim across the pool with alligators gets my daughter or a million naira. Suddenly, Akpos was swimming very fast across the pool. He successfully made it through. KING: Wow! You made it sir, what do you want, 1million or my daughter. AKPOS: Sir with all due respect I want nothing of yours. All I want to know is the person who pushed me in the pool. ������. |
Re: Jokes For The Week, let us hear urs by ysyowel(m): 7:23pm On Oct 28, 2019 |
Spiritual problem is when u walk for 2hours to work just to get there and realize that you forgot the office key at home. So you managed to walk back home leaving your heavy bag at the office doorstep... On getting home, you realized that your house key is in the bag you left at the Office Doorstep... You got upset, but had no choice, so you walked back to the office again, picked up your bag angrily, and walked your way back home again.. Upon getting home, you dipped your hand in your bag, only to realize that the office key was in your bag all along... Now you sit on the floor shouting... "kill me ooohhh village people. 1 Like |
Re: Jokes For The Week, let us hear urs by ysyowel(m): 7:25pm On Oct 28, 2019 |
What is *YAWA*? . *YAWA* is when u give a beautiful girl a lift and she faints in your car. You take her to the hospital and when you get there, the Doctor says she's pregnant and congratulates you that you are going to be father very soon. You then shout that you are not the father and the girl says you are the father. Things are now getting *YAWAFUL*. You require a DNA test to prove you are not the father. Things are now getting *YAWASTIC* when the doctor comes with the result saying you can not be a father because you are infertile. You are relieved, but on your way home you remember you are married with three kids at home!... Now you are extremely *YAWACIOUS*. Now, you begin to ask yourself who is the father of those kids. You get home to find out that the gateman is their real father. You are now *YAWADED*.. You decided to travel home to complain to your mother about the latest development.. And your Mum with tears running down her cheeks tells u, my son.. I'm so sorry... Your Dad ain't really your Dad... Then u know that things are now *YAWASTICATED* . Wishing you a YAWA FREE DAY 1 Like |
Re: Jokes For The Week, let us hear urs by ysyowel(m): 7:26pm On Oct 28, 2019 |
*HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:* 1. Feed him 2. Sleep with him 3. Leave him in peace 4. Don't check his phone (Msgs) 5. Don't bother him with his movements So what's so hard about that? *HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY:* It's really not too difficult but... To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a plumber 10. a mechanic 11. a carpenter 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer 22. a good father 23. very clean 24. sympathetic 25. athletic 26. warm 27. attentive 28. gallant 29. intelligent 30. funny 31. creative 32. tender 33. strong 34. understanding 35. tolerant 36. prudent 37. ambitious 38. capable 39. courageous 40. determined 41. true 42. dependable 43. passionate WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 44. give her compliments regularly 45. go shopping with her 46. be honest 47. not stress her out 48. not look at other girls AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: 49. give her lots of attention 50. give her lots of time, especially time for herself 51. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes BUT MOST OF ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: 52. Should learn not to ask for change when u give money for shopping. Whatever u give out becomes rightly hers no matter how big the note is. ......... TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY IS A SERIOUS BUSINESS OO Send this to everyone on your list. Make a happy home. Wishing you all a HAPPY FAMILY. |
Re: Jokes For The Week, let us hear urs by ysyowel(m): 9:29pm On Jun 10, 2023 |
5 THINGS AMERICAN MOVIES TEACHES US: 1. That Chinese have nothing better to do than teaching or practice Kung Fu. 2. More than 50% of U.S. population are FBI/CIA agents, working undercover. 3. The purpose of school system of U.S. is to promote Basketball/Baseball. 4. Aliens have special interest in attacking the U.S. 5. U.S. is a place where you can meet all mythical creatures like werewolves & vampires. 5 THINGS INDIAN MOVIES TEACHES US: 1. At least one of the identical twins is born evil. 2. While defusing a bomb, don't worry, whichever wire you cut... you always choose the right one. 3. A hero will show no pain while getting beaten up; but will show pain when a girl cleans up his wounds. 4. A detective can solve a case only when he is suspended from duty. The most hilarious one... 5. If you decide to start dancing on the street, everyone you meet will know the steps. 5 THINGS NIGERIA MOVIES TEACHES US: 🥱🥱😹 1. Nigerian movie has taught us that once a guy leaves to Lagos, he'll be rich when coming back.😆 2. Whenever thunder strikes, someone must shout "I will confess" and After the person confess, the next thing is to die.😶😶 3. When A rich prince and a poor village boy is dragging a girl, the rich prince is just fooling himself because the poor village boy will win.👉😂 4. When a poor boy is blowing a flute in the bush, it attracts the attention of the princess and she must fall in love.😆 5. Nigerian movie has taught us that madness starts with laughter. 😆 |
Very Funny, How To Speak Chinese / Lol!! Mad Man And Woman Cau Ght Havi Ng S 3x In A Corner At Aba ( See !8 Photos) / Funny Leave Letters And Applications Written By Some Indians
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 24 |