liberalchick:
Some people don’t marry for love but to check the box and raise a family. While some people marry for love and companionship, when kids come it’s a blessing which solidifies the love. A man that is already placing a condition to marry you, what happens to the marriage when she can no longer meet that condition? What if she gets pregnant, loses the baby after the wedding and suffers secondary infertility?

Some men want a wife, while some want a mare. The man is the latter. If she wants to go ahead and prove her fertility before the wedding, there is nothing you can do. However, she should know the man is not obligated to go on with the wedding if/when she gets pregnant. There are many stories of women who became baby mamas via failed wedding promises.

Only few people reason like you.
You dont marry a woman based on physical qualities or because of children
What happens when those physical qualities fades or children doesn't come out what happens ?
That is why its better to marry someone because of love which is unconditional and it gets stronger with time.

davillian:

Only few people reason like you.
You dont marry a woman based on physical qualities or because of children
What happens when those physical qualities fades or children doesn't come out what happens ?
That is why its better to marry someone because of love which is unconditional and it gets stronger with time.

Love is a fleeting emotion that also fades. People fall out of love and divorce every time. In fact love can easily turn to hate you know? Very few people are capable of unconditional love. Very few. Most love you for a reason.

Most guys that insist are themselves impotent and want to push the woman into playing away.

You're sister should run.

baby124:

Love is a fleeting emotion that also fades. People fall out of love and divorce every time. In fact love can easily turn to hate you know? Very few people are capable of unconditional love. Very few. Most love you for a reason.

Like I said love is suppose to be unconditional.
A mothers love for her child no matter what the child does she still stands behind him/her.
If it fades its not love to me.

davillian:

Like I said love is suppose to be unconditional.
A mothers love for her child no matter what the child does she still stands behind him/her.
If it fades its not love to me.

Your spouse is not your mother. So, don’t demand such loyalty and commitment from another human being or you will be disappointed. Even a lot of mothers do not have unconditional love for their own child. So what are we saying? People get married for their own reasons and wanting children believe it or not, is one of them. You should be looking for someone that wants companionship and not love. Love fades and dies sef.

baby124:

Your spouse is not your mother. So, don’t demand such loyalty and commitment from another human being or you will be disappointed. Even a lot of mothers do not have unconditional love for their own child. So what are we saying? People get married for their own reasons and wanting children believe it or not, is one of them. You should be looking for someone that wants companionship and not love. Love fades and dies sef.

I have a friend who said he doesn't want to get married and that he gets tired of waking up to see one particular face every morning.
I have a dog and I love her unconditionally she is not even human.
Animals can be annoying if you've ever had one.
But I still hold her dear to my heart unconditionally.
Would you still love a man who cheats on you got another woman pregnant and you still love that same man.
My gf cheated and got pregnant but it doesn't change what I feel for her.

davillian:

I have a friend who said he doesn't want to get married and that he gets tired of waking up to see one particular face every morning.
I have a dog and I love her unconditionally she is not even human.
Animals can be annoying if you've ever had one.
But I still hold her dear to my heart unconditionally.
Would you still love a man who cheats on you got another woman pregnant and you still love that same man.
My gf cheated and got pregnant but it doesn't change what I feel for her.

Well you are special. No, I cannot love a man who cheats and get someone else pregnant. That love will most certainly die. The only person I have unconditional love for is my parents and children and that’s it.

baby124:

Well you are special. No, I cannot love a man who cheats and get someone else pregnant. That love will most certainly die. The only person I have unconditional love for is my parents and children and that’s it.

For now your parents
But sure you would have unconditional love for both your kids and your parents

davillian:

For now your parents
But sure you would have unconditional love for both your kids and your parents

No both.

A Typical naija man who is set many of bad traditional beliefs is a disaster to any woman. They won’t listen.

dominique:


Similar thing with one of my in-laws. The man she was dating gave her same condition but she couldn't conceive and had to end the relationship when she was approaching 30 and started dating someone else. She went on to welcome her first child within her first year of marriage.

I read a rather pathetic story on Facebook where a lady was given same condition and she came to seek advice. She recently started a high praying job that mandated female employees not to get pregnant within one year of employment. We all chorused the same advice "DON'T TRY IT!" A man that truly loves you will never give you such condition and put your career at risk. She eventually succumbed to the pressure from the man and his family and got pregnant. Unfortunately for her the pregnancy was a very difficult one and she was sick a lot, she ended up losing the job. When she told him that she has lost her job, he told her point blank that she's of no use to him anymore and he can't afford to feed two extra mouths without income coming from her. She called his mother who appeared sympathetic at first but after some time, the mum stopped picking her calls. As at the time she came back to the page to give feedback and ask for advice again, she was almost due, no job, no money, no husband.

I hope your sister doesn't learn the hard way that succumbing to ridiculous condition by a fiancee does not guarantee marriage or a happy one for that matter

It’s ignorant to think abortions cause infertility. It’s very very rare for abortions to cause infertility. Why y’all keep parroting stuff like this as if it makes sense baffles me.

STDs on the other hand is on the top of the causes of infertility. The typical naija man who celebrates his sexual conquests like it elevates his person should be suspect whenever issues of fertility arise. Most of you are empty barrels incapable of making babies because of myriads of stds that have rendered y’all sterile.

But your egos won’t let you accept this.

lilmax:
this generation women really destroyed their body

you can imagine a woman going through 7 abortions, yet still looking for a reasonable man to settle down with

Update:
My sister confronted him this afternoon that they should go to the fertility clinic to run tests since what they want isn't happening.
The man said he is sure they are both alright, she should calm down and that highest they will do IVF.
I'm tempted to call him up and tell him to leave my sister alone...this is wickedness at its peak, you don't want to marry, you don't want to free the girl to marry!

bluetopaz:
Update:
My sister confronted him this afternoon that they should go to the fertility clinic to run tests since what they want isn't happening.
The man said he is sure they are both alright, she should calm down and that highest they will do IVF.
I'm tempted to call him up and tell him to leave my sister alone...this is wickedness at its peak, you don't want to marry, you don't want to free the girl to marry!

He must go to the hospital for fertility test or she walks. It’s her choice, no one is holding her down.

UjuJoan2:


I have a friend who went through a similar experience . . . the fiancé paid her bride price but would not go through with the wedding except she got pregnant.

I remember how she visited fertility clinics upon fertility clinic, all to no avail. Eventually she 'played an away match' and got pregnant immediately. The new guy wasted no time in marrying her and they returned the Oga'a bride price. Today she has four kids with her husband, and the ex is married to someone else now, no kids!

Women need to learn to do what is best for them.

Perhaps men who do such and know they have a problem are indirectly asking the women to play away matches and pin the pregnancy on them.
Because I don't understand how you will know you have such a problem and still insist on the women getting pregnant for you before marrying them. You know that's not gonna happen unless they play away match.