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Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships - Romance - Nairaland

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Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by Ademi007(m): 10:46am On May 09, 2007
It so sad to find out that our females are mostly the ones who lose out in a broken relationship.

In most Nigeria Higher Institution we find out that most couples live together, in which the male in most cases turn his so called girlfriend into a house help. And i still wonder why in this modern age why some girls would allow themselves to be used, this is something that has been on my mind for a very long time.

Studies has shown that some do it for the advantages there will get academically while some is due to pressure from family and friend and see it as a way out. What these girls don't understand is that apart from selling them selves cheaply, most of them will end up with a nervous break down.

Spending the night at your man's house is ok, not 3 months or more because you will lose that potency (value). and besides from all these i have mentioned I think females do have fragile hearts and that has been causing serious problems for them, because its their weakness.

Love is a good thing but don't be foolish bout it. Everything should not always be about him.
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by iice(f): 4:52pm On May 09, 2007
What works for one doesnt necessarily work for another. Generalization can be tricky sometimes. Some people can live together without losing their relationship (i know people like that) and others don't even need to move into another's place to break up. For a woman to allow herself to be treated less than who she is (and that has different levels or interpretations) is a product of many things. Somethings are not black and white.

1 Like

Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by IBDat(m): 5:03pm On May 09, 2007
@Ademi007 - Soz but i don't agree with yo view point on this matter.
Not all men turn their girlfriends into maids! I'm also sure the woman has a mind of her own and able to deduce from her contributions to being taken 4 a ride.
Moving in with yo partner is just the next level of commitment b4 marriage - this is not a decision that is indeed taken likely by either party (otherwise it's stupidity).
I also don't get what u mean by fragile heartz - No relationship has a guranteed stamp mark on it!
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by Ademi007(m): 6:02pm On May 09, 2007
i feel you ibdat
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by Rhea(f): 1:18pm On May 10, 2007
Before we counter, let's take note of the use of 'some' and 'most' in his entry. That does not generalise anything.
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by iice(f): 4:26pm On May 10, 2007
Rhea:

Before we counter, let's take note of the use of 'some' and 'most' in his entry. That does not generalise anything.


*noted*
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by dremoney(m): 4:36pm On May 10, 2007
iice:

What works for one doesnt necessarily work for another. Generalization can be tricky sometimes. Some people can live together without losing their relationship (i know people like that) and others don't even need to move into another's place to break up. For a woman to allow herself to be treated less than who she is (and that has different levels or interpretations) is a product of many things. Somethings are not black and white.

sure.ur right.
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by tenor(m): 4:40pm On May 10, 2007
iice:

What works for one doesnt necessarily work for another. Generalization can be tricky sometimes. Some people can live together without losing their relationship (i know people like that) and others don't even need to move into another's place to break up. For a woman to allow herself to be treated less than who she is (and that has different levels or interpretations) is a product of many things. Somethings are not black and white.
iice, thank you my dear. Pls help me tell Ademi!
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by dremoney(m): 4:50pm On May 10, 2007
Ademi007:

It so sad to find out that our females are mostly the ones who lose out in a broken relationship.

In most Nigeria Higher Institution we find out that most couples live together, in which the male in most cases turn his so called girlfriend into a house help. And i still wonder why in this modern age why some girls would allow themselves to be used, this is something that has been on my mind for a very long time.

Studies has shown that some do it for the advantages there will get academically while some is due to pressure from family and friend and see it as a way out. What these girls don't understand is that apart from selling them selves cheaply, most of them will end up with a nervous break down.

Spending the night at your man's house is ok, not 3 months or more because you will lose that potency (value). and besides from all these i have mentioned I think females do have fragile hearts and that has been causing serious problems for them, because its their weakness.

Love is a good thing but don't be foolish bout it. Everything should not always be about him.

u r not serious. grin
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by junegirl(f): 11:12am On May 11, 2007
A psychologist friend of mine carried out a research on this topic for his thesis. The result: 90% of co-habitation cases DO NOT RESULT in marriage.
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by temmyabby(f): 11:31am On May 11, 2007
junegirl:

A psychologist friend of mine carried out a research on this topic for his thesis. The result: 90% of co-habitation cases DO NOT RESULT in marriage.
shocked interesting , 90% now thats huge
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by iice(f): 3:23pm On May 11, 2007
@junegirl interesting - the psychologist that is grin

Sometimes marriage is not the ultimate goal, but that's of course not nigerian culture especially if one is living @ home
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by wifeypenth(f): 8:29pm On May 11, 2007
Ademi007:

It so sad to find out that our females are mostly the ones who lose out in a broken relationship.

In most Nigeria Higher Institution we find out that most couples live together, in which the male in most cases turn his so called girlfriend into a house help. And i still wonder why in this modern age why some girls would allow themselves to be used, this is something that has been on my mind for a very long time.

Studies has shown that some do it for the advantages there will get academically while some is due to pressure from family and friend and see it as a way out. What these girls don't understand is that apart from selling them selves cheaply, most of them will end up with a nervous break down.

Spending the night at your man's house is ok, not 3 months or more because you will lose that potency (value). and besides from all these i have mentioned I think females do have fragile hearts and that has been causing serious problems for them, because its their weakness.

Love is a good thing but don't be foolish bout it. Everything should not always be about him.



you are totally rite
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by hotchic1(f): 10:17pm On May 11, 2007
i don't think its wise to move in with a guy whilst in Uni.There's no guarantee that any relationship will turn into marriage , so dont take the risk, avoid been used and dumped.
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by sussy1(f): 10:10am On May 14, 2007
Guys r dangerous.They r the alpha and omega of most broken relationship.
Some selfish ladies too will not try and investigate a guy b4 going into any relationship with them,knowing well that, what he did for A is surely going to happen to B.Ladies love sacrificing all they have into a relationship while some guys love free will(awufu)and could be deceitful
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by maxxdjinx(m): 10:19am On May 14, 2007
@ topic:
There are exceptions and I believe relationships fare better if time is taken to define the relationship. [although this rarely happens]. A vital component in any relationship is communication. However, we must also understand that we are humans dealing with each other and there are no guarantees.
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by elmonks(m): 4:13pm On May 15, 2007
In d first instance,its wrong 4 a gal 2 live wit a guy,not even 4 a single nite not wen dey aint married.so as far as i am concerned a solid relationship cannot b built on such foundation.
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by Bolarge(m): 12:42pm On Aug 28, 2007
Harsh as this may sound but I believe majority're victims simply bcs they choose so to be.
It's really astounding how intellectually endowed a woman can be only to fall in the hands of
some real creep in the name of love.
I'll never forget an incident in which a particular guy (son of a 2nd Republic politician) so battered his new wife (they were barely 6mths) that she had to be rushed down to the hospital on account of the head injuries she'd sustained and guess what?. . . .she lied that she'd fallen down the stairs.
Guess what again? she happens to be a qualified legal practitioner . . . . not a village girl.

I really wish ladies cld enlighten me on this endemic malady. undecided
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by jkpretty(f): 1:40pm On Aug 28, 2007
@ Bolarge

I'm sure majority of women we have out there, while in there relationships know & can tell the capacities of their intended husbands, no matter how short a rel is prior marriage u would have noticed some particular traits in the hubby to be. Now most of these ladies intensionally ignore these things probably for what they stand to gain in a relationship/marriage or they wave it off, taking it as trivial. Now in the long run after marriage these things which she has intentionally waved aside due to selfish reasons or on d note that "he'll change" , Now turns to be d evil in their lives. shocked

Ladies should watch, open their eyes and access d person their going to marry, waving things aside usually end up being detrimental, a woman that has a hubby who flogs her, or sleeps around, or do drugs, has definitely seen little things while courting that gives the guy away, but they stay put, & suffer in silence. undecided

Women should know where to draw d lines
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by yewaman1(m): 8:09pm On Aug 28, 2007
@topic
I beg no vex if [b](two adults) [/b]not kids decide to leave together has
husband and wife, instead of facing what their in school for that is to study,
and it does not work their business.

Why should the guy be blaimed for that the gal is the foolish one, sold herself
cheaplly and she new what she was getting herself into, a case study is Olabisi
Onabanjo University, they pratice co-habitation.

cry I weep for the ladys involved.
Re: Females: The Victims Of Broken Relationships by olanajim(m): 11:16pm On Aug 28, 2007
Bolarge,
you got it right. Ladies does ignore the tell-tale signs of their potential lovers' negative habits. In most cases, they 'hope' the guy would change 'someday'. That is not to say every ladies. Some guys actually hid their bad traits from their ladies at the onset of the relationship. The lady got to know after she had been 'in-love'. I just don't know why they don't walk out then instead of dreaming.

Iice was also right. In fact, her words should be marked as the golden rule. We must always avoid generalisation. A broken relationship does not just spring out of nowhere. Something must have went awry.

@topic
first, I disagree with notion that dating partners must sleep together on campus. The environment, the setting, and the fact that most of such arrangements are illicit make it destined to failure. But, exception applies when the two love birds are heading toward marriage and had established strong bond.There is no general rule. As pointed out, it works for some, and fail with most couples. It is dependent on maturity and understanding. The best precaution is to try and know as much as possible of your partner. Some women want to hear only good side of their man. They want to be 'swept off their feet', such women are at great risk of experiencing heartbreak. Why? Because the guy would keep them in the dark until they have invested much of their heart. It is better to encourage a man tell the truth and adjust than let him brainwash you with lies that may eventually end the affair leaving you with a broken heart.

I also must reject the idea that men are not affected by broken relationship. We tend to forget that at times women orchestrated the event that lead to break up. It is not everytime a woman 'cry' after heartbreak that she is innocent. That men don't often cry is not the justification to brand them as the guilty. Like someone said, it is due to variation in nature of men and women. Women have tender heart an men (?).

It takes two to tango sha!

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