ornicus:



The internet is wonderful.small boys who may not even be dating forming authority on marriage. And some other fools will be looking to then for advice.

Dinho20:
Marriage isn't the end-point of a relationship. It's just a stepping stone, one aspect of a long-term evolution between two people who have, for whatever reason, decided to take a leap of faith and say, 'Well, hey, this is a person who I want to try with for the rest of my life.' Which is not a guarantee of perfection - far from it.

Dinho20:
The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make - not just on your wedding day, but over and over again - and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.

Safitu:
Will you say wanting a man with some cash who can take care of you is unreasonable then?

Dinho20:
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Safitu:
YOU ARE NOT MARRIAGE MATERIAL SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE A PRICK!!!

pansophist:
franchasng how far na?

Good points, just that some of the contributors are hell bent in interpreting your write up in the context you didn't mean, taking it to the extreme instead of its relativity, complexities, and application.

Happy Sunday mate.

ojuu4u:
Ladies used to go for wrong reasons when it comes for marriage and that's why they are abused and disappointed.

A recent story between my wife' friend and options opened for her then.

The lady in question was 30 then, I intervened because my wife used to nag then that when guys slept wt her friend, they used to leave and on many occasions they will not even give her transport fare.
Meanwhile there was particular brother in my church that wanted to get marry then and he wasn't into any serious relationship. I told my wife to inform her friend about my intention of match making her with my church brother which she obliged, the guy is handsome, working in government establishment and also have his own job.
The guy as a xtian, intended to marry this lady without having premarital sex with her (don't forget she complained to my wife, which happen to be her closest friend, that guys used to leave her after sleeping with her)
She travelled down from other state to meet the guy in my apartment, when the two came, I introduced them to each other and advised them I latter left them to discuss one on one, the guy left that day and came back 3rd day for further discussion, to cut story short,
This lady refused to marry my church member just because he met one particular guy online. Even though there were handwritings on the wall that the guy would not marry her
The guy he met online has no job, not to talk of setting business for her, the guy ready to sleep with her immediately and with no plan of get married soon even though the girl in question was 30 yrs old then
Yet the lady blindly and foolishly followed online guy just because they came from same town while my church brother came from other state (that was excuse she gave my wife)


Today at age 32 she is still wandering in the wilderness of singleness,to God be the glory my church brother married with kid

NB she left my house and meet the online guy from different town, the guy impregnated her and denied the pregnancy, she later delivered still born baby

franchasng:
No issue at all, but most times women don't set realistic goals in life. They set unrealistic plans and goals, they live by ferry tales instead of facing reality.

Most men, not all, most men are realistic with life when they want to choose a life partner; they consider realistic qualities but ladies will be blabbing: I want a tall, dark, fair, short, rich, educated, God fearing, faithful, romantic, adventurous, intelligent man who is very endowed down stairs and good in bed, how

You must decide the qualities that matters most to you; is it his financial worth or his looks or his commitment to God or his intelligence or his fidelity to you or what exactly do u want Prioritize them and stop wishing to have everything in one man. You are searching for 5 different types of men in one man, how

A handsome rich guy will most likely not be faithful to you and may not be committed to religious activities.

A highly religious man maybe faithful but will most likely not be romantic and good in bed.

But men always prioritize the qualities they need most in their would be wife; some want good cook and home keeper and they go for it not minding her financial status or her looks or her family or educational background.

Some men want sexy hot working class ladies, they go for it and forget her cooking and home keeping skills.

Ladies should also be realistic with life so they can be more happy and enjoy life, that's my point okay

pansophist:


It is about proportionality, Preferring a financially stable man should not prevent you from making your own money, looking down on hustling guys, turning hostile to a once financially capable man if things go sour, and should not be a leech.

And just as you are conscious about the financial stability of a potential partner, you should be consciously aware of your own contribution into the relationship, showing up as a woman only is not a contribution, a mindset many women carry around shamefully.

windofjustice:

I don't think any responsible and intelligent man with important things to do with his time will spend 6 months chasing a girl.

franchasng:
I so reserve your insults oh abeg before I lose my temper and break bottle on somebody's head

Safitu:
aka How dare a woman have standards, she better just accept any and anything that comes her way. Even if he’s wretched, no purpose and empty, you better accept him like that because he might just be your husband.

Can you go into a brothel and marry an ashewo? Men always accept women for they can offer them NOW, they don’t look into future prospects, so why can’t women do the same? What absolute rubbish.

Amanda4life:



Any person you meet in your life journey treat them well. Nobody knows tomorrow.


People i felt were nobody yesteryears are somebody today.

During morning orientation with my children i will always spill the.................

Safitu:
How can a broke lady look for a rich guy?

Oga tell me

How can a man who is a terrible cook look for a chef?

How can a loose man look for a modest lady?
How can a lukewarm Christian man look for an extreme God fearing lady?
How can an ugly man look for a woman who is beautiful?
How can a street guy look for a homely lady?
How?

Must you possess all the qualities that you look for in someone else? The whole purpose of a relationship is to add purpose and benefits to your life. Who is fooling who? You better stop deceiving yourself, who no like better tin? Shiorrr

Dinho20:
As I grew up and began identifying myself as a feminist, there were plenty of issues that continued to make me question marriage: the father 'giving' the bride away, women taking their husband's last name, the white dress, the vows promising to 'obey' the groom. And that only covers the wedding.

pansophist:
franchasng how far na?

Good points, just that some of the contributors are hell bent in interpreting your write up in the context you didn't mean, taking it to the extreme instead of its relativity, complexities, and application.

Happy Sunday mate.

uncjay:


Guy please disturb yourself no further. I have been reading her comments and following up, I noticed she reads and responds subjectively. she have carve a mental block to reasoning and push for a win as though the discourse was an argument that must be won. discernment eludes her.

so don't bother yourself again.

ojuu4u:



Now she regretted her action, oga. Reality is far far far different from fiction. We should wake up from dream and face reality.

He impregnated her o with no single ante nata care which made the child die during labor, through out pregnancy and after still born the guy and her people didn't't make a single call to console.
Was her decision not completely foolishness of highest order?

ScotMisile:
My bro, you are right. Am an Igbo guy, but i ended up with an Edo girl. All the Igbo girls I ever liked and desired exhibited 99percent of the above.

My bro, this Edo girl never asked me for a dime.. infact she loved me first which was the only thing I wanted. On the first date I wasn't ready but she sponsored with the little amount of money she had and it was fun... My pretty Igbo girls were busy asking me for 10k,6k,80k..etc....and I will be like ...is this love thing all about money or what? According to them, it is to check if I could take care of her in future...And my question is do I look hungry?...No....The money to me is not an issue,but this means am only buying your love with money....that means you don't love me for whom I am,but for what own....this drama lasted for years.... little wonder why most of these girls have the mind to cheat their husbands even after several kids,because they never loved him....they only loved his money...(which is the major determinant of love for today's girls)

Last last Edo girl relaxed with me( mind you,she loved me without sex).... One day she summoned the courage and asked how much I earn monthly... I told her with evidence... She was so surprised saying that I never looked that rich... I smiled.. today she has a beautiful baby boy for me..... And by GOD'S grace... The story has become a beautiful love story between the Edo tribe and the Igbo tribe. .. Did I mention she is also a virgin?? ... .Yes, bro she is...

boiz2men:
is her names sandra

pansophist:


It's not black and white. A lady can have standards, she should go for it, but while having her standards, she should be realistic, level headed and not carry fire for head (in Mayorkun's words).

If you are honest with yourself, you'll acknowledge that the op has a point. There are reasonable standards, as well as an unreasonable one. The op is focusing on the unreasonable one, his write up is clearly worded and cant be misinterpreted out of its true intent unless you're being disingenuous.

MrMou:

Thank you o! I really don't get why people think you must only look for the qualities you have.
That's why I MUST marry a virgin, & always advice men to do same & stop forming woke or liberal, no matter how many holes we've drilled in the past!

kense88:
Ladies hardly mention promiscuity as a reason why they will nor accept a man . Would you love to marry a virgin man ? It's usually money and status, which they themselves can achieve, if they put in the required effort.

Safitu:
So then what is it? Can you kindly explain it to me then? If a woman has standards, that are realistic and substantial to her life, what is the issue?

litetias:
It's a choice you make over and over again. That's it right there!

pocohantas:
I always wonder how men have so much to write and say about women,

With so much certainty, you will think they are women themselves.

Yet in another breathe, they say they don't understand women.

How can you speak so much of something you do not understand? How?

In fact, local woman is confused.

franchasng:
Too Much Shakara

Ladies listen and listen well, I am not saying you should be cheap and easy for any guy to get, but see eh, all those too much shakara is not good, it has made so many fine ladies to miss their true boyfriends and husbands honestly.

I speak as a guy, a guy that have so many male friends from virtually all class of humans, so I know what we discuss and why they ditched some ladies they truly desired.

Anybody that tells you that a guy that truly loves you will never give up until he gets you is a complete liar lying to you!

It is mostly Playboys with lots of women wooing experience that ensure and stay patient chasing one lady that keep proving stubborn until they get her and bed her, most reasonable guys give up even at first trial.


Many guys gave up trying to woo the lady they truly desired and wished to spend their life with just because the lady was forming hard to get and arrogant.

It doesn't pay to be arrogant and unfriendly to guys no matter what unless the guy is rude to you or approached you in a disrespectful manner or arrogantly then you have the whole right to disrespect him in any way you can.

But acting def and dumb to an innocent stranger guy that tries to be your friend through something like "hello, hi" is a very poor attitude that even go along way in discouraging guys from making future attempts at wooing ladies they fancy, hence reason many ladies no longer or rarely get wooed because many guys now see it as stooping so low for ladies below their par in all ramification to belittle them and disrespect them.

Even if you are not in the mood to talk or converse, there are subtle, mature and friendly ways to turn down a guy, but will ladies learn, that I doubt, so continue