I tried so hard to restrain myself from talking about the currently trending subject matter. But I can't just keep mute with the overwhelming ignorance deeply rooted in so many people.

I would do my best to keep this as short as possible.

If you have never being raped, or if you have not helped rape victims recover, you can NEVER know how it feels.

I have personally counselled some rape victims, most of them who opened up to me, have never told a single soul. Why ? they were scared !

Scared of stigma, scared of what the predators would do to them, scared of not trusting anybody again, scared of the unknown.

You have to understand that rape is a very serious case, and the gravity of the seriousness is almost equal for both female and male victims.

It scars the victims so much that some of them never get to experience a normal life.

Some of them turn to sex addicts because of the early exposure to sex (especially the males), some of them even become sexual predators themselves!, some become very withdrawn and hate men so much, some vow never to get married, not only because they find it difficult to trust any man, but also because they are scared of their future kids going through what they went through. This short summary of what they go through is very small compared to what they actually go through.

I see a lot of people trying to be logical with Bukola's story. NEWS FLASH !! a good number of rape victims I have spoken to and helped recover, always sound illogical at first, till I got a deeper understanding of why this was so and what was really going on.

You see, rape is more complex than just a physical act. Most molesters use one or both of the major “tools” used in perpetrating this heinous crime. PHYSICAL STRENGTH AND PHYSIOLOGICAL MANIPULATION.

The second is the most deadly and the one with the most potent power to paralyse its victims and turn them to zombies. It makes the whole story lose logic and sound stupid.

One of the victims I spoke to shared a particular account with me. And she said point blank that she didn’t in anyway try to resist. Ignorant me at the time asked her why she didn’t at least try. She said there was no point, it had happened to her so much that it looked like it was impossible to get out of the situation. There was a Psychological Cage !!! which was the consequence of Psychological manipulation.
Psychological manipulation can be a very powerful tool when used positively, but can also be deadly when used negatively. It defies logic.

A guy who was also molested by his cousin also finally spoke up after 20 years !!, he was barely six when it started. He didn’t have the courage to speak up.

When it comes to rape, logic most times has no place.

And for those seeking and asking for evidence, do you expect someone who is probably trying to fight for her life to pick up her phone and start recording herself going through a nightmare ?.Some rape victims out of shame, fear and unexplainable feelings even terminate and destroy evidences themselves.

Is the Pastor guilty ? I don’t know . Is Bukola lying, I also don’t know.

For those hammering on logic, can you logically analyse why a married woman, who has an obviously happy home, awesome husband, would come out and try to drag somebody in the mud, while also dragging herself, and her entire family in the same mud ?.She is not broke, her husband is not broke. She obviously has more to lose in this situation. Can you bring out the logic in this and exonerate Fatoyinbo ?

The purpose of this is to make you understand that is if you are looking for logic and evidence in a rape case especially the one that took very long for come out, I am sorry, you might not find one.

The sad part of rape in my experience so far is that YOU reading this right now , knows at least one person who has been raped before. Some of them have just not being bold enough to talk to you about it .Your friend, brother, sister, mother, wife, colleague, boss, someone you know has gone through or is currently going through rape. Don’t be an insensitive pile of dogshit .

Again, you would never understand or comprehend or properly be able to logically analyse what it means to be raped until you have experienced it yourself, or counselled someone who has. Please speak wisely only of what you are enlightened about.

For the Christians reading this, understand that even if a man is called by God himself that does not stop him from falling to the weaknesses of his flesh. This is why you should stop giving too much respect and adoration to your pastors. Let the Word of God and the Holy Spirit be your ultimate and final guide, not your pastor !!

For the parents reading this, ruling your home with a iron hand only fuels more silence and distrusts from your kids. If you are not approachable they would not open up to you, learn how to train and correct your kids with love .They are not the cause of your problems and frustrations. They are depending on you to keep them safe.

And for the very strong victims (past or present) reading this, I want you to know that you are stronger than you imagine. If you have overcome the trauma, I am happy for you, if you are still battling this issue, I also want you to understand that there is a solution and this monsters are cowards, they are feebler than they appear, I want you to please find someone you can trust and speak up. Don’t let the cowardice of one or more people drain your life into an abyss. Life is beautiful and there are still nice and awesome people who would not cause you any harm. You are loved and can be loved, much more than you think or imagine.

Donald.

I couldn't have agreed more to all you said.

Thank you for letting them know.

Well written.

this is for the women who were actually "raped", not the ones who lied about being raped

Finally, a post with sense. Thanks, OP.

No one knows if she had a wonderful family or home as u stated or if she was keeping up an appearance... You only knew what the social media allows you to know... If she wasn't sleeping with phones like Donald Trump and twittering daily, u won't know..

That an accuser was not struggling financially does not mean that the person does not have different agenda in mind... You don't know what was in her mind or what she wants to achieve...

A lot of us here have heard and read enough to know that human being cannot totally be trusted... This Internet judgment about rape might be new to Nigerians... a lot of countries has passed this stage... Experiences has taught most nations that people gets sympathetic about rape victims..some have capitalized on that word RAPE to destroy innocent people or to get back at them for reasons best known to them...so they don't go about protesting over an allegations that was not substantiated

FYI, I'm not supporting the pastor or the lady...One of them might be either lying or telling the truth... But there are professionals who can identify who was lying and who was telling the truth... Every one should sit on the fence for now and stop throwing stones unnecessarily until the guilty person is pronounced guilty...