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Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo - Politics - Nairaland

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Abike Dabiri Supports Busola Dakolo On Rape Allegation Against Pastor Fatoyinbo / Reno Omokri Reacts To Busola Dakolo Rape Allegation Against COZA Pastor, Biodun / Bisi Adeleye Fayemi Visits Fayose Ahead Of Next Tuesday's Inauguration (2) (3) (4)

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Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by Islie: 4:52pm On Jul 08
Bisi Fayemi, feminist activist and the wife of Ekiti state governor, Kayode Fayemi has called out people especially women who condemned Busola Dakolo, wife of singer, Timi Dakolo who recently accused the Senior Pastor of the Commonwealth of Zion Assembly COZA, Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo, of raping her when she was 17.

Bisi Fayemi, while narrating her own near-rape experience says she is appalled by the number of women who have come out to shame and condemn Busola for speaking up.

In an article she shared with the press, Mrs. Fayemi says the culture of shaming rape victims and forcing them to silence their pain in Nigeria must stop.

In her opinion, ”any adult who has a sexual relationship with a girl under the age of 18 is committing statutory rape, there is no such thing as consensual sex with a minor”.

Addressing the backlash Busola has received for speaking about the rape incident 20 years after, Mrs Fayemi wrote

”Over and over, supporters of the Pastor and some who claimed neutrality kept asking why Busola decided to speak up twenty years after the rape took place. Why is she speaking out now? Why did she not say something at the time? I could not believe some of the things people were saying, including those who ought to know better.

Busola Dakolo and her husband Timi received unprecedented support for their bravery, the court of public opinion seems to be in their favour. However, I could not help but wonder how we got to where we are, a society blissfully unaware of the war that has been waged consistently on the bodies of women and girls from one generation to the next.

Women don’t talk about what happened to them as girls or as adults because of the implications – shame, stigma, punishment, rejection.

I am even more appalled at the number of women who have added their voices in the shaming of Busola. If you cannot say anything to support another woman in pain, say nothing. Keep quiet. If you are a fan of the accused Pastor, support him if you want, but you don’t have to call his accuser names.

Mrs Fayemi went on to share stories of how she was almost abused when she was a child and how her gut as a child and her mother’s immediate stand saved her from being a victim
When I was ten years old, my mother brought a male teenage relative to live with us to help around the house. His name was Sina. He slept on a mattress on the floor with my younger brother, while I was on the bed with one of my young Aunts. One night, before I fell asleep, I felt my bed covers being pulled. I pulled them back up. It happened again and I did the same thing. The third time, I allowed the covers to be pulled off totally to be sure I was not making a mistake.

I sat up and asked Sina what he was doing. He said ‘nothing’. I stayed awake for most of the night. First thing in the morning, I went to tell my mother. She did not yell at me. She did not scream and call me a liar. By the time I got back from school, Sina was gone and we never saw him again. We never had any male relatives live with us after that.

When I was in secondary school and home for the holidays, I was around thirteen at the time, I told my father I wanted to learn how to swim. There was this young man who lived next door, he used to run errands for my father, we called him Brother Lai. My father asked Brother Lai to take me and my Aunt to Airport Hotel, Ikeja, to teach us how to swim.

My first swimming lesson was my last. Brother Lai held me from behind, teaching me how to kick my feet under the water, while at the same time pressing himself against me and touching me inappropriately. When I asked him why he was doing that, he asked, ‘Can’t I play with you’?
The next day, when he came around for us to go for the next lesson, I refused. I never told my parents what happened, I just mumbled something about not liking water.

I was afraid of causing trouble. I did not want Brother Lai to be sent away on my account, the same way Sina was frog-marched to the motor park by my mother.

I did not want my parents to think I was in some way encouraging these men to be inappropriate towards me. So, I said nothing and just stayed out of Brother Lai’s way. Brother Lai had never given any indication that he was anything other than a respected older brother figure. I was however literally placed in his hands and he saw an opportunity and took advantage of it.

That is what predators do, they wait for opportunities to present themselves and then they abuse trust and innocence. With hindsight, I shudder at the naivety of my trusting parents. I, however, learnt to appreciate my mother’s response to my claims, it could have gone differently. What if my mother had not believed me? What if Brother Lai had come into our house and I had let him in, and he had proceeded to attack me in my own home?

Rape allegation by Busola Dakolo against Pastor Biodun continues to generate reactions from all quarters, even has the embattled stepped down as the senior pastor of COZA.

Busola has, however, reported the case to the police.



https://www.independent.ng/fayemi-shares-rape-experience-blasts-women-shaming-busola-dakolo/

49 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by tsinzu: 4:57pm On Jul 08
Ha!!! Biodun, powerful voices are rising against you

41 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by NOL2dworld(m): 5:03pm On Jul 08
So we are still on this rape issue..

Not just female child.. Male child too are being raped and molested and no one is talking about it..

God save all our children..

17 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by HumanHairLovers(f): 5:03pm On Jul 08


I totally agree with you.

You can't sleep with an underage and call it consensual sex.

It's so wrong.


If you've been there you would understand the emotional pain is more than any physical pain






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4 Likes

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by aleeyus(m): 5:03pm On Jul 08
kl
Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by Uchenaija: 5:03pm On Jul 08
Seriously, rape or attempted rape is not good for nobody.


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8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by realstars: 5:03pm On Jul 08
So you know brother lai before he became a minister?
Le me stop there, my battery is running down.

52 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by JIDECAC: 5:03pm On Jul 08
sad I was thinking it's Governor Fayemi

4 Likes

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by Owaincouncil: 5:05pm On Jul 08
Ok. We don't hear. Next.

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by drey076(m): 5:05pm On Jul 08
n

1 Like

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by doublecross(m): 5:05pm On Jul 08
story!
Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by lamidebaby(f): 5:05pm On Jul 08
tsinzu:
Ha!!! Biodun, powerful voices are rising against you
biodun is a goner. quote me.

14 Likes

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by tomdon(m): 5:06pm On Jul 08
So what of a boy below 18 having sex with a girl below 18? That one is OK by her abi.
What's the difference between 17 & 18 sef?

It should be either 25 when the girl is surely an adult, else 15 years is OK since all these secondary school kids of nowadays are already fvcking themselves

11 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by scoory: 5:06pm On Jul 08
What people don't understand is that justice is not black and white. When Fela was jailed for currency smuggling, there are probably some truth to the allegation but it is not true justice because it was politically motivated.
This Fatoyinbo guy most likely had a sexual relationship with the Bukola girl but he can't admit it because he is a pastor. That does not mean he actually forced himself on her.
He is being blackmailed because he has more to loose. If he was a regular guy like me, I will gladly come out and explain how we enjoyed each other's company.

You all keep watching until these NGO organizations turn nigeria into the rape capital of the world so that they can be swimming in money from funds and donations.
You think all the rape stories trending on Nairaland, blogs and social media recently is a conincidence?
Sometimes I wonder if I'm a genius or most people are just dumb.

62 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by KingAzari: 5:07pm On Jul 08
Near - rape?

I do not take such people serious. She has no experience.

11 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by Starkid3010(m): 5:07pm On Jul 08
Another story
Again abwg we Don tire

I had been molested severally also grin

3 Likes

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by rosy1992(f): 5:07pm On Jul 08
nice write up

2 Likes

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by davillian(m): 5:07pm On Jul 08
, ”any adult who has a sexual relationship with a girl under the age of 18 is committing statutory rape, there is no such thing as consensual sex with a minor”.

Alhaji come and see.

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by Iyajelili(f): 5:08pm On Jul 08
Well said Madam! If victims of rape come out to talk about their experience, many men would divorce their wives.
Like she right said, victims don't speak out because of the stigma that comes with speaking out.

20 Likes

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by IJEYdiamond(f): 5:08pm On Jul 08
You Never know!!!!
Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by KingK0ng: 5:08pm On Jul 08
Eish....You can’t win it all!!
Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by Sterope(f): 5:09pm On Jul 08
Nah, you are the dumb one. You should be appointed president of the dumb ones association.

You have managed to make yourself feel good.

scoory:
What people don't understand is that justice is not black and white. When Fela was jailed for currency smuggling, there are probably some truth to the allegation but it is not true justice because it was politically motivated.
This Fatoyinbo guy most likely had a sexual relationship with the Bukola girl but he can't admit it because he is a pastor. That does not mean he actually forced himself on her.
He is being blackmailed because he has more to loose. If he was a regular guy like me, I will gladly come out and explain how we enjoyed each other's company.

You all keep watching until these NGO organizations turn nigeria into the rape capital of the world so that they can be swimming in money from funds and donations.
You think all the rape stories trending on Nairaland, blogs and social media recently is a conincidence?
Sometimes I wonder if I'm a genius or most people are just dumb.

48 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by BigIyanga: 5:09pm On Jul 08
How many raped poor girls dis she fight b4 now?

1 Like

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by ichidodo(m): 5:09pm On Jul 08
Sexual predators everywhere..Tis an epidemic.God save our female children.

7 Likes

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by enemyofprogress: 5:09pm On Jul 08
This woman fine o,has she got any femail child?

2 Likes

Re: Bisi Fayemi Shares Rape Experience, Blasts Women Shaming Busola Dakolo by Neddstark: 5:10pm On Jul 08
18 is a minor for sex? While 18 year old girls are allowed to carry guns and kill in the army. You are not well madam

7 Likes

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