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What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? - Jobs/Vacancies (5) - Nairaland

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Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by vicysegun: 8:26am On Jul 16, 2019
Fucking Mental Kolomental People | shocked shocked shocked GNLD @ ups Bus stop close to Charley Boy junction.

4 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by ACE1010: 8:26am On Jul 16, 2019
binary007:
During my Nysc in ilorin, I thought it would be nice to work for extra pay so I went to a tutorial and offer to teach the students. Ssce/jamb/ijmb.
He said the pay is #400 per period. I said no wahala.
I was in my full khaki regalia.
Next he said where is my CV?
I said CV for what??
He said they always review CV for any new teacher joining the tutorial.
Review my CV that I prepared for shell/chevron for #400 per hour.
I told him its ridiculous.
To my utmost surprise, he opened one drawer.... Mehn! See CV's like final year project. He gave them to me and told me those are the "Recent" submission.

Mehn and brethren, I went through the CV's and saw a guy, Graduate of Mathematics from Uniben, 2:1. He finished his NYSC 4years before the year I started serving. 4fucking years!!!!! I just handpicked his CV and told him to give this guy the job.

#400 per hour.
That Year, On that day, at that hour, I strolled home jejely.

cheesy cheesy
Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by nnanyereugo(m): 8:27am On Jul 16, 2019
Guys u just made my day...haq haq haq...it's a money laf grin

1 Like

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by utenwuson: 8:27am On Jul 16, 2019
eghuan1:



I was invited for an interview at Kada Cinemas, but didn't go.

Have you ever gone for interview at GT Food?

Those ones do interview every Wednesday that year.

A friend of mine from Uniben called me o. Guy wetin you de do for house, come GT Food na, interview de. Just dress come. Na so I leave my PS wey I de beat my cousin o. Carry all my documents enter bus from oko central straight to ring road. From there to their office at Ekewhan road.

Got there, receptionist give me paper, say make I write my name then join the others who were looking at me like, this one wan come collect our job.

You know that kind of situation when you enter into an interview room and you just know you're over qualified for such positions available because of the type of people present.

That's how they gave us calculus to solve o. Me wey study philosophy for class, wetin concern me with maths? I was just looking at the paper until the invigilator asked everybody to submit.

At that moment, that kolo just enter my head and I went to him with my empty sheet and told the guy, if you can solve two these questions I will work for free for one month.

The guy look me finish say make I wait. Later showed me to their Oga who asked me for my qualifications, my experience and what position did I apply for?

After many talk the guy said they will give me a try but I will be following their bus to do catering services during weddings and obitos ( obito for Benin na short for obituary). And the pay was 18k per month but you'll get free lunch sha.

What turned me off was when he said since there's no ceremonies during the week, I'll be at uniben selling with their van.

Na so I just know say that PS will do me better o.

I've had many funny experiences o. But thank God for today sha
hehehehehehe....... Kill me with laughter
Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by PrinceGallant: 8:31am On Jul 16, 2019
Fully prepared for the interview, I left Ibadan to Abeokuta to attend the job interview. I went to that venue and met some other job applicants. When it was my turn, they asked me just only two questions not related to my field of study. I was asked to introduce myself, after that, they asked if I can tell lies. And I told them frankly that I tell lies.

Going out of the venue, I met some other prospective workers, they blamed me for saying them that I do tell lies. I just ignored them and travelled back to my state.

The following week, I received a call to resume for the job in Lagos. I was elated and.... They only employed me to go and tell people lies. They are agent consultant to Ogun State Government, they collected revenues from small and big companies on behalf of Ministry of Commerce and Industry.

I have to convince the owners, mangers, proprietors of companies and schools benefit of paying tax. We operated in Berger, Mowe, Akute, Alagbole Axis.

Worst, we succeeded in revenue collection but they did not pay us our meagre salary. They would say they have not met the target to remit to Ogun State Government. They are still owing me four months now. Though I had left since 2012.

27 Likes 2 Shares

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by Puregold3(f): 8:32am On Jul 16, 2019
Agbalanze:
After my NYSC, I didnt want to stay at home so i got a job in a factory, there was no vacancy for B.Sc/ Eng so i accepted the SSCE/OND slot which is more or less a hard labour.
Pay was 15k/month but if you miss work a day
, they will minus 1k and if you come late, minus 2h. Work is Monday to saturday and it's 2wks day, 2wks night. Company pays half price your lunch (N50) and you pay half (N50), and monthly tax was 5h meaning your take home is roughly 13k.
There was this month I missed work for 8days starting from 1st and came late 2 times, after calculating what my pay will be if I work the remaining days , I just left and didn't return.


Can't stop laughing

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by abkrgumel(m): 8:33am On Jul 16, 2019
ThothHermes:

My friend had a 50kg ? bag of flour dropped on his neck from a storey by mistake. He complained for days. He is well built so it was nothing serious. Someone else would have landed in the hospital.
grin grin
Do you say from storey building grin grin grin grin grin grin and no compensation
Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by harry2sexy(m): 8:33am On Jul 16, 2019
[b][/b]
Olamsoh:
"What is the most ridiculous job offer you have ever received?"

Applied as an Operations Manager in an iron company. I was offered d job. 3months later, dey sack d gateman & handed d key 2me. I wil be d 1 to opn d gate,wash d toilet,mob d offices,go 2 bank evryday 2 deliver client cheques plus multiple insult frm my boss r.All dis for 40k

Let us hear from you.
Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by eghuan1(m): 8:33am On Jul 16, 2019
Youngstar76:


Eyah I feel bad for the students who might have been expecting u. More like the coming of Christ.

U for honestly make am clear to the headmistress say 10k 2 small 4 ur needs so u no fit take d job.




Don't worry, another corp member would have taken over now.

3 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by mkpurumma090(f): 8:34am On Jul 16, 2019
Is it not wickedness?

2 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by mistacoco2: 8:34am On Jul 16, 2019
Graduate are really suffering in naija oo.

3 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by Nobody: 8:34am On Jul 16, 2019
eni4real:
The pay is not bad tho tongue
But your health is more important cool

The pay is not fantastic bro. The average pay for most attendants and porters in Dubai Airport is AED 4,500. If you use Nigerian level to calculate your income, no be Nigerian level you go take spend am.

34 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by holafloyd(m): 8:37am On Jul 16, 2019
Olamsoh:
"What is the most ridiculous job offer you have ever received?"

Applied as an Operations Manager in an iron company. I was offered d job. 3months later, dey sack d gateman & handed d key 2me. I wil be d 1 to opn d gate,wash d toilet,mob d offices,go 2 bank evryday 2 deliver client cheques plus multiple insult frm my boss r.All dis for 40k

Let us hear from you.
When required to sell up to 200 decoders per month to get ur commission.

5 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by Sheriman(m): 8:38am On Jul 16, 2019
ThothHermes:
I had graduated and was waiting for induction. I needed money for clearance, suit and other stuff like mad so I was willing to do anything. After knocking on half the company doors in Apapa, my friend and I finally got "work" at Oxford factory; makers of the popular Cabin and Digestive biscuits.
Daily wage was 800. The work was evil. Six to six with a one hour break. Trying to keep up with machines for hours on end.
Every section of the factory was designed to kill. Packaging, mixing, stamping, name it. There was no end to it. The machines just wouldn't stop.
Work for 10 people would be assigned to three people.
Thunder fire those Indians and the Nigerians enabling them. Those bastards would still try to pay you less than the useless wage on one flimsy excuse or the other.
It was hell. The revolutionary in me always wanted to fight them. I felt so bad (still do) for the men and women would would still beg to do that dehumanizing work.
There was a limit to the number of workers needed each day so people were turned back when the limit was exceeded.
Come and see people's fathers and mothers begging to be enslaved. People dey suffer sha.
My friend had a 50kg ? bag of flour dropped on his neck from a storey by mistake. He complained for days. He is well built so it was nothing serious. Someone else would have landed in the hospital.

I will put a stop to all forms of slavery when I become Commander-in-Chief because that's what that was; and still is because I'm sure nothing has changed. I even hear it's worse in other factories.
Did I mention there was no limit to the number of biscuits you could consume grin grin
Nigerians are slaves and beggars even in their own Country.

6 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by Nobody: 8:38am On Jul 16, 2019
eni4real:
The pay is not bad tho tongue
But your health is more important cool

The pay is not fantastic bro. The average pay for most attendants and porters at Dubai Airport is AED 4,500/month.
If you use Naija level to calculate your income, no be Naija level you go take spend am o.

4 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by olatunyemi(m): 8:39am On Jul 16, 2019
eghuan1:
As my NYSC was drawing to a close, the headmistress of the school I was serving told me she had talked to the ministry of education supervisors and they have agreed to take me as a staff of the school.

I was like wow!

I asked madam, how much us the salary, she said 10k. I said madam, I mean the pay at the end of the month, she said is 10k not enough for you? That's what they pay us o.

Na do I tell am say make I go show my parents my certificate first. I will come back and start work.

She went to tell the students that I will be coming back to teach them.

They've been waiting for me since 2013.

You're mad o. they are still waiting

1 Like

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by Manuscopy: 8:39am On Jul 16, 2019
It was way back 2011,I worked for an NGO as volunteer for 1 year without salary,the week they will permanent me i leave my duty post to go eat i stayed long as i comeback they come sack me.what d heal

25 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by abkrgumel(m): 8:41am On Jul 16, 2019
Ubdavis:
After secondary school, I got a job with a small company producing gin without nafdac number, and the pay was 600k, yet salaries were owed...
.... And still owing
Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by noni14(m): 8:42am On Jul 16, 2019
profjustine458:

Flour dust is a hazardous substance. ... The dust can irritate the respiratory tract and lead to occupational asthma, also known as baker's asthma. The health problems can develop over 30 years. Flour dust can also cause an explosion.
What is Bakers lung disease?
Flour dust is a hazardous substance; it is a respiratory sensitizer and is known to cause allergic rhinitis and occupational asthma among bakers and millers [21]. Asthma arising from workplace exposure to cereal flour (bakers' asthma) is one of the commonest types of occupational asthma [22], [23
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0422763813001994
thanks for sharing, that was how hybrid feeds wanted to kill me i run for my life oh, after 2 years am still feeling that back pain, oluwa bless my hustle.

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by Ytea(f): 8:47am On Jul 16, 2019
kuuljay:
I wished I can meet you in real life,you funny die
Man you're funny too.

5 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by abkrgumel(m): 8:48am On Jul 16, 2019
Agbalanze:
After my NYSC, I didnt want to stay at home so i got a job in a factory, there was no vacancy for B.Sc/ Eng so i accepted the SSCE/OND slot which is more or less a hard labour.
Pay was 15k/month but if you miss work a day
, they will minus 1k and if you come late, minus 2h. Work is Monday to saturday and it's 2wks day, 2wks night. Company pays half price your lunch (N50) and you pay half (N50), and monthly tax was 5h meaning your take home is roughly 13k.
There was this month I missed work for 8days starting from 1st and came late 2 times, after calculating what my pay will be if I work the remaining days , I just left and didn't return.
grin if you continue, you will be with minus that month sha

6 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by Bankalert(m): 8:48am On Jul 16, 2019
Let me kuku drop my own here.... At one time after secondary school, while I was looking for a job and admission to uni, I got this cleaner job, the pay was 5k in 2009. When I started the first day, it seemed okay... I even ran errands for her after cleaning and got to keep one small change...and was feeling happy... Lol

The second day was something else... I resumed very early and was cleaning when the owner of the school came from nowhere and said while cleaning the class, I should be scrubbing the dirty wall(painted wall) of the class rooms... She even demonstrated it for me... In my mind, I was like on top how much nah... Just because I was desperate for a job?... My previous job paid even twice more... Na so I tell am say I don hear... But nah tomorrow things I go implement am. After close of work at noon, that was the last she heard of me. I am sure she was still waiting for me to come and be scrubbing the walls for her... Smh

Abi is it the one that, someone looked at all my qualifications in Lagos for a teacher job, b.sc first class in a biological science course, plus certifications and priced me 23 k which I still took out of desperation... But to God be the glory, I am in a better place now(FG job abj) , not there yet but soon I will be.... I will refer to this in the nearest future.. Peace!

33 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by namiji2598: 8:49am On Jul 16, 2019
Slay queens should also drop the kind of suffer they pass through different dick grin grin grin

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by Ijadun04(m): 8:53am On Jul 16, 2019
i experienced d same thing
Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by JennyOfOldstones(f): 8:54am On Jul 16, 2019
I'm currently serving. When I was looking for a PPA, I and a friend went to look for a job at a military cantonment based on information we got that the military pays their lawyers well. We got there and we were told to wait to meet with their legal officer since they might have something for us. We were only able to meet with the officer 3 days later, after wasting transport money to come there and after waiting for hours on each of those days. We were told that there was an opening but we shouldn't expect to be paid more than 5k monthly(and my transport fare to the place is almost #800 daily).


Now, I work for a firm with a policy that corpers would be paid just the transport money they need to come to work for the month and nothing more. angry

8 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by gideon1971(m): 8:58am On Jul 16, 2019
Manuscopy:
It was way back 2011,I worked for an NGO as volunteer for 1 year without salary,the week they will permanent me i leave my duty post to go eat i stayed long as i comeback they come sack me.what d heal
lmaooooooo they have been planning for u grin grin

1 Like

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by Nobody: 8:58am On Jul 16, 2019
eghuan1:
As my NYSC was drawing to a close, the headmistress of the school I was serving told me she had talked to the ministry of education supervisors and they have agreed to take me as a staff of the school.

I was like wow!

I asked madam, how much us the salary, she said 10k. I said madam, I mean the pay at the end of the month, she said is 10k not enough for you? That's what they pay us o.

Na do I tell am say make I go show my parents my certificate first. I will come back and start work.

She went to tell the students that I will be coming back to teach them.

They've been waiting for me since 2013.

4 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by dannybrasky(m): 9:00am On Jul 16, 2019
Back then in Bariga after secondary school,did waec and was waiting for result . As a born hustler,I would do any legit job to make sure I have my own little cash at hand. Name it, any hard job,omo boy was always ready lol.

I tried hard but couldn't get something to do until a friend of mine asked if I would work as a sand lifter with basket from the lagoon at bariga. Mehn I was do danm happy like yaay I have finally gotten myself a gig lol,but guys I was wrong as what I saw wasn't what I expected grin

Got to the lagoon down down after king sunny Ade's house,can't remember the name of the street. From the lagoon you can clearly see third mainland bridge.

Oh b4 I forget,being overwhelmed with happiness I didn't bother asking what the pay was like. Fast forward got to the lagoon,saw some giant well chiseled bros them, going into the lagoon with basket to park sand and then bring it to the shores of the lagoon. As a strong omo boy I was still like no shaking I go chop this job for breakfast easy pizzy lol.

Then came the shocker, there was this bros that was suppose to direct me on how to go about it,his name is Egbon Mufu. I asked some of the guys at the shore pls I'm asking for egbon Mufu,and then one pointed me at a direction and said there he is. Egbon Mufu was just coming out of the water with heavy basket of sand looking huge and well chiseled like a Greek god. I watched the way he struggled a bit to find his way to
shore in order for him to dump the sand he got from the lagoon.

He dumped the sand, stood there and was breathing heavily. And then one of the guys called him to inform him I was looking for him. NOTE, egbon Mufu was backing us when he was called upon,reacting to the call egbon couldn't turn his neck he had to turn his whole body cos his neck has already gotten stiff due to the pressure from the heavy basket of sand he carried couple with latic acid burning. In my mind I was like wtf,na so I won take die? Na so my neck go come break grin We concluded on how I would go about the job,he told me to pull of my clothes as I have to work with boxers alone lol. Me wey be say as soon as I saw the neck issue I already made up my mind to salo lol. Na so I tell am say I no wear pant say make I go buy boxers to wear grin He then replied saying eat b4 u come back o,I say no wahala egbon. If I'm to ever see egbon Mufu again that would be today grin I jejely went back home to hug my bed grin grin grin Too young to die grin

135 Likes 18 Shares

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by ImaIma1(f): 9:03am On Jul 16, 2019
I remember after service, I got a job with a start up. My job was to call people everyday to join an "exclusive" club. I didn't even believe in the job.

Even the name of the company was embarrassing that I was ashamed to tell people the name of the company where I worked. Funny enough, he was paying 40k.

I remember the day i resigned 22 April 2010 because it was the day Da Grin died.

14 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by alphaNomega: 9:04am On Jul 16, 2019
eghuan1:
As my NYSC was drawing to a close, the headmistress of the school I was serving told me she had talked to the ministry of education supervisors and they have agreed to take me as a staff of the school.

I was like wow!

I asked madam, how much us the salary, she said 10k. I said madam, I mean the pay at the end of the month, she said is 10k not enough for you? That's what they pay us o.

Na do I tell am say make I go show my parents my certificate first. I will come back and start work.

She went to tell the students that I will be coming back to teach them.

They've been waiting for me since 2013.

You see that's the problem with black people and why we never progress as a society.

The pay for a job is about 80k pm (school teacher), you get someone who is able to do it for 9,800 pm (NYSC) and feel the need to keep this staff only for you to now offer said staff 10k pm!

2 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by Igbodicool(m): 9:07am On Jul 16, 2019
czarina:
There was this very long ASUU strike. Decide to get a job seeing that it wasn't ending soon.

I saw a sign; FACTORY WORKERS NEEDED

Got there and discovered it was GNLD, after plenty talk, they came clean and told us it was actually a sales work and we'd become managers and manageresses (whatever that means) after only three weeks.

So, they offered a free training, and after plenty of motivational speeches, the trekking began.

We almost trekked the whole of Delta state and when we finished, the manager asked me how I enjoyed (God forbid bad thing) my sales experience.

Me: (already angry and with running nose from the trekking) It was great, I'll resume tomorrow

Oga manager called and called, I no just bother pick him call.
Anam achọ ọrụ hụrụ ọrụ gbaa ọsọ.

2 Likes

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