Blastedholligan:
There's this sweet Akata I met on fb, we are getting along well and she's thinking we could spend our lives together. She's a single mother of one, older than me with one year and a medical assistant.

Now the problem is, she doesn't really earn too much and she has accumulated alot of loans that could amount to 50k dols and she wants to acquire another to study at the University for 4years, calculating all these could amount to like 150k dols and I've not even talked about my own cos I'll have to sponsor myself through school.

Another issue is that I don't think I'm really ready to settle down cos I really need to hustle and make money to help my family if I eventually travel before marrying and I intend on doing a course here in Nigeria for Digital Marketing to help me secure a nice job.

My problem now is, I'm scared of marrying someone who has acquired these loans cos Las Las na me go still follow pay wetin I no sabi.

Please, I need a clear guide on what I should do cos I don't wanna be selfish here with her by using her to get to the USA, I'm very willing to let go of her if I have very good reasons to.

Pardon my scattered words.

byrron:



Lots of misinformation being peddled here as facts which are almost Incorrect.

1. Dating and professing love to an akata (black American) on Facebook is just the beginning of the journey since your coming over is still 50/50 and not an automatic entrabce to the US even if she files in for a fiance Visa for you.

Your chances increases if you are both married of which she needs to come over to Nigeria so you can both get married and when she gets back to US and then file in a petition for her spouse (you) to join her which increases the likelihood of you being issued a Visa. The process can even take up to a year that's after filing for your coming over even after getting married.

2. Almost everyone in America is in one form of debt or the other which could be in form of student debt, medical insurance debt, IRS, car notes (known as car loan in nigeria), and credit card debts and most of these debts are inevitable.

Having a student debt isn't a crime and it is her debt and she was honest about it. Getting married to her does not transfer the payment of her student debts on you as it is widely peddled in most comments here.

3. If you are not ready to settle down then don't lead her on.

4. Your concern should be this, do you really love her and are you willing to start playing the role of a step dad once you get married to her? These are questions that you will be asked when you go for your 2 year permanent resident card interview with USCIS.

5. Are you ready to accommodate the orientation of someone from a different society where the man is expected to be at his best behavior at every point in time even when you are being mistreated by the lady?

6. Are you ready to tolerate all her BS for the next 5 years after getting married to her because any misyarning or misbehavior from you may likely result to you ending up in jail and also seeing yourself in muritala Muhammad airport as a depotee.

7. You are more concerned about the financial aspect of the relationship but you haven't even giving a thought to the psychological aspect of it which solely determines what will be your fate.

8. You may be lucky to use her and get to the state's but she can end up making your life more miserable than you ever envisaged and you will end up wishing you never used her nor left Nigeria in the first place.

The US laws are not thing's you toy with especially when it involves a woman talkless of marriage that was built on false premises.

You haven't even started the journey that will take you to the bridge and you are already discussing on how to cross a bridge.

kroger:


Hell yeah.. She will cater for him till he settles down and get a job, once he gets a job gradually she becomes dependent on him. Bro I have been there done that I know how these akata behave. A good friend of mine is in this dilemma..

cjfavour:
Who did you vote for in the last election? Buhari? You're not going anywhere. If you didn't vote at all, you'll not go anywhere too. You lot that refused to vote him out are the cause of the problem we have in this country.

Blastedholligan:
Thanks alot for your input boss. I've known her for a little bit and I can say she's a very nice person, she's a nice person. As regards your point 4, what if I travel with a tourist visa, can I also get married to her there? And possibly work my papers out? I also learnt of this k1 visa, can I get something doing while I hold sure visa?

Blastedholligan:
Thanks alot for your input boss. I've known her for a little bit and I can say she's a very nice person, she's a nice person. As regards your point 4, what if I travel with a tourist visa, can I also get married to her there? And possibly work my papers out? I also learnt of this k1 visa, can I get something doing while I hold sure visa?

Blastedholligan:
There's this sweet Akata I met on fb, we are getting along well and she's thinking we could spend our lives together. She's a single mother of one, older than me with one year and a medical assistant.

Now the problem is, she doesn't really earn too much and she has accumulated alot of loans that could amount to 50k dols and she wants to acquire another to study at the University for 4years, calculating all these could amount to like 150k dols and I've not even talked about my own cos I'll have to sponsor myself through school.

Another issue is that I don't think I'm really ready to settle down cos I really need to hustle and make money to help my family if I eventually travel before marrying and I intend on doing a course here in Nigeria for Digital Marketing to help me secure a nice job.

My problem now is, I'm scared of marrying someone who has acquired these loans cos Las Las na me go still follow pay wetin I no sabi.

Please, I need a clear guide on what I should do cos I don't wanna be selfish here with her by using her to get to the USA, I'm very willing to let go of her if I have very good reasons to.

Pardon my scattered words.

Blastedholligan:
Please, tell me his story abeg and yours too make I learn.

quickly:


In America man na slave of american woman from my uncle experience . The beginning dey sweet but in the long run e dey bitter she go leave/divorce you. 100% guarantee. even after 20years, U go be like Iphone 4 for her eye , she need new upgrade ad she will cook up the whole things. them get sense for this level.
Na ur child go enjoy but u go suffer am in thelong run

After u done make small money. U don enter goverment support 1 chance-Chiild support, spousl support.. community property. you will be left with nothing but ur apartment becuase she go take your house

All these are jail sentences you dont know in the fine print now but after 5years or more . u go get the sense finally

cenaman:
Bros u no dey go anywhere who una wan live this country for if everybody travel go yankee? we die here together.

kroger:


Flesh and blood didnt reveal this to you.. Even the Child will be akatarized lol, child support for 18 solid years. A friend of mine had 3 children with one akata, the guy barely sees $1000 from his pay check cos the child support takes the chunk now he does menial job so he wont pay higher. No matter how educated they are Akata will still be an Akata.

Pascalville:
she is so beautiful. I go really crazy about how she even likes me. Her accent no be here ooo. She clearly told me she want me to get the blue card. No be say i dey reason am. Na she even want me make i get the card. And i Love her too.

kroger:


Hell yeah.. She will cater for him till he settles down and get a job, once he gets a job gradually she becomes dependent on him. Bro I have been there done that I know how these akata behave. A good friend of mine is in this dilemma..

kroger:


Flesh and blood didnt reveal this to you.. Even the Child will be akatarized lol, child support for 18 solid years. A friend of mine had 3 children with one akata, the guy barely sees $1000 from his pay check cos the child support takes the chunk now he does menial job so he wont pay higher. No matter how educated they are Akata will still be an Akata.

Ugosample:


it's like saying NoggerAreans will always be NiggerAreans
Bush, uncivilized; dishonest, diabolic and ignorant regardless of education or exposure

Just stay away from ratchet people
that's all

not all black Americans are ratchet

Beautyaddy:


And who told you it's only Akata's that do such?

Even if you marry an Oyinbo or Naija they will do the same.

It is the laws of the US that allows that a man or woman must pay child support for 18 years if the couple cannot settle their differences to avoid getting a divorce.

Who do you want taking care of the child that only the man and the woman brought to the world?

Beautyaddy:


Hmmm... So has that you friend gotten his green card yet?

You know that most of those akata already know that most of those foreigners they get married too will eventually leave them once they get that green card. So you have to understand that they too feel it's there only opportunity to milk that foreigner dry before the green card is no more a priority for the person they are married too.

kroger:


I said the same thing until a well educated one proved me otherwise again and again. Boss ugo i just confuse for these peeps i swear. The educated ones can can flip at any time. I am done with them for Good.

Babyvet:


Lol, why now ? Because one akata jilted you.

kroger:


Babyvet is here . I dont wanna talk about it again i have warned the OP concerning this particular scenario,If she was a bit stable he can go all out for it.

Ugosample:



why you talking divorce?

are you suggesting he uses her just like that?


When you are on CR1 you still have to be careful

one fvck up and your black ass is back to murtala airport


well except she knows from.day 1 that the parole is just business (that is you let her know upfront wetin dey)

but if it is that regular user mentality that many Nigerians have that the OP wants to practice

he will most likely get Fvcked.

Adamswest378:

But you haven’t answered the question yet

Ugosample:


that is because there is no direct answer to it

If you let her know from day 1 that it's business
And she is the one who leaves you
.At least this one is better


But as for you filing for divorce when your green card is still conditional, it does not look very good..
.that's just it

You have two options (because I know you are asking for yourself )
1) let the thing be genuine and both of you live happily ever after as a family , in good faith, and if anything happens along the line, at least that is in good faith

Or

2)Let her know wetin dey from day 1 (no bullshitting)
that way it's easier
because you still need her to remove the conditions attached to your green card


then she can leave you by herself


this is trumps America
the authorities get red eye

a word is enough for the wise

Adamswest378:

Just asking a general question because like most people say ,what if she want to cash in on him and he want out .........so I just felt like asking what can be his best way out of such a situation if it arises

kroger:


He has his green card but he is stuck with the Child support payment. What is common is foreigners pay them some amount of money some take $5000 even with that some still wont show up for interview. I met Naija guy at a tire shop he told me his akata didnt show up he had to go drag her from her house, her excuse was she got no GAS money, this is after the guy has paid over $7000 on her head with extra expense. Abeg Make we 4get akata matter.

Tallyglobal:
My Bro,
Before u reach their try to play along and explain to her that u collect serious loan before u leave home and they may hook up with ur guarantor.
If reported with default of paying the money it will be serious on u. Keep explaining before u leaving and call very huge amount to her, because they are bastardy over their.
Keep low-key and associates with people that can help Cos she maybe ur stepping stone.

Beautyaddy:


Huh?...what do you mean with the highlighted statement?

Isn't the child his?

Even if he has gotten wanted he wanted from the Akata, the child that came out of the marriage still needs to be taken care of by both parents even after breakoff or divorce.

kroger:


I Told him i dont believe those kids are his cos no slight resemblance, i advised he goes for a DNA test let him not father another Mans child. Its very common among these folks. (Triplet all Girls)