I would say I ve got two step mom but could have had more.The first I remember stepped in before I clocked ten.My mom had been sent packing before then but my fire-brand, no nonsense sister will not let her have peace in the house.Finally she packed and left.A second one, if I am right tried to step in several years later.By that time I was in my late teens and  had a little fire in me too which my sister gave to me before she left home.Anyway I did not give her peace any she fears me a lot.More than once I ve overheard her telling my dad that she is affraid for her life.I was her living nightmare .She finally left too.

yes o. we never really stayed together. I think shes a wonderful person and i dont think i have issues with her.

yes i have, but never wish my worst enemy. she pretend to love and care but she's is a wolf in sheep cloth. God will have mercy

after all these horror stories we still have men wanting to marry more than one wife in this day and age?

wetin you no mean   we will develop means of having a more cordial rlshp between step mums and step daughters. after all it is the fundamental human right of everyman to pursue happiness and step mum/daughter rivalry is not enough reason to deny man his due happiness.

anyway, i have a step mum. lost my mum in the 90s and Dad had to survive. (or would you rather I became an orphan?)
she's ok though. she lost her husband too so it blended between her and my Dad. but she had no child. (i wish she had a daughter though )

Teddy face

Teddy eyes

all this kain names sef

What of

Teddy leg

Teddy nose

I have step mums but my mum is the first wife besides I don't mingle with the "step mums". They give me my respect as I keep them at arms length. They're all thieves anyway.

the Africa's people think that all the stepmum all bad why would you mum live you with your dad in the first place? my baby is 9month old and i have stepkids who love me and i love they too,  there are not living with us they visit all the time!  they all welcome whenever they are around , i am happy to have they as stepkids and they are happy to have me as stepmum we have no problem , not all stepmum are bad alway  know thi s .

Hello, replying my Sister who said she was 2mounths old when her parents broke up. My dear i got the same story to tel and even more horrible experience to tell. I was 2 mounths old when my mother (of 6 children) decided that my father was not good enough and then moved to Kano before trasfering to Italy where she resides. while she was gone, my step mon walked into my father's houes with pride and dinity that every woman should have, infact she was every man's dream, she was the Sweet pudding you will never spit out. Little did my father know that the good attribute came with a huge twist. After few years my step mom let the devilish devil out of her, we the other childred became the slaves, of the house when she started bearing childred, frustrated my father's beat us messilessly  mark our bodies, break our heads, pour us hot water, pot of soup, even tell us to hold meat for her and then cut us with knife and say she taught it was meat. When my father asked us what happen to our body she would say we stole meat from the pot.(we only get good beaten when my father is out, she never raise her hands on her childred). Sometimes we even run away from the house, go missing for like days, sometimes the police or school teachers bring us back home. later that day we get first class, beaten in the highest order. My step mom was a cheat, my father beat her up serveral times and send her parking,and then her family interferes and its all sorted for them and continuation of the beaten for us. this has made us hate ourselves because we sometimes lie against ourselves inorder to divert the beaten from oneself to next person. I will be 30 in few mounths time and have only seen my mother twice in my whole life. she is not keen on meeting me or the others and am not either. serveral times family meeting is been called to try and resolve the differences beween us, we keep refaring to the bad old days, Now our father is late, we are virtually on ur own. We are not united but my step siblings are very united and do not want to have anything to do with us, my mother is re married, we don't even know him that is how painful life can be for us, its a past that lives in us that only Christ can sort us out. I just can't imagin my childred going through what i've through or coming from where i've been. I keep praying for long life and prosperity, so that i will be there for them until they are well capable deciding for themselves, their family, communities and their nation at large. [quote][/quote](

yes but i no dey eat her food. . . .i no want make i catch the love concussion weh she don cook for our poppa make meself no com dey fall inlove for one old woman. . . .lai lai no be me. . . . . ^{mo bo lowo won. . . .mo ti gba igi relay}

®~^Sly^~®:

yes but i no dey eat her food. . . .i no want make i catch the love concussion weh she don cook for our poppa make meself no com dey fall inlove for one old woman. . . .lai lai no be me. . . . . ^{mo bo lowo won. . . .mo ti gba igi relay}

second that! my own na 4 step mama i get, my papa na player because him be dey find boy pikin,na the boy pikin wen him dey find make my mama die, na me be the last pikin.

I read this entire thread,and i realize now that i'm extremely lucky.I'v had a step-mum for almost 6 years now with no horror stories at all.Shez a wonderful person,except for her occasional moments of anger,and to top it,shez a darn good cook!

I am a step mum and my view is: when a woman truly loves a man she will do anything to please him and his child(ren). Women have big hearts. The problem is that a lot of children have this view of "the evil stepmother" and no matter how good and genuine the step mum is, they will always treat her like "the evil stepmother". I am still young and very new at this stepmother business, but already I can see that whatever I do for my stepdaughter will never be good enough to gain her love and trust. So I'm getting to a point where I won't put in any more effort, to avoid being hurt further. Maybe that's the reason step mums seem like they don't care, they've tried and given up,

Malaika, u may be right, but the question that comes up often is, How did you come into that family? is your step daughter's mother dead? i.e did she died b4 u came into that family? or you came to drive her away, now the reason for my question is that if u were the cause of the seperation bw the dad and mum, then dont ever expect her to be happy with you, except after sometime, she could decide to forgive and start a cordial relationship with u.

Hello nairalanders,

I have read thru all the posts and sympathise with all those that had horrible stories because i was a victim and to some extent still affects me till today. However I am overcoming this due to the love of Christ in my life. Sometimes when i remember it takes the Grace of God to forget. I have also made up my mind that my children will never go thru what I went thru because I want them to be happy emotionally and psychologically stable and most of all I want them to put God first in everything they do in life.

B4 i start my story let me say this based on my experience: I pray that all singles yet to marry get married only once and marry the spouse God ordained for them & I pray they will stick together all the days of their lives by God's Grace. THIS PRAYER IS OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE because once this prayer is answered the issue of having a step mum will not arise.

Do not get me wrong, even sticking to one's marriage still comes with its attendant problems & it is only via God's Grace love and Wisdom that sees or will see so many couples through (for those not married yet). God must be in that marriage for it to work. It is not by our power but by his Grace mercy and Love.

When Parent's quarrel more times than not they ignore or are ignorant or do not bother about the effects broken marriages have on the children most especially when step mothers come in. And in a lot of cases the parents die years later leaving the children in problems. It takes the Grace of God for those children to get back on the right footing.

Some of the children we see in cults are rooted in broken families. Such children saw very little or no love while growing up and felt they had no identity or root. Overtime they became very vulnerable and the slightest exposure to wrong company such as cults attracted them because they believed they could find some identity , security and love in such places. Unfortunately for them they end up worse off in the long run. However thank God for God, it is not over until its over. HE God is the only one that sees us through what ever challenges we face in life.


Now in my case, my mother died when I was 10 years old. The following year my father married another woman who also had kids. They all moved into our house. This woman was so wicked that she called me one day at that tender age to tell me my days were numbered on earth. I could not tell my father because he never believed anything I said as it concerned her. There was a day my step mum put broken bits of glass in my food when i was about 12 years old. It was not visible in the food because It was beans and the glass was tucked deep inside the food. However, as God would have it the first scoop i took with my spoon exposed the glass immediately. I kept quiet I could not tell my dad.

She did so many other things which I can not list here for the sake of time and space. A few years later my father seperated from her and married someone else. This new woman started to starve me with my father's knowledge. i was not giving food for months. It was at this point I realised she had jinxed my father. It was so bad that my father's driver helped me out of my hunger. He the driver was feeding me from his salary in the boys quarters for months. This new woman came into the house with her sisters, auntys family etc. In fact we the kids had no say. I was the youngest and the only one around amongst the children. After a few years this second woman was driven out of the house to my relief. However, my relief was short lived because my first step mum and my dad settled the differences b/w them and b4 I could say Jack Robinson she was back and this time in full force to revenge. She started given me stale food of a few days old and doing so many other things. By the time I got to University to get money for school became a problem. She would delay my getting money for sometimes up to a month and make me miss classes. However she always gave her own kids money immediately they requested for it. She also kept my fathers friends away from my father. It was a dark empty house. It was traumatic for me. I had developed to hate and had so many things bottled up in me. I found it difficult to show love when I was shown very little or no love. And I started to keep to myself and i started dwelling on my early dark years and it was starting to kill me as a person.

A few years after my first step mother came back my father died under mysterious circumstances and it is believed she had a lot to do with it. After his death a lot of fetish things were found in her possession with my fathers name on it. If she had anything to do with his death, that is between her and her God. I leave it to God.

I have not seen her since my father died many years ago. However she is very ill and has been battling with an ailment in the last few years.

Today I have given my life to Christ and realise life is vanity. Today I have forgiven her so that I will not block my own blessings from God and most of all, God demands we forgive those that have offended us since HE God forgives us when we sin, who are we not to do same. I will say it was difficult to forgive but I had to do it.

In summary I believe the number one lesson we victims of bad step mothers should learn is to make sure that the trauma we went through does not repeat itself in the lives of our children. Both Parents need to show love continuously to the kids so that may remain emotionally and psychologically stable and most of all make sure they o put God first in all they do in life.

The second thing victims of bad step mums must do is to forgive such step mums no matter how difficult it may be because God says we must forgive. I pray God will give all victims the Grace to forgive them.

Everyone is talking about stepmothers. How about aunties? I grew up with two different aunties because my dad and mom parted ways even before I was born (thanks to one of the aunties). On top of that, I have a stepmother whom I don't live with.

With both aunties, my life was a rollercoaster of beatings, intimidation, starvation and fear. If I shut a door and it made too much noise, I got the beating of my life. If I laughed too loud I was given a stern warning at best and beaten at worst. My best days were days spent in boarding school and when everyone was looking forward to midterm break, I was dreading it.

Things like milo, peak, cornflakes were locked up and even measured so that if I touched them, it would show. I have been told the most hurtful words that anyone can imagine, right from an early age. I have been referred to as "it" or "thing"; made to feel absolutely useless and worthless. Many times, I have been made to go without food as punishment for the most minor infraction. I lived in a house, not a home. I never had a home.

Look, let's not even go into the full details, otherwise, we will remain here for ever. Just know that not only step moms can be hell. You aunties, your own blood and flesh, can be same or worse. Today, I am more than 30, but still hear echoes of the past. I always expect a dirty slap from nowhere and still hear those haunting voices. I am not in any hurry to get married at all. I will rather remain a bachelor for life than risk marrying the wrong person and have my kids go through what I did. The annoying thing is that, no one ever suspected (apart from one or two people who went through same fate). No one, least of all my dad, will believe me. I am still praying for grace to forgive.

Thank God, I am on my own now, abroad and doing fine. I loath calling "Home" as that voice just brings bad memories to me.

I have a step-mum. My mumis the 1st wife and she came when my Dad was really made. She once was responsible for my Dad and Mum parting ways. She boasted and was reported to have said She was responsible for the seperation between my Dad and Mum and that she was only buying time to finish me and my 2 other siblings. But God is greater than anyman, HE proved himself and somehow my Mum and Dad made up. But before then, We saw hell and she would have finished us really but thanks to my paternal aunt and uncles who were sympathetic and stood as opposition. They found jaz on her with my father's name written on it.

Since my parents made-up, She had gone full blown metabolic. Though she never quarrel with my mum openly (reason many observers praise our Dad for peace despite 2 wives), we fight and are still fighting many spiritual battles. She has also descended on my Dad and made him a robot for failing to send my mum away. Unfortunately, my Father thinks she's the best. We live under the same roof but my father has abandoned us to our mother. He will spend 80% of his earnings on the other children and will not care how we survive on our part. I cannot even be sure of having an inheritance in my father as we have reliably gathered that he has willed almost all his assets to this woman's children. The story is so long and pathetic!

But God is so good, we are doing fine with little support from our mum but unfortunately my other siblings on whom my Dad had invested almost all his fortunes are gettting worse; cultism, pre-mature pregnancy etc. They are sources of unrest for both step-mum and dad right now. I really pithy them.

The lessons here is to strife hard to free our children of this experience. To me, that is one of the best gifts you can give them. It is not really easy to love my step-mum but God has been helping me and my siblings to cope fine with her.

It's one of those things. May God help us all.

My mum and dad broke up and he took a new wife. she was wicked to the core. But now i and my sister are adults and she can do nothing now but look.[color=#006600][/color]

i hv a step mum, and d woman is a witch. u may be asking, how did i know dat? thou my mum and my dad are still 2gether, bt, they are not living 2gether, because of d power dat d woman is using, she is d 1 dat cause everytin. thou she is the 1st wife and she had just only1 son (she had use all her remaining one 2 pay her vows dat she made with her colleagues). we are living 2gether b/4, bt, living with her is lk, hell on earth. if u see her, u 2 u will know dat dis one is a witch, bt my prayer 4 her is dat she should repent and if she fail 2 do so, she will soon confess all her evil deeds. Just let mi add dis one to it (advise) please guys don't marry more dan one wife, pls i beg u.

read this thread from beginning to end. May God have mercy!

Absolutely not but. . . . . . . . ,

going through all these experiences, some good, some horrific, I am grateful to God that I have both parents happily married.

i do have one, my God! i hate her. She's the worst thing on Earth

had 4 step mums while growing up and to compound the whole problem lost my mum at a young age,so there were loads of verbal abuse going on and underground stuffs which my dad didnt know about,cause of the kind of person my dad was he didnt leave room for all the whole scenario where wives fight each other but psychologically it was not a good experience grown up but since he sent everyone abroad for uni education and we r all in diffrent universities things had been a lot better but on the whole ill say it wasnt a very good experience,having said that i had a good n nice step mum,and a bad one as well so u can imagine the politics that went on these days,one step mums and her junior brothers/sisters plotting and the other one doing same as well and everyone tryn to suck up to dad,pl going behind and tryna make the other children look bad est, not a good experience on the whole

Having a step mother is not always the best but at times
they bring out the best in you by fire by force.

Stepmum! hmmmm!!! I have a step mum when my mum died and the atmosphere was not all that conducive for us the children then. we live like cat and dog. there was an incident one day wen i came back from school and my step mum had to make me prepare eba that i will eat. some thing i have never done before. with tears in my eyes as she forced me to prepare the eba, a spirit within me said, "why did i allow this woman to make you go through this activity, don't she know you are a man and men don't go to the kitchen? use that eba stick on her jare who does she think she is? eba lecturer?

That was the first time i was taught how to prepare eba by my step mum and since then, any woman wey get ten head say she no go cook for me, she dey wast her time. i go tell am say before i marry her, stove, kero, match box, plate dey my house before she come join me.no body dey use am na me dey use am.

my relationship with my step mum today is like something i really cannot explain. presently now we are not together but there is no day that i will not go and see her and if she did not see me for so long like two weeks, she will ask someone to call me to see why she did not hear from me?

i can say she takes the place of my real mum even though the two of them don't agree when she was alive but that their headache, they will sort them selves out when they meet in the other life.

So, it not all step mums are that devilish as per say. sometimes the kids themselves are more devilish than step mums. just think about it.

growing up with a stepmother is usually a very nasty experience!!! the pain is usually unspoken, and buried deep within the minds of those who experience it, it makes u tough and independent early in life, but also makes u vulnerable, and unloved sometimes.

parents should take their children into cosideration before taking some decisions, because the long term effects run very deep.

i know this because i have a step mom also

no i dont have one

hmmm,  I wonder why stepmoms in Nigeria generally seem to be rather harsh on the stepkids, with relatively few exceptions. Must be the crabs in a barrel analogy.

I doubt if most stepmothers overseas would be as harsh to their stepfamilies. And most countries in the western world have a far higher divorce rate than Nigeria. So I'd guess there are more children raised with stepparents overseas than at home. But comparatively fewer instances of mistreatment and malice.  It might be the economy, maybe.


any instances of stepfathers? I dont have any but I know a few people who were raised by their stepdads.

No, I don't have step mom. My mom is real birth mom!

well I had one, but we were nevr too close to call for any mal treatment, I dont even know where she is, since it was money she came to look for and now my dad is retired I guess she moved on, now my parent are back together at old age, but i missed growing up with my dad and mum under d same roof. I thank God for my parent, for my mum's patience and true love for our dad, i guess he can see that now and for my dad the wisdom to be fair to children. throughtout those period of separation he kept his obligation to both parties as in finance such that we never lacked.

since i was the youngest of my mother's children i spent most of my childhood with her, but my older siblings had a taste of the step mum brohaha.

the conclusion is that no matter what the effect tells in the children and we should try to protect our offspring from goin through such. but thank God for Christ.

The problem with step mothers is jealousy, ask the ladies you know, if they will like to be a second wife or allow her hussy to have a second wife, the answer is NO. The children from such relationships bear the brunt. Lust and greed are the steps to polygamy. The man do lust after the young ladies while greed of want draw the females to their so call second place in any relationship. BE WISE LADIES FOR THE SAKE OF THE UNBORN CHILD YOU WILL BRING INTO THAT FAMILY. THE CHILD WILL SUFFER AND MAY NOT FORGIVE YOU FOR BRINGING HIM/HER INTO SUCH HOME.

I am happy to say I no get wicked step mom.