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Stats: 2,317,804 members, 5,109,143 topics. Date: Thursday, 22 August 2019 at 06:11 AM
|What Is Your Decision About Marriage? by Allsingles(m): 6:34pm On Aug 14|
“So, how do we know if we should get married?”
That is a question I hear often. In general, what you are looking for is:
Confidence in your relationship
Conviction that you are willing to give your life away in the loving service of the other (commitment)
Trust that your partner is willing to do the same for you
And, if children are involved, an educated, objective sense that they are reasonably open to your union and new family, and that their emotional, psychological, and spiritual health will be well served by your marriage
If you are lacking confidence, give full consideration as to why and don’t get engaged until your confidence rises. When your confidence is high, make a decision for marriage; until then, keep dating and resolve your concerns or gracefully bow out of the relationship if you can’t.
To experience love and intimacy in marriage, we must do the hard work of confronting and sacrificing our selfishness. Commitment creates a climate where both persons can work together on putting off their selfishness. Without this permanence most people won’t subject themselves to the process of maturation and discipleship that marriage brings; instead they wiggle out when the going gets tough.
Children are Open and Ready.
If one or both of you already has children (of any age), take time to check in with the kids about the possibility of having a stepfamily. It takes children longer to adjust to a parent’s marriage than it does a parental divorce, so you don’t want to run over them with a hasty decision. Don’t marry someone unless you are convinced they will bring emotional, spiritual, psychological, and relational blessings to your children.
(Suggestion: complete the 7-day plan Dating and the Single Parent also available on YouVersion.)
Yeah, But How Do I Know?
Now, having said all that, let me state the obvious: even if your confidence and commitment is high, you still may not know beyond a shadow of doubt that you should get married. At some level when you get right down to it, marriage is a leap of faith. There are no guarantees. The decision then is yours: Are you willing to take the leap?
Rate your current level of confidence in your relationship on a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being the highest).
Rate your level of commitment.
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