Whatever you decide to do, don't allow you or anyone to cage that boy. Only other suggestion apart from those above I can think of is to look for someone who is in his 30s or 40s and had this same behavior to mentor him. I envy your son, he is setting his own rules and living by them.

You partially described me when I was little .
Its sometimes common with smart kids .
We are very imaginative that we get lost in our own imagination and forget to do basic things sometimes, and oo we are very playful too.
But no one understands.
Please be patient with him.
As long as he is not dull.

I am married now, and much more organized and disciplined. But I chop beating no be small , let me tell you the truth, those beatings made me more stubborn, and I didnt care, I was just scared.I wanted to do things on my own terms, not anyones.
People like us(especially as kids) do things because we love them, not because we have to do them, so make him love those things, those chores, brushing his teeth, make it fun for him.

Just keep reminding him and correct him with love, he would adjust.
Put him in situations that would force him to be independent, it would help him adjust.

I was just going through my primary and junior secondary school results . The teachers remarks were hilarious

You see things like "Keep it up, Very very brilliant but too playful", "Very brilliant but sometimes forgetful", "Very brilliant but easily gets distracted"

Even my dad then, never stopped hounding me about how much I "lose focus and easily get carried away"

Focus on his strengths while you help him work on his weaknesses.Bond with him very well, and please NEVER EVER compare him with anyone, it makes it worse
jess2019
He would adjust with time

Sending him to Naija is like a suicide mission

jess2019:


Although it's not allowed here but I've moved from smacking to beating now but no change in his behaviour. I fear this boy will put me into trouble one day or grow up to hate me. I'm thinking of sending him to naija for one school semester but hubby refused.

Don't stress yourself he will be fine. Send him to Naija to stay with his grandmother for just a year. Naija slap will return his brain to factory settings.

olabrinks:
That’s for a public school. If she sends him to a nice private school, it may not be too costly it will change his life forever. He will be disciplined in the most civil way, and he will be influenced by his well behaved peers. It will even bring out his talents, because most private schools have extra curriculum activities. He might win awards, compete in high places, actually there’s normally favouritism towards children who are born abroad. They don’t really care about black children here in the western world, he will be fine.

Madam you are wise but why did you bring this issue here when you know what to do already?

Donald3d:

You partially described me when I was little .
Its sometimes common with smart kids .
We are very imaginative that we get lost in our own imagination and forget to do basic things sometimes, and oo we are very playful too.
But no one understands.
Please be patient with him.
As long as he is not dull.

I am married now, and much more organized and disciplined. But I chop beating no be small , let me tell you the truth, those beatings made me more stubborn, and I didnt care, I was just scared.I wanted to do things on my own terms, not anyones.
People like us(especially as kids) do things because we love them, not because we have to do them, so make him love those things, those chores, brushing his teeth, make it fun for him.

Just keep reminding him and correct him with love, he would adjust.
Put him in situations that would force him to be independent, it would help him adjust.

I was just going through my primary and junior secondary school results . The teachers remarks were hilarious

You see things like "Keep it up, Very very brilliant but too playful", "Very brilliant but sometimes forgetful", "Very brilliant but easily gets distracted"

Even my dad then, never stopped hounding me about how much I "lose focus and easily get carried away"

Focus on his strengths while you help him work on his weaknesses.Bond with him very well, and please NEVER EVER compare him with anyone, it makes it worse
jess2019
He would adjust with time

Sending him to Naija is like a suicide mission

Being described as playful, forgetful, distracted isn't something a mother in this era will appreciate. During your time, parents were not as knowledgeable as they are now, I know someone who spent years suffering from depression and self harm but he was dismissed by his parent and today he's not able to achieve anything because his problem wasn't given proper attention as a teenager. Let her handle the boy properly don't tell her to ignore him, if he learns to be organized and look after himself now he will be better in future.



,

AntiWailer:
Leave him alone.


Some crazy stuffs comes with being brilliant and smart.

He will out grow them with time.

You have to keep correcting him in a balanced approach so he will not grow resistance against you.

Beating does not really help in some instances. At times when he is so sure you were going to flog him, call him and explain why he should do the right thing.

Most improtantly, please pray for him.

That's wat I thought about my son, when he was 10. Now he is 14 and still the same. I fear he is even getting worse. Sh1t's driving me bonkers

jess2019:


He used to play piano with his sister but they never practice their homework and I'm a novice in piano so couldn't help them. I stopped them when they couldn't impress me. Might try again but they are so busy with other extracurricular activities.

Buy the book for them .. And let them read it .. They don't have to impress you .. You can't learn keyboard in a day or a month sef

It may not have been diagnosed yet but that your kid has a kind of learning development challenge is screaming at me.

Memory, focus, distractedness, forgetfulness are all key pointers to something going on.

That a child is brilliant and talented can mask these things or make parents overlook them.

Your child needs understanding, unconditional love, support and a solution to his challenge not more pain or fear mongering from you. Verbal abuse, beating or withdrawing loving behaviour might mess your child up.

Keep searching for different medical opinions till you find a doctor that understands his challenge and can help your boy.

Meantime, accept and love your boy to bits. Never stop loving him and helping him believe in and have confidence in himself.

Don't add to his problem. Be a solution.

babylonjah:
..... Hmmm some mothers do have them...

My mom says this a lot, this is the first time I have seen someone else say it..

Sounds like ADHD,the child should get assessed.
Get reports from school about his behaviour and ask to be referred for ADHD assessment.

If in Nigeria,go to paediatric psychiatrist or a psychiatrist for assessment.


Op read up about it and see if it fits your child then push till you get referred .

Children like this are not being naughty intentionally,they struggle with short attention span,lack of focus,easy distractibility,day dreaming,excess energy with brains whizzing so fast.

It's not a their fault,of course there are behavioural interventions but most effective if combined with medication assuming it is ADHD.

jess2019:


He is very athletic and good in all sports. Plays basketball, soccer, swimming and athletic. He won two consecutive cross country and broke the state record in 300m race. High scorer in his basketball team; plays for two clubs.

I'm even thinking this behaviour
started since he became too active in so many sports. Thinking I should stop him �

Madam, the world is changing please help this boy, you said he is very athletic, why not help him on that path? Just make sure he can read and write, and you instil some words of God into his life.
A doctor told you he is 18 months ahead of his level, that's an indication that the boy is special, and he has to be treated specially. He might be deliberately acting that way because he's doing what he doesn't love, to me it looks like you're forcing school on him, because everything you've said revolved round school.
Reduce the time he spends on school gibberish, and let him spend more time on those things he loves, like that athleticism, and you turn on him like, if he doesn't brush his teeth or keep his room clean, no basketball game or no swimming for him, and you will see how he will change. He's trying to be forgetful when it comes to school because he has no passion for it.
Sports is bringing a lot of money now, and that doesn't stop him from schooling, you're evening in a better environment that allows one to combine education and sport.
Phil foden of Manchester City was still a college boy when he broke through Manchester City senior team, and he was being paid £90k per week, I'm sure a fresh medical or engineering graduate can't earn up to that.
Love this boy, and pray for him, and support him at this early stage, because if you force your way on him, and kill his passion, he might hate you forever.
I pray to God to give me smart kids and also help you train this boy.

OMG at that young age, the boy is also setting and breaking records.

God please I want smart kids, and shine your light on them, and help me see what's best for them.

Let him be, he know better

Send him to naija without any further delay. My niece was in almost the same situation as ur boy, but d mum having made some consultation, send her to Nigeria, enrolled her in Nigeria Air force Comprehensive. She has just written her Junior waec. I can't proudly say that she's in d best shape of behavior now: proactive, attentive, curious, neat and prayer-conscious. Nigeria may not be good but a child can still raised in a better than abroad.

Madam,there is nothing wrong with your boy.send him to Nigeria and to a Catholic missionary school,not just any Catholic school,i mean a no nonsense Catholic missionary school.i happen to attend a Catholic missionary secondary school in the mid 90's and early 2000 with some folks similar to your boy sent from UK and US by there parents... Madam believe me those boys and girls are doing well in there various fields eg ugo okeke @the age of 32 is a professor in organic chemistry in US,Bobby is today a neurologist.just to mention a few .send him to Marist comprehensive academy uturu abia state. A Catholic missionary school run by Marist brothers. Am sure you can afford it.good luck

Mizwisdom:


Being described as playful, forgetful, distracted isn't something a mother in this era will appreciate. During your time, parents were not as knowledgeable as they are now, I know someone who spent years suffering from depression and self harm but he was dismissed by his parent and today he's not able to achieve anything because his problem wasn't given proper attention as a teenager. Let her handle the boy properly don't tell her to ignore him, if he learns to be organized and look after himself now he will be better in future.



,

I never said she should ignore him, kindly check, I made this statement towards the end :

Focus on his strengths while you help him work on his weaknesses.Bond with him very well, and please NEVER EVER compare him with anyone, it makes it worse

She has also taken him to the hospital and doctor said he is perfectly fine , the doctor also added that he is very smart .
OP also stated that he is excelling in every other thing in life, include sports, he is even breaking records !!
I think the boy is fine, he is just being a child, a smart child.
She just has to nurture him, and do what I emboldened above, which I also stated in my first post

elektra:

My mom says this a lot, this is the first time I have seen someone else say it..

I think it was the comedy series of Frank Spencer that made this statement popular.

Get a second and third opinion regarding his mental state...A child that can't get himself ready for school at 9 may have a problem..especially abroad where kids are even more independent.

be sure that you've ruled all that out.

Donald3d:


I never said she should ignore him, kindly check, I made this statement towards the end :

Focus on his strengths while you help him work on his weaknesses.Bond with him very well, and please NEVER EVER compare him with anyone, it makes it worse

She has also taken him to the hospital and doctor said he is perfectly fine , the doctor also added that he is very smart .
OP also stated that he is excelling in every other thing in life, include sports, he is even breaking records !!
I think the boy is fine, he is just being a child, a smart child.
She just has to nurture him, and do what I emboldened above, which I also stated in my first post

I don't think forgetting to brush everyday except reminded is part of just being a child. He's 9...she should get a 2nd and third opinion to rule developmental issues out.

But me i don't support shipping him off to Nigeria she.

If he behaves that way but smart academically, You raising an Einstein. A pure genius. Genius are non-conformist so there you have one.

DavidEsq:

That's wat I thought about my son, when he was 10. Now he is 14 and still the same. I fear he is even getting worse. Sh1t's driving me bonkers

What is your long term plan David?

CanadianNaija:


I don't think forgetting to brush everyday except reminded is part of just being a child. He's 9...she should get a 2nd and third opinion to rule developmental issues out.

But me i don't support shipping him off to Nigeria she.

I am with you on getting a second and third opinion

I remember being sent to a missionary boarding sec school by my mum when I started misbehaving. That rev sister (God bless her) dealt with all the people wey no do hear...if you see all us now well behaved and doing well too. Just send him to a mission school, you will be ask "is this my son" ;DI remember being sent to a missionary boarding sec school by my mum when I started misbehaving. That rev sister (God bless her) dealt with all the people wey no do hear...if you see all us now well behaved and doing well too. Just send him to a mission school, you will be ask "is this my son"

Catholic mission to the rescue. But wait till he enters high school and can defend himself

He is super bored... take him to naija like sm1 suggested.

Best thing my mum did for me.

no dont stop his shine........start thinking about writing a book about him cos he may laer turn to a superstar.....dont stop him from doing sport..do you know our many kids are looking for such opportunity to do sport?

jess2019:


He is very athletic and good in all sports. Plays basketball, soccer, swimming and athletic. He won two consecutive cross country and broke the state record in 300m race. High scorer in his basketball team; plays for two clubs.

I'm even thinking this behaviour
started since he became too active in so many sports. Thinking I should stop him �

OP,

As soon as you can, please get this Indian film and watch it: Taare Zameen Par (Like stars on earth). Pls get the one that is properly subtitled.

Watching this movie will give you a fresh perspective on this issue, help you understand your son better and develop better ways of helping him excel academically and socially.

I wish you guys the best.

jess2019:
My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.

Enrol him into COMMAND secondary school(boarding),iyana ipaja, Lagos. His ways will surely improve. Be sure to have a trusted guardian you can entrust him with in Nigeria.

jess2019:


Although it's not allowed here but I've moved from smacking to beating now but no change in his behaviour. I fear this boy will put me into trouble one day or grow up to hate me. I'm thinking of sending him to naija for one school semester but hubby refused.

na em win am o, e go smart by force, u kw see say 9ja boys smart

Mods always inventing sob stories and bringing them to front page just for traffic

majamajic:
register him at football academy

that's how stars do !

the guy go forget score o

There is nothing wrong with your son. He is normal. Keep on reminding him and he will get used to doing the needful. I was worse than your son.

jess2019:
My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.

Your son may be 'special'
Google symptoms of Autism Spectrum disorder...