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My Bank Robbery Experience - Literature - Nairaland

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My Bank Robbery Experience by TemmyT002(m): 9:38am On Aug 23, 2019
The other day, I went to one of my banks to withdraw some money. Their darned ATM was not dispensing, so I had to go inside the banking hall. I was welcomed by a cheerful guard and passed through the security door. As usual, there were many people in the bank. The bank has many customers but they are terrible in providing good services.

I stood behind six people in a queue; there were five queues in all. I wanted to listen to an old song by Lagbaja through my earpiece but one of the security men said it wasn’t allowed.

Suddenly, I heard gunfire behind me. Chunks and dusts of the plaster above rained down on me. People screamed and some dived to the floor, covering their heads with their hands.

I dropped down also, my heart beating wildly. I glanced behind me surreptitiously and I noticed seven armed people carrying guns; they had on their heads balaclavas. Their leader was a very beautiful young woman and she had a pistol. She couldn’t have been more than 23 years old.

Where did they come from? I wondered. How did they enter? Was it through the security door or a side door? How did they even pass through the gate? These questions and others whirled in my head.

“Hello everybody,” the woman began. “My name is Stella and I am here to rob you all…oh, and this bank too. So, I need your help and cooperation. “Last week, I killed a lot of people, and frankly, I am tired. I need a break this week. So please, please, I’m begging you, don’t make me shoot you today.

“Lack of cooperation is a major problem in Nigeria. That is why Nigeria is not moving forward. That is why I rob people, okay, since there is no job anywhere. Now, I want you all to submit your phones and wallet right here. Come on, move it, time is money.”

We stood up and began to submit our phones and wallet, under the guidance of the gunmen.”

“Good. Good. I like you people. You are so cooperative. Now, I want you all to lie down while we rob the bank. Thank you.”

The girl and four gunmen led the bank manager into a hallway, leaving three gunmen with us. Then a phone began to ring. I would recognize the tone anywhere because it was mine. I had recorded it for my fiancee.

One of the gunmen picked up the phone.” Who owns this?” he asked. Nobody spoke. “I said who owns this?” Nobody answered. “I will start shooting o.”

Some of the people began to cry and shout. “Who is the foolish owner?” Somebody asked. “Who iss the idiot that wants to kobalise us”

I had no choice. I stood up. “I sir.”

He walked towards me and slapped my head. “Are you deaf or what?” I was very angry but at the sight of a gun, one needs to be gentle. “Hmm, your sweetheart is calling you abi? Have you tested her or is she still a virgin?” My anger was boiling. “Perhaps, I could help you do the testing and you can thank me later.” He smiled.

It was too much. I kicked the soft part between his legs and as he doubled up in pain and a gasp, I smashed an uppercut with my right fist to his face. He somersaulted backwards as his teeth flew out of his mouth. The banking hall battle began.

I was already moving before the guy and his gun landed on the floor. I ran towards the other two gunmen who were facing away from me. As they both turned to face me, I punched one in the face and kicked the other hard in the stomach; he knelt down on the floor clutching his stomach.

The one I punched reared back and punched my face but I was faster. I dodged under his arm, grabbed him by the waist, lifted him up and gave him a John Cena-smack down; he landed hard on the marble floor. The other guy was still kneeling down. I smashed a kick to his face and he fell back unmoving.

I ran to the security door as the other hostages stared at me with great surprise. The security doors were locked. The security man stood up from where he was hiding and picked up one of the guns. “Nice work,” he told me. “You are a brave guy. Come and help me tie them quickly. The others will come soon.”

He found a rope and tied the robbers together. He gave one of the bank customers a gun to guard the robbers and he gave me the last gun.

“Can you shoot?”

“No sir,” I answered.

“Okay, stay behind me. The key to unlock the doors is beside the manager’s office. Without it, we are stuck here.”

I carried the gun the way Arnold Schwarzenegger did in Commando. When we were near the manager’s office, we heard the robbers coming. I peeped and saw the manager in front while the robbers followed him carrying sacks of money.

I dropped my gun, pushed the security man away and ran towards the robbers. I ran around the manager and round-kicked the first robber in the side of the head. I jumped up, twisted in the air and kicked the second robber in the face; I heard the crush of his face. Two down, three to go.

The third robber was bringing up his gun. I rolled on the floor and swiped his legs off the floor; he landed on his head. I somersaulted backwards and the heels of my boots smashed his mouth.

When I stood up, a pistol was pointing at my head.

It was Stella the armed robber. She knocked my head with her gun and I blacked out.

When I woke up, I found myself on a stretcher outside the bank. There were many people and policemen there. I had a massive headache but Paracetamol chased it away. I learnt that Stella escaped with a bag of money but her men were arrested. The manager confessed to working with them. The Banking Hall battle was over.

The bank customers hugged me gratefully. The bank allowed me to run a zero-account and gave me lots of gifts. They made me a customer with special status. The Nigerian Police made me their ambassador.

SOURCE: https://opinionsandstories.com/the-banking-hall-battle/
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Re: My Bank Robbery Experience by asgard01(m): 9:42am On Aug 23, 2019
MUMU ME

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