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Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Nobody: 2:13pm On Aug 30, 2019
95K against 65k. The man pays rent, school fees, with probably some day-to-day expenditures like running a gen, if they have one. Recharging meter and what-not and the wife still wants him to drop money. Whereas, their salary difference is just 30k, and someone said the lady is overwhelmed by her own share of the responsibility. Okay, she should keep saving her money 'till her husband dies of BP one day. What do I know sef when I am not married? grin That was how a family friend gave one advise to always hide my money when I get married and this is a married woman. Perhaps, op,s wife has same mentality as my family friend.

6 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by boldx(m): 2:15pm On Aug 30, 2019
jarmy:
Thanks for your response. A man is polygamous by nature. Any man that sticks only to his wife is sacrificing for his marriage and keeping to his marital vow.

That said, may I ask, what is the savings for and is oga aware of this?


Who told you men are polygamous in nature? This is strictly African mentality. Do you rub it on your wife's face that you are the sole provider of the house?

6 Likes

Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by boldx(m): 2:24pm On Aug 30, 2019
jarmy:
Just watch National Geographic Channel, you will understand. A man is till sexually active even at 100, some men can have erection by mere looking at a woman
From your comments, I kind of understand your personality. I am sorry to say this my brother. N95,000 monthly income for a man is barely enough for buying fuel, car repairs, feeding, NEPA bills, fuel for generator etc. My brother, just pray for God to enlarge your coast and this wahala will be a thing of the past.
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by eojepa: 2:52pm On Aug 30, 2019
My wife and I put our salaries together before spending. After necessary subtraction, we take some more for personal use and save the rest if any in our joint account. This way, its ours and not mine. Our car, our land etc. But a man is expected to have most things before marriage.
So oga...ur wife is up to something else. Its her thing and if not corrected may aggravate. 10yrs no b beans. What did you do to that woman to change after such time. Maybe ur choice of words, mentality or....

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by MMotimo: 3:22pm On Aug 30, 2019
From your narrative, it sounds like she’s not comfortable with how you use the family income so she’s taken it upon herself to save compulsively. You’ve mentioned how you pay bills but are you able to put aside any tangible savings after those bills? Is it possible her strategy is to save for possible emergencies that may occur?

Communication is key here. Who or what is she saving for? Do you both need to open a joint account so that there’s transparency with the family budget? Since she’s not spending her money on frequent owambes and asoebis, it does not sound like you have a major problem. You both just need to understand and plan the savings.

I’m female and I run the household income/budget with occasional input from my husband. That works for us because there’s mutual trust and frankly, it’s less headache for my husband as he doesn’t have to worry his head about planning the money. His income is double mine but no one is siphoning secret monies to do secret anything. All income goes into a joint account.

3 Likes

Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by cy4eve(f): 3:35pm On Aug 30, 2019
Jayslicky:
Yes a wife should submit her salary to her man, she should also submit her pvssy, her love, her time and her life to her man.

The woman belongs to the man, so far he has paid her bride price.
African mentality

1 Like

Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Octobertwentysix(f): 3:36pm On Aug 30, 2019
Marriage is the union of two people who share everything and that includes money. Handing over her money shouldn't be used but rather contributing to the family income, we've been married for eight years with two girls and a baby boy, the formula I and my husband use is simple.
we both have paid salary jobs and side hustle, I have small company and he has his own side hustle, from our salaries we put some amount in our children's account and the rest of the money goes into what we call our capital projects such as car, land and building, now from my side hustle I buy foodstuffs like plantains, garri, yam,palm oil, dried fish and crayfish etc because I have access to local farmers who comes to sell these thing on market days, while my husband is responsible for sack of rice, beans, beverages, detergents etc.
He is responsible for school fees, House rent I assist when needed but it's not compulsory, and any of us can buy clothes and shoes for the children. it's all about financial intelligence and trust.
Most women who try to hide money from their spouse do so out of fear of the unknown, sit with your wife and discuss what's best for you, just because A is doing it doesn't mean it will work for B. Cheers.

12 Likes

Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Octobertwentysix(f): 3:47pm On Aug 30, 2019
eojepa:
My wife and I put our salaries together before spending. After necessary subtraction, we take some more for personal use and save the rest if any in our joint account. This way, its ours and not mine. Our car, our land etc. But a man is expected to have most things before marriage.
So oga...ur wife is up to something else. Its her thing and if not corrected may aggravate. 10yrs no b beans. What did you do to that woman to change after such time. Maybe ur choice of words, mentality or....
Exactly may be he said something or did something that made her change or he's manner of spending scared her to start saving or maybe she had started listening to all these 'hide your money' women who believe that there can never be men who are faithful husbands and would one day push the woman out, I have a lot of them as neighbors and colleagues.

3 Likes

Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by cy4eve(f): 3:51pm On Aug 30, 2019
jarmy:
Good day House.

Please, I need the response of only married couples.

Also, kindly indicate your sex.

My wife and I have been married for about 10 years now. We are blessed with two kids.
During courtship, we agreed that we will have a joint budget which will be funded by the income of both of us.

Initially, I was the only one working, with take-home pay of 40k. She then got a job of about 36k. back then, she would
withdraw her salary and hand it over to me. What I usually do is to hand it over to her and ask her to use it for feeding
while I take care of all other expenses with my salary.

My salary is now about 95k and her's 65k. Our children's school fees, house rent, feeding etc have all increase, no thanks to the current economic realities!

My wife stopped handing over are salary and insisted that I should be giving her feeding money. I clearly explained to her that my income can not accommodate feeding, for now, explaining clearly how I spend my salary and other income but she still insisted that I should be giving her feeding money

The thing is she is into so many saving schemes, without my approval. She just wants to save money!
She is insecure and doesn't trust me. She wants her own stuff: her own car, her own house, etc.

I have never cheated on her, I pay the rents, school fees, paid for her post-graduate programme, buy foodstuffs occasionally etc.

What should I do?
Don't make it look as if she's indebted to u or anyone in d family, u don't make such rule bcus u re the head "'african mentality'". I believe sharing is a willing thing, so b polite.

1 Like

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Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by princfred(m): 4:21pm On Aug 30, 2019
Octobertwentysix:
Marriage is the union of two people who share everything and that includes money. Handing over her money shouldn't be used but rather contributing to the family income, we've been married for eight years with two girls and a baby boy, the formula I and my husband use is simple.
we both have paid salary jobs and side hustle, I have small company and he has his own side hustle, from our salaries we put some amount in our children's account and the rest of the money goes into what we call our capital projects such as car, land and building, now from my side hustle I buy foodstuffs like plantains, garri, yam,palm oil, dried fish and crayfish etc because I have access to local farmers who comes to sell these thing on market days, while my husband is responsible for sack of rice, beans, beverages, detergents etc.
He is responsible for school fees, House rent I assist when needed but it's not compulsory, and any of us can buy clothes and shoes for the children. it's all about financial intelligence and trust.
Most women who try to hide money from their spouse do so out of fear of the unknown, sit with your wife and discuss what's best for you, just because A is doing it doesn't mean it will work for B. Cheers.

TEMPLATE
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by sisisioge: 4:25pm On Aug 30, 2019
grin grin grin grin grin

I will call my married neighbours to come and contribute o grin

1 Like

Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by ThothHermes: 4:29pm On Aug 30, 2019
budaatum:

Should I get my husband to respond instead?
Are you a woman

Or gay shocked shocked

Muttleylaff is Buda female
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Mizwisdom(f): 4:29pm On Aug 30, 2019
jarmy:
Thanks for your comment, especially regarding the husband carrying out projects without the wife's contribution. Concerning update on her savings, she doesn't give me any update.

My wife knows everything about all my projects. I also ensure that I get her support before embarking on any.

I thinks the problems is her insecurity. I don't know where this is coming from.


If she tells. you to prepare lunch or dinner for the family you will start preaching that a man is not supposed to do such but here you are shamelessly waiting for your wife's sweat. Look Oga, you're a man and the head of the family, start acting like one, go out there and hustle enough so that you won't be waiting for your wife's meagre salary, the only way I personally will share my salary is if I see that my husband helps me with domestic work and he's humble.

7 Likes

Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Joystark(f): 4:55pm On Aug 30, 2019
princfred:


Of course and that's very fine.
Yet a non stingy wive; a fine compliment otherwise the man can be made a goat if things go south for him financially by the very woman he made a queen.

If I may ask, is your wife from Rivers state and has she started associating with igbo women which precipitated the change ? Beware of her latest company.

What's with the 'Rivers State' and 'Igbo women' talk nau?

1 Like

Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Joystark(f): 4:57pm On Aug 30, 2019
Octobertwentysix:
Marriage is the union of two people who share everything and that includes money. Handing over her money shouldn't be used but rather contributing to the family income, we've been married for eight years with two girls and a baby boy, the formula I and my husband use is simple.
we both have paid salary jobs and side hustle, I have small company and he has his own side hustle, from our salaries we put some amount in our children's account and the rest of the money goes into what we call our capital projects such as car, land and building, now from my side hustle I buy foodstuffs like plantains, garri, yam,palm oil, dried fish and crayfish etc because I have access to local farmers who comes to sell these thing on market days, while my husband is responsible for sack of rice, beans, beverages, detergents etc.
He is responsible for school fees, House rent I assist when needed but it's not compulsory, and any of us can buy clothes and shoes for the children. it's all about financial intelligence and trust.
Most women who try to hide money from their spouse do so out of fear of the unknown, sit with your wife and discuss what's best for you, just because A is doing it doesn't mean it will work for B. Cheers.

Okay, this looks nice. Married people come and tell us more o.
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by ZIMDRILL(m): 5:00pm On Aug 30, 2019
jarmy:
Thanks for your comment, especially regarding the husband carrying out projects without the wife's contribution. Concerning update on her savings, she doesn't give me any update.

My wife knows everything about all my projects. I also ensure that I get her support before embarking on any.

I thinks the problems is her insecurity. I don't know where this is coming from.

i get you but

its you who have to make her self secure like right now you say "MY PROJECT" instead of saying OUR PROJECT

remember in most marriage ceremony they say you are now ONE meaning you no longer think and do things as an individual but as couple, couple means who people who have the same vision, goals and they sit down and agree to those visions and goals

2 Likes

Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by princfred(m): 5:31pm On Aug 30, 2019
Joystark:


What's with the 'Rivers State' and 'Igbo women' talk nau?
Point that you couldn't help but notice.
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by princfred(m): 5:34pm On Aug 30, 2019
Mizwisdom:



If she tells. you to prepare lunch or dinner for the family you will start preaching that a man is not supposed to do such but here you are shamelessly waiting for your wife's sweat. Look Oga, you're a man and the head of the family, start acting like one, go out there and hustle enough so that you won't be waiting for your wife's meagre salary, the only way I personally will share my salary is if I see that my husband helps me with domestic work and he's humble.










The children he made with you no reach to help you na unless he come make eba abi. Dont worry na to arrange sexy calaber house girl wey go help you and help me for everywhere no be only to make eba.
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by jarmy: 6:20pm On Aug 30, 2019
theButterfly:
Why should she continue "handing over" or "submitting" her salary to you? Ahnn ahnnn, what kinda thing is that? If she's no longer handing over her salary to you but saving, it's probably to protect your family [I doubt she's doing it for herself]. Open a joint account where an agreed amount from both of you goes into - towards household expenses, but demanding her whole salary isn't right. Instead of trying to use her salary as your own extra income, double your hustle and make that money yourself.
Do you know the irony of it? She may even get more from me if she agrees to submit her pay.

1 Like

Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Nobody: 6:25pm On Aug 30, 2019
More out of thin air, abi? Yawn, double your hustle, oga.

jarmy:
Do you know the irony of it? She may even get more from me if she agrees to submit her pay.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by jarmy: 6:28pm On Aug 30, 2019
Octobertwentysix:
Marriage is the union of two people who share everything and that includes money. Handing over her money shouldn't be used but rather contributing to the family income, we've been married for eight years with two girls and a baby boy, the formula I and my husband use is simple.
we both have paid salary jobs and side hustle, I have small company and he has his own side hustle, from our salaries we put some amount in our children's account and the rest of the money goes into what we call our capital projects such as car, land and building, now from my side hustle I buy foodstuffs like plantains, garri, yam,palm oil, dried fish and crayfish etc because I have access to local farmers who comes to sell these thing on market days, while my husband is responsible for sack of rice, beans, beverages, detergents etc.
He is responsible for school fees, House rent I assist when needed but it's not compulsory, and any of us can buy clothes and shoes for the children. it's all about financial intelligence and trust.
Most women who try to hide money from their spouse do so out of fear of the unknown, sit with your wife and discuss what's best for you, just because A is doing it doesn't mean it will work for B. Cheers.
Well said
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by jarmy: 6:31pm On Aug 30, 2019
boldx:

From your comments, I kind of understand your personality. I am sorry to say this my brother. N95,000 monthly income for a man is barely enough for buying fuel, car repairs, feeding, NEPA bills, fuel for generator etc. My brother, just pray for God to enlarge your coast and this wahala will be a thing of the past.

Ok. Thanks
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by jarmy: 6:34pm On Aug 30, 2019
MMotimo:
From your narrative, it sounds like she’s not comfortable with how you use the family income so she’s taken it upon herself to save compulsively. You’ve mentioned how you pay bills but are you able to put aside any tangible savings after those bills? Is it possible her strategy is to save for possible emergencies that may occur?

Communication is key here. Who or what is she saving for? Do you both need to open a joint account so that there’s transparency with the family budget? Since she’s not spending her money on frequent owambes and asoebis, it does not sound like you have a major problem. You both just need to understand and plan the savings.

I’m female and I run the household income/budget with occasional input from my husband. That works for us because there’s mutual trust and frankly, it’s less headache for my husband as he doesn’t have to worry his head about planning the money. His income is double mine but no one is siphoning secret monies to do secret anything. All income goes into a joint account.
She has a personal mutual fund account and another saving scheme at her place of work.

I have worked hard to ensure that we complete our own house but she sees the house as mine and not ours
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by jarmy: 6:39pm On Aug 30, 2019
ZIMDRILL:


i get you but

its you who have to make her self secure like right now you say "MY PROJECT" instead of saying OUR PROJECT

remember in most marriage ceremony they say you are now ONE meaning you no longer think and do things as an individual but as couple, couple means who people who have the same vision, goals and they sit down and agree to those visions and goals



What if they don't agree? marriages are successful because there is a will to make sacrifices.
It must be a collective effort and not a one-sided thing.
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by thorpido(m): 6:44pm On Aug 30, 2019
Why did you come up with the idea of submitting her salary to you in the first place?Na you employ am? Why do you people like to start something that will backfire later?

14 Likes

Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by jarmy: 6:45pm On Aug 30, 2019
Mizwisdom:



If she tells. you to prepare lunch or dinner for the family you will start preaching that a man is not supposed to do such but here you are shamelessly waiting for your wife's sweat. Look Oga, you're a man and the head of the family, start acting like one, go out there and hustle enough so that you won't be waiting for your wife's meagre salary, the only way I personally will share my salary is if I see that my husband helps me with domestic work and he's humble.











So what would you do with your income, knowing fully well that your husband's salary cannot pay all the bills?

1 Like

Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by jarmy: 6:48pm On Aug 30, 2019
thorpido:
Why did you come up with the idea of submitting her salary to you in the first place?Na you employ am? Why do you people like to start something that will backfire later?
She was doing that before.
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Acidosis(m): 7:08pm On Aug 30, 2019
Boss, your wife's contribution is a privilege, not a right.

7 Likes

Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by ZIMDRILL(m): 7:22pm On Aug 30, 2019
jarmy:
What if they don't agree? marriages are successful because there is a will to make sacrifices.
It must be a collective effort and not a one-sided thing.

if they dont agree they need to back to drawing board and find a way to agree to knew thing that work for both

in this case he is saying she wants her own house, lets forget about the car because if money is there you can have cars in family one for each but for me when comes to marriage you can not say this is house my house and that one is hers

nothing wrong with having many properties aka house but having them in personal names while you are married is not a good idea

she wants her own house may be the house is in his name only thats why she feels insecure WHY? (from the few responds i see here when it comes to properties aka house when the husband dies, husband's relatives will kick the window out take over the house etc ) so her solution would be having her own house just in case

But eg if the husband puts both there name on the property she feel secure because in the even he dies before her, she will legally the owner of the house and kids would have a roof on there head

so sometimes it is us men we make our women insecure because we do not involve them in financial decision of the future, therefore they try to have secret future plans in case the worst happen

i agree that sometimes we need to sacrifice personal happiness for marriage to work but its always better to lead by example eg you as the husband lead by sacrificing first

6 Likes

Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Rukkydelta(f): 7:22pm On Aug 30, 2019
Jayslicky:
Yes a wife should submit her salary to her man, she should also submit her pvssy, her love, her time and most importantly her life to her man.

The woman belongs to the man, so far he has paid her bride price. Anything the man tells his woman she should do, she must do it, if he tells her to eat grass she must do it, if he tells her to kneel down to serve his food she must do it.

A man is a Lord while a woman is a maid.

Savagery grin grin
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by ZIMDRILL(m): 7:27pm On Aug 30, 2019
jarmy:


So what would you do with your income, knowing fully well that your husband's salary cannot pay all the bills?


good question

besides

where is her salary supposed to go ? is it that when you got married you claimed to be ONE

so his salary and her is meant for the two of you aka your house as husband and wife

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