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A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS - Literature - Nairaland

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A Note To Patricia | Shontellybee / Hot Story: Boobs Passion(18+) (2) (3) (4)

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A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by Ishilove: 2:22pm On Sep 08
A note from a very weary editor, to all male writers:

1) Women's breasts are not communication devices. They are not sending you, or your male protagonists, encoded messages. They are, in fact, insentient. They neither dance nor issue invitations.

2) In the vast majority of scenarios, they don't merit a mention at all.

You know how it's rude to stare at boobs in real life? It's a similar breach of etiquette to mention them repeatedly in your prose, while their owner is just going about her daily business.

3) (While we're on the subject, few women will come to a spiraling climax from anyone grabbing them. Just so you know.)

4) In addition, they are rarely arranged for your personal approval.

I know, it's hard to believe, isn't it?

Most of the time they're just sitting there, just as your own moobs (testicles) are just sitting there, quite innocently, not carrying any meaning whatsoever.

5) And here's a very simple rule of thumb: if you're describing a woman in a professional context, do not - I repeat, do NOT - mention her breasts. It is not just irrelevant; it's downright icky.

If it would count as sexual harassment in real life, don't put it in writing.

6) Now, it may well be pertinent to talk about boobs when your characters are having sex. Bon. However...

Breasts have no musculature, and so cannot move independently. They do not surge upwards in excitement unless their owner is bouncing on the bed. (In which case, good for her.)

7) They are not woodland creatures. They do not tremble, vibrate, rise to your touch, or indeed sit up on their hind legs and sniff the air in anticipation.

cool They do not - please god - nestle.

9) We know you love boobs. I mean, who doesn't? They're adorable things.

But if you are trying to write a serious novel please try to hold back from mentioning them all the frickin' time. It's downright creepy.

If ever the phrase 'kill your darlings' were relevant...

Source- Hilarious tweets from Katherine May's Twitter account. Katherine May is a British writer and literary editor.

https://mobile.twitter.com/_katherine_may_/status/1169928790220443649



In sum, men, please give us, your Beleaguered Readers something readable along the lines of A Tale of Two Cities, not A Tale of Two Titties.

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Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by kingreign(m): 3:48pm On Sep 08
Ogaa ooooi

2 Likes

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by ornicus: 5:10pm On Sep 08
Ishilove:

It is only a man that will come up with such pictures. Katherine May wrote those tweets for una

don't be upset - just boob slap me tongue

10 Likes

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by Ishilove: 5:27pm On Sep 08
ornicus:


don't be upset - just boob slap me tongue
If I boob slap you with my babies you will get a concussion.

5 Likes

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by ornicus: 5:30pm On Sep 08
Ishilove:

If I boob slap you with my babies you will get a concussion.

I think we have our new SF character.ishi the knocker boxer

3 Likes

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by ornicus: 5:32pm On Sep 08
They were the biggest of boobs, the smallest of boobs.
The boobs of sag and the boobs of perkiness...

30 Likes

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by LarrySun(m): 10:34pm On Sep 08
Hilarious! Very hilarious indeed! Equally insightful.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by Ishilove: 3:35am On Sep 09
LarrySun:
Hilarious! Very hilarious indeed! Equally insightful.
Indeed it is smiley

1 Like

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by Ishilove: 3:39am On Sep 09
ornicus:
They were the biggest of boobs, the smallest of boobs.
The boobs of sag and the boobs of perkiness...

Heh. You're the typical male, obsessed with the female mammary organs.

3 Likes

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by ornicus: 3:50am On Sep 09
Ishilove:

Heh. You're the typical male, obsessed with the female mammary organs.

na you dey pick article wey reference charles dickens a tale of two cities

the opening line of a tale of two cities is

it was the best of times, the worst of times, the age of wisdom, the age of foolishness

i was trying to adapt from the end as well - " it is a far better thing i do "

syndey carton was the ultimate frieendzoned dude. and he friendzoned himself all the way sad sad

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by Ishilove: 3:53am On Sep 09
ornicus:


na you dey pick article wey reference charles dickens a tale of two cities

the opening line of a tale of two cities is

it was the best of times, the worst of times, the age of wisdom, the age of foolishness

i was trying to adapt from the end as well - " it is a far better thing i do "

syndey carton was the ultimate frieendzoned dude. and he friendzoned himself all the way sad sad
I know you were referencing the opening lines with boobs. I just don't see the reason why, except that you're male. Us boob carriers are not so enamoured.
Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by ornicus: 4:01am On Sep 09
Ishilove:

I know you were referencing the opening lines with boobs. I just don't see the reason why, except that you're male. Us boob carriers are not so enamoured.

of course you aren't

now i'm sure if it was this matter ,



you'd give us some classic literature . bests of times and worst of times all at once

you need one jare.thats why you're up at this time tongue

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by anonimi: 4:30am On Sep 09
Ishilove:
Source- Hilarious tweets from Katherine May's Twitter account. Katherine May is a British writer and literary editor.

In sum, men, please give us, your Beleaguered Readers something readable along the lines of A Tale of Two Cities, not A Tale of Two Titties.

Since she is a very weary editor, her errors can be overlooked.
Two titties of Bolatito are pointers to the pleasures ahead tongue


9 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by anonimi: 4:31am On Sep 09
ornicus:
They were the biggest of boobs, the smallest of boobs.
The boobs of sag and the boobs of perkiness...

Is your moniker derived from hor.ny
Just wondering cheesy

1 Like

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by pocohantas(f): 7:06am On Sep 09
Maybe they are trying to appeal to male readers or it is just them being men.


'Cos as a woman- I am totally uninterested in any description of another woman's mammary glands.
Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by ornicus: 7:32am On Sep 09
anonimi:


Is your moniker derived from Hot
Just wondering cheesy


naaa

ornicus orca is the biological name for killer whale

i randomly picked the last orca as an handle , but it was being confused with the gaming orca - so i went for ornicus

i am just trolling my girl ishi is all

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by Ishilove: 3:06pm On Sep 09
anonimi:


Is your moniker derived from hor.ny
Just wondering cheesy
Obviously it is grin

2 Likes

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by Ishilove: 3:07pm On Sep 09
pocohantas:
Maybe they are trying to appeal to male readers or it is just them being men.


'Cos as a woman- I am totally uninterested in any description of another woman's mammary glands.
You have gay tendencies tongue

1 Like

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by wwwtortoise(m): 3:16pm On Sep 09
grin

That feeling of female mammary glands softly pressing against your chest while you surf the internet grin grin grin

Who can relate? cool

In my next life I want to be a man.

1 Like

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by Mikora: 3:16pm On Sep 09
Woke and triggered Snowflake's everywhere. When I was into reading romance, I discovered it was the female writers that mostly dwelt on all those sensual and erotic aspect of the story. How many male romance writers are out there? How many men do you know specialize on writing erotic articles? We're in an era where people just wake up and look for something to be triggered about and a gaggle of brainless fellows will echo it as the latest "wisdom" in town. I was having a chat with a native American Indian on Twitter and this dude was seriously triggered because Italians use tomatoes to cook their famous pasta. His reason? He claimed tomatoes are an Indian american cultural heritage and for Italians to use it to cook pasta is cultural appropriation. What a crazy world we live in now where the mob and outrage culture won't even let you Cook with tomatoes without having someone getting triggered over it

18 Likes

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by Gozzy138: 3:17pm On Sep 09
ornicus:
They were the biggest of boobs, the smallest of boobs.
The boobs of sag and the boobs of perkiness...


is that all you can think

1 Like 1 Share

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by Emmy3(m): 3:17pm On Sep 09
This generation is loaded with perverts.
Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by helinues: 3:17pm On Sep 09
Hahahahaha

Both op and the writer.... grin grin

1 Like

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by Drabeey(m): 3:17pm On Sep 09
Hilarious though, but if you mean this gibberish... God made that stuff there for male pleasure grin



Drabeey was Here

1 Like

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by tpiar: 3:19pm On Sep 09
I just catch fear because they say the meaty parts with more fat are the tastiest.

Make God help us oh.
Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by saraki2019(m): 3:20pm On Sep 09
We should go back to the past, let women remain at home as wives, let men go out for jobs, let all women in public and private sector go back home and let men without jobs take their jobs, this will reduce unemployment and distribution wealth among all families.
Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by PotatoSalad(m): 3:21pm On Sep 09
I don't know, between this post and this vegetable which is dumber

5 Likes

Re: A Note From A Very Weary Editor To Male Writers About BOOBS by OsuAmaka: 3:21pm On Sep 09
Feminists are getting dumber by the day. Next, they would dictate to us how to squeeze boobs.
What's really special about a pair of grown lumps?.. mtcheew!


-Osu Amaka

12 Likes

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