A note from a very weary editor, to all male writers:

1) Women's breasts are not communication devices. They are not sending you, or your male protagonists, encoded messages. They are, in fact, insentient. They neither dance nor issue invitations.

2) In the vast majority of scenarios, they don't merit a mention at all.

You know how it's rude to stare at boobs in real life? It's a similar breach of etiquette to mention them repeatedly in your prose, while their owner is just going about her daily business.

3) (While we're on the subject, few women will come to a spiraling climax from anyone grabbing them. Just so you know.)

4) In addition, they are rarely arranged for your personal approval.

I know, it's hard to believe, isn't it?

Most of the time they're just sitting there, just as your own moobs (testicles) are just sitting there, quite innocently, not carrying any meaning whatsoever.

5) And here's a very simple rule of thumb: if you're describing a woman in a professional context, do not - I repeat, do NOT - mention her breasts. It is not just irrelevant; it's downright icky.

If it would count as sexual harassment in real life, don't put it in writing.

6) Now, it may well be pertinent to talk about boobs when your characters are having sex. Bon. However...

Breasts have no musculature, and so cannot move independently. They do not surge upwards in excitement unless their owner is bouncing on the bed. (In which case, good for her.)

7) They are not woodland creatures. They do not tremble, vibrate, rise to your touch, or indeed sit up on their hind legs and sniff the air in anticipation.

They do not - please god - nestle.

9) We know you love boobs. I mean, who doesn't? They're adorable things.

But if you are trying to write a serious novel please try to hold back from mentioning them all the frickin' time. It's downright creepy.

If ever the phrase 'kill your darlings' were relevant...

Source- Hilarious tweets from Katherine May's Twitter account. Katherine May is a British writer and literary editor.

https://mobile.twitter.com/_katherine_may_/status/1169928790220443649



In sum, men, please give us, your Beleaguered Readers something readable along the lines of A Tale of Two Cities, not A Tale of Two Titties.

Ogaa ooooi

Ishilove:

It is only a man that will come up with such pictures. Katherine May wrote those tweets for una

don't be upset - just boob slap me

ornicus:


don't be upset - just boob slap me

If I boob slap you with my babies you will get a concussion.

Ishilove:

If I boob slap you with my babies you will get a concussion.

I think we have our new SF character.ishi the knocker boxer

They were the biggest of boobs, the smallest of boobs.
The boobs of sag and the boobs of perkiness...

Hilarious! Very hilarious indeed! Equally insightful.

LarrySun:
Hilarious! Very hilarious indeed! Equally insightful.

Indeed it is

ornicus:
They were the biggest of boobs, the smallest of boobs.
The boobs of sag and the boobs of perkiness...

Heh. You're the typical male, obsessed with the female mammary organs.

Ishilove:

Heh. You're the typical male, obsessed with the female mammary organs.

na you dey pick article wey reference charles dickens a tale of two cities

the opening line of a tale of two cities is

it was the best of times, the worst of times, the age of wisdom, the age of foolishness

i was trying to adapt from the end as well - " it is a far better thing i do "

syndey carton was the ultimate frieendzoned dude. and he friendzoned himself all the way

ornicus:


na you dey pick article wey reference charles dickens a tale of two cities

the opening line of a tale of two cities is

it was the best of times, the worst of times, the age of wisdom, the age of foolishness

i was trying to adapt from the end as well - " it is a far better thing i do "

syndey carton was the ultimate frieendzoned dude. and he friendzoned himself all the way

I know you were referencing the opening lines with boobs. I just don't see the reason why, except that you're male. Us boob carriers are not so enamoured.

Ishilove:

I know you were referencing the opening lines with boobs. I just don't see the reason why, except that you're male. Us boob carriers are not so enamoured.

of course you aren't

now i'm sure if it was this matter ,



you'd give us some classic literature . bests of times and worst of times all at once

you need one jare.thats why you're up at this time

Ishilove:
Source- Hilarious tweets from Katherine May's Twitter account. Katherine May is a British writer and literary editor.

In sum, men, please give us, your Beleaguered Readers something readable along the lines of A Tale of Two Cities, not A Tale of Two Titties.

Since she is a very weary editor, her errors can be overlooked.
Two titties of Bolatito are pointers to the pleasures ahead


www.nairaland.com/attachments/7407354_img20180713131300911_jpeg0309ebfbe1769526f6e7c7a2f01c3ef1

ornicus:
They were the biggest of boobs, the smallest of boobs.
The boobs of sag and the boobs of perkiness...

Is your moniker derived from hor.ny
Just wondering

Maybe they are trying to appeal to male readers or it is just them being men.


'Cos as a woman- I am totally uninterested in any description of another woman's mammary glands.

anonimi:


Is your moniker derived from Hot
Just wondering

naaa

ornicus orca is the biological name for killer whale

i randomly picked the last orca as an handle , but it was being confused with the gaming orca - so i went for ornicus

i am just trolling my girl ishi is all

anonimi:


Is your moniker derived from hor.ny
Just wondering

Obviously it is

pocohantas:
Maybe they are trying to appeal to male readers or it is just them being men.


'Cos as a woman- I am totally uninterested in any description of another woman's mammary glands.

You have gay tendencies

That feeling of female mammary glands softly pressing against your chest while you surf the internet

Who can relate?

In my next life I want to be a man.

Woke and triggered Snowflake's everywhere. When I was into reading romance, I discovered it was the female writers that mostly dwelt on all those sensual and erotic aspect of the story. How many male romance writers are out there? How many men do you know specialize on writing erotic articles? We're in an era where people just wake up and look for something to be triggered about and a gaggle of brainless fellows will echo it as the latest "wisdom" in town. I was having a chat with a native American Indian on Twitter and this dude was seriously triggered because Italians use tomatoes to cook their famous pasta. His reason? He claimed tomatoes are an Indian american cultural heritage and for Italians to use it to cook pasta is cultural appropriation. What a crazy world we live in now where the mob and outrage culture won't even let you Cook with tomatoes without having someone getting triggered over it

ornicus:
They were the biggest of boobs, the smallest of boobs.
The boobs of sag and the boobs of perkiness...

is that all you can think

This generation is loaded with perverts.

Hahahahaha

Both op and the writer....

Hilarious though, but if you mean this gibberish... God made that stuff there for male pleasure



Drabeey was Here

I just catch fear because they say the meaty parts with more fat are the tastiest.

Make God help us oh.

We should go back to the past, let women remain at home as wives, let men go out for jobs, let all women in public and private sector go back home and let men without jobs take their jobs, this will reduce unemployment and distribution wealth among all families.

I don't know, between this post and this vegetable which is dumber

Feminists are getting dumber by the day. Next, they would dictate to us how to squeeze boobs.
What's really special about a pair of grown lumps?.. mtcheew!


-Osu Amaka