donstan18:
From what you've said, it's impossible for the wife not be aware of her husband's cheating activities.

No go do pass yourself.

Noblefirstlady:

Believe me she doesn't know. She suspects him but she really doesn't know anything about this lady. And when ever he comes back late he attacks her first, with words like why didn't you open the door quickly or you thought I went to see another woman. He attacks before she attacks

Donald3d:
She probably already knows. She just chose to feign ignorance, the classic Nigerian woman's tale of " he would change", "I am here for my children", "what more can I do" .

Most times any man/woman who is bold enough to inflict physical injury/violence continuously on their spouse without any form of remorse, is also cheating/inflicting emotional injury without remorse(ladies take note of this).

This man has gotten the point where I call point of no return.Anybody who can cheat without remorse(publicly), can kill you if given the chance.

The real question is, if you tell her, what happens next ?

As I always say, its better to treat the root cause of problems than treating the symptoms of the problem.
Oga has no respect for her, simple. So she has to gain some back.
I usually do not encourage divorce, but I would gladly back it when physical violence comes into play, what if she falls and die one day ?

Since you are educated you can help her.
1. I am glad she has something doing already. She should start saving massively.
2. Help her get a lawyer, save all these Facebook posts(screenshot them), have recordings if you can audio/video evidence of all his misbehavior.Get neighbors and people who care about her to testify in court against him.
3. She should file for divorce, for Oga to still be collecting money from her, that means she is not doing badly in business and she can stand on her own with her kids. Let him go and be with his side chick, since he wants her so much that he shamelessly brought her to their matrimonial home !.

I am not encouraging cheating, but when a partner cheats without remorse and does not even attempt to hide it, they are telling you to your face that you are irrelevant in the equation.So do them a favor by taking yourself out of the equation.

People should stop getting married if they can't be faithful to their partners, its nauseating ! .

SageMK:
He neglect, abuse and maltreat her yet she's still by his side. Why because each time she look at her hand, the ring adoring her finger take away all her pain. So even with an indisputable proof of his infidelity, that woman will want to side with him and you'll be the villain. Tread carefully.

donstan18:

Who exactly are you to the family to know this much about them?

Noblefirstlady:

Believe me she doesn't know. She suspects him but she really doesn't know anything about this lady. And when ever he comes back late he attacks her first, with words like why didn't you open the door quickly or you thought I went to see another woman. He attacks before she attacks

Noblefirstlady:

Yeah she is this typical traditional woman. She always say she will be there for her kids so divorce is out of the picture.
And the man will be very happy if she ask for divorce because he is ashamed of her. He prefers his side chick with all the slay qualities.

Donald3d:

There is no justification for cheating, but she should also "upgrade" and "slay". I am not justifying the man's actions, but many married women get too relaxed, whether you are educated or not, look good for your husband, wear bum shorts around the house .

Many Nigerian women always go from hot looking divas to wrapper tying, dull-looking, women . They get too relaxed and complacent. This goes for men as well. Be in shape for your spouse, look good, smell nice even if you are more than 50 years old. Don't stop looking and smelling appealing.

Since she wants to keep her marriage, she should make some personal "upgrade". There is still no guarantee however that he would change, but she should give it a shot.

egopersonified:
Even if the wife isnt aware and you tell her, it won't change anything. Seems the side chick thinks she is the main chick, I recommend opening a new face book account and tell the side chick, with pictures of his family.

Noblefirstlady:

But what stopped him from marrying a slay mama. She has always been timid and all

donstan18:
From what you've said, it's impossible for the wife not be aware of her husband's cheating activities.

No go do pass yourself, make dem no use you settle scores.

Donald3d:


I know I may have deviated from the subject matter, but I just felt that it was important for me to dissect this.....

I don dey talk too much, the thing dey pepper me for body, but make I .....

yeyeosoronga:


Let me complete it for you... Make you mechonu

Donald3d:


Well, you are right. That's why I said her "upgrade" might still not work.
Many people get married thinking they can "handle it" then they later discover that they want something more. Oga wanted to marry a good, timid geh, now he is ashamed of her, because she is not slaying.

Has he even attempted to help her "slay". The thing is its almost impossible to fix a relationship where one partner is not fully committed.

The thing is, people who would cheat would cheat, some people marry beauty queens that slay more than slay queens and still cheat.
The problem ? Their moral/value system, and lack of contentment and commitment.

People nowadays do not understand why they get married, they don't deeply understand the sacredness of marriage, they don't understand the FACT that marriage is letting go off your selfish and guilty pleasures just to fixate your eyes on your spouse alone, they are not contented. They want everything. This reminds me of the 80/20 rule (From the movie Why Did I Get Married- you should see all the parts, so much to learn !).

But again, I don't blame some men, its a foundational problem, parents spend all their time training the female folk to be prepared for marriage, teach them how to cook, respect and care for their home, and they neglect the very males their daughters and other people's daughters would get married to, making statements like "he is a man, he would marry a woman, leave him alone", whenever he makes errors that need to be corrected.

I have being doing this "research" on men/guys/boys. This care-free attitude and propensity to cheat is as a result of parent's negligence in inculcating values and the need to be accountable and treat people around them with respect.Men from a very little age are made to think they are boys and they can do anything they like and get away with it. That's how boys do . They become care-free at a little age and as expected transfer it into their adult lives by being philanders, as long as it pleases them, they do not care how the other party feels. Its the same reason for other things like domestic and emotional violence, its the same reason why many Nigerian men would NEVER help their wives with domestic chores. They can do as they like, its ingrained in their psyche .


Am I saying women don't cheat or misbehave too ?, they do, but most don't with the impunity with which men do.

Some guys make the fallacious assumptions that they can lay with as many women as they want simultaneously before getting married, and remain faithful to their wives when they eventually do get married. Sorry to burst your bubble bro, its almost impossible. Learn to keep your "johnny" in your pants, learn self control.Self control practiced before marriage, becomes very easy to execute when married.

Today, its Funke, tomorrow Chidinma, next tomorrow its Hauwa , most guys lose count of how many people they have slept with before they turn 25 .How then do you remain faithful when you get married. Its HARD . You have learnt to think with your "johnny" instead of with your head overtime. We have a problem on our hands. Parents need to do better.

I know I may have deviated from the subject matter, but I just felt that it was important for me to dissect this.....

I don dey talk too much, the thing dey pepper me for body, but make I .....

Biglittlelois:
I am yet to see any male here insult the fvcking cesspit, diick hopping, STD carrying, mistake of a man, had it been it was the wife cheating, they will all be foaming in the mouth, with fire in their eyes(if we can actually see them) raining all manner of gutter languages on the woman, and still claim men is only allowed to cheat, bunch of retarded schmucks, nonsense.

As for you Op, you are a relative right? All of you in his family that knows, did it ever click in your brain to talk to the stupid man to stop cheating on her? Can't you all have family meeting, sit the dolt down and talk sense into his empty brain? What if the dingbat give her HIV, HPV and all manner of diseases, una nor dey think ni? Or are you guys scared of the mofo ni? I can't say he is feeding y"all cos the asshole collects money from his wife, and you're looking for a way to reveal it to her smh, Let me tell you, she knows, even illiterates knows Facebook exist so don't kid yourself,

So, it's either she's bidding her time to strike at a perfectly unexpected time, or she choose to stupidly stay cos of the kids, or she's trying to save enough, then leave to where he can never find them, but make no mistake dude, she knows.