Must you always report her at every slightest issue? Are you not man enough to iron out your issues without bringing third party into it? That is why she detest you right cos U don't have mind of your own... Grow up!

You have sampled d bunani and has produced a child. You have sampled it several times, don't you think its time to move on? My brother, move on jare! She can keep the baby if she likes...u don't even know if the child is even yours. Wise up bro...don't be a fool.

Odamptey Lamptey's case is one typical example I want you to learn from. Go to you tube and search for his story.

My Friend, go on with your life. I had almost the same experience 3 years ago. Assisted my ex until she got to the university, and every thing about her changed after her first year. had no choice other than to move on, ended up braking up with her engagement ring and that was my best decision in life. people do not realize how important you are until you leave them. move on bro

comodo:

If have lost a woman's heart, you have lost her. My candid advice bro. Just move on, she is only seeing a black spot on a gem. There is someone out there that Will see only the gem. Wish her well and move on. Don't look back cos she will come in later as a distraction. Thank me later.

@Comodo I salute you and I believe you.

Skmoda360:

Did you read the part that said he had done the traditional rites......? So what else is making you to think she's not his wife?

My guy..... He said traditional rite, not traditional marriage.
Doing traditional rite is buying the items the family requested for.... Not paying the dowry.
,,

IamCharles123:

After traditional marriage, she's his wife. Ion know what you guys see in white wedding.

Calm down.... No body is obsessed with white wedding. The said said traditional rites, not traditional marriage.
Doing traditional rite is buying the items the family requested for.... Not paying the dowry. Is not the same thing.

penguinpikin:
... U suppose start to date am from kg 1. When u stay too long in a relationship u spend more. in the age of 21st century una dey do long term relationship

LOL.....

djon78:





Wahala
Trouble
Nsogbu uwa

I truly feel for you. Chei
You married a mean woman without any feelings for you.
Didn't you see signs during courtship?
I don't even know what to tell you
But may God comfort you, give you the wisdom to overcome this trial and wipe away your tears.

It is well with you bro

Amen!!!

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalanders, I greet you all.

Pls I need candid advice, I have dated my wife for over six years without an issue and now that we have done traditional rites and about to climax with white wedding she is giving flimsy excuses that she is no longer interested in me.

She is currently in final year and has drastically changed in her dressing and attitude towards due to influence of friends in school.

Often I do report incidences of her recent poor dressing to her parents after cautioning her she will channel the grievances to me.

The recent one made her so angry that she started recanting all my past mistakes which she and her family are aware of and have resolved since now using it as an excuse against me that she is no longer interested.

She kept mute for over two weeks due to anger yet I still transferred money twice to her but up till now she did not acknowledged it, only for her to send text that she need money for our daughters school fees. I then decide to visit them off campus where they stay yesterday with lots of provision yet she could not say a common thank you.

While I was still making peace with her asking her to forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to her by reporting her to her PARENTS, promising not to do so again, a guy knocked the door and she went out after the guy I asked a relation who was there who was the guy and he said he is my wife's friend, I quickly followed them on citing me the guy diverted after their discussion about me.

When we then entered the house I asked her who was the guy and she said that's not my business. I kept quiet.

After a while I called her parents to tell them the situation of things that their daughter said she is no longer interested they now asked us to come down to the village to see them this coming weekend.

I know things are not alright somewhere and as such I need straight forward advice on what to do.

Pls no insult just help out.

Thanks

Guy stop begging the lady. Take the first move of calling off the relationship and demand the family to return whatever you have paid for her bride price then watch and see what happens.

Ladies don't value men that are desperate about them, i have been in this game for many years.

You are too soft.
Must the both of you get married? because she has a child for you?

Guy show yourself a man....

focus on your kid biko

So you open thread on top one yeye girl wey no get sense I pity men with this Mr nice attitude towards women ... because them no they hear advise

pocohantas:


You are in luck sis. It is very real

Thanks but I don't think I'm lucky in anyway. Haven't you heard the gist that girls who are "out there" are the most sought after or at least easily get married. I have friends who used to date sugar daddies. ALL of them are married now.

It's quite disheartening Bro, but it's obvious that your lady may not be interested in you or being with you anymore.
Her actions show irritation, disdain and lack of respect to you.
Do you want to live a life of forever begging her and trying to settle issues?
Love is patient, love is kind, love bears no grudge.
Someone who loves you and sincerely cares about you will not let quarrell linger for weeks or stop talking to you or make you feel jealous with the presence of another man.
I won't tell what to do but please never be an option in someone's life.

Derea:


Thanks but I don't think I'm lucky in anyway. Haven't you heard the gist that girls who are "out there" are the most sought after or at least easily get married. I have friends who used to date sugar daddies. ALL of them are married now.

Lol. I know that, I have like 3 I know from uni that are married too. I still do not think it means they are most sought after, because I will be lying if I say I haven't had (responsible) men propose marriage to me- despite being a conservative.

No one should use them as a standard. The reward for living a good life isn't a ring, if it comes with a good man/ring- fine.

pocohantas:
The earlier you guys understand that not so many undergraduate girls are very pro-marriage, the better for you. Once you spot that one who is very much interested in the fast life, pull the plug immediately.

Her parents told you both to come to the VILLAGE? You think if her parents had enough to be giving her, she would bother herself with you?

It is painful my dear, but your wife is in her hoe-phase. Some skip that phase, some spend few years in it, some stay a decade there- even do spillover.

You need to have some self-respect. A grown ass man following two fcking undergraduates to hear their conversation?

You guys don't hear word. You remind me of my colleague and that tin-tomatoes-headed girl he was pursuing. One small 200l girl. The way the girl did his heart ehn, she passed it through shredder.

Go find one afternoon newspaper that has her life figured out. Someone that will bring in tangible and intangible resources to the relationship. That way when she wants to throw it all away, she would think of how it would hit her own balance sheet.

My God!
So we still have articulate people in this part of the world. I'm impressed!

PrimadonnaO:


How can you say it's not a bad idea that he wants to take a child from its mother...and not to raise this child himself, but a granny?

The child ALSO has a father.

But then, that's why I asked for the little girl's age. And I said "not a bad idea" because granny is still family not necessarily because he's taking her from the mother.

Maybe he will be too busy to raise the girl himself especially if she's still very young.

Again, I have seen young girls who give birth out of wedlock & leave the baby for their mother (the baby's GRANNY). It's common.

MYDEBBY:


@Maasoap,I have moved on already.

Thanks.

I'm very much happy to hear this because I know it is very difficult to just move on like that, most especially that it has gone beyond boyfriend/girlfriend or fiancée/fiance of a thing. I had been there, most especially if the man is not the type that can easily hook up with another girl/woman. You just have to brace up and put an end to this kind misery of a relationship.
My thread about my ordeal was shared here, you may be interested in going through it, it could be an inspiration

https://www.nairaland.com/773161/how-tell-im-getting-married#9260613

Now, I had been married for 8 years to the same girl I was talking about in that thread, the one I met when she quit. With children and other blessings

maasoap:


I'm very much happy to hear this because I know it is very difficult to just move on like that, most especially that it has gone beyond boyfriend/girlfriend or fiancée/fiance of a thing. I had been there, most especially if the man is not the type that can easily hook up with another girl/woman. You just have to brace up and put an end to this kind misery of a relationship.
My thread about my ordeal was shared here, you may be interested in going through it, it could be an inspiration

https://www.nairaland.com/773161/how-tell-im-getting-married#9260613

Now, I had been married for 8 years to the same girl I was talking about in that thread, the one I met when she quit. With children and other blessings

Thanks its so inspiring.

maasoap:


I'm very much happy to hear this because I know it is very difficult to just move on like that, most especially that it has gone beyond boyfriend/girlfriend or fiancée/fiance of a thing. I had been there, most especially if the man is not the type that can easily hook up with another girl/woman. You just have to brace up and put an end to this kind misery of a relationship.
My thread about my ordeal was shared here, you may be interested in going through it, it could be an inspiration

https://www.nairaland.com/773161/how-tell-im-getting-married#9260613

Now, I had been married for 8 years to the same girl I was talking about in that thread, the one I met when she quit. With children and other blessings

Oga maasoap wetin happen? Na wah for u o.

U deserve cane o, with all the mouth u made for that thread but before I cane u, tell us what went down and how u dropped ur fiancee to marry the run away girlfriend...

Kindly update the thread or open another one, let us all learn from ur travails.

This life sha, what will be will always be

Only God knows who someone will end up with no matter the years of courtship or breakup or quarrell.

I'll be waiting here patiently with my cane...

Oya I'm all ears...

Tokziby:


Oga maasoap wetin happen? Na wah for u o.

U deserve cane o, with all the mouth u made for that thread but before I cane u, tell us what went down and how u dropped ur fiancee to marry the run away girlfriend...

Kindly update the thread or open another one, let us all learn from ur travails.

This life sha, what will be will always be

Only God knows who someone will end up with no matter the years of courtship or breakup or quarrell.

I'll be waiting here patiently with my cane...

Oya I'm all ears...

No no no, I didn't marry the run away girl. I'm married to the one I said I wanted to marry in that thread. I'm sorry if my post wasn't clear enough

Op, another action you should take is stop calling her or asking after her,dont chat her,DONT ever send to money to her again anything you want to do for your kid that involves money make sure you go there to confirm or pay to the recipients account .DONT ever pay money to her account again.
If you are the one paying her school fees and other accessories stop forthwith,the parents are aware of everything ,they just wanted you to finish paying her school fees ,later they will tell you they cannot force their daughter marry who she does not like.

My best advice is to tell them you are not more interested in the marriage, you will be surprised by your girl reaction,as long as you keep pleading she would continue misbehaving,if possible you should call her or text her and tell you are no more interested in the marriage ,then lock up and be unavailable for comments and peace talks

Op, another action you should take is stop calling her or asking after her,dont chat her,DONT ever send money to her again anything you want to do for your kid that involves money make sure you go there to confirm or pay to the recipients account .DONT ever pay money to her account again.
If you are the one paying her school fees and other accessories stop forthwith,the parents are aware of everything ,they just wanted you to finish paying her school fees ,later they will tell you they cannot force their daughter marry who she does not like.

My best advice is to tell them you are no more interested in the marriage, you will be surprised by your girl reaction,as long as you keep pleading she would continue misbehaving,if possible you should call her or text her and tell you are no more interested in the marriage ,then lock up and be unavailable for comments and peace talks

mp3ree:
Op, another action you should take is stop calling her or asking after her,dont chat her,DONT ever send money to her again anything you want to do for your kid that involves money make sure you go there to confirm or pay to the recipients account .DONT ever pay money to her account again.
If you are the one paying her school fees and other accessories stop forthwith,the parents are aware of everything ,they just wanted you to finish paying her school fees ,later they will tell you they cannot force their daughter marry who she does not like.

My best advice is to tell them you are no more interested in the marriage, you will be surprised by your girl reaction,as long as you keep pleading she would continue misbehaving,if possible you should call her or text her and tell you are no more interested in the marriage ,then lock up and be unavailable for comments and peace talks

Thank you mpree am done too,am only attending the meeting this weekend for the sake of my little daughter cos I must carry her away the current friends I find her mum with are not good for my little girl.Thanks Mpree.

MYDEBBY:


Thank you mpree am done too,am only attending the meeting this weekend for the sake of my little daughter cos I must carry her away the current friends I find her mum with are not good for my little girl.Thanks Mpree.

Update thus thread with the turnout of events after the meeting. Out up your coolest face and attitude before/during the meeting.

Obviously shes no longer interested in the relationship,so Just end it. Is better now.

healthserve:




Update thus thread with the turnout of events after the meeting. Out up your coolest face and attitude before/during the meeting.

Thanks health serve I will do my best by the Grace of God.

ststyreal:

I pray God gives the Op the heart to carry on

if he likes, if he doesn't like he should be chasing after another di.ck chaser

MYDEBBY:


Thanks I receive your five cent.

Trust God that all you lost will come back. Please note that God is not a magician, His time is always the best have faith and it will be well with you.

nogragra:

Trust God that all you lost will come back. Please note that God is not a magician, His time is always the best have faith and it will be well with you.

Amen!!!!!!!,Thanks nogragra

olabrinks:
My cousin is a young single man with no children and he is trying to marry a single mother. To be honest a lot of men don’t care they’re ready to be step daddies. When the girl is fine, can cook, bedmatics, most men become blind and stupid.

I agree there are some men who don't care marrying single mothers, however there are more men who will not want to marry a single mother. More unfortunately, of the few who don't care about marrying single mothers, some of them will be successfully persuaded and discouraged from marrying single mothers by their family members and friends. Nigeria is yet to evolve fully in to a point things like that rarely matters. The economics and family dynamics of doing such scare most men away.

baby124:

Try to resolve issues with your WIFE after this meeting PRIVATELY. Sit down with her and keep quiet till she tells you all on her mind, then you both agree on a solution. If she still insists she doesn’t want to marry then fine. I don’t think she wants the marriage to crash so be guided.

Don’t let these small boys destroy your home. Try to figure it out. Yoruba say it’s with plenty patience person dey use to become husband. Learn to work things out and listen to her side before taking action. I am sure you have also offended her many times too. Stop reporting every single thing, women do not like that!

Plus now that you are going to a new meeting, bringing brother in laws, sister in laws into the mix. You are setting your marriage up for future issues because your brother and sister will use these allegations against her even if not true, right through marriage and long after you are gone. Most of the people here don’t come from homes where the parents are together so they will advise you rubbish.

oga who are referring to as Small boy

Better take your time