Toks2008:


Nice

!

Tastyme:




Uncle, ur English dey always totori me sha! Love the way you speak/write. Highly impressed. Infact, i'm a huge fan. Thumps up!

Thanks but you don hear me speak before?

cooooooks:
What does pursuing mean? I don't consider the word "pursuing" and the phrase "showing interest" to be the same thing.

If you show interest but she's clear that she's not interested, why continue to disturb her.

If she eventually 'settles' for you, small thing and she might say "na you beg me to marry you".

I think you should marry/date people who have a genuine interest in marrying/dating you too.

I agree with you.....maybe I didn't put it well, but the "pursuing" I'm referring to is the basic wooing a man does when you meet a woman and you are interested in her. It is not all women that will agree to date after a first or second "toasting" abi?

SeverusSnape:
@ Womenareapes

... your signature, 'The manipulated man'.

Yeap!

OlawaleBammie:


Ahh, kilomean na?? did i say Uni or Poly or secondary sch class??

i mean ur calibre and category, ladies who falls within ur circle wil hav tym for u, stop chasing shadow.

wait Festus, do you mean ladies like to fall in circle when they are chasing their eyes shadow without time?

I think he a home base Ghana groundnut seller because they're the only ones that like ladies to fall down while drawing circles with eye shadow

0KNM:
wait Festus, do you mean ladies like to fall in circle when they are chasing their eyes shadow without time?

I love the feel of this new nairaland. Like if you agree, share if u disagree

Just saw you finally edited your 1st post....

Toks2008:
[b]For the benefit of this piece it is important i define what chase in this context mean.. "To chase simply means making repetitive attempt to win the desire of a lady who does not want you"

But bro, you have to remember that there is the game of seduction that comes into play. You gotta woo this woman and show her that you have the right character/attributes etc. You can't do that in just a minute by showing your intention and expect a direct answer (aka yes or no)

As men and women, we have to desire one another on a stronger level than just saying;"hey I want you so the ball is in your court, bye"

A man should show a desire for a lady and not desperation but when you begin to chase a lady then you have crossed the line and if she eventually says YES, it will probably be because she has run out of time waiting for her preferred type of man or she just feels worn out by the pressure you mounted on her and will rarely be because she really wants to be with you..and the worst part is that you will end up being the one who will be making more sacrifices towards making the relationship work since you made it look like you desperately won her like a trophy or medal you have to keep fighting to keep.[/b]

I think you are confusing someone being careful/patient/observant with someone who simply doesnt want you... Expecting any/every woman to give you a direct YES or NO answer right there and then, without 1st understanding why she is hesitant about being with you, is a sure way to fail on this issue.

For every lady you chase, it is most likely that there is a man out there that she is craving for so why ridicule yourself?

Now your misplaced ego is talking....
A) how do you know that you ain't the person she is craving for? Maybe she simply is careful because of past failed r/ships or not being ready to date again....

B) Who cares if a lady craves some other dude? NEVER be afraid to go for what you desire in life and be the best man you can ever be.... if she needs time to evaluate whatever you are offering then give her the time to make up her mind, while continuing to stay close to the babe...instead of running away and being bitter, like a spoiled child, if she doesn't give you a direct answer.

C) There is nothing ridicule/embarrassing about going after a woman you desire... thinking like that will have men be afraid of women, while we should never do that. Its called LIFE and sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. No big deal.

..It is interesting to know that Nine out of every Ten single ladies already have a mind made guy they would love to be with?...simply put, almost every lady has a spec and if you don't meet up to the spec there is absolutely nothing you can do than to move on to another lady who may likely have you as her kind of man.

We ALL (men and women) have specs... we all are looking for the perfect person, but the reality is that the majority of us men AND women will settle with someone who have most of the characteristics that we are looking for in a partner. The catch is taking the adequate time to confirm (or not) that this person has these attributes that we are seeking. Expecting a woman to see such attributes after just a few dates is far fetched.

The reality is that many of us men, see a beautiful women and decide (solelely based on looks/sex appeal) that she is ok to date and that we will see, as time goes by, if she has the right character/attributes to be a keeper... and if she ultimately ain't, then we men dont really care because we had unrestricted access to her toto (win-win situation)... but sadly, WOMEN THINK DIFFERENTLY THAN US MEN When it comes to this subject.

Some ladies have crazy desires and turn-ons like beards, 6pack, height, skin color, Age, Tribe, P*nis size and several other weird and funny preferences that attract them to a man and if you don't have their desired qualities just forget wasting your time chasing them.

There is nothing crazy about the above desires... just like us men desire intelligent women with banging "Kim K type" bodies, God fearing, perfect cook and expert cleaners who take care of our kids like no other.... and most importantly,
don't complain about shiiit. Come on bro, let's be realistic here and let's instead understand that it doesn't matter what anybody desires so long as you present yourself right and put your cards and A game on the table...and basta!

The best bet is to approach a lady in a mature way, tell her about your desire for her and be very sensitive to her body language.. if she wants you then go for her but if she rejects you simply tell her to be your friend with hope that she changes her mind and MOVE ON...

Bro...no woman would tell you YES unless she is desperate or crazy. There is nothing sexy/seductive or even caring about the above scenario you mentioned. It sounds more like a TRANSACTION instead of SEDUCTION. I think you see things in just black and white instead of colourful.

In the real dating world: You meet a babe and you try to get to know her in a fun positive way, you guys go out have fun together, talk and discover one another in a sensitive/passionate way.... and you wouldn't have to tell her about your intentions as it will flow naturally and both of you will get the picture, and possibly connect....and before you know it, you would be kissing that babe passionately.

And no matter how you look or how your condition is, you must understand that there is a lady out there who is hoping to meet a guy just like you so stop wasting your time chasing a lady who does not want your type.

I hope this makes sense.

... and unless ANY man looks at himself proudly in the mirror every morning, and believe in the person he sees, he will always have his misplaced ego in the way, thus remain failing at the beautiful game of SEDUCTION.

MrBrownJay1:
Just saw you finally edited your 1st post....



But bro, you have to remember that there is the game of seduction that comes into play. You gotta woo this woman and show her that you have the right character/attributes etc. You can't do that in just a minute by showing your intention and expect a direct answer (aka yes or no)

As men and women, we have to desire one another on a stronger level than just saying;"hey I want you so the ball is in your court, bye"



I think you are confusing someone being careful/patient/observant with someone who simply doesnt want you... Expecting any/every woman to give you a direct YES or NO answer right there and then, without 1st understanding why she is hesitant about being with you, is a sure way to fail on this issue.



Now your misplaced ego is talking....
A) how do you know that you ain't the person she is craving for? Maybe she simply is careful because of past failed r/ships or not being ready to date again....

B) Who cares if a lady craves some other dude? NEVER be afraid to go for what you desire in life and be the best man you can ever be.... if she needs time to evaluate whatever you are offering then give her the time to make up her mind, while continuing to stay close to the babe...instead of running away and being bitter, like a spoiled child, if she doesn't give you a direct answer.

C) There is nothing ridicule/embarrassing about going after a woman you desire... thinking like that will have men be afraid of women, while we should never do that. Its called LIFE and sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. No big deal.



We ALL (men and women) have specs... we all are looking for the perfect person, but the reality is that the majority of us men AND women will settle with someone who have most of the characteristics that we are looking for in a partner. The catch is taking the adequate time to confirm (or not) that this person has these attributes that we are seeking. Expecting a woman to see such attributes after just a few dates is far fetched.

The reality is that many of us men, see a beautiful women and decide (solelely based on looks/sex appeal) that she is ok to date and that we will see, as time goes by, if she has the right character/attributes to be a keeper... and if she ultimately ain't, then we men dont really care because we had unrestricted access to her toto (win-win situation)... but sadly, WOMEN THINK DIFFERENTLY THAN US MEN When it comes to this subject.



There is nothing crazy about the above desires... just like us men desire intelligent women with banging "Kim K type" bodies, God fearing, perfect cook and expert cleaners who take care of our kids like no other.... and most importantly,
don't complain about shiiit. Come on bro, let's be realistic here and let's instead understand that it doesn't matter what anybody desires so long as you present yourself right and put your cards and A game on the table...and basta!



Bro...no woman would tell you YES unless she is desperate or crazy. There is nothing sexy/seductive or even caring about the above scenario you mentioned. It sounds more like a TRANSACTION instead of SEDUCTION. I think you see things in just black and white instead of colourful.

In the real dating world: You meet a babe and you try to get to know her in a fun positive way, you guys go out have fun together, talk and discover one another in a sensitive/passionate way.... and you wouldn't have to tell her about your intentions as it will flow naturally and both of you will get the picture, and possibly connect....and before you know it, you would be kissing that babe passionately.



... and unless ANY man looks at himself proudly in the mirror every morning, and believe in the person he sees, he will always have his misplaced ego in the way, thus remain failing at the beautiful game of SEDUCTION.

Apparently you just felt like wŕiting cos you kept paraphrasing my write up and at the end agreed with it.

Now read this part again and this time very slowly....comprehend it and you will realize that all your epistles are not necessary.

"The best bet is to approach a lady in a mature way, tell her about your desire for her and be very sensitive to her body language.. if she wants you then go for her but if she rejects you simply tell her to be your friend with hope that she changes her mind and MOVE ON..."

0KNM:
wait Festus, do you mean ladies like to fall in circle when they are chasing their eyes shadow without time?

Festus ko, Kayemo ni.


Oga mada Ori mi ru jare, wat are u typing?? pls express urself in a more comprehendible ways joo.

Toks2008:

Apparently you just felt like wŕiting cos you kept paraphrasing my write up and at the end agreed with it.

Nah bro, I am telling you about SEDUCING a woman before expecting her to make up her mind about dating you or not....and as we all know that it takes time to seduce someone, you cant possibly expect her to make up her mind as soon as you have shown your intentions.

Furthermore, I forgot to mention that if you go after a proper TOP babe, then chances are there are 10 other brothas (like you) trying to impress her thus only your A game will do and it would be indeed difficult for her to make up her mind.

MrBrownJay1:


Nah bro, I am telling you about SEDUCING a woman before expecting her to make up her mind about dating you or not....and as we all know that it takes time to seduce someone, you cant possibly expect her to make up her mind as soon as you have shown your intentions.

Furthermore, I forgot to mention that if you go after a proper TOP babe, then chances are there are 10 other brothas (like you) trying to impress her thus only your A game will do and it would be indeed difficult for her to make up her mind.

Seduction kwa.

MrBrownJay1:
Just saw you finally edited your 1st post....



But bro, you have to remember that there is the game of seduction that comes into play. You gotta woo this woman and show her that you have the right character/attributes etc. You can't do that in just a minute by showing your intention and expect a direct answer (aka yes or no)

As men and women, we have to desire one another on a stronger level than just saying;"hey I want you so the ball is in your court, bye"



I think you are confusing someone being careful/patient/observant with someone who simply doesnt want you... Expecting any/every woman to give you a direct YES or NO answer right there and then, without 1st understanding why she is hesitant about being with you, is a sure way to fail on this issue.



Now your misplaced ego is talking....
A) how do you know that you ain't the person she is craving for? Maybe she simply is careful because of past failed r/ships or not being ready to date again....

B) Who cares if a lady craves some other dude? NEVER be afraid to go for what you desire in life and be the best man you can ever be.... if she needs time to evaluate whatever you are offering then give her the time to make up her mind, while continuing to stay close to the babe...instead of running away and being bitter, like a spoiled child, if she doesn't give you a direct answer.

C) There is nothing ridicule/embarrassing about going after a woman you desire... thinking like that will have men be afraid of women, while we should never do that. Its called LIFE and sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. No big deal.



We ALL (men and women) have specs... we all are looking for the perfect person, but the reality is that the majority of us men AND women will settle with someone who have most of the characteristics that we are looking for in a partner. The catch is taking the adequate time to confirm (or not) that this person has these attributes that we are seeking. Expecting a woman to see such attributes after just a few dates is far fetched.

The reality is that many of us men, see a beautiful women and decide (solelely based on looks/sex appeal) that she is ok to date and that we will see, as time goes by, if she has the right character/attributes to be a keeper... and if she ultimately ain't, then we men dont really care because we had unrestricted access to her toto (win-win situation)... but sadly, WOMEN THINK DIFFERENTLY THAN US MEN When it comes to this subject.



There is nothing crazy about the above desires... just like us men desire intelligent women with banging "Kim K type" bodies, God fearing, perfect cook and expert cleaners who take care of our kids like no other.... and most importantly,
don't complain about shiiit. Come on bro, let's be realistic here and let's instead understand that it doesn't matter what anybody desires so long as you present yourself right and put your cards and A game on the table...and basta!



Bro...no woman would tell you YES unless she is desperate or crazy. There is nothing sexy/seductive or even caring about the above scenario you mentioned. It sounds more like a TRANSACTION instead of SEDUCTION. I think you see things in just black and white instead of colourful.

In the real dating world: You meet a babe and you try to get to know her in a fun positive way, you guys go out have fun together, talk and discover one another in a sensitive/passionate way.... and you wouldn't have to tell her about your intentions as it will flow naturally and both of you will get the picture, and possibly connect....and before you know it, you would be kissing that babe passionately.



... and unless ANY man looks at himself proudly in the mirror every morning, and believe in the person he sees, he will always have his misplaced ego in the way, thus remain failing at the beautiful game of SEDUCTION.

Oga, ur last two paragraphs stil agree with the motion na, soo wat are u trying to say in summary.??

Toks2008:


Seduction kwa.

Bwaaaaaah so you don't know what seducing a woman means. So what?! You take a babe to diner, tell her what you do, tell her what you want in a woman, then expect her to give you a YES or NO answer, abi?!

MrBrownJay1:


Bwaaaaaah so you don't what seducing a woman means. So what?! You take a babe to diner, tell her what you do, tell her what you want in a woman, then expect her to give you a YES or NO answer, abi?!

Boboyi mà yo mi lenu..A n wi iru o n wi iru.

OlawaleBammie:


Oga, ur last two paragraphs stil agree with the motion na, soo wat are u trying to say in summary.??

To type just dey hungry the guy...

OlawaleBammie:


Oga, ur last two paragraphs stil agree with the motion na, soo wat are u trying to say in summary.??

Not at all...in all what he has written there is no connection, no seduction....he expects an answer from a stranger, as if all women are the same. All women are different and some you can seduce in a short time while others take time.... and although that woman would know your INTENTIONS the minute you start to show interest in her, it would take time for her to know if you have the right attributes/characters/vibe to DESIRE YOU.

truthsayer009:


Bro nice piece man. I like your write ups. It is mature and doesn't not necessarily push women under the bus like Ubunja and his fellow banters, rather it tells the truth of the whole story why Women should not even date Men they don't really like because he has become the only option.

Women have this annoying attitude of keeping you around just in case you become the only option even if they are super sure they don't like you.

A lot of foolish Men out there usually think this is Playing Hard-to-get. Instead of simply walking away as fast as possible & figuring out their own life.

This is a Jupiter truth

Toks2008:

To type just dey hungry the guy...

e b like say d guy don do sekitri wok bfor.

Toks2008:


From the days of mongo park nairaland ladies have always failed back to back to comprehend my write ups...

Did you read that body language part? There is a way a lady will say NO in view to saying yes and there is a NO that sends a note of finality...it is for the man to decipher which is which and make his decisions based on that.

A mature lady who really likes you won't let you chase her but will create that comfy psyche in you...its simple logic.

Especially the courtesans

MrBrownJay1:


Not at all...in all what he has written there is no connection, no seduction....he expects an answer from a stranger, as if all women are the same. All women are different and some you can seduce in a short time while others take time.... and although that woman would know your INTENTIONS the minute you start to show interest in her, it would take time for her to know if you have the right attributes/characters/vibe to DESIRE YOU.

@bolded, den my definition if a virtuous, sensible, intelligent woman is d woman dat acept to b ur friend and express the compy to make the friendship work without any degree of redundancy just to ascertain the bolded.

OlawaleBammie:


@bolded, den my definition if a virtuous, sensible, intelligent woman is d woman dat acept to b ur friend and express the compy to make the friendship work without any degree of redundancy just to ascertain the bolded.

I don't really understand the above you wrote... but there is a huge difference between friendship and dating someone.

OlawaleBammie:


@bolded, den my definition if a virtuous, sensible, intelligent woman is d woman dat acept to b ur friend and express the compy to make the friendship work without any degree of redundancy just to ascertain the bolded.

Perfect explanation.

I don't know how to explain further.

ladyGKilaBCrueD:
carry your grantrtopic thread away from romance section to the dustbin section women are suppose to be chase by men.. is it chicken you want to chase? or are you gay?

Women are suppose to be desirable to the male folks,but any man that makes it a duty to chase ( which is interpreted as trying hard to convince her to be part of your life ) a woman ,have already lost from the get go !
If you got a wonderful life,got your shits together & living your dream,your aura & energy you exude will attract ladies to you.
It's very powerful.
Only when you got a not a good life,you go about convincing peoples to be part of your life.

MrBrownJay1:


I don't really understand the above you wrote... but there is a huge difference between friendship and dating someone.

Bro make I try this last time...when you woo a lady and she tells you "let's be friends first" she is actually saying I like you but I want to know you more but there is a NO that suggests NO WAY...I NO DO..when faced with such just don't push it...if that is proving difficult in the lady's world then she needs to grow up.

GLYCOLYSISS:

Women are suppose to be desirable to the male folks,but any man that makes it a duty to chase ( which is interpreted as trying hard to convince her to be part of your life ) a woman ,have already lost from the get go !
If you got a wonderful life,got your shits together & living your dream,your aura & energy you exude will attract ladies to you.
It's very powerful.
Only when you got a not a good life,you go about convincing peoples to be part of your life.

Good one.

MrBrownJay1:


I don't really understand the above you wrote... but there is a huge difference between friendship and dating someone.

U dont get me, lemme explain wat am trying to say with examples.

Month of May this year i became single, dis gav me a mental block due to inability to bear the loss of my relationship, i just manage the situation with rough emotions and all, like two months later i saw another girl, which is almost replica of my ex in statue, reasoning, complexion, height and religiosity, i like her and notin more as of dat period, i dont knw how to love at first sight, infact its insane to me.

i moved closer to dis lady and only asked to b friend, we exchanged pleasantries and numbers, i would later call dis lady just to say hi and have little chat but i noticed dat of all move i took notin was reciprocated, ok, and me self i like myself, i would never ever burge ur with incessant calls and all, the highest i would do in a week is twice provided u re nt putting any efot, and d reason i would make two calls in a week is cus of d mentality dat lady would do lik a lady and need to b chased. ok

wat am i sayin sir, dis lady only remembered me weneva i called, if i dont call in a month she wouldnt bother to knw how am fairing, ok na.
I would call this lady and we would b talking on fone, a minute into the call she may tell me she want to atend to someone, fine, but etiquette demand u beep me bak wen u re tru at least to show ur intent of remaining in d friendship but she wouldnt call to tell u she's tru.

Dis kept happening for a month and some weeks sha, nobody told me to chill out jejely, in dis scenario u dont need any super pointer to knw ur magnitude and direction unless u re a scalar quantity.


in a more contrasting scenario, i saw this lady on my way from Benin to Lagos, after some hours of gluing my earpiece to my ears, i finally responded to her greetings and gesture, i swear i didn't even knw wen we exchanged numbers and we hav bn very good friends, tho no intention of dating her cus am afraid but at least she gave me the pointer if i ever wanted a more serious affair.

wow 0knm needs to hear this. he always around begging for kitten on Nairaland because he's a Ghana looking petrol seller.

GLYCOLYSISS:

Women are suppose to be desirable to the male folks,but any man that makes it a duty to chase ( which is interpreted as trying hard to convince her to be part of your life ) a woman ,have already lost from the get go !
If you got a wonderful life,got your shits together & living your dream,your aura & energy you exude will attract ladies to you.
It's very powerful.
Only when you got a not a good life,you go about convincing peoples to be part of your life.

Guest007:
Women take time to warm up to a man... It's not chasing it's courting.

Women are slow cookers and men are microwaves. This means it takes a woman time to get comfortable and to observe the man, before choosing him and if you don't want to give them that time then...

If you run from every woman who doesn't jump at the chance of dating you then you're setting yourself up for...

Women are not like men and if this granddad knew anything about women and relationships then...

FP doesn't pay

Forget all these stuff guys are fond of saying ,that women are confuse ,they actually are not !
A woman know when she is attracted to you even earlier than a guy,but may decide to play cool so not to appear desperate.
But men are more expressive of their feelings.
A woman know if she is attracted to you ,even within 1 to 2 mins of meeting a guy,maybe may decide to get to know the guy better.
But the attraction is already there .
Note,there is a huge difference between attraction & like.
A woman may actually not like you,but could be attracted to you.
It takes time for you to like someone,but not the same applicable with attraction.

@seun you wan spoil person eyes abi.

So in other words if she need time to make up her mind the man should not exercise patience?

It's good not to be a troll but sometimes a woman need time to study your traits including character before making up her mind