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How To Prevent Divorce - Things You Should Establish In Early Marriage - Family - Nairaland

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How To Prevent Divorce - Things You Should Establish In Early Marriage by efoghorjos: 5:31am On Nov 02, 2010
Divorce is one big problem that has bedeviled the institution of marriage that needs to be prevented by all means if God’s plan for the family is to be realized. It has to be fought with every available weapon because of the negative effects it has on the children and society.

Preventing divorce means giving the marriage institution more hope. It gives the children and their parents the opportunity to live together as one united body for life. It also saves society from those problems created by children from broken homes.

How can it be done?
You need to establish certain principles that should govern your marriage right from inception. Once these principles are established, the stakeholders must be willing to abide by them.

1. God’s leadership: You need to define the leader of the family. God should be established as the head of the relationship; the spouses must be ready to obey his leadership and live according to his principles. When this is done, divorce would successfully be prevented.

2. God’s word: You also need to establish the word of God as your guide. Working according to and living by the word of God makes it easier to know what is required of you; it also lets you know God’s position on divorce.

3. Truthfulness: One other thing that would help you prevent divorce is truthfulness and transparency. When you are honest to your spouse, he/she learns to trust you. Your spouse gets to understand that whatever you tell him/her is correct. This helps to keep the relationship intact and stronger.

4. Define your roles: Each person’s role should be clearly defined from the outset. This helps to prevent constant friction or disagreements. The lesser the frictions the lesser the threat or possibility of separation.

5. Mutual respect: The marriage should be founded on the principle of mutual respect for each other. Each partner should make sure the rights of the next person are not intentionally violated. This also helps to reduce the incidence of grumbling/complaints.

6. Communication: The line of communication must be kept open and each person should be accessible by the other. Communication makes it easier to know when one is hurt and what to do to pacify the offended person. It helps to prevent little things from escalating to major problems that would eventually threaten the relationship.

7. Likes and Dislikes: Individual likes and dislikes should be made known to each other right from the beginning; these must be respected by one another to prevent conflicts from breaking out from time to time.

8. Finance: How the family finance or budget is to be handled must also be spelt out from the beginning. Disagreements bordering on issues of finance can easily tear the family apart; so it must be avoided by respecting the financial agreement reached from the outset.


9. Children: The number of children to have must also be defined early enough. No partner would mount pressure when the number is reached, irrespective of the sexes of the children. This issue is easily handled if the couple decide from the beginning what they want, without anyone feeling cheated or robbed. The couple should be willing to accept whatever God gives out to them in good fate.

When decisions are collectively made and respected, the problem of divorce would be prevented right from the inception of the marriage. The couples would be able to live together peacefully and happily.

Subscribe to this blog at http://jossy-love-and-marriage..com

1 Like

Re: How To Prevent Divorce - Things You Should Establish In Early Marriage by darkman200: 5:35am On Nov 02, 2010
It is simple, don't pretend to be what you are not. If we both know what we are getting into to begin with and we agreed to go ahead and get married then there are no surprises that can spring up in the future. Every other advice is theory.
Re: How To Prevent Divorce - Things You Should Establish In Early Marriage by NAJALYN: 8:24pm On Nov 06, 2010
Thanks to efoghorjos for a beatiful post. I just want to chip in one or two things to what has been said. Couples should take all the steps highlighted, but can relax some, based on mutual consent, when it becomes necessary. That is avoid over-rigidity. Also couples should always settle their differences without inviting a third party; not even their parents. Bringing in a third party will only fuel the situation. Couples should keep their secrets protected. Do not disclose them to anyone, & I mean any one. "Oh I must tell my best friend." How do you know he/she is your best friend? Your so-called best friend may be your worst enemy. Finally, couples should learn from others mistakes so they can protect their marriage. It is a herculean task, but with God as Head of your home you will succeed.
Re: How To Prevent Divorce - Things You Should Establish In Early Marriage by NAJALYN: 8:25pm On Nov 06, 2010
Thanks to efoghorjos for a beatiful post. I just want to chip in one or two things to what has been said. Couples should take all the steps highlighted, but can relax some, based on mutual consent, when it becomes necessary. That is avoid over-rigidity. Also couples should always settle their differences without inviting a third party; not even their parents. Bringing in a third party will only fuel the situation. Couples should keep their secrets protected. Do not disclose them to anyone, & I mean any one. "Oh I must tell my best friend." How do you know he/she is your best friend? Your so-called best friend may be your worst enemy. Finally, couples should learn from others mistakes so they can protect their marriage. It is a herculean task, but with God as Head of your home you will succeed.
Re: How To Prevent Divorce - Things You Should Establish In Early Marriage by NAJALYN: 8:26pm On Nov 06, 2010
Thanks to efoghorjos for a beatiful post. I just want to chip in one or two things to what has been said. Couples should take all the steps highlighted, but can relax some, based on mutual consent, when it becomes necessary. That is avoid over-rigidity. Also couples should always settle their differences without inviting a third party; not even their parents. Bringing in a third party will only fuel the situation. Couples should keep their secrets protected. Do not disclose them to anyone, & I mean any one. "Oh I must tell my best friend." How do you know he/she is your best friend? Your so-called best friend may be your worst enemy. Finally, couples should learn from others mistakes so they can protect their marriage. It is a herculean task, but with God as Head of your home you will succeed.
Re: How To Prevent Divorce - Things You Should Establish In Early Marriage by gestapo(f): 11:11pm On Nov 06, 2010
efoghorjos:

Divorce is one big problem that has bedeviled the institution of marriage that needs to be prevented by all means if God’s plan for the family is to be realized. It has to be fought with every available weapon because of the negative effects it has on the children and society.

Preventing divorce means giving the marriage institution more hope. It gives the children and their parents the opportunity to live together as one united body for life. It also saves society from those problems created by children from broken homes.

How can it be done?
You need to establish certain principles that should govern your marriage right from inception. Once these principles are established, the stakeholders must be willing to abide by them.

1. God’s leadership: You need to define the leader of the family. God should be established as the head of the relationship; the spouses must be ready to obey his leadership and live according to his principles. When this is done, divorce would successfully be prevented.

2. God’s word: You also need to establish the word of God as your guide. Working according to and living by the word of God makes it easier to know what is required of you; it also lets you know God’s position on divorce.

3. Truthfulness: One other thing that would help you prevent divorce is truthfulness and transparency. When you are honest to your spouse, he/she learns to trust you. Your spouse gets to understand that whatever you tell him/her is correct. This helps to keep the relationship intact and stronger.

4. Define your roles: Each person’s role should be clearly defined from the outset. This helps to prevent constant friction or disagreements. The lesser the frictions the lesser the threat or possibility of separation.

5. Mutual respect: The marriage should be founded on the principle of mutual respect for each other. Each partner should make sure the rights of the next person are not intentionally violated. This also helps to reduce the incidence of grumbling/complaints.

6. Communication: The line of communication must be kept open and each person should be accessible by the other. Communication makes it easier to know when one is hurt and what to do to pacify the offended person. It helps to prevent little things from escalating to major problems that would eventually threaten the relationship.

7. Likes and Dislikes: Individual likes and dislikes should be made known to each other right from the beginning; these must be respected by one another to prevent conflicts from breaking out from time to time.

8. Finance: How the family finance or budget is to be handled must also be spelt out from the beginning. Disagreements bordering on issues of finance can easily tear the family apart; so it must be avoided by respecting the financial agreement reached from the outset.


9. Children: The number of children to have must also be defined early enough. No partner would mount pressure when the number is reached, irrespective of the sexes of the children. This issue is easily handled if the couple decide from the beginning what they want, without anyone feeling cheated or robbed. The couple should be willing to accept whatever God gives out to them in good fate.

When decisions are collectively made and respected, the problem of divorce would be prevented right from the inception of the marriage. The couples would be able to live together peacefully and happily.

Subscribe to this blog at http://jossy-love-and-marriage..com

Ha ha, nice writeup, this is a lot better than the other tripe you wrote that was unfairly scripted to favour the man cool
Re: How To Prevent Divorce - Things You Should Establish In Early Marriage by Blazay(m): 5:33am On Nov 08, 2010
One way to prevent divorce is to stay away from single people if you are married.

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