Graxie: Too many ignorant folks, someone even claimed HIV patient take 15 drugs daily. Lazy youth. Oga husband, go to good teaching hospital and get counselling. If you want to divorce her please you are free, don't rub it on her to start taking all your excesses because of her condition. Your kids are safe as long as she is taking her medication, her viral load is less than 20,000 and her cd4 count is more than 500. She can still give birth to more healthy children. Many hiv positive mothers are giving birth through vj delivery once those conditions are in place. She deceived you which is very bad and you are free to divorce her because of deceit. Those doctors telling you that you are lucky are not serious truly. You are not positive because she is on drugs and her immune system is high.
My dear too many ignorant folks here even the so called doctors telling him that he is lucky. This kind of attitude is what made most people hide their status which is wrong though but they don't want to be stigmatized, undectable viral load = untransmittable, this means that if she takes her medication correctly and her viral load becomes undetectable then there is no way she will infect you. Yes you can divorce her because she did not open up to you if you want, but if you love her then two of you can be together as long as you are alive with her taking her drugs religiously without infecting you.
Graxie: Too many ignorant folks, someone even claimed HIV patient take 15 drugs daily. Lazy youth. Oga husband, go to good teaching hospital and get counselling. If you want to divorce her please you are free, don't rub it on her to start taking all your excesses because of her condition. Your kids are safe as long as she is taking her medication, her viral load is less than 20,000 and her cd4 count is more than 500. She can still give birth to more healthy children. Many hiv positive mothers are giving birth through vj delivery once those conditions are in place. She deceived you which is very bad and you are free to divorce her because of deceit. Those doctors telling you that you are lucky are not serious truly. You are not positive because she is on drugs and her immune system is high.
I tire for that "15 drugs daily" guy o,Her drug is 1tablet daily.I have been to many of the "Heart to Heart" centres in Lagos,My Last counselling and test was at LASUTH.She is collecting her drugs from one of the military hospitals in Lagos and the baby is on Nevirapine. For those tagging me weak, foolish, stupid and all sorts,I discovered all these about nine months ago when she wanted to start antenatal.Should I have abandoned her with the pregnancy,or abandon her with my one month son? She is wicked I know, but does that stop the fact that she is the mother of my children?No. No everything be gra gra na
chocolatelady: As a catholic , what u said is correct. Catholic Priest never like to divorce married couples except on rare occassion like this one the OP painted. But still the priest will continue to counsel the couple to forget divorce . If there is no way for living together. A letter is sent to Rome whereby it will be decided by only the pope based on the judicial court set up to investigate the case. If the pope find it ok to seperate the couple, he gives the go ahead order. But bros, I must say that the process is not easy at all. It take years and during those years , they will be waiting to see if there is any reconciallation from both parties. If not, the seperation is granted and both parties are free to marry and wed in the church.
Divorce is done by the High Court sweety. Otherwise it's invalid.
Not the church. The catholic church is just an agent of government to help people contract ---celebrate marriage.
Stop using Yorubas as example with out of wed pregnancies. Out of wed pregnancy is very common among yorubas, that it's now an acceptable norm among them. How many Igbos do you know with out of wed pregnancy? Very few. Igbo don't roll like that!
Look at this pea brained tribalist. An OSU rat like you get mouth to bad mouth Yoruba. It's not your fault sha, it's because lack of home training is a general trait among you flatheadedd people.
Una no dey do out of wedding pregnancies because those bastad babies are usually sold to baby factories by your promiscuous women. That's why the whole of South East is littered with baby factories.
Even doctors are suprised.We have been doing skin to skin for over 6yrs now.From what I gathered, she discovered her status sometime in 2014.
You most probably cannot be infected. There is a tiny percentage of people who cannot be HIV positive, even if its directly introduced into their bloodstream. They have a genetic disorder that stops the HIV from attaching to their system and multiplying.
Though the disorder has its own disadvantages, it has come in handy for you. Most likely, your kids inherited that too.
Go and celebrate, and do not take any disruptive action based on advice from Nairaland. There's a lot of kids here now. Talk to a therapist, maybe. Unburden your heart and don't expect any advice. Along the line, clarity will come and you will see exactly what your next line of action will be.
As they say, God chases flies away from tailless cows. You really have to thank him.
That is exactly what I'm planning to do.kids are involve here,if take hasty decision and make this public(to people that know us), the stigma will still rub off on me and the kids. I don't have to be wicked because she is. All these people calling me names are not even wise.I'M JUST ACTNG LIKE A FOOL TO FOOL THE THAT HAS BEEN FOOLING ME.
You have to be really smart at it. Be very careful too.
For your image and that of your kids, you must do everything to save her face and name.
Show her extreme love and support. You know why? She could kill you or use a blade on herself and infect you with it. She's deadly right now. She could do anything to get you down to keep this secret forever.
Just show her more love and care while you plan a way out. Don't ever give her sign that you want to leave her.
The fact that she deceived you is why you should leave her, not because she's HIV-positive.
If you want to be alive, pretend to love her and care for her.
Stop using Yorubas as example with out of wed pregnancies. Out of wed pregnancy is very common among yorubas, that it's now an acceptable norm among them. How many Igbos do you know with out of wed pregnancy? Very few. Igbo don't roll like that!
The baby factory industries littered all around your community are kept functioning by single girls some as young as 14years. These girls will still end up getting married, with nobody the wiser of how many babies they have churned out into the factory, and the studs impregnating them too will still get married. Those who have babies in Yorubaland out of wedlock are not sold to the highest bidder. They are raised by their families, and they know their roots as we know the value and blessings of children and the importance of a child knowing where he comes from, otherwise their destiny/journey in life will be derailed. The likelihood of siblings getting married to one another in the future is very slim. There's nothing as stupid as looking for the speck in your neighbor's eye while a log is balanced in your own eye.
prettysom: You've really done well sir, by keeping calm up till now. Please forgive her and let this issue slide, I'm sure she was afraid of being stigmatized, that was why she hid it. This woman has been trying and you're still negative because she has been taking her medics judiciously. Please just encourage and support her to continue taking her medics and check her viral load to know her current state of health. HIV Is not a death sentence. Once she continues with her drugs, you and your children will still be negative.
Arrant non sense! Didn't you read the part where he said she was VERY EAGER to know HIS STATUS?? She RISKED his life WITHOUT his knowledge, permission and encouragement!! So many ladies have done the EXACT same thing and their husbands weren't so lucky as the Op! Several got infected and the women continued as if nothing happened!
You have to be really smart at it. Be very careful too.
For your image and that of your kids, you must do everything to save her face and name.
Show her extreme love and support. You know why? She could kill you or use a blade on herself and infect you with it. She's deadly right now. She could do anything to get you down to keep this secret forever.
Just show her more love and care while you plan a way out. Don't ever give her sign that you want to leave her.
The fact that she deceived you is why you should leave her, not because she's HIV-positive.
If you want to be alive, pretend to love her and care for her.
Graxie: Too many ignorant folks, someone even claimed HIV patient take 15 drugs daily. Lazy youth. Oga husband, go to good teaching hospital and get counselling. If you want to divorce her please you are free, don't rub it on her to start taking all your excesses because of her condition. Your kids are safe as long as she is taking her medication, her viral load is less than 20,000 and her cd4 count is more than 500. She can still give birth to more healthy children. Many hiv positive mothers are giving birth through vj delivery once those conditions are in place. She deceived you which is very bad and you are free to divorce her because of deceit. Those doctors telling you that you are lucky are not serious truly. You are not positive because she is on drugs and her immune system is high.
Stop using Yorubas as example with out of wed pregnancies. Out of wed pregnancy is very common among yorubas, that it's now an acceptable norm among them. How many Igbos do you know with out of wed pregnancy? Very few. Igbo don't roll like that!
from the picture without clicking can't you see the drugs are the same? When you arrange the same anti malaria drugs in a row, does it mean you take them once? Why not go to any government hospital and get information on HIV and their drugs instead of this. Please I am tired of to and from discussion. The op knows how many drugs the wife is taking.
Hobbsandshaw: I need mature advice from nairalanders.
I got married to my wife December,2015. The marriage is now blessed with two boys, the 2nd boy came last month.
The issue now is that I just discovered my wife is HIV positive during this 2nd pregnancy.The woman that I showed so much love tricked me into marrying her knowing fully well that she was HIV positive. I'm not really angry because she is HIV positive,I'm angry because she has been playing me all along.
She was in the Uni in another state while we were dating.Almost to the end of her study in 2014, she called that she was pregnant after I visited.She came to Lagos with PT and scan results to prove her claim.She then pressured me into paying her bride price before the pregnancy become public.We did our traditional marriage and went to the registry.Months after the marriage,my wife said the pregnancy has mysteriously disappeared, blaming it on "village people",but the gentle man in me didn't allow me to read any meaning to the movie.She tricked me into marrying her with the fake pregnancy after discovering she is HIV positive.
She eventually took in(for real this time),she came back from antenatal one afternoon crying, when I enquired what the issue was, she told me that they booked her for C-SECTION,that the doctor said the baby's weight is below 2kg and will almost be impossible for her to have the baby by herself,I was there consoling her not knowing that the doctor opted for C-SECTION because she is HIV positive.She actually told them not to disclose her status to me.The baby was 3.6kg at birth.My son was giving Nevirapine.I did some search and discovered that the drug is an antiretroviral drug,I became worried but I still played it down.
Her lid finally blew when she started antenatal for this my 2nd son in a different hospital, maybe she might have thought to herself that at this point there is nothing I will do any more, she told me that the doctor referred her to a government hospital for HIV confirmatory test.We went and did the test,I don't know the trick she played this time, the result was non reactive for her, me and our son.I went to the hospital and made Alot of noise,we went home and celebrated.Seven months later, she had an accident and was admitted, the doctor not satisfied with result of our confirmatory test,took her sample and send it to one of the best labs in Lagos,all the kits shows she was reactive.Because of the scene I created earlier, the doctor called me and showed me the result.That was when I started playing back to the first pregnancy scam, the rush for the marriage and the Nevirapine that was giving to my first son and I discovered I was being fooled by this woman all along.
This woman has hid her status from me and have been taking drugs under my nose for over five years without me knowing.I and my boy have gone for test twice at seven months interval and we are confirmed negative. I was told at one teaching hospitals I went for the test last month that maybe I'm just lucky or we are "discordant couple" I have been expecting her to show remorse, and maybe apologize but she is still doing as if nothing happened.
I can't discuss this with my family or even hers, she will be stigmatize.I feel betrayed,I don't know how long I will stay in this marriage, but then I'm concerned about my boys. I'm afraid she might get desperate and try other means to infect me,I don't trust her. What should I do?
LadySarah: I must say you are one lucky man.Have been doing skin to skin all these yrs and still negative?
You are special
Modified:Science or not,taking drugs religously and having low viral load,i still maintain he is special. .If you so believe yourselves,go and experiment with a carrier .
That woman that I know will deliberately infect me if I offend her, she is capable of any thing when she is angry (I found that part of her out after we got married) I'm in my mid thirties, how long can I leave "perfectly" with her?
If you are so scare of her, its best you let others who can maturedly handle the information know.
Leaving it as a sceret between you 2 is dangerous if you ask me. Could lead to a motivation to silence you forever of you understand what I mean
Hobbsandshaw: I need mature advice from nairalanders.
I got married to my wife December,2015. The marriage is now blessed with two boys, the 2nd boy came last month.
The issue now is that I just discovered my wife is HIV positive during this 2nd pregnancy.The woman that I showed so much love tricked me into marrying her knowing fully well that she was HIV positive. I'm not really angry because she is HIV positive,I'm angry because she has been playing me all along.
She was in the Uni in another state while we were dating.Almost to the end of her study in 2014, she called that she was pregnant after I visited.She came to Lagos with PT and scan results to prove her claim.She then pressured me into paying her bride price before the pregnancy become public.We did our traditional marriage and went to the registry.Months after the marriage,my wife said the pregnancy has mysteriously disappeared, blaming it on "village people",but the gentle man in me didn't allow me to read any meaning to the movie.She tricked me into marrying her with the fake pregnancy after discovering she is HIV positive.
She eventually took in(for real this time),she came back from antenatal one afternoon crying, when I enquired what the issue was, she told me that they booked her for C-SECTION,that the doctor said the baby's weight is below 2kg and will almost be impossible for her to have the baby by herself,I was there consoling her not knowing that the doctor opted for C-SECTION because she is HIV positive.She actually told them not to disclose her status to me.The baby was 3.6kg at birth.My son was giving Nevirapine.I did some search and discovered that the drug is an antiretroviral drug,I became worried but I still played it down.
Her lid finally blew when she started antenatal for this my 2nd son in a different hospital, maybe she might have thought to herself that at this point there is nothing I will do any more, she told me that the doctor referred her to a government hospital for HIV confirmatory test.We went and did the test,I don't know the trick she played this time, the result was non reactive for her, me and our son.I went to the hospital and made Alot of noise,we went home and celebrated.Seven months later, she had an accident and was admitted, the doctor not satisfied with result of our confirmatory test,took her sample and send it to one of the best labs in Lagos,all the kits shows she was reactive.Because of the scene I created earlier, the doctor called me and showed me the result.That was when I started playing back to the first pregnancy scam, the rush for the marriage and the Nevirapine that was giving to my first son and I discovered I was being fooled by this woman all along.
This woman has hid her status from me and have been taking drugs under my nose for over five years without me knowing.I and my boy have gone for test twice at seven months interval and we are confirmed negative. I was told at one teaching hospitals I went for the test last month that maybe I'm just lucky or we are "discordant couple" I have been expecting her to show remorse, and maybe apologize but she is still doing as if nothing happened.
I can't discuss this with my family or even hers, she will be stigmatize.I feel betrayed,I don't know how long I will stay in this marriage, but then I'm concerned about my boys. I'm afraid she might get desperate and try other means to infect me,I don't trust her. What should I do?
Dude, you are living with a killer. Your life is hanging by a thread. If you are wise stay away from that woman with immediate effect. Call her parents and have a meeting with them. Report all you have reported here to her parents and tell them you cannot live with a woman that can kill you at any time. You never had a marriage and the lady you married was never you wife. Flee before you get killed. That woman is dangerous.
You have to be really smart at it. Be very careful too.
For your image and that of your kids, you must do everything to save her face and name.
Show her extreme love and support. You know why? She could kill you or use a blade on herself and infect you with it. She's deadly right now. She could do anything to get you down to keep this secret forever.
Just show her more love and care while you plan a way out. Don't ever give her sign that you want to leave her.
The fact that she deceived you is why you should leave her, not because she's HIV-positive.
If you want to be alive, pretend to love her and care for her.
Best advice, op listen, read this advie again n be smart, choose between d sanctity of marriage n life.
What's going on now? Personally, staying with her is risky, considering the kinda person you said she is. I'd rather live her and stay alive for my children than to risk it all with Lilith.
